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Archive for December 5th, 2009

Ok, so let’s say for the sake of argument – if the hacker that exposed ClimateGate did indeed find incontrovertible proof that this AGW stuff is all a terrible lie, does Gore have to give back his Oscar?

For fun, this was a real block of ice in a real pottery shop in Japan.  Kyoto, to be exact.  There’s a convoluted joke there, but I guess it isn’t a joke if you have to point it out like I just did.  Ahem.

Apparently Obama is ignoring ClimateGate ahead of this gathering of the UN in Copenhagen.  Good news tho – Hookers are providing free services.

That’s NOTHING compared to the utter screwing all of us are going to get at the hands of these power-hungry cronies.

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Nothing says “Hey dude, have a great Christmas” quite as much as an Official Enas Yorl Hotsauce Thneed™.  Now my hot sauce will never get chilly.

Thanks Enas!  Your gift is on it’s way this week.

Notice the bear in the background, slowly edging towards the hot sauce with a pink tongue?  Bad move.  Now we have the stench of charred stuffy animal throughout the house.

I am no stranger to Dave’s Insanity Sauce™.  For those who are not familiar, let me read the side of the bottle to you:

A great cooking ingredient for sauces, soups, and stews.  Also, strips waxed floors and removes driveway grease stains.

It is true.

Years ago I was eating some – I had poured it into a bowl and was eating tortilla chips while watching Monk.  I said to myself “Ok, don’t forget to put that away later.”  Then I went to bed, asking Cruel Wife if I could sleep in.

That morning the bedroom door was violently kicked in, there was the screaming of my wife and the shrieking of my little girl who was a toddler at the time.  She had found the bowl and dipped her hand in the sauce.  It burned her sensitive skin so she did what toddlers do and put her hand in her mouth.

So here is a baby who now has burned fingers, a mouth on fire, is flailing around and we’re trying to hose her off in the shower before she can get it in her eyes.

She shrieked for 30 minutes.  Nonstop.

I was told later that I was a particular shade of green.  I wanted to step in front of a bus.

Now in the present, it is one of life’s greatest joys to make up a batch of peanut butter cookies with a teaspoon of this mixed in and take them to work.  I set them on the table outside of my office and wait for the sounds of “Oh My GOD!” and running footsteps.  It’s the small pleasures in life…

Thanks Enas!

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Pupdate 2009

Zoe’s smile is contagious.

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