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Archive for the ‘alternative medicine’ Category

Obamacare means never having to say “What can I do for you?”, it really means saying “What can I do for y’all?”

Imagine being grouped by symptoms – multiple patients, one doctor, all at once.

Could you end up with the Urination Discomfort Group – a Blonde Bimbo, a Soccer Mom, a Construction Worker, a Pregnant Cow, and a sweaty 475lb Wal-Mart transvestite greeter named Hubert all in the same room?

Imagine publicly working through the diagnoses:

  1. Take more breaks at work, you need to urinate more frequently
  2. Stop having an affair with different men every day and fill this prescription for an antibiotic
  3. Go to an Urgent Care to get the rivet taken out of your groin because the ER can’t take you with so many not-Amnesty folks
  4. The vet’s office is two floors up, and you know that, Bossie
  5. Hubert, the damp environment from your leather underwear has led to a UTI.  Again.

The LAST thing I want is to be grouped in with a Blonde.

Just wait until a burst appendix is elective outpatient surgery.  Then you’ll be sorry.

Apologies to the three-thousand seven-hundred and nineteen sweaty 475lb transvestite Wal-Mart greeters named Hubert that I have just mortally offended or embarrassed. 

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Deerzarus, come forth.

Just in time for Easter, too.

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Erik Ericson says on FoxNews in an op-ed piece about the autopsy of the RNC 2012 Election

What the autopsy misses out of the gate is that some times there is nothing that can be done. Bad election years are bad election years. Candidates like Josh Mandel were model candidates for the GOP who ran great races, but still lost. Some times it just happens.

“… some times there is nothing that can be done.  Bad election years are bad election years.”

The RNC at this point needs a DNR.  This is one patient that no one should expend heroic measures on.

We had McCain and then Romney.  McCain was at the time the lesser of evils but he has since fallen so far out of my favor that he’s never coming back.  Romney suffered from a serious case of Not-Great-ness.  Romney was like Breyer’s Vanilla Ice Cream.  Not bad but needed something to vault him into the realm of Greatness.  Unfortunately what we got was Vanilla Ice Cream and Beluga Caviar.  Beluga would have been better, Vanilla would have been ok, but Apple Pie and Vanilla Ice Cream just never left the pits.

The food metaphor went stale, then rancid, and rotted with that nasty slimy-pie and way-bad smell of spoiled milk products.  So sorry.

The talk is that the RNC needs to re-brand itself, stop being “Too white, too right, and too uptight”, and be more caring.  If I hear “re-branding” as a serious suggestion one more time someone is going to get a Super-Wedgie™.

Re-branding is bullshit.  Too white is ridiculous – it’s not about color.  We’ve got color in the White House and obviously that’s not the magic answer.  Uptight?  Ol’ Reservoir Tip has that covered, too.  Too right?   Nah.  Focus on that and you’re so far away from the correct answer that you’re not even wrong.

I know…

How about “Be a man”?  How about “Be a man of character”?  How about “Be the same man, no matter what the situation”?

Or woman.  Let’s not turn this into a gender thing.  Let’s keep this as an issue of being real vs. a creepy political silly-putty golem.

I think the Pope is the model of what is needed.

We need someone who is what they really are.  We need someone who isn’t apologizing for what they believe in because they don’t need to.  We need someone who wants something better, but that something better does not necessarily mean having that job as top dog.

You can analyze past presidents all you want.  You can look at the great failures and great successes and you can dice them up and analyze them to your heart’s content and miss what it’s really going to take.

Someone who cares, someone who has the capacity to lead, and their heart has to be bigger than their ego.  Haven’t seen that since 1981.

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Speaking of ego and fitness for leadership, Nevada’s Harry “Whorehouse” Reid can’t even wait for forensics to figure out what happened before blaming the Hawthorne Army Depot deaths on the sequester.  This isn’t news as much as my observation about a lack of respect.

Geez, Reid… I know you are a scumbag little weasel but have some courtesy – wait a little bit before using a tragedy for your own gain.

Of course the Democrats are well known for never letting something serious go to waste.****

CNN’s Foreign Int’l Correspondent Ben Wedeman:

“He hasn’t actually done much in the way of real policy changes of initiatives, and he certainly is the hope and change pope, but he’s at the head of a body, the Vatican, that’s very resistant to change”

The Hope and Change Pope?  I didn’t think you could get any more insulting than Harry Reid, but I guess I was wrong.

