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Archive for February, 2010

Update…

Well, thanks for all the well-wishes.  You’re all great, really.

I’d love to say that I’m feeling great but true to the normal way these things go, they hurt worse before they hurt less.  Even with the pills I’m a-smartin’ today.  It’s just easier to care about it less, is all.

Ah well, this too shall pass.

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Here’s a little something that just came to me, S.T. Coleridge style.

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I am speechless.  Seriously I’m at a loss to understand what she’s using for brains.  The idiocy implied in her utterances is bottomless-pit deep.  If I were a Democrat I’d be ashamed of the Speaker.

Pelosi: GOP has had its day; confident Dems can pull together on health bill

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said Sunday that Republicans have left their mark on the healthcare bill and should accept that the bill will go forward.

“They’ve had plenty of opportunity to make their voices heard,” she said on CNN’s “State of the Union” Sunday morning. “Bipartisanship is a two-way street. A bill can be bipartisan without bipartisan votes. Republicans have left their imprint.”  - Kim Hart and Jordan Fabian

I do believe that a remark like that should be noted, along with the deafening silence on the part of Democrats in the wake of the utterance.  Then, at a later date this remark and its complete lack of outrage on the part of the majority should be brought out and shared like a quality red wine or scotch.

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Update #1:

Many of you may die horribly, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi urged her colleagues to back a major overhaul of U.S. health care even if it threatens their political careers, a call to arms that underscores the issue’s massive role in this election year.

What she should do is to promise to step down if even one demo loses his or her seat.  That’d show me her resolve.  Anything else is pure bitchery.

Update #2:

Just like another freak unpredicted snowstorm, along comes the high prophet Gore to whip the disillusioned back into fighting shape.  Thanks  to the NYT for providing the stage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/opinion/28gore.html

I, for one, genuinely wish that the climate crisis were an illusion. But unfortunately, the reality of the danger we are courting has not been changed by the discovery of at least two mistakes in the thousands of pages of careful scientific work over the last 22 years by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. In fact, the crisis is still growing because we are continuing to dump 90 million tons of global-warming pollution every 24 hours into the atmosphere — as if it were an open sewer.

Look up “egregious”.

But the scientific enterprise will never be completely free of mistakes. What is important is that the overwhelming consensus on global warming remains unchanged. It is also worth noting that the panel’s scientists — acting in good faith on the best information then available to them — probably underestimated the range of sea-level rise in this century, the speed with which the Arctic ice cap is disappearing and the speed with which some of the large glacial flows in Antarctica and Greenland are melting and racing to the sea.

This is exactly the opposite of what we have observed.  Does he expect that all he has to do is open his mouth and people believe?

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Something is really truly and scarily wrong.

A majority of Americans think the federal government poses a threat to rights of Americans, according to a new national poll.

Fifty-six percent of people questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Friday say they think the federal government’s become so large and powerful that it poses an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens. Forty-four percent of those polled disagree.

You IDIOTS.  You are supposed to think this!  You were never supposed to stop thinking it.  That’s why the Founders wrote the Constitution and Bill of Rights as they did.

Government has ALWAY represented a threat to your rights and freedoms.  That was recognized two hundred plus years ago.

God, when did IQ’s drop precipitously?

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Speaking of unsafe governments

Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Friday that President Barack Obama’s historic health care drive was closer to passage after a high-stakes summit with Republicans opposed to the overhaul.

As Democrats wrestled with how best to push the ambitious legislation forward, Pelosi said the unusual seven-hour talks on Thursday “made a difference, and it moved us closer to passing a bill.”

“We are determined that we are going to pass health-care reform,” said the speaker.

C.L. Gray, M.D. had a fantastic observation…

Given that President Obama’s plan has held on to the support of only one in four Americans, why did he begin the summit by refusing to honor Senator Alexander’s request to take reconciliation off the table? In effect, within the first few minutes, the president essentially told Republicans they must either agree with his plan, or he would ram current legislation through the Senate with 51 votes. The chance to start over with a clean sheet of paper and build on areas of agreement—the entire concept of a summit—was never a real possibility.

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There is a hugely clear link between sunscreen and cancer – 90-something percent of people who have cancer have used sunscreen at one point or another in their lives.  With that kind of correlation, what’s to debat?  So if you do a bit of thinking, it’s obvious that man’s pollution leads to global warming which leads to more sunscreen use which will then kill us.  Sunscreen is bad.

