Stay tuned…

My biz has an expession… “Dog and Pony Show”. It is where we stand up in front of people we want to make things for, and they shoot holes in our stuff, we roll with it and make it work out anyway, and if we’ve convinced them we aren’t freakish geeks with zero talent, then maybe, just maybe, they will let us build things for them.

One could be excused for saying “Oh, you’re techno-whores!” We’re not actually. Mostly. We do hard things that other people won’t do. And it is fun.

Today I was given a new name that I think I will run with… “Captain Sarcasm”!

(I will wear that title with pride)

So for the next two days I may be hip deep in dog and pony poo, but when we come up to breathe, I will have some fun things to point out in the engineering world – nothing to do with anything I am working on. Other way cool stuff.

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Nuggets and beyond

I am alone with HackerBoy this weekend while Cruel Wife and Lemurita attend a weekend-long training regimen at a paramilitary youth organization outing for young women.  The boy and I have eaten pizza rolls, onion rings, Taco Bell™ (no horse meat was available when I requested it and they did not see humor in it), McDonald’s™, and spring rolls – a whole bag.

We watched a bit of Batman Begins but Hackerboy grew bored and wanted to watch “The Secret World of Arrietty“, which I gotta say was well done even if cliche.  I guess he’s just not old enough to appreciate the buildup of Christian Bale in training with Ra’s Al Ghul and the subsequent return to Gotham to stomp on the Scarecrow’s smug pretty-boy face.

Too bad Bale seems like such an asshole in real life, but who among us hasn’t given a poor showing?  American Psycho was pretty well done, I thought.  And I gotta respect his drive to do what he sets his mind to do (The Machinist).  His ideals… not so much.  But I do admire determination.

h/t to alert co-worker/Farker Black Lab on Amphetamines.  Simultaneously hilarious yet nauseating.  It’s like Popplers™.   Enjoy, veeshir, this one is for you.

I immediately thought of Aggie Sith when I saw this.  Immediately.  Darth Necklace.

****

Adding this in as an update to this post – Man Insists Girlfriend Wears Celebrity Masks When Having Sex.

Now, you could assume that the guy is a creepy perv and doesn’t deserve her.  It could be that he’s not telling the whole truth and she’s either a sheep or she’s fantastically ugly.  It could be several other things entirely.

But the question you really have to ask yourself is why The Guardian is even putting this stuff out there.  No, I know they’re doing it for the ratings and the shock factor, that’s not at issue.  They’re putting it out there because readers are eating it up, and that says a lot of sad things.

Oh, and you should ask why she’s still with him regardless, unless she really is a sheep.

****

Opinions Mixed as State Takeover Looms in Detroit

Now, you would think that if you took white man out of the equation and let the black man do all the amazing shit he’s gonna do without the oppression faced every day, that perhaps Detroit could be a shining beacon on a hill.  No, it’s a bubbling busted open sewer line spraying fecal matter into the air for whole city blocks.  It’s corrupt and run by idiots.

“All of us agree that the city has serious financial challenges which must be addressed, however I fundamentally disagree with taking measures that disenfranchise the families I represent in Detroit,” Peters said, in a statement.

Manage?  Disenfranchise?  Personally I think they ought to level the city and start fresh.  It’s just that screwed up.

****

TSA says Hiring Freeze could Double Waits

Let’s be honest, okay?  We didn’t have TSA for the first 32 years of my life and we got along fine without being groped or yelled at or intimidated.

****

Well, I’d surely like to believe this is a legit story that went down the way they say it did and that it isn’t a glurge story.   If he DID walk ten miles in wintry snow to get a job, he needs to be cloned because we need more people like that.

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Safe. Ish.

Drones should make us feel safe.

• Gun laws to curb citizen’s semi-automatic “assault weapons”
• Ammunition shortages
• Path to citizenship
• Fully-automatic weapons for DHS for “personal defense”
• Purchase of billions of rounds of ammo for DHS
• Promise safety and goodies to those who live in cities and are swayed by things, not ideals
• Drones over the US.
• Presidential power for president to authorize strikes against US citizens.
• I expect to see the Universal ID card and control on gun powder soon.

