Some sort of flu or cold or something. I know it involves 36+ hours of horrible cheek and brow pain (sinuses), lots of coughing (lungs, duh), and joint pain. Fever. Did I forget the fever?
Praying the family doesn’t get it. I went into this thinking “Yep, just gonna tough this out, I’ll be fine.”
Day 1: Can’t… stop… coughing… it’s like… I have… a… wet… kitten… in my lungs.
Day 2: Yep, it’s uncomfortable but that never stopped nobody, right? Just means I’m ALIVE. HA! Where’s that cold medicine? Whaddya mean I took some only an hour ago?
Day 3: Damn, no painkiller I have works on this face pain. (And I still have plenty of painkillers, none do a damn thing) Damn. And it hurts bad. And it doesn’t stop. Ow. *$(# me. 102F fever. Huh.
Day 4: (4:30am) Almost fell asleep, damn cat yowled just as I fell asleep. %&@(!@ cat. If it is so cold in here why are the sheets sticking to me?
Day 5: (today) You know how I said I was going to work tomorrow? Uh, about that… Hey, are solid clumps of blood supposed to come out your sinuses? Ew.
So maybe I had a mild case of Ebola. Who knows?
I do know that I can’t hear jack shit. Luckily I can read lips so if Cruel Wife wants me to understand all she has to do is get my attention and we can go from there. Seriously, there’s so much crap in my ears I can’t hear hardly anything. And my hearing sucked before…
I do know that after the last five years I hate doctors. When I can’t fight them off you can take me to see one.
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Oh yes… about the continued erosion of your rights. Michigan DNR invades farms, forces farmers to kill stock personally while they watch.
Seriously.
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Oh, about those toys you need… here they are. Greatest toy in the universe might be stretching it if you are a guy past the age of puberty and discovered girls but hell, this might even come third place. Six legged r/c robots.
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It’s not really paranoia if they are truly out to get you. You could be wrong, but what if you’re not? Door alarm!
What kid couldn’t have used this one growing up?
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If I had tried this excuse to get out of a ticket I’d have been nailed for being a smartass. proofofinnocence
Yeah, I don’t know if I would try that argument in your last item as proof that I didn’t run a stop sign. Like you, I would be either charged with being a smartass, or else charged with assaulting an officer. I personally know a couple of officers who are smartasses themselves, and they wouldn’t be above charging me with assault for sjubjecting them to that argument.
My brother is a cop and said he would gladly write me a ticket and show up to court any day of the week.
The MI farmers should sue for that infringement. THEY were not the criminals here.
Hope you get to feeling better!!!
Coughed hard enough to about retch, so that means I’m DEFINITELY alive. Corpses do not hack up their toenails.
Ugh, dude… you need some turpentine for gargling.
Turpentine, lysol, muriatic acid… whatever floats your boat.
YOUR boat.
I will have to spray Lysol on this here blog….
This is a bug that put my boss out of work for two weeks and has sent several other co-workers out for several days. I think I’m one of the lucky ones.
But yes, wash often, spray the links often, touch your face as little as possible, and I’ll do my part to stay over here on this side of the blog.
Would using napalm be prudent?
What about white phosphorous?
White phosphorous? You one of them racist types, missy? What you got against colored phosphorous?
Napalm. Might be overkill but then again, fire purifies.
Colored phosphorous comes with sensitivity instructions.
Let’s stick with napalm. I’m worried about phosphorous and cracked, peeling hands. It’s hard to keep them moisturized.
Yeah, it does play havoc with your manicure