You’re probably thinking – “Oh LK’s on drugs again.”  And you’d be right, but I didn’t make this up.  These people really are full members of the culture that pisses themselves at the sight of their own shadow.

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I am not making this up.

CLIMATE scientists yesterday stunned Britons suffering the coldest winter for 30 years by claiming last month was the ­hottest January the world has ever seen.

The remarkable claim, based on global satellite data, follows Arctic temperatures that brought snow, ice and travel chaos to millions in the UK.

As usual, if there is error, it will be biased towards whichever side will result in the most research dollars flowing back to the scientists holding their hands out.

At the height of the big freeze, the entire country was blanketed in snow. But Australian weather expert Professor Neville Nicholls, of Monash University in Melbourne, said yesterday: “January, according to satellite data, was the hottest January we’ve ever seen.

“Last November was the hottest November we’ve ever seen. November-January as a whole is the hottest November-January the world has seen.” Veteran ­climatologist Professor Nicholls was speaking at an online climate change briefing, added: “It’s not warming the same everywhere but it is really quite challenging to find places that haven’t warmed in the past 50 years.”

Not so challenging when the data is weighted and homogenized, you twit.

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Taliban killing themselves as they plant IED’s.  Aw, too bad.

Up to 20 are thought to have died planting Improvised Explosive Devices.

They were racing to plant the IEDs before the Allied offensive Operation Moshtarak. The triggers on the IEDs have become so sensitive the terrorists are accidentally detonating them as they hide them.

Doesn’t that just break your heart?

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The Dude (AKA “Wilson” to my “House” at work) drove me to the doctor’s office yesterday.

There’s paperwork that you fill out every single time you darken their doorway and I wish they would  just print the info that never changes – name, referring doc’s name, DOB, “do you lust after flightless waterfowl”, etc., etc.  They do give you a crayon and let you color on a little picture of a person where it hurts.  I like to fill it all in and say “You’re the doctor, you tell me.”

They took me back and the place looked deserted, with only the distant roar of the surf and a gentle breeze.  In reality it was as if it were one of those puzzle pictures you get as a kid:  “How many indians can you spot?”   You look and you look and after a while you realize that there were really no less than seven thousand and three indians in that picture.

As soon as I was shown to my concrete-and-gravel gurney and I had changed into my neutered thneed which only covers one body part at a time, I started seeing more signs of life.  I stretched out on the C&G gurney and pulled out my project notebook.  Five minutes later they put an IV in my right hand, and so writing was impossible.

As if by cue it was suddenly as noisy as a Thai fish market in there.  One or two beds down in this vast “sick ward” style room was a woman sobbing and every fifteen or twenty seconds would gasp out something like “ooooooooohhhh-HOOOOO-oooo” She was in a lot of pain and not 20 feet away were nurses joking and laughing.  I think someone might have been tending to this lady at the same time but it wasn’t relaxing.

I kept smelling smells.  I don’t want to describe them.

On the other side of me was what sounded like a 372 year old lady who apparently had not one single vein in her body that could be tapped.  What veins were there were described by the doc as being crazy-quilted like broken safety glass.  They brought in people who were good with IV’s – a second floor nurse, the doctor who did my neck, my regular doc’s PA, one of the detoxing heroin junkies, a secretary, and I was even in line to give it a stab when a nurse rode up on her steed,  all decked out in glowing white and a ten gallon hat.  As skillfully as an ancient vampire she tapped that venerable grandmother and rode off to the cheers and adulation of nurses, doctors, and patients alike.

The woman on my right continued to sob but now her sobs had this fluffy happy puppy sound to them.  This probably meant that they had finally waited the minimum 45 minutes “to see if she was faking” and then went and gave her a nice dose of Dilaudid, Demerol, or morphine.

I walked in there with a 5 on the 0-10 pain scale when I moved wrong and it was starting to ping me pretty good while doing nothing after having sat there for over an hour (on that concrete-gravel-chicken-wire bed, mind you).

A nurse came by on the other side of the sheet where Madam Methuselah was and said “Are you a patient woman?”  (‘Yes’, croaked Madam M.)  The nurse sidesteps into my booth, then looks at me and says “Are you a patient man?”  I said “‘Man’ is questionable but I think I’m patient.”  This behavior on the part of the nurse is known as a ‘harbinger’.