Sure sounds to me like a government hell-bent on making sure they can beat a society back down if there is unrest.

I’m trying to figure out at which point I am supposed to feel safer.

****

As you know, women who are afraid of rape should not be trusted with guns.  Cruel Wife would like some words with this CO Rep. Salazar.

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Shooting like…

… a girl.  In one of the least proudest moments our president is shooting like a girl.

No, that’s an insult to girls.  Sorry girls.

He shoots like a beginner.

The President had stern warnings for anyone who would p-shop the image of him during one of his all-the-time gun-luvin’ outings.

“This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.”

I was shocked, SHOCKED when I saw the sacrilege against our Savior-in-Chief Obama over at Ace of Spades.  It was a travesty, I tell you.  See the travesty below?  He’s gonna try to shoot BUGS.  Bugs Bunny is an American icon… you can’t shoot Bugs.

The guy can’t even do a PR gun shoot properly.  He didn’t bother to learn where to place the butt of the gun, I highly doubt he got a clay target while at the horizontal, and his center of gravity is all wrong.  I’ve seen many many long-time shooters and this guy ain’t one of them.  So I’m kind of insulted when he claims to be a gun-lover.  No, really insulted.

See the original below.

****

An interesting side note.  G00gle is handling Breitbart as if it were a malicious website.  Yeah, Breitbart is about as suspicious as they come.

Clever.  What next?  The NRA website?  Iowahawk?  Hookers and Booze?

Think what an honor it would be for G00gle to care enough to try to shut you down.

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Happy Freakin’ New Year

If you haven’t been boycotting me you’ve probably wondered where the hell I got off to.

Christmas Eve day I started coming to grips with the fact that I was getting a cold.  I didn’t feel all that horrible though, and thought I was going to shrug it off.

Note:  That is known as “foreshadowing”.

By the end of Christmas Eve I was feeling pretty crappy with bloody sinuses and a sore throat that went all the way down.

By Christmas day I felt worse.

And for the rest of the week up until Saturday, I was worse.  All the colors of the rainbow came out of my lungs and sinuses.

Saturday I asked Cruel Wife to take me to urgent care since my inhaler wasn’t doing a damn bit of good.  They gave me a nebulizer treatment to help with my breathing and prescribed… a nebulizer.  Like I can find one of those at 5pm on a Saturday or Sunday.  But I felt a little better even if I did look like hell – serious dark circles under my eyes, pale, lethargic.  Oh, did I mention that I also have a case of pinkeye in both eyes?  Yes.  I’m not making that up.

Sunday night (last night), around 9pm:

“Uh, CW… I need you take me to the ER… NOW.”

I couldn’t get a breath that seemed like it was enough.  I was dizzy as hell.  And I felt just as sick or sicker than I did on Christmas Eve.

So, CW packaged up the kids and rushed me to the hospital where I was admitted for IV fluids, X-rays (which loosened some of the phlegm in my lungs), donated about 2 pints for blood work, etc.

They prescribed a nebulizer treatment on the spot and later came in to ask if the nebulizer was helping.  I said “Well, bad news is I’m still sick.  Good news is I don’t feel like dying quite as strongly.”

White blood count was up a bit so they gave me some antibiotics, finished off the IV drip, Rx for some Tylenol 3 so I can finally get some sleep w/o coughing non-stop, and some gunk that sure makes it easier to cough up the crap that has been nailing me.  When the nurse was describing what they were going to prescribe he got to the stuff that helps you clear your lungs out a bit better and I said “I will kiss your feet if that stuff works.”  Nearly had a tear in my eye.

So I got a nebulizer for home this morning and have been taking it easy.  Like I have any choice as to being active.

I haven’t been hit this hard by a flu/cold since the swine flu.  Geez.  I got three days of vacation and nine days of what was going to be the rest of my vacation knocked flat on my ass.  Wah-hoo.

Merry frickin’ New Year.  May it be a damn sight better than the last one.

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The Lazy Post.

I stopped at 12 hours (work).  I was fried by 8 but needed to do more.

And accomplished nothing of value in spite of all my efforts.  Damn.

So this is a lazy post mostly to let you know that I’m still alive and have not stepped in front of a bus.