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New research seems to be telling researchers that sex is … oh just read it.

The study, from the University of Munster, Germany, suggests that instead of using a sore head as an excuse to refuse sex, making love can be more effective than taking painkillers.

What does this tell us?

It tells us that a significant number of people have absolutely no idea what a migraine is.

Until you’ve had one so bad that you asked that guns be hidden so you can’t end your own pain, you don’t know what a migraine is.  When you throw up or want to, it is a migraine.  When every minute lasts a lifetime, its a migraine.

I’ve mixed tylenol, ibuprofen, benadryl, and caffeine in max doses and gotten no relief.  I’ve even had times when opiates were an option and only had partial relief.

You cannot convince me that the “sex helps migraines” argument is anything more than a pretty lame attempt to get sex from a sufferer of regular headaches.

They suggested that sex triggered the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, through the central nervous system, which can in turn reduce, or even eliminate, a headache.

Yeah.  As a kid, I would walk up to a doorframe and slam my forehead into the frame because momentarily, and I mean like four or five seconds, there was a lessening of the pain.  And then it would come roaring back.  I have mashed my hand and nearly kneecapped myself with similar results. Sorry, not buying the endorphine crap.

Alternative medicine, to sort of take a line from a quote on SOYLENT’s blog – Alternative medicine is just that, an alternative to medicine.  And sometimes that just doesn’t work.

 

 

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This guy has been in the news off and on for a while, as have other death-row lifers, and he cannot be executed because there might be problems stemming from incompatibility between his corpulence and (gasp) needles.  Again, why do they not just say “tough tits” and why does this guy get reported on regularly with articles that are not heaping coals upon his head?

Ronald Post, who shot and killed a hotel clerk in northern Ohio almost 30 years ago, said his weight, vein access, scar tissue and other medical problems raise the likelihood his executioners would encounter severe problems. He’s also so big that the execution gurney might not hold him, lawyers for Post said in federal court papers filed Friday.

“Indeed, given his unique physical and medical condition there is a substantial risk that any attempt to execute him will result in serious physical and psychological pain to him, as well as an execution involving a torturous and lingering death,” the filing said.

Hold that thought:  They can’t lethal-injection him because there might be severe problems.
Post’s request for gastric bypass surgery has been denied…
But he’s willing to risk all that risk, physical pain, and psychological pain because he wants to live, so they can execute him when he’s in better health.

… he’s been encouraged not to walk because he’s at risk for falling…

Encouraged not to walk because he’s at risk… even though he’s just dying to lose some weight so they can execute him.
… and severe depression has contributed to his inability to limit how much he eats…
I blinked FIVE times when I read that one.  Uh… don’t shove as much food into his cell.  He’s in prison, on death row.
I can’t say as how I blame him for working the system to stay alive, but taxpayer dollars pay for the bullsh*t wrangling in the courts.
More pain-free than any other method – all the dead people I’ve talked to agree.    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_asphyxiation

Although execution by nitrogen asphyxiation was discussed briefly in print in 1995 (Creque), it is not used by any nation.

In a televised documentary in 2007,[2] the UK political commentator (and former Member of Parliament United Kingdom), Michael Portillo examined execution techniques in use around the world and found them unsatisfactory; his conclusion was that nitrogen asphyxiation would be the best method.

Your body doesn’t spaz because you’re dumping CO2 and it can’t tell that you’re not getting 02, so you just go to sleep, quietly.  That’s how I’d want to go.  We should ALL be so lucky.
He can go to his execution fat, happy, with a few painkillers in him, ride in on a wheelchair, have a smoke, and wait for the gas to do its job peacefully.

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Got a call from the sitter today.  My daughter had issues at both ends – projectile from one led to explosive reaction at the other.  That is as delicately as I can put it.

Cruel Wife was leaving work at that time anyway and said “Work the extra you need to work and then come home, I’ll deal with it.”

I came in the door and gagged.

Franken-Boy was playing on the Wii, oblivious.  Cruel Wife was in the laundry.  I gagged some more.

CW came up and saw my stomach was rolling and said “Go on, get out of here.”