Pretty soon they wheel Madam Methuselah out towards her treatment and she’s what, maybe in her mid-50’s.  Rough life or something.  Chronic pain ages you roughly 3 for 1, in my honest opinion so it’s anybody’s guess – she could have been 23 for all I know.

Make note of it – “Are you a patient ______?”  Means “Will you become a total assh*le if this takes another hour?”   All the nurse would say was that there was “an emergency”.

The moaner was now giggling and moaning so I asked the nurse if I could have what she was having.  The nurse gave me The Look and said “Behave.”   Over at the giggler’s booth here was lots of talk about her drinking lots of water and getting an appointment with bark bark-bark bark bark bark and to make sure she asked the specialist about mreow mreowww mreowww. She especially should mooooo-moo  MOO moooooo. Then the nurses cleared the animals out of the staging area but it was too late, I missed all the juicy details.

A full two hours had gone by.  I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since 7pm the night before and it was now 3pm.  Even so, one’s kidneys don’t shut down – they keep pumping out pee – it is just what they do.  So I ask the nurse if I can hit the head and she unhooks my IV bag and thrusts it in my arms, and says “Go.”

On the way, another nurse says “Where are you going?  You’re next.”  Old Nurse Ratched walks over to us and says “He needs to use the restroom.”

They must trade personalities like a hive consciousness because now the new nurse becomes the New and Improved Nurse Ratched and says “Go.  I don’t want to clean up your mess in there.”   At this point I’m thinking in a petulant tone, “Well, what if I want you to clean it up?”

So they let me go anyway and I hurriedly get rid of two of the last three gallons of liquid in my entire body.  You could have struck a match on my forehead, I was so dry.

I race back… No, I didn’t race… I shuffled back as fast as I could because by now my neck was locking up pretty fast.  I got to walk into the procedure room under my own power with my bag under my arm.  Odd because they don’t usually let you retain your dignity while you’re walking through a common sick room with a theed baring your ass to the world.  But, retain my dignity I did.

Then They:   Threw me on the table, crammed a cannula up my nose, hung up my bag, tore open my thneed, poured a gallon of icy-cold betadine on my neck and back, slapped a cryogenic cathode on top of my parched and now-dying kidneys, and slammed the door open just in time for the doctor to come prancing in.  This was all done like a NASCAR pit stop.

Mind you, I’m face down on a table and only able to see people’s feet.  D. Marten’s was to my right, Adidas was to my left, and Gucci was up near my head.  This is significant because this was the doc I saw drinking no less than three different huge cups of coffee while I waited.

I said to him “Oh God, you’re Coffee Doc.”  He laughed and shakily said he was still ok to do the work.  I begged him not to pith me by mistake, or at least make sure I was well sedated to dull the fear.  A bit of silence followed.

“Don’t mind me, doc,” I said, “I’m just whining.”

He said, “You wouldn’t believe the whining I hear.  You are not whining.”

“Oh, but I can,” I said, “let me try – I can really plumb my depths.”

He must have heard enough of my bullsh*t because pretty quickly the ice entered my veins.  I had enough time to say to myself “Ok, this time you’re going to stay awake and not let this stuff put you out.”  I think I was sort of aware the whole time but I was ten thousand miles away.

I recall Them saying “roll over” and the doc was gone (who was that amped man?).  I rolled over and yanked the hated oxygen cannula out of my nose.  The New and Improved Nurse Ratched put it back in and said to not touch it, slapping my hands twice to get me to stop.

Time moved in fits/starts.  Suddenly I was clothed.  Suddenly I was lying down again.  Suddenly I had a juice box in my hand.  Suddenly I was walking out.  Suddenly Cruel Wife handed me my Burger King double-whopper with cheese, onion rings, and a large Dr. Pepper.  Apparently I was very emphatic about that.  Events in between the suddenly checkpoints had faded into the mists.  It was fascinating to observe the fleeting nature of a culinary ephemera, even if it was an order from Burger King.

Now here I am again, in my comfy chair and writing for fun because it’s better than whining.

Don’t worry about me… I’ve never felt better.

No, not really.