Wildlife – a cougar in a tree.  (h/t to my dad’s friend Loose Screw)

Those Nat’l Geo photographers really know their stuff.

****

Last night I was trying to talk to the family and realized that although we were all in the same room we were none of us in the same room.  After I realized I was being totally ignored I started saying all manner of things to see if there was anyone out there, using the Elaine Method from Seinfeld.

• NASA called… I’m going to the moon.
• I am moving out of the house and going to live in sin with the dog three blocks over.
• Tomorrow I’m getting a turkey surgically grafted to my elbow.
• Geez, did you see the size of the elephant that just stomped on the cat?
• (dryly and calmly) Oh look guys!  We’re being attacked by rabid skunks.  Hold on to your butt.

I can see Hacker Boy spacing me out but Cruel Wife and Lemurita totally missing out on that was a low blow.

****

At work I found a giant permanent marker, about 1-1/2″ in diameter.  Stinks to high heaven and you know it has been uncapped even if you are 30 feet away.  I’ve taken to walking around with the cap cracked and pretending to sniff really deeply, remarking “Damn, was that ever a good week in markers.”

I even left it on the conference room table by my office with a note “Please try out our new line of fragranced markers.  First whiff is free.”

Last week was a granola bar on the table with a note that said “Help Washington and Colorado – we’re sending munchie boxes soon, please add snacks – they will need them.”  Not everyone got that one.

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Liberals should be worried.

I wonder if someone should alert NBC to the fact that it’s not 2008 still.

****

Here’s a reasonable illustration showing how some people need Fisher-Price voting blocks… (Thank you, NBC, for being consistently as stupid as the ‘voters’ that you champion.)

Tabitha Brown, 29, of Oregon, says she won’t vote because she finds her ballot too confusing. “I’m just a simple girl,” she said. “Dumb it down for us.”

In Buffalo, N.Y., Ryan King, 19, said he won’t vote because he doesn’t know if he’s registered. He mailed in a registration form, but no one replied, so he doesn’t know where to show up. Further south in the Bronx, Lala, a woman who is staying at a shelter, isn’t voting because she thought she needed a state ID, which she can’t afford. When she learned she didn’t need an ID, it was too late to register.

Seriously.  “Dumb it down for us” was uttered by a bottom-feeding cretin.  Rather than taking the totally passive “I’m simple” approach, why not try to learn and educate one’s self?  Too much effort, I suppose.

Don’t know where to show up to vote?  Why not go to a library or open up a phone book to find out?  Looking it up online has never been easier.  Call your local RNC/DNC headquarters and they would be tickled to help you – it’s only a phone call away.

Don’t know whether you need an ID?  Ask someone!  Or just sit back and let bad things happen because you lacked the impetus to move.

These are the “disenfranchised” voters you will hear about.  THESE are the people the liberals desperately want to get voting, because these are the people without the slightest semblance of anything more than a rudimentary limbic system and are most likely to vote for whoever promises them something free and with no regard to the use of personal common sense.

Let’s not go back to this:

****

Rush Limbaugh to be played by John Cusack.  Won’t that be a treat?  Maybe they can bring back Dan Aykroyd to reprise his role as the perpetually constipated Dick Cheney (War, Inc.).

Here’s my problem.  As an actor, in certain movies, I love John Cusack.  But the guy is such an inflamed asshole in real life, it saps much of the enjoyment I could get from his stuff.

****

And lastly, a headline from a few days ago:

Minorities In Poor Neighborhoods Less Likely To Receive CPR

Minorities who suffer heart attacks in poor neighborhoods are not nearly as likely to receive proper CPR compared to if they were to suffer from cardiac arrest in affluent white neighborhoods.

You may say “Lemur King, why are you talking about this?”

I’ll toss out two portions of that article:

A recent study from a group of medical researchers found that blacks and Hispanics are about 30 percent less likely to be aided by CPR than white people, with the odds being the worst when it involves a black victim in a low-income black neighborhood.

Blacks and hispanics are 30% less likely to be aided by CPR than whites.  Somehow if you are white you (again) have an advantage over a minority, is the implication.