I leaped at the chance to go to the local CVS to get Ritz™ crackers and some Sprite™ because they just plain stay down easier.  And I figured Girlhead might have an easier time of it, too.

Guess what?  I came back in the door and was exposed to it all over again.

That time I made it to the bathroom as the nausea swelled, but… nope.  Nothing.

I have a really sensitive nose – I’m the canary in the coal mine.  Years ago I went down the street to a buddy’s store and said “Dude, did something burn up today?”

“No.”

“Well, I’m smelling something hot.”

“Can’t smell a thing.”

“Well, I’m telling you something is not right.”

“Nope.  Nothing.”

The next day I came in and he said “Dude, we had a fire last night.  Lucky the place did not burn down.”  He then led me to the spot where a cord to one of the coolers had failed and resulted in a big black section of wall.

As I tell CW, “The nose knows.”

The smell is not getting better.  I’m not getting used to it.

So the question I have is this:

In general, are all men wussier than women when it comes to smells, or are men just by nature given more sensitive schnozzes, or am I a total wimp?

I’m pretty sure I’m a wimp, but I’m curious about the thoughts on the other parts of the question.

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I do work with this one machine shop all the time and have for the last 12 years or so.

So today my buddy Steel Nerves stopped by. He said a friend’s boy is autistic, too (like mine, but worse, as you’ll see). His buddy asked his son to go to the fridge and get a beer. The kid went and got it and just stood there in front of his dad as you can imagine a totally literal autistic kid would.

So the Dad says, “Don’t just stand there, throw that beer over here.”

Now, if you are the parent of an autistic kid you will understand exactly what I mean when I said my warning bells started to ring shrilly. I said “Oh, no, Steel Nerves… tell me he didn’t…”

Steel Nerves nods and says “Yup, kid hauls off and chucks that bottle as hard as he can and it hits his dad square in the center of the forehead – CRACK! He came around to tell me about it, sporting a HUGE lump dead-center of the forehead – black and blue, mostly black.”

I said “SHEEEIT, Steel Nerves! How old is the boy?”

“Sixteen. Knocked his Dad right the **** out,” and nods matter of factly.

Can you imagine how hard a sixteen year old could hurl a beer bottle at your forehead? Damn.

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When emergency crews respond to a car or building fire in Passaic, a bill might soon be sent out.  – cbslocal.com

Hmmm.  Yeah.  So it is “We’ll take your taxes so we can save your shiat, but if you actually need us we’re going to bill you for the cost of us having to roll for you.”

What, they penalize people for using services they paid for already?

When the Passaic City Council meets next Tuesday, Mayor Alex Blanco said what they will not decide to do is levy fees against people in car accidents or building owners whose structures catch fire.

What they will do is go after the insurance companies.

If you are a policy owner, you are already paying for it — this fire department service charge provision,” the mayor told WCBS 880 reporter Levon Putney on Friday.

He said the fees would only be applied if claims are made, and no fees would be levied for those without insurance.

Does the Mayor just not get it?  If I’m a homeowner, I’m already paying for it by buying the firetrucks and paying the firemen’s salaries.

If you charge me for it on top of that and send it to my insurance saying I’m already paying for it, yes, and I’m going to pay again.  Three times in fact.

  1. Insurance premium
  2. Fire and emergency services
  3. Insurance premium goes up as insurance companies up their rates

The reporters says “Of course, a concern is that insurance companies will simply jack up their premiums.”

Mayor B responds:

“I feel that it would be unethical on their part,” Blanco said.

What would you bet that the mayor is and is surrounded by a bunch of liberal morons?  An insurance company concerned about ethics?

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Reportedly, microbiologist Dr. Coypu as found a link between common bread mold and black mold.  It is said that environmental stresses caused by common substances such as disinfectant, cat urine, and proximity to regular rapid heating and cooling cycles all can contribute to the expression of genes in a common bread mold that turn it into the much deadlier organism (S. chlorohalonata), with potent toxins and extreme tenacity.

This already makes it more difficult for people to have and feed children in the high-mold periods of spring and fall and we were very surprised to see a correlation with cat urine and disinfectant.  Perhaps some combination – a domestic trifecta, if you will – is what is putting families with small children and pets at high risk.  We are working closely with the CDC and NIH for both funding and guidance.  This is serious.

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