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Archive for February, 2010

Update…

Well, thanks for all the well-wishes.  You’re all great, really.

I’d love to say that I’m feeling great but true to the normal way these things go, they hurt worse before they hurt less.  Even with the pills I’m a-smartin’ today.  It’s just easier to care about it less, is all.

Ah well, this too shall pass.

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Here’s a little something that just came to me, S.T. Coleridge style.

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I am speechless.  Seriously I’m at a loss to understand what she’s using for brains.  The idiocy implied in her utterances is bottomless-pit deep.  If I were a Democrat I’d be ashamed of the Speaker.

Pelosi: GOP has had its day; confident Dems can pull together on health bill

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said Sunday that Republicans have left their mark on the healthcare bill and should accept that the bill will go forward.

“They’ve had plenty of opportunity to make their voices heard,” she said on CNN’s “State of the Union” Sunday morning. “Bipartisanship is a two-way street. A bill can be bipartisan without bipartisan votes. Republicans have left their imprint.”  - Kim Hart and Jordan Fabian

I do believe that a remark like that should be noted, along with the deafening silence on the part of Democrats in the wake of the utterance.  Then, at a later date this remark and its complete lack of outrage on the part of the majority should be brought out and shared like a quality red wine or scotch.

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Update #1:

Many of you may die horribly, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi urged her colleagues to back a major overhaul of U.S. health care even if it threatens their political careers, a call to arms that underscores the issue’s massive role in this election year.

What she should do is to promise to step down if even one demo loses his or her seat.  That’d show me her resolve.  Anything else is pure bitchery.

Update #2:

Just like another freak unpredicted snowstorm, along comes the high prophet Gore to whip the disillusioned back into fighting shape.  Thanks  to the NYT for providing the stage.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/opinion/28gore.html

I, for one, genuinely wish that the climate crisis were an illusion. But unfortunately, the reality of the danger we are courting has not been changed by the discovery of at least two mistakes in the thousands of pages of careful scientific work over the last 22 years by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. In fact, the crisis is still growing because we are continuing to dump 90 million tons of global-warming pollution every 24 hours into the atmosphere — as if it were an open sewer.

Look up “egregious”.

But the scientific enterprise will never be completely free of mistakes. What is important is that the overwhelming consensus on global warming remains unchanged. It is also worth noting that the panel’s scientists — acting in good faith on the best information then available to them — probably underestimated the range of sea-level rise in this century, the speed with which the Arctic ice cap is disappearing and the speed with which some of the large glacial flows in Antarctica and Greenland are melting and racing to the sea.

This is exactly the opposite of what we have observed.  Does he expect that all he has to do is open his mouth and people believe?

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Something is really truly and scarily wrong.

A majority of Americans think the federal government poses a threat to rights of Americans, according to a new national poll.

Fifty-six percent of people questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation survey released Friday say they think the federal government’s become so large and powerful that it poses an immediate threat to the rights and freedoms of ordinary citizens. Forty-four percent of those polled disagree.

You IDIOTS.  You are supposed to think this!  You were never supposed to stop thinking it.  That’s why the Founders wrote the Constitution and Bill of Rights as they did.

Government has ALWAY represented a threat to your rights and freedoms.  That was recognized two hundred plus years ago.

God, when did IQ’s drop precipitously?

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Speaking of unsafe governments

Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said Friday that President Barack Obama’s historic health care drive was closer to passage after a high-stakes summit with Republicans opposed to the overhaul.

As Democrats wrestled with how best to push the ambitious legislation forward, Pelosi said the unusual seven-hour talks on Thursday “made a difference, and it moved us closer to passing a bill.”

“We are determined that we are going to pass health-care reform,” said the speaker.

C.L. Gray, M.D. had a fantastic observation…

Given that President Obama’s plan has held on to the support of only one in four Americans, why did he begin the summit by refusing to honor Senator Alexander’s request to take reconciliation off the table? In effect, within the first few minutes, the president essentially told Republicans they must either agree with his plan, or he would ram current legislation through the Senate with 51 votes. The chance to start over with a clean sheet of paper and build on areas of agreement—the entire concept of a summit—was never a real possibility.

