Soy Sauce and ridiculous Charges of Minion Murdurousness

I seem to be taking some heat over at doubleplusundead – above and beyond this life-crippling boycott levied against me.

Apparently two minion lemurs (short tailed, unkempt) were freed from their enforced incarceration by a strange individual with bolt cutters.  Since these were minion lemurs and not of higher breeding – uneducated, unwashed, undisciplined – they followed their baser natures and got involved with incidents involving the law.

One of them (Leonard “Ratface” Lemur) was in a tree when officers arrived on the scene and came quietly.  The other accosted a 2 year old, leaving her face scratched.  Leo Langton Lemur will not be officially punished with jail time but may have an unfortunate accident sometime in the future involving a wood chipper or a cement truck.

Point to be made is that I have no control over these minions – only Maurice held the real power associated with my figurehead and he is vacationing in St. Petersberg.  These new minions do not even pay dues to enhance their legal defense fund.   I wash my hands of them and dismiss them with a double flick of the tail.

****

Soy Sauce.

Ok, I was thinking… When was the last time any of us men said to the wife “Woman, I am going to a movie with the guys” and then went to see “John Dies at the End”?

It is due out on the 24/25th last time I heard.  Rumor is that Mitchell has seen it and now is a follower of Korrok

Read the book in early 2012 and I can say it is like the strange offspring of a ménage between Phantasm, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Apocalypse Now if AN had been more than simply a dark comedy.

The story centers around a guy who investigates the paranormal after he has been exposed to Soy Sauce, a really bad soy-sauce-like hallucinogenic.  Sort of.  Or maybe it is part love story where one partner is wired a bit funny and has a prosthetic limb.  Or a story about monsters made of deli meats.

Oh just go look it up. Fair warning – - – John dies at the end, just like it says.  It is probably also extremely violent, gross, and a chunk of your life you’ll never get back again.

The preview might not be particularly good for kids.

      http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=my9Pr-W92SM

It’s got a 67% on Rotten Tomatoes which isn’t too bad.  Considering that it is firmly in “Bubba-Ho-Tep” cult movie territory it’s really quite good.  I’m trying to get a bunch of friends to ditch their wives to go see it.

Mitchell must write a review on it.

Read Full Post »

Campbell.

Bubba-Ho-Tep.  The Man with the Screaming Brain.  Alien Invasion.  Burn Notice.  Evil Dead (1, 2, and 3 – AKA “Army of Darkness“).  My Name is Bruce.  And many others.

It doesn’t matter what the genre, I have liked pretty nearly every damn thing Bruce Campbell has done.  He really gained my respect when he had “Bruce” shot on his property in southern Oregon.  And they built a town there to film the movie.  He’s one of a few actors I’d find it a real pleasure to meet because he has no problem mocking himself.

And now, Briscoe County, Junior.  Somehow I missed it in the craziness of the 90′s.

I managed to pick up a copy for dirt cheap.  199o’s western-ey, sciencey, steampunk-ey… but classic Bruce Campbell.  If you like him and haven’t seen it, do so.

Problem is… teensy problem but still real…

I rely heavily on closed-captions.  The DVD set does not have closed captions.  In english, anyhow.

So I am making do by having the French subtitles turned on and translating on the fly – how is that for peculiar in the US, hmmm?  This works pretty well but it is a real bitch when something doesn’t translate well, or when the sentence structure is totally rearranged, or I have no freakin’ clue what the word evenis.  But on the other hand, there are moments when it’s actually funnier in french.  Such as when one character is referring to this chick’s ass, coming across the word “haunch” just cracks me up.  Why?  Just the word.  Say it over and over again while picturing a well-formed tush and leg and it just sounds funny.

Oh hell, if you don’t already see the humor in it, I’m never going to convince you.

At least the subtitles aren’t in German.

****

I don’t know many (straight) men that don’t like a good hooter, but there’s just something wrong with the folks at Time Rag-azine.  Yes, breast-feeding is a perfectly normal healthy thing to do and it’s even good for infants, too.

But 6-7 year olds?  Christ on a crutch, people.  I don’t think that’s photoshopped.  I think that kid really is latched on to that teat.  And he’s probably messed up for life.  If you’re old enough to ask for it by name you should be cut off until you’re of dating age.

Read Full Post »