Comilla Sasson, the study’s lead author from the University of Colorado in Denver, found that socio-economic status actually makes more of a difference in a person surviving than a neighborhood’s racial makeup.

If “socio-economic status actually makes more of a difference in a person surviving than a neighborhood’s racial makeup” why preface it with “blacks and hispanics are about 30% less likely to be aided by CPR than white people”?  Why not say “poor people are less likely to get aid”?

Yes, you can argue that blacks and hispanics are more likely to be poor so there is no contradiction here but it’s a matter of how you choose to talk about the results.  This is a study that was aimed and put in a spin cycle to make it sound like whites are all surviving just fine while blacks and hispanics are getting a short end of a stick through no fault of their own, and probably at the hands of whites.

Yes, Comilla Sasson is black, why do you ask?  More focus needs to be put on this:

…the odds being the worst when it involves a black victim in a low-income black neighborhood.

What should have been asked in the article was “Why are more blacks and hispanics unmotivated to learn CPR?  If they are learning CPR, why are they unmotivated to render assistance?”

What are the odds of surviving if you are a white in a black neighborhood or a black in a white neighborhood?

And whose fault is all of this?  What is the “fix” to the problem – throw more money somewhere?  If people haven’t been motivated before, what will make them motivated in the future if opportunities are provided?

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A Piece on Ass.

Note:  I have substituted letters and numbers in common words (you will know them when you see them) to kind of keep weird pervert people away from this blog through g000gl3 searches.  It may be pointless, but I’m going to try at least.  BE WARNED… the stuff below is not what we normal well-adjusted humans consider normal or well-adjusted.

All right.  I’ve thought about this extensively and after nearly 15 seconds I’ve decided to throw this up.  Maybe you will, too.

Australia, a place where more than a few things are upside down, has a thing known as the Melbourne Underground Film Festival (MUFF).  Yes, a film festival named MUFF.  [Insert_Socially_Insensitive_Joke_Here]

Strange things I can understand.  The reporter seems entirely too supportive of the subject material.  You be the judge.

Gey secks is more likely to offend standards of morality and decency than m3n having s3x with donk3ys, as far as Australia’s censors are concerned.

A film depicting s3x acts between m3n and donk3ys was screened at a Sydney film festival last week after an exemption from classification was granted to the festival by the Classification Board.     – theage.com.au

This is important to get established quickly:

Sayeth the Classification Board… (not I)

Gey secks = Bad

Donk3y Americas-Man Love Affair  (DAMLA) = Good

Zombie Love = Bad

Ok, that noted, let’s move on.  No, they did not opt to view the film, but I bet they wish they had made even a half-hearted attempt at going through the motions.

No film can be publicly screened in Australia without first being rated by the Classification Board, which may refuse a classification if it offends standards of morality and decency.

However, it may permit a festival to screen films that have not been rated.

In contrast, the Classification Board banned L.A. Zombie, which features a zombie character having homosecksual secks with dead bodies, from being screened at the Melbourne International Film Festival in 2010.

Again, zombie n3crophilia, which ordinarily seems to me to be merely a matter of dating within your own social strata if you yourself are a zombie, is somehow more offensive and less decent than some documentary backwoods hick frolicking in the nethers of a donk3y.  Because, as we all know, whatever the topic is, documentaries mean it is like OK, you know?

Note:  Based on 30 seconds of exhaustive research spurred on by second thoughts, begun with and ended with a Wikipedia search, I can absolutely say that L.A. Zombie is most definitely awful horrible space-time-rendingly “bad” in most every sense of the word.  It makes a gey pr0nographic mockery of all the societal good done by ZombieLand and Shaun of the Dead.  Not surprisingly it too premiered at film festivals in Switzerland and in Melbourne, Australia.  Surprise, surprise.

Donk3y Lov3, which purports to be a documentary about a tradition of Colombian men having secksual relations with donk3ys, won best documentary at the MUFF.

“I was very nervous about awarding it,” said Richard Wolstencroft, the director of MUFF.

“It’s a controversial film but [jury head] Gene [Gregorits] was very insistent it should win.”

One scene in Donk3y Lov3 shows the filmmakers laughing as they film a man committing acts of b3sti@lity on the side of a road.