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There is a hugely clear link between sunscreen and cancer – 90-something percent of people who have cancer have used sunscreen at one point or another in their lives.  With that kind of correlation, what’s to debat?  So if you do a bit of thinking, it’s obvious that man’s pollution leads to global warming which leads to more sunscreen use which will then kill us.  Sunscreen is bad.

You’re probably thinking – “Oh LK’s on drugs again.”  And you’d be right, but I didn’t make this up.  These people really are full members of the culture that pisses themselves at the sight of their own shadow.

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I am not making this up.

CLIMATE scientists yesterday stunned Britons suffering the coldest winter for 30 years by claiming last month was the ­hottest January the world has ever seen.

The remarkable claim, based on global satellite data, follows Arctic temperatures that brought snow, ice and travel chaos to millions in the UK.

As usual, if there is error, it will be biased towards whichever side will result in the most research dollars flowing back to the scientists holding their hands out.

At the height of the big freeze, the entire country was blanketed in snow. But Australian weather expert Professor Neville Nicholls, of Monash University in Melbourne, said yesterday: “January, according to satellite data, was the hottest January we’ve ever seen.

“Last November was the hottest November we’ve ever seen. November-January as a whole is the hottest November-January the world has seen.” Veteran ­climatologist Professor Nicholls was speaking at an online climate change briefing, added: “It’s not warming the same everywhere but it is really quite challenging to find places that haven’t warmed in the past 50 years.”

Not so challenging when the data is weighted and homogenized, you twit.

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Taliban killing themselves as they plant IED’s.  Aw, too bad.

Up to 20 are thought to have died planting Improvised Explosive Devices.

They were racing to plant the IEDs before the Allied offensive Operation Moshtarak. The triggers on the IEDs have become so sensitive the terrorists are accidentally detonating them as they hide them.

Doesn’t that just break your heart?

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The Dude (AKA “Wilson” to my “House” at work) drove me to the doctor’s office yesterday.

There’s paperwork that you fill out every single time you darken their doorway and I wish they would  just print the info that never changes – name, referring doc’s name, DOB, “do you lust after flightless waterfowl”, etc., etc.  They do give you a crayon and let you color on a little picture of a person where it hurts.  I like to fill it all in and say “You’re the doctor, you tell me.”

They took me back and the place looked deserted, with only the distant roar of the surf and a gentle breeze.  In reality it was as if it were one of those puzzle pictures you get as a kid:  “How many indians can you spot?”   You look and you look and after a while you realize that there were really no less than seven thousand and three indians in that picture.

As soon as I was shown to my concrete-and-gravel gurney and I had changed into my neutered thneed which only covers one body part at a time, I started seeing more signs of life.  I stretched out on the C&G gurney and pulled out my project notebook.  Five minutes later they put an IV in my right hand, and so writing was impossible.

As if by cue it was suddenly as noisy as a Thai fish market in there.  One or two beds down in this vast “sick ward” style room was a woman sobbing and every fifteen or twenty seconds would gasp out something like “ooooooooohhhh-HOOOOO-oooo” She was in a lot of pain and not 20 feet away were nurses joking and laughing.  I think someone might have been tending to this lady at the same time but it wasn’t relaxing.

I kept smelling smells.  I don’t want to describe them.

On the other side of me was what sounded like a 372 year old lady who apparently had not one single vein in her body that could be tapped.  What veins were there were described by the doc as being crazy-quilted like broken safety glass.  They brought in people who were good with IV’s – a second floor nurse, the doctor who did my neck, my regular doc’s PA, one of the detoxing heroin junkies, a secretary, and I was even in line to give it a stab when a nurse rode up on her steed,  all decked out in glowing white and a ten gallon hat.  As skillfully as an ancient vampire she tapped that venerable grandmother and rode off to the cheers and adulation of nurses, doctors, and patients alike.

