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My first sight when I got home.

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Heaping teaspoon of saccharine, anyone?

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Lemurita and I have started watching Fringe. A week or so ago we watched Blade Runner (sorry, Mitchell).

Co-worker Prime Number and I are in a race to the bottom with our same-age daughters, where we both let them watch fairly intense stuff with the shared understanding that it allows us to discuss real-world heavy shit with them before the real world gets its claws into them and fills their heads with nonsense.

He watches stuff with his daughters that I would not and vice-versa, but it sort of evens out. He selected Jaws last weekend.

I cannot get Lemurita to watch the Weeping Angels.
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I would say something political but I am disgusted by the leftist NPR and conservative bitch-radio both. Conservative outfits can only bitch, not offer solutions. Liberal outfits can only deny reality.

Neither is blowing up my skirt.

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Today, my liberal coworker, MaoMao (who carries a photo of Mao in his wallet) darkened my doorway, needing input for the packaging and shipping end of [The_Presure_Cooker_Project].

Being emphatic about the importance of my input, he says “I need attention.”

“Super-strong feminine side, eh, MaoMao?”

“No, just liberal.”

“Is there a difference?”

We’ll start with ugly. This what I think Hell must sound like. Real crazy people shrieking and destroying an abandoned factory as therapy.

Ugly but funny is this item sent to me by Laconic Pup…

 

darkHaving a creeper not too long ago sneak into my house through an open door and blow up the center of my room – and every chest, furnace, and workbench – this one kind of hits home.  Damn creepers.

Now, simply the bad. Portsmouth Sinfonia.

What is interesting is not the music, although it made me laugh like a loon. What is interesting is the brain can tell you every single wrong note, which argues for even music being stored as a series of metaphors.

The good. Hmmm.

I am really not sure what this thing is but it makes me smile and makes me uneasy at the same time.

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Well go read some Real Science. Ought to cheer you up.

Or this.

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Today, the USPTO denied the Redskins their trademark on grounds that it was illegally insensitive and hurt some injun’s feelings somewhere.

Yes, in Colbert fashion I meant to illustrate the ridiculousness of the situation. (See “Sing-Song Chin-Chong” in any web search involving Colbert)

I ask you this: How many pro teams intentionally name their team and go by something meant disparagingly?

Do they have team names like:

Closet Wankers
Dripping Chihuahuas
Cone-Heads
Pocket Trouts
Thundering Manatees

No, they do not. You know why… Because they want to sound noble or fierce or they want to be proud of their mascot. They don’t pick disparaging terms, they just don’t.

So why do we give any attention to a bunch of wanks who say they are offended? To be denied a trademark, someone has to show damages.

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Hey hey hey… Obama doesn’t need to ask Congressional approval in Iraq because, as his cheerleader San Fran Nan says, the authorities are already in place.

Pelosi told reporters that she agreed that the president has all of the authorities that he needs in the authorizations to use military force passed by Congress previously.

“All of the authorities are there. That doesn’t mean I want all of them to be used, especially boots on the ground,” she said. “But I definitely think the president has all of the authority he needs by dint of legislation that was passed in 2001 and 2003.”

She appeared to be referring to the authorizations to use military force passed after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks and the 2002 authorization to use force in Iraq. Neither of those authorizations have expired, although the official White House position is that the Iraq authorization should be repealed.

Oh, the same authorities granted based on what the dems have called Bush/Cheney lies to invade Iraq for oil? THOSE authorities?

Let’s do the time warp again.

Anyway…

A senior Democratic aide briefed on the meeting disputed McConnell’s characterization of Obama’s remarks. “Whether intentionally or not, Senator McConnell’s comments mischaracterize the tone and the substance of the meeting. The President was very clear that he would keep Congress in the loop.”

Similar to Obama’s most transparent administration ever? Yeah.

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From the “Almost the Most Useless Information Ever” Depatrment…

Americans sleep twice as much as they work, on average.

Averages mean NOTHING. Nothing.

If only one person in ten makes a million dollars and the rest make none at all then the average earnings are $100,000. It is a worthless statement.

From the article it is numbers pulled from ages 15 and up. The kids sleep more, work less. The adults work more, sleep less in general. But everybody sleeps some. Not everybody works. It is a totally bullshit pile of stupid.

Sea to shining sea.

The hearse with the extension ladder in front of us braked heavily, sending up a cloud of dust in the gravel road.

Nice opening sentence, huh?

Cruel Wife stomped her brakes soon after a breath whistled between my passenger-seat-driver teeth. I have never been comfortable when to driving in spite of asking her to drive roughly two-thirds of the time.

“Hey, there is a clown on the back of that hearse. An evil clown.”

“Yeah, I saw it,” she replied. “I mentioned that already.”

“Sure makes a statement when you own a hearse with an extension ladder, huh? Not sure what it says though.”

More whistles and sharp intakes of breath filled the car as people crossed the road in a dizzying flurry of cheap LED lights and glow-in-the-dark rings. This time she braked in a sharp rebuke to my neck, a nonverbal cue that I should be quiet and let her drive.

I respected her wishes for a count of five and then said “Gosh, that was quite a fireworks show for a small county like [name_censored]. It was huge. And the music they played… Patriotic American music, all of it good, except maybe Bruce Springsteen. ‘Born in the USA’, ok, yeah I get it, but he’s a huge liberal and then, too, was twerker-butt whatserface I think you said. With that choice of songs, I tell you what… the people of [name_censored] County did not elect Obama.”