Serious.  The “director of MUFF” was “nervous about awarding it” when clearly the filmmakers found it to be a humorous topic, as if we were talking about an embarrassing date.  Yet he still gave it an award.

I admit that I have personally drawn the conclusion that the reason that film jury head Gene Gregorits (mentioned above) was insistent that the film should win was because that was the only way he could keep the footage of himself giving a donk3y a spin on the cutting room floor.  I have no facts to base that conclusion on but for someone to insist that this film should win even a “Best Soundtrack Award” implies to me that he’s either seriously damaged goods or he is being blackmailed into doing it.  Both seem even more likely, but that’s just me drawing my own conclusions.  After some further thought, “Best Soundtrack Award” would be even more hideous, wouldn’t it?

The director of Donk3y Lov3, Daryl Stoneage, said the film had divided audiences but had not been banned overseas.

“You make half the room never want to talk to you again and the other half come up to you and tell you what a pair of balls you must have to make a film like this,” he said.

“I think when people actually see the film, they get desensitised to the act pretty fast and are able to watch a funny and informative documentary about a cultural practice that most people don’t know anything about.”

However, he said the whole film had made him feel uncomfortable.

Stoneage was unapologetic about treating the cultural practice of bestiality, which many people would find abhorrent, and illegal, with humour.

This goes to show you that these directors – and the people that sniff their own farts and watch these movies – aren’t really uncomfortable with much of anything other than not getting attention that they thrive upon.  Arguing that your film is ok because it “had not been banned overseas” is bordering on tipping over into a specious argument at best.

Still with me so far?  Last push and we’re done…

“I’m guessing those same people would have a hard time wrapping their heads around a country full of b3sti@lity,” he said.

“It’s too bad, there should be more funny documentaries.

“I know I think about that every time I watch the 20th documentary about 9/11 being an inside job or some documentary narrated by Leonardo DiCaprio or Matt Damon telling me what’s melting or that I should recycle more.”

“If you don’t think a country full of people having s3x with donk3ys is funny then maybe there’s something wrong with you.”

Guilty!  There must be something really wrong with me because the notion of a country full of people having secks with donk3ys is the very epitome of anti-funny.

Sorry, but I’m of the opinion that the director himself is little more than a closet donkey fluffer.

****

While we’re talking animals, because we did gerbils last night, we should mention rabbits, too.

This isn’t news unless you are younger the event was far before your time but it is still funny and worth remembering if you are considering the many ways in which Obama has surpassed his predecessor, Jimmy Carter.

I do go by now and then to read The Straight Dope.  Cecil, the genius behind the articles, is a dyed-in-the-wool liberal.  That doesn’t mean I don’t think he’s a great writer and funny as hell in spite of the fact that our politics are diametrically opposed.  He did an article on Carter and the Killer Rabbit.  The snippet should entice you to go read more of his stuff…

The rabbit incident happened on April 20 while Carter was taking a few days off in Plains, Georgia. He was fishing from a canoe in a pond when he spotted the fateful rabbit swimming toward him. It was never precisely determined what the rabbit’s problem was. Carter, always trying to look at things from the other guy’s point of view, later speculated that it was fleeing a predator. Whatever the case, it was definitely a troubled rabbit. “It was hissing menacingly, its teeth flashing and nostrils flared and making straight for the president,” a press account said.

The Secret Service having been caught flatfooted — I’ll grant you an amphibious rabbit assault is a tough thing to defend against — the president did what he could to protect himself. Initially it was reported that he’d hit the rabbit with his paddle. Realizing this wouldn’t play well with the Rabbit Lovers Guild, Carter later clarified that he’d merely splashed water at the rabbit, which then swam off toward shore. A White House photographer, ever alert to history’s pivotal moments, snapped a picture of the encounter for posterity.

See the common thread tonight?  Rabbit Lovers Guild?

No, there’s no connection but I love words and all possible combitweetions of them.

I think of Obama in a boat and then immediately erase the imagery so I can watch him on a bicycle again with a dorky looking helmet.   I had to reach into the recesses of my mind to remember where I personally first saw that pic – Moonbattery.com – when I saw Dave Blount’s posting.  Long after the act, thank you, Dave.