The woman on my right continued to sob but now her sobs had this fluffy happy puppy sound to them.  This probably meant that they had finally waited the minimum 45 minutes “to see if she was faking” and then went and gave her a nice dose of Dilaudid, Demerol, or morphine.

I walked in there with a 5 on the 0-10 pain scale when I moved wrong and it was starting to ping me pretty good while doing nothing after having sat there for over an hour (on that concrete-gravel-chicken-wire bed, mind you).

A nurse came by on the other side of the sheet where Madam Methuselah was and said “Are you a patient woman?”  (‘Yes’, croaked Madam M.)  The nurse sidesteps into my booth, then looks at me and says “Are you a patient man?”  I said “‘Man’ is questionable but I think I’m patient.”  This behavior on the part of the nurse is known as a ‘harbinger’.

Pretty soon they wheel Madam Methuselah out towards her treatment and she’s what, maybe in her mid-50′s.  Rough life or something.  Chronic pain ages you roughly 3 for 1, in my honest opinion so it’s anybody’s guess – she could have been 23 for all I know.

Make note of it – “Are you a patient ______?”  Means “Will you become a total assh*le if this takes another hour?”   All the nurse would say was that there was “an emergency”.

The moaner was now giggling and moaning so I asked the nurse if I could have what she was having.  The nurse gave me The Look and said “Behave.”   Over at the giggler’s booth here was lots of talk about her drinking lots of water and getting an appointment with bark bark-bark bark bark bark and to make sure she asked the specialist about mreow mreowww mreowww. She especially should mooooo-moo  MOO moooooo. Then the nurses cleared the animals out of the staging area but it was too late, I missed all the juicy details.

A full two hours had gone by.  I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since 7pm the night before and it was now 3pm.  Even so, one’s kidneys don’t shut down – they keep pumping out pee – it is just what they do.  So I ask the nurse if I can hit the head and she unhooks my IV bag and thrusts it in my arms, and says “Go.”

On the way, another nurse says “Where are you going?  You’re next.”  Old Nurse Ratched walks over to us and says “He needs to use the restroom.”

They must trade personalities like a hive consciousness because now the new nurse becomes the New and Improved Nurse Ratched and says “Go.  I don’t want to clean up your mess in there.”   At this point I’m thinking in a petulant tone, “Well, what if I want you to clean it up?”

So they let me go anyway and I hurriedly get rid of two of the last three gallons of liquid in my entire body.  You could have struck a match on my forehead, I was so dry.

I race back… No, I didn’t race… I shuffled back as fast as I could because by now my neck was locking up pretty fast.  I got to walk into the procedure room under my own power with my bag under my arm.  Odd because they don’t usually let you retain your dignity while you’re walking through a common sick room with a theed baring your ass to the world.  But, retain my dignity I did.

Then They:   Threw me on the table, crammed a cannula up my nose, hung up my bag, tore open my thneed, poured a gallon of icy-cold betadine on my neck and back, slapped a cryogenic cathode on top of my parched and now-dying kidneys, and slammed the door open just in time for the doctor to come prancing in.  This was all done like a NASCAR pit stop.

Mind you, I’m face down on a table and only able to see people’s feet.  D. Marten’s was to my right, Adidas was to my left, and Gucci was up near my head.  This is significant because this was the doc I saw drinking no less than three different huge cups of coffee while I waited.

I said to him “Oh God, you’re Coffee Doc.”  He laughed and shakily said he was still ok to do the work.  I begged him not to pith me by mistake, or at least make sure I was well sedated to dull the fear.  A bit of silence followed.

“Don’t mind me, doc,” I said, “I’m just whining.”

He said, “You wouldn’t believe the whining I hear.  You are not whining.”

“Oh, but I can,” I said, “let me try – I can really plumb my depths.”

He must have heard enough of my bullsh*t because pretty quickly the ice entered my veins.  I had enough time to say to myself “Ok, this time you’re going to stay awake and not let this stuff put you out.”  I think I was sort of aware the whole time but I was ten thousand miles away.