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I think we should stop freaking out about Global Warming and start freaking out about lower O2 supplies in the oceans due to this unprecedented amout of ice in the ocean.

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/02/26/huge-icebergs-let-loose-antarcticas-coast/

This has got to be the first time it’s ever happened in 4 billion years and I’m sure it’s man-made.  Why else would icebergs collide with glaciers?

Oh yeah, and our oysters and things will be shell-less before long.  I’m sure of it.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111807469

Marine biologist Eric Pane had some breathless hyperventilating to do (you try that sometime and see how far you get):

“And at least a third of [the CO2] so far, has actually ended up in our oceans,” Pane says. “(That’s) sort of good and bad news because it has prevented more CO2 from accumulating in the atmosphere but it comes at a price. More CO2 in the ocean leads to it being acidified.”

So THAT’S why we’re not going through Thermogeddon right now!  We’re all going to die some other way.  Probably called “Oysters-Ain’t-Got-No-Shell-ageddon” or some such thing.

You catching this, cbullitt?

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I’m going to paste what I essentially wrote to my boss and a handful of co-workers to inform them that I’m working from home tomorrow:

If the headache/neckache I have right now is any indicator I’m going to be of more value if I don’t overdo it.  I swear they use pieces of corroded conduit hacksawed at an angle instead of needles.

The Dude drove me up to the office since Cruel Wife couldn’t make it down in time   For some reason they just don’t like you driving home after sedation.  Wimps.

Truth be told it is a very smart thing that they keep you from driving because as alert as you think you are, you’re still functioning with scrambled eggs for brains and an IQ of about 45.  You also have the reaction times and finesse of a pithed frog.

Now, I’m going to sign off before my head falls off.

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Here’s a picture that will give you the willies.  How many times was it found that such an invention would have saved a life?  How did they discover that such a device should have been used?

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Aqua-Velvet has enough interesting stuff I thought I’d also include this link to the interesting life/origins of the game Monopoly.

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Well, tomorrow is the day I’m both longing for and dreading.  Didn’t realize how much the RF treatment actually helps kill the headaches until the nerves decided to grow back.  So while the whole damn thing hurts considerably life does get better when the nerves die again.

I’m just glad that the sedative they give you keeps you from remembering it.  The one time I can recall anything from the procedure, it wasn’t fun.  I know, I’m a wuss… had a compound fracture of my arm once and my pain tolerance was high then.  Maybe it’s not now, maybe my body doesn’t tolerate this type of pain and it’s very real pain.  All I know is that it FEELS real and by golly if it sucks then it is what it is.

Here’s the Chillipository™ graphic – much reduced from it’s 4500×6000 original format (550MB graphic file).  Yes, Aggie I’m looking into how to sell it as a print, same for the steam condom.  And the ChiliHead graphic.  And the Silly Negroes graphic and the Cockroach Cutting Diagram (below) – those are trial balloons as I have no idea if they have any appeal at all.

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Just try and tell me this isn’t a cool tattoo…

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this is low-res...

Note that I am mocking Harry Reid and Obama only.

this is low-res...

Note that I am mocking cockroaches, which I have this strange fascination with…

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One more change tonight to age/distress the gears and add whatever tweaks someone would like to suggest.  But largely the Chillipository™ product advert is done.

Only a very stupid or very desperate person would want to use the Extra Strength Red Savina or Bhut Jolokia Formulations. They could also be used repeatedly on child abusers/molesters to ensure maximum agony.

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A co-worker, I shall call her “Xerox: Collator Princess” hereafter, sent me this definition out of the blue .  It could be that she is trying to send a message.  If only I could decipher the cryptic female mind.  Might as well flap my arms and fly to Jupiter for all the chance any man has of doing that.

Main Entry: sar·casm

Pronunciation: \ˈsär-ˌka-zəm\

Function: noun

Etymology: French or Late Latin; French sarcasme, from Late Latin sarcasmos, from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer, from sark-, sarx flesh; probably akin to Avestan thwarəs- to cut

Date: 1550

1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2 a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm

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Picking on a Down’s kid?  Jeez, that is terrible.  Even worse is posting a video of it, as if it were funny.  That shows zero empathy or remorse.  Lock the bullies up.

But locking up the Google execs because they can’t immediately check each and every video uploaded – for SIX MONTHS?