Given his handling of world events lately a helmet to protect his brain seems a bit like an amputee wearing steel-toed boots but hey, if you feel good doing it, who am I to judge?  If someone you love is considering voting for this guy just point them to this years-old picture and gently suggest that unlike fine wine, stupidity does not get better with age.

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He didn’t die, he just went home.

The Sith wanted a graphic, so a graphic she shall have…

****
I was on my way home tonight and stopped off in a neighboring town at a gas station where I’m a regular.

I got my 32 oz Red Bull™, some jerky, and an iced tea.  Iced tea is cheaper than water, did you know that?  Go figure.

I walked up to the cash register.  Cash Lady is a plain but amiable lady in her late 50′s.

Note:  To quote the great Dave Barry – I swear I am not making this up.

Me:  Howdy, Cash Lady.  You having a good evening?

Cash Lady:  Oh yes, fine, thanks.

Me:  I think that’ll be it for me – how much do I owe you?

Cash Lady:  That’ll be $7.31.

Me:  All right, here you go…

Cash Lady:  I have the next two days off.

Me:  Really?  I used to have Mondays and Tuesdays off.  It was nice because errands became much easier.

Cash Lady: (She hands me my money)  I suppose so.  I’m excited because I get to go see Elvis.

Me:  Beg pardon?

Cash Lady:  Yes, he’s going to do five shows over at the park and I’m going to see every one of them.

Me:  … … Uh. … … Elvis?

Cash Lady:  Yes, I’ve wanted to see him for years.

Note:  At this point, if she had reached under the counter to whip out a fresh harp seal and smacked me across the face with it I could not have been more surprised.  I was literally dumbstruck for a few moments.  I was lucky because I grasped for something to say and something was within reach – it’s one of those things that I store on one of my brain’s many shelves for just such an occasion – the occasions where nothing quite fits, like looking a Hallmark card that expresses “I’m sorry your stuffed cat got eaten by a giant rabid beaver”.

Me:  Yeah, I bet.  A lot of people say that.

Cash Lady:  I’m so excited.  I asked my boss for the time off and got it!

Me:  Well, ok, ma’am… well… have a good evening and enjoy The King.

Cash Lady:  Bye bye!

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WE HAVE WETURNED.

Arrived back home after ten days of funeral matters, family squabbles, memories, walks and fires on the beach, BBQ’s, birthday parties, good food, beds that are not our beds, etc.  And our cats got their humans back.  They are tickled beyond description.

We left Oregon at 11:30pm last night and arrived at 6:30am local time in good ol’ smelly Detriot.  I guess that clear Oregon air just ain’t for me.

More later – the family is just exhausted after that vacation.

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Making New Friends.

Had to drive to a nearby city – roughly 35 miles – for work today.  On the way I got nearly sideswiped but made some friends.  They waved at me as I honked, I waved at them.  The guy motioned me off to the side of the road so we could talk about current events.  I declined since I was in a hurry to meet with a vendor.  They first got in front of me to clear the way through traffic, then got behind me to make sure no one tailgated me, then got in front again, then in the rear – all the while keeping other cars away from mine on every side.

We traveled together clear on out to the halfway point and then he and his three buddies waved one last time as they pulled off the highway.  Sure is something to run into such friendly people now and then.

Hmmm.  I just considered, they might have been flipping me off, which would put a whole different spin on things.

And I may have inadvertently flipped them off, too.  That might have had an effect on the landscape, too.

****

Update:  Lemurita loved shooting the bow for the first time and managed to stick two knives perfectly in the knife-throwing part of the day.  Not bad at all for her first day.  Not bad at all.  Saturday was the perfect Father’s Day.

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Pre-Daddy Days

“Pre-Daddy Days” means “Before Father’s Day”.

A terrific Event happened tonight.  It was like Father’s Day came a few days early.

Lemurita is plagued with insomnia like I am.  She got up a half hour ago and came into the kitchen where Cruel Wife and I were talking about meeting up with Spaced Diode tomorrow for a BBQ.

Earlier in the evening I ran across CW’s throwing knives tucked into a hidey spot and also went and gathered up mine.