I recall Them saying “roll over” and the doc was gone (who was that amped man?).  I rolled over and yanked the hated oxygen cannula out of my nose.  The New and Improved Nurse Ratched put it back in and said to not touch it, slapping my hands twice to get me to stop.

Time moved in fits/starts.  Suddenly I was clothed.  Suddenly I was lying down again.  Suddenly I had a juice box in my hand.  Suddenly I was walking out.  Suddenly Cruel Wife handed me my Burger King double-whopper with cheese, onion rings, and a large Dr. Pepper.  Apparently I was very emphatic about that.  Events in between the suddenly checkpoints had faded into the mists.  It was fascinating to observe the fleeting nature of a culinary ephemera, even if it was an order from Burger King.

Now here I am again, in my comfy chair and writing for fun because it’s better than whining.

Don’t worry about me… I’ve never felt better.

No, not really.

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I think we should stop freaking out about Global Warming and start freaking out about lower O2 supplies in the oceans due to this unprecedented amout of ice in the ocean.

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/02/26/huge-icebergs-let-loose-antarcticas-coast/

This has got to be the first time it’s ever happened in 4 billion years and I’m sure it’s man-made.  Why else would icebergs collide with glaciers?

Oh yeah, and our oysters and things will be shell-less before long.  I’m sure of it.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=111807469

Marine biologist Eric Pane had some breathless hyperventilating to do (you try that sometime and see how far you get):

“And at least a third of [the CO2] so far, has actually ended up in our oceans,” Pane says. “(That’s) sort of good and bad news because it has prevented more CO2 from accumulating in the atmosphere but it comes at a price. More CO2 in the ocean leads to it being acidified.”

So THAT’S why we’re not going through Thermogeddon right now!  We’re all going to die some other way.  Probably called “Oysters-Ain’t-Got-No-Shell-ageddon” or some such thing.

You catching this, cbullitt?

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I’m going to paste what I essentially wrote to my boss and a handful of co-workers to inform them that I’m working from home tomorrow:

If the headache/neckache I have right now is any indicator I’m going to be of more value if I don’t overdo it.  I swear they use pieces of corroded conduit hacksawed at an angle instead of needles.

The Dude drove me up to the office since Cruel Wife couldn’t make it down in time   For some reason they just don’t like you driving home after sedation.  Wimps.

Truth be told it is a very smart thing that they keep you from driving because as alert as you think you are, you’re still functioning with scrambled eggs for brains and an IQ of about 45.  You also have the reaction times and finesse of a pithed frog.

Now, I’m going to sign off before my head falls off.

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Here’s a picture that will give you the willies.  How many times was it found that such an invention would have saved a life?  How did they discover that such a device should have been used?

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Aqua-Velvet has enough interesting stuff I thought I’d also include this link to the interesting life/origins of the game Monopoly.

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Well, tomorrow is the day I’m both longing for and dreading.  Didn’t realize how much the RF treatment actually helps kill the headaches until the nerves decided to grow back.  So while the whole damn thing hurts considerably life does get better when the nerves die again.

I’m just glad that the sedative they give you keeps you from remembering it.  The one time I can recall anything from the procedure, it wasn’t fun.  I know, I’m a wuss… had a compound fracture of my arm once and my pain tolerance was high then.  Maybe it’s not now, maybe my body doesn’t tolerate this type of pain and it’s very real pain.  All I know is that it FEELS real and by golly if it sucks then it is what it is.

Here’s the Chillipository™ graphic – much reduced from it’s 4500×6000 original format (550MB graphic file).  Yes, Aggie I’m looking into how to sell it as a print, same for the steam condom.  And the ChiliHead graphic.  And the Silly Negroes graphic and the Cockroach Cutting Diagram (below) – those are trial balloons as I have no idea if they have any appeal at all.

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Just try and tell me this isn’t a cool tattoo…

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this is low-res...

Note that I am mocking Harry Reid and Obama only.

this is low-res...

Note that I am mocking cockroaches, which I have this strange fascination with…

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One more change tonight to age/distress the gears and add whatever tweaks someone would like to suggest.  But largely the Chillipository™ product advert is done.