“No, no they didn’t,” said Cruel Wife, grinding her molars even flatter. She is no fan of the man.

Not wanting her to drive angry for a second time tonight (the first of which I will tell you of tomorrow) I changed the topic. Driving angry with Cruel Wife is a lot like being on a decaying out of control carnival ride when the operator has just died from one too many Elephant ears.

“You know, there are people who fear clowns.” I could not remember the latin and missed a great chance to dazzle my children once more with my brilliance. Coulrophobia is the term, but remembering it ten minutes later impresses no one.

“Oh yeah?

“Sure. The Butcher of Lansing hates clowns, and at work The Dread Queen’s husband is terrified of them. She wouldn’t even take my evil clown mask home to torture him. It is crippling.”

My daughter seemed vulnerable to some teasing so I informed the kids that Killer Klowns from Outer Space is one of my favorite movies. I said “So what happens in the movie is…”

Lemurita yelled “Nooooo! Don’t say it!”

As I hoped she had taken my bait, swallowing the lure completely and setting the hook. “Since you ask, what happens is that evil space clow…”

“NOOOOOO!” she screamed shrilly. “I don’t want to hear it!”

To Cruel Wife I said “I am so evil.”

“Yes.”

HackerBoy had been pretty quiet and I heard him say in his soft voice “What happens in the movie?” Over his sister’s loud ‘la-la-la-la’ with her fingers in her ears I explained to him the incredible depth and nuances of the movie, a feat that took all of a minute with time left over to add, “It is a cool and funny movie.” I am not sure he was convinced.

I can only hope that some day we can enjoy Bubba Ho-Tep and John Dies at the End together.

“Hey, is that a hand sticking out of the bumper?”

“I said that already,” sighed Cruel Wife resignedly.

Thirty minutes before we had been waiting for the start of the [name_censored] County Family Laser Light and Fireworks Show. It finally cranked up with one of the better performances of the National Anthem that I have ever heard. My legs had fallen asleep so I had to settle for hat off and hand over my heart while sitting on the ground. It is perhaps a lapse in my parenting that I had to remind my kids to sit up and put their hands over their hearts, but they did it, so I am not displeased.

The lasers fired up and I realized that they were aimed out over the crowd and they were perhaps outside of my comfort zone in intensity. I work with lasers every single day and some of them (most) are high power lasers so I felt justified in my concern. I could do little else besides tell them to not stare at the sources where the scatter was brightest and look elsewhere. If Murphy and his damn law showed up and blinded everyone I wasn’t going to leave us with no one to drive home. We could go into MPE and laser eye safety, and debate the actual damage in this situation, but I like my vision.

The lasers did not last long and soon we heard song after patriotic song.

The fireworks themselves were awesome. Flat out the best I have seen, and I never expected that good of a show at [name_censored] County Family Laser Light and Fireworks Show. The bursts went on nonstop for a very long time, did a finale, and then a rib-cage-squeezing and ear-ringing encore.

I knew I was being played, with the music selection and show biz aspect of things, but I remembered with some feeling that I was damn glad to be an American and was actually moved by they whole thing. For some reason it just seemed to me that in our area, the prevailing crowd’s attitude tonight was one of “We needed this.”

Pretty amazing for a cynic like me. But it made me determined that those of us who do love our country need to get it back from the “bipartisan” slimebags in our government who think this next election will leave them untouched. Immigration Reform is not the future of America.

I sat there on the blanket on a mosquito-less cool summer night with my arm around HackerBoy and Lemurita snuggled close to steal what heat she could, and was thankful for it.

Seemed like it was a pretty good lead-in to Father’s Day.

So I am a Wrangler owner.

Strange thing being a Cult of the Wrangler member (de facto).  I have other Jeep Wrangler owners waving to me.  Now, I knew rationally and factually that this does exist but I have experienced it, which is a different thing.

In the last eight days I have had or fifteen Wrangler owners wave at me.  Two today.

I am really liking the darned thing.  Yes, it will kill me if I do not exercise control and daydreaming is not encouraged.  Ok, I can deal with that. It is like riding a horse that is a real spirited d*ckhead of a horse.

But I love it.

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I always wondered what it might be like to be adrift, and always wondered how you ensure your survival. Well, you don’t. 99 times out of a hundred, I guess you die.

The Life of Pi would seem to be a bit rosy if anything.

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Again, thanks to Cracked.com, now I have a better understanding of post-apocalypse.

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Good heavens… What keeps them on? Glue?

My guess is the condom is mostly effective because the users would develop an aversion to genital pain.

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Let us all thank a hacker today for moon footage.

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Yes, evil walks the world.

Baby killers.. You do not experiment on the innocent. You try things out on a case by case basis to save a life, but not like this.

Dems to unveil 2014 slogan

  1. It’ll get better. We promise.
  2. We suck less
  3. We have good intentions
  4. Give us one more chance, baby
  5. Vota por mi, amigos
  6. It was Bush’s fault
  7. It was the harsh winters fault
  8. Republicans/Tea Party are evil
  9. Two words: Koch Brothers

Vote for one or add your own below.

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The similarities are too striking.  There must be a common thing in each that makes me laugh every time.

Similar

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Cycles.

 

Our Grand Cherokee died, more or less, so we got a Wrangler (pre-owned by long margin).  Cruel Wife gets her car back and