I asked CW if it would be ok to mention them to Lemurita and she said yes.

So I said “Lemurita, would you like to learn how to throw knives at Spaced Diode’s house tomorrow?”

As the idea of what I was saying dawned on her, her smile got wider… and wider… and wider… and her eyes glittered… and I knew, beyond even a smidgeon of a doubt, that Lemurita shared my genes and quite possibly Cruel Wife’s, too.

I have other toys of that nature that I brought out and demonstrated for her.  Picture a girl with a terribly wide, almost impossibly wide, foolish grin on her face while seeing her ambidextrous daddy flip knives around.  I basked in her delight.

She said “Would you feel it if you stabbed your arm?”

I looked at her with my most genuine look of confusion.

“Your arm – the one that is messed up.”

(poking myself hard in the arm multiple times with the knife I was holding)

“You mean like this?”

She took a step back, her eyes widening and said “Yeah.”

“No, not really.”

“How about if you cut it?”

“No, and I probably wouldn’t know if I burned it, either.”

“Whoa.”

“Well, the coolness of it really isn’t worth the price I paid…”

Indulge me in mentioning the Event.  It was different, it was fun, and I will cease to be a superdad in her eyes soon enough.

By the time I got her herded off to bed she managed to wheedle me into bringing my childhood longbow with us so she could begin learning archery as well.

I may be superdad in her eyes for a while yet, but she’s definitely my kryptonite and probably always will be except on the topics of dating and the merits of 10mm and .40 cal handguns over 9mm’s.

I growled at her “Be off with ye, foul worm, to bed!”

“G’night dad!”

****

Kids and wives… if you really really REALLY love your dad/husband, you will run right out and get the makings for this (adjust ingredients to his taste).  Somewhere after capping it you wrap it up in paper and foil and press the thing under roughly 30 tons of weights until it is nice and flat.  I think of it as being like a Cuban, only different.

I have no idea where it came from other than a much larger picture set was embedded in an e:mail to me today.  It looks awesome.

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We’re here to help save your shiat but would you swipe your card first, please?

When emergency crews respond to a car or building fire in Passaic, a bill might soon be sent out.  – cbslocal.com

Hmmm.  Yeah.  So it is “We’ll take your taxes so we can save your shiat, but if you actually need us we’re going to bill you for the cost of us having to roll for you.”

What, they penalize people for using services they paid for already?

When the Passaic City Council meets next Tuesday, Mayor Alex Blanco said what they will not decide to do is levy fees against people in car accidents or building owners whose structures catch fire.

What they will do is go after the insurance companies.

“If you are a policy owner, you are already paying for it — this fire department service charge provision,” the mayor told WCBS 880 reporter Levon Putney on Friday.

He said the fees would only be applied if claims are made, and no fees would be levied for those without insurance.

Does the Mayor just not get it?  If I’m a homeowner, I’m already paying for it by buying the firetrucks and paying the firemen’s salaries.

If you charge me for it on top of that and send it to my insurance saying I’m already paying for it, yes, and I’m going to pay again.  Three times in fact.

1. Insurance premium
2. Fire and emergency services
3. Insurance premium goes up as insurance companies up their rates

The reporters says “Of course, a concern is that insurance companies will simply jack up their premiums.”

Mayor B responds:

“I feel that it would be unethical on their part,” Blanco said.

What would you bet that the mayor is and is surrounded by a bunch of liberal morons?  An insurance company concerned about ethics?

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Reportedly, microbiologist Dr. Coypu as found a link between common bread mold and black mold.  It is said that environmental stresses caused by common substances such as disinfectant, cat urine, and proximity to regular rapid heating and cooling cycles all can contribute to the expression of genes in a common bread mold that turn it into the much deadlier organism (S. chlorohalonata), with potent toxins and extreme tenacity.

This already makes it more difficult for people to have and feed children in the high-mold periods of spring and fall and we were very surprised to see a correlation with cat urine and disinfectant.  Perhaps some combination – a domestic trifecta, if you will – is what is putting families with small children and pets at high risk.  We are working closely with the CDC and NIH for both funding and guidance.  This is serious.

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