Only a very stupid or very desperate person would want to use the Extra Strength Red Savina or Bhut Jolokia Formulations. They could also be used repeatedly on child abusers/molesters to ensure maximum agony.

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A co-worker, I shall call her “Xerox: Collator Princess” hereafter, sent me this definition out of the blue .  It could be that she is trying to send a message.  If only I could decipher the cryptic female mind.  Might as well flap my arms and fly to Jupiter for all the chance any man has of doing that.

Main Entry: sar·casm

Pronunciation: \ˈsär-ˌka-zəm\

Function: noun

Etymology: French or Late Latin; French sarcasme, from Late Latin sarcasmos, from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer, from sark-, sarx flesh; probably akin to Avestan thwarəs- to cut

Date: 1550

1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2 a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual b : the use or language of sarcasm

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Picking on a Down’s kid?  Jeez, that is terrible.  Even worse is posting a video of it, as if it were funny.  That shows zero empathy or remorse.  Lock the bullies up.

But locking up the Google execs because they can’t immediately check each and every video uploaded – for SIX MONTHS?

The entire E.U. is insane.

The complaint was brought by an Italian advocacy group for people with Down’s syndrome, Vivi Down, and the boy’s father.

I’d love to ask the plaintiffs what really can they hope to achieve when the end result could be to potentially shut down everyone’s video-sharing, much of it legit.

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Damn commies.  Only in California over on the Left Coast could this happen.

On the video, a man off camera can be heard saying: “I’m here for Ari David for Congress. Can we start this meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance?”

Hilarity ensues, most notably on behalf of an unidentified woman standing behind a lectern. Becerra, seated on stage, can be seen smiling and stifling his laughter as he bends slightly forward in his chair.

“No, I’m serious,” David’s staffer continues. “Congressman, shouldn’t we say the Pledge of Allegiance if we all want to be citizens? Wouldn’t that be appropriate to say the Pledge of Allegiance?”

“Sure, of course,” the woman on stage replies. “OK, let’s go for it — you lead.”

The pledge is then recited by everyone in the room, followed by raucous applause.

Yeah, I always thought the recitation of a pledge to be true to my country to be frickin’ hilarious, too.  Swearing into office requires an oath a bit more binding than that, right?  So technically he shouldn’t have a problem with the Pledge, right?  So why when he thinks he can get away with it does he mock it?

Because he only pretended in the first place -OR- is completely lacking in character.

David told Fox News he found Becerra’s reaction “completely inappropriate,” adding: “I was stunned as an American that one of our members of Congress would act that way.

Stunned?  Rightfully so!

Typical of attempts to re-write the record to cover up one’s deep abiding character flaws….

Becerra defended the reaction in a statement to Fox News, saying:

“On the morning of February 20th, I was invited to address some 500 people gathered to discuss the human tragedy of a broken immigration system and the need to fix it. At some point during that meeting, a political operative for a congressional campaign asked if we could recite the pledge of allegiance. The meeting was already under way and the question was unexpected. It took us all by surprise. When the speaker explained that he was serious and asked me specifically if we could say the pledge, I said yes and gestured to the moderator, who then led the entire gathering in reciting the pledge.”

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Edible Things.

I was with Cruel Wife eating Thai food this weekend.  Kids at sitters.  Us at dinner.  Wow.  Very strange.  We quickly agreed that once we removed my work and our kids from the conversation we had absolutely nothing to talk about and we were grateful when the food came – it gave us opportunity to -ahem- spice the conversation with “MMMPH!” and “MMM-MM!”  Occasionally punctuated with a <blerp>.  “Excuse me…”

As I mentioned a few posts ago, she had 3 stars for a heat setting.  I asked for 12 stars, effectively pulling all the safety interlocks out of the system as I ran without a guard-rail on greasy wood around a 20 foot drop over razor-sharp metal chips and broken glass stewing in a bath of hot turpentine.  It led to the graphic I’m working on now.  Rather, that kind of hedonistic abandon led to this graphic.