The entire E.U. is insane.

The complaint was brought by an Italian advocacy group for people with Down’s syndrome, Vivi Down, and the boy’s father.

I’d love to ask the plaintiffs what really can they hope to achieve when the end result could be to potentially shut down everyone’s video-sharing, much of it legit.

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Damn commies.  Only in California over on the Left Coast could this happen.

On the video, a man off camera can be heard saying: “I’m here for Ari David for Congress. Can we start this meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance?”

Hilarity ensues, most notably on behalf of an unidentified woman standing behind a lectern. Becerra, seated on stage, can be seen smiling and stifling his laughter as he bends slightly forward in his chair.

“No, I’m serious,” David’s staffer continues. “Congressman, shouldn’t we say the Pledge of Allegiance if we all want to be citizens? Wouldn’t that be appropriate to say the Pledge of Allegiance?”

“Sure, of course,” the woman on stage replies. “OK, let’s go for it — you lead.”

The pledge is then recited by everyone in the room, followed by raucous applause.

Yeah, I always thought the recitation of a pledge to be true to my country to be frickin’ hilarious, too.  Swearing into office requires an oath a bit more binding than that, right?  So technically he shouldn’t have a problem with the Pledge, right?  So why when he thinks he can get away with it does he mock it?

Because he only pretended in the first place -OR- is completely lacking in character.

David told Fox News he found Becerra’s reaction “completely inappropriate,” adding: “I was stunned as an American that one of our members of Congress would act that way.

Stunned?  Rightfully so!

Typical of attempts to re-write the record to cover up one’s deep abiding character flaws….

Becerra defended the reaction in a statement to Fox News, saying:

“On the morning of February 20th, I was invited to address some 500 people gathered to discuss the human tragedy of a broken immigration system and the need to fix it. At some point during that meeting, a political operative for a congressional campaign asked if we could recite the pledge of allegiance. The meeting was already under way and the question was unexpected. It took us all by surprise. When the speaker explained that he was serious and asked me specifically if we could say the pledge, I said yes and gestured to the moderator, who then led the entire gathering in reciting the pledge.”

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Edible Things.

I was with Cruel Wife eating Thai food this weekend.  Kids at sitters.  Us at dinner.  Wow.  Very strange.  We quickly agreed that once we removed my work and our kids from the conversation we had absolutely nothing to talk about and we were grateful when the food came – it gave us opportunity to -ahem- spice the conversation with “MMMPH!” and “MMM-MM!”  Occasionally punctuated with a <blerp>.  “Excuse me…”

As I mentioned a few posts ago, she had 3 stars for a heat setting.  I asked for 12 stars, effectively pulling all the safety interlocks out of the system as I ran without a guard-rail on greasy wood around a 20 foot drop over razor-sharp metal chips and broken glass stewing in a bath of hot turpentine.  It led to the graphic I’m working on now.  Rather, that kind of hedonistic abandon led to this graphic.

Helpful input is always welcome!

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Again, thanks to Amusing Bunni who had another gorgeous kitteh pic.

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CONFIDENCE LOWEST SINCE ’83

The White House has been quick to lay the blame for the latest surge downward squarely on Bush’s shoulders:

Even now, the fruits of my predecessor’s labors are being harvested – let me be clear, if it wasn’t for Bush’s ineptitude we would not be in this situation, and indeed, we would be in a time of milk and honey, peace and prosperity, and gold, diamonds, and unicorns.  (as read by Robert Gibbs, standing in for the TOTUS)

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Disclaimer:  I am categorically (some would say rabidly) against domestic abuse, so don’t go there.

This sounds an AWFUL lot like another “It’s for the children” argument.  Reid talking about how joblessness has led to out of control domestic abuse by men.

Reid, speaking in the midst of a Senate debate over whether to pass a $15 billion package meant to spur job creation, appeared to argue that joblessness would lead to more domestic violence.

“I met with some people while I was home dealing with domestic abuse. It has gotten out of hand,” Reid said on the Senate floor. “Why? Men don’t have jobs.”

Reid said that the effects of joblessness on domestic violence were especially pronounced among men, because, Reid said, women tend to be less abusive.

Reid should have visited a bit more often 30 years ago.

How many anti-domestic causes has he taken over the years?  Is this the first one?  I’d like to know.

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