Helpful input is always welcome!

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Again, thanks to Amusing Bunni who had another gorgeous kitteh pic.

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CONFIDENCE LOWEST SINCE ’83

The White House has been quick to lay the blame for the latest surge downward squarely on Bush’s shoulders:

Even now, the fruits of my predecessor’s labors are being harvested – let me be clear, if it wasn’t for Bush’s ineptitude we would not be in this situation, and indeed, we would be in a time of milk and honey, peace and prosperity, and gold, diamonds, and unicorns.  (as read by Robert Gibbs, standing in for the TOTUS)

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Disclaimer:  I am categorically (some would say rabidly) against domestic abuse, so don’t go there.

This sounds an AWFUL lot like another “It’s for the children” argument.  Reid talking about how joblessness has led to out of control domestic abuse by men.

Reid, speaking in the midst of a Senate debate over whether to pass a $15 billion package meant to spur job creation, appeared to argue that joblessness would lead to more domestic violence.

“I met with some people while I was home dealing with domestic abuse. It has gotten out of hand,” Reid said on the Senate floor. “Why? Men don’t have jobs.”

Reid said that the effects of joblessness on domestic violence were especially pronounced among men, because, Reid said, women tend to be less abusive.

Reid should have visited a bit more often 30 years ago.

How many anti-domestic causes has he taken over the years?  Is this the first one?  I’d like to know.

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Global Warming is getting thick here in Michigan.

It’s only 8-9 inches.  But I hate this heavy wet snowy snow stuff.  I’m reduced to watching Cruel Wife run the snowblower – which REALLY gets under my skin.  It’s not right.  It’s like wimmen running a BBQ.

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Terrible thing to be born w/o a spine because you get egged on by your friends to go kick some old guy’s ass, and get yours whupped instead.  Terrible thing to be beset upon like that just because you threatened an old guy with bodily harm several times.  What’s this racist world coming to?  Can’t a brother just kick some cracker’s ass for sayin’ something he don’t like the sound of?

Note:  That was meant to be sarcastically mocking.

Guess not.  Thanks Gaius at the magicnegrowatch.blogspot.com for posting that (and for Amusing Bunni for bringing it to light).

Read Gaius’ mission statement:

I am not a Republican, I am a Conservative and I have this never ending nagging distrust of liberals, particularly white liberals. White liberals are a bunch of phony socially retarded trifling people who lack even the most basic form of common sense. My blog is my tiny little weapon against liberal nonsense and stupidity. If you find this blog offensive, then you are exactly the type of individual who needs to be reading it. If you have the guts to confront a black man who does not follow the liberal prescription for success in America by bitching and whining about how much the government should “care” then make your voice heard. It’s easy to visit and hang out on a blog where only people of one particular political persuasion congregate and where your narrow little myopic view is appreciated and accepted. If you are a liberal and particularly if you are white try and educate yourself to something other than what you were taught at some university by some idiot Birkenstock wearing professor. All black people don’t think alike I’m living proof. Contact me at negrovillesnoop@yahoo.com

I do so like a guy who isn’t afraid to be who the hell he wants to be!  And I am doubly happy that he goes out of his way to make the distinction between Republican and Conservative.  Well played, Sir, well played.

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We’ll do it in the spirit of bipartisanship unless you disagree with us in which case we’ll sink you.

In the course of unveiling Obama’s new health reform proposal on a conference call with reporters this morning, White House advisers made it clearer than ever before: If the GOP filibusters health reform, Dems will move forward on their own and pass it via reconciliation.

The assertion, which is likely to spark an angry response from GOP leaders, ups the stakes in advance of the summit by essentially daring Republicans to try to block reform.

“The President expects and believes the American people deserve an up or down vote on health reform,” White House communications director Dan Pfeiffer said on the call.  -   theplumline.whorunsgov.com

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My Materialism.

In response to Enas Yorl’s orgy of materialism – where he decided to blame me for his own sad actions, I might add; That is if I weren’t fully capable of taking the high road but I actually am and hence won’t add said commentary- I’ve decided to post things that I’d like to have and probably will have once I’ve saved some money.

Note:  I probably made no sense to begin with and then dug a deeper hole by embellishing the above paragraph, making it an unreadable mess.  Grammatically it is as if a seagull barfed three days worth of garbage on a white car hood.

Note #2:  Just giving you a hard time, Enas.

I love Japanese art and architecture.  Both pieces below are from ukiyo-e artist Utagawa Hiroshige (also known as Andō Hiroshige or Ichiyūsai Hiroshige)

Clear Weather After Snow at Kameyama - by Utagawa Hiroshige

What I find so appealing about Japanese art, in particular ukiyo-e, is the great range of detail using simple and well-placed lines, using woodcuts similar to intaglio multi-color print processes. (similar but different)

Eagle Flying over the Fukagama District - One Hundred Famous Views of Edo #107 - by Utagawa Hiroshige

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Cruel Wife, on the other hand, appears to want glow-in-the-dark fur for articles of clothing – or so I can only infer given that she sent me this link.

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Update:  Pornography of meat is defined, below.

Cruel wife and I went to celebrate Valentine’s day tonight.  It beats fighting the crowds.  It was sixteen years and two days ago when I asked her to marry me and she’s regretted it every day since.

We went to eat Thai food.  She got scallops/shrimp with cashew nuts, three stars out of four on the spiciness meter.  I got the Talay Thai (shrimp and roughy), with the heat pegged at 12 out of four stars.  They know me there and turn off all the safety features and just bring me what I ask for.

The waiter who delivered it was wincing/cringing.  His eyes were watering as he set my plate down.

To be fair, it was the second-hottest thing I’ve ever eaten.  My burps are corrosive enough to hurt my throat.  My guts are still in a state of upheaval.  Four hours later Cruel Wife kisses me and says “You’ve still got chilies on your lips – it burns!”  It physically hurt to eat it but I finished it.

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Damn it.  I got one friend recently diagnosed with cancer and another still in surgery hopefully to get out of there into the ICU soon.  Update:  Out of surgery and looks to be doing fairly well – at least as far as cell-phone pics go.

Do you have to win some kind of lottery to have two very close friends in dire straights in one week?  Geez.

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On my way here – I am doing a steampunk poster using chilies – I ran across a book title.  I’d like to not post what it is actually about but instead see what kinds of guesses you have.  Mine were sort of in the ball park but one planet over.

The Pornography Of Meat

Here you go…

The author of The Sexual Politics of Meat returns with an emotionally charged volume based on her traveling lecture-slide show. Adams, a crusader for the rights of women and animals (or, as she calls them, “nonhumans”) charges that both have long been portrayed as consumable, mouth-watering slabs of meat, and she provides graphic backup for her argument in the form of advertisements, signs, photographs and illustrations (e.g., “Strip Tease,” reads a billboard for a steak house).

Basically this is another nut who imagines that humans and animals are interchangeable and utterly equal across the board.

Women are more than just mouth-watering slabs of meat!  I give you some examples…

Excuse me while I find some napkins.  Anyway, did I clearly make my point?

You know how I know that the author’s PoM book is a pile of steaming crap?  Reviews like this one:

“Even readers who do not share Adams’s views should find themselves challenged and perhaps even enlightened by this unique work.” — Library Journal, May 15, 2003

Anytime someone says that a book will “challenge” me, it is a sure bet that it’s utter bullshit.  “Challenge” means that it’ll be a struggle not to toss it in the garbage or in the nearest wood-burning stove.

****

ps – if you want to use up 98 minutes of your life in a fruitless attempt at finding some new concept, deeper meaning, or a cheap thrill – do rent “Eden Log“.  That is 98 minutes that you will NEVER get back again.

I would rather suck the marrow out of my own living bones with a steel straw than subject myself to that again.

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Don't know the source but I like what it says.

Subtitled:  The Font of Youth

All right then… you know the cards I’ve posted a few nights now?

When I installed Windows 7 from my XP OS, somehow a few fonts got shredded.  I won’t name the guilty party but it was Microsoft.

To finish the cards with the same font, I would need to find it.  But there’s the rub – I could not remember the font name!  I had a bitmap example of what I was looking for, however:

So what did I do?  I searched and searched and searched some more.  Did you know that out of a million fonts online you will find that fully 999,993 of them are complete utter pieces of crap?  Sure the makers were well-intentioned but they were also completely lacking any talent whatsoever when it comes to making a font that has flow and balance.

I searched high and low:

dafont.com – betterfonts.com – simplythebest.com – 1001freefonts.com – eknp.com – topnotchporn.com – (just checking to see if you were reading this)

I have visually inspected literally tens of thousands of fonts.

No joy.  No luck.  Fail.  Epic Fail.  Painful bone-grinding failure.  Soul-wrenching spirit-mulching consciousness-rending failure.  Mind-numbing repetitive drone-work.

So we try a different tack when desperation kicks in, right?  This option was for me much like stopping to ask for directions.  But at some point you give up.

I went to WhatTheFont.  You upload a scan or bitmap of the text you do have letters for.  You verify that their OCR of the image resulted in the proper letters.  Then it comes back with a list of possible fonts.  It guessed the very first time the proper font – Calligraphic 421.    How about that?

Thing is, I know that font.  Know it well.  I’ve danced with that font, bought it dinner, had my way with that font, and used it mercilessly countless times in my graphics.  Could I recognize it on sight or name it?

Damn, I’m getting old.

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Tiger Woods has apologized to everyone but the garbage-collector and his dog.

But WHY?

No one was wronged in this besides his wife and family.  The mistresses don’t get to count – they knew he was married.

As for his marriage, he said: “Every one of these questions and answers is a matter between Elin and me, issues between a husband and wife.”

And so should your apologies.  The corporations which cancelled contracts with him, perhaps he should apologize for his conduct where it reflects badly on them.  But that is it.

No one else is entitled to an apology, an explanation, or even to know the facts.  He did nothing wrong besides to his wife.

And a big Boo-Hoo for the mistress/porn-actress:

Veronica Siwik-Daniels, one of Woods’ alleged mistresses and a former pornographic performer, watched the event with her attorney in a Los Angeles radio studio. She said she wants an apology for the unwanted attention the scandal has brought her.

“I really feel I deserve to look at him in person face to face in the eyes because I did not deserve this,” she said.

Ma’am, you cheated with a married man.  You are the last one to deserve an apology.  We should all live our lives such that if our actions were exposed to the light of day we’d have nothing to be ashamed of.  That you did not do, and it is your fault.

****

WTF?  PANDA porn???

At some point, shouldn’t animals be allowed to go extinct?  I’d think this was a pretty sure-fire sign.

****

Ah!  Home sweet home.  Sorta.   Maybe.  No, not really.

Man bulldozes home to keep bank from foreclosing on it.

Good for him.

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It will burrrrrnnnnn.

The trail went from Soylent Green to  Pajamas Media to Watt’s Up With That…

Several errors have been recently uncovered in the 4th Assessment Report (AR4) of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC). These include problems with Himalayan glaciers, African agriculture, Amazon rainforests, Dutch geography, and attribution of damages from extreme weather events. More seem to turn up daily. Most of these errors stem from the IPCC’s reliance on non-peer reviewed sources‘…  – Arctic Sea Ice Underestimated

Holy cow!  You mean they’ve relied on unvetted data?  No!?!  REALLY???

Who saw that coming, huh?

****

The doc’s assistant saw me this morning, heard where the neck/headaches were at and promptly informed me that in this case it’s too bad I am not an 80-year-old woman.

Plus I’m a fast healer.   Trust me, there are times when you do not want to be a fast healer.

Next thursday they will shove wires into my neck and pass a radiofrequency current through the tip of the wire, nicely cooking the nerve until it is of hard-boiled-egg consistency.

****

You gotta be pretty stupid to advocate eating cat while on the air.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/food_and_drink/article7029058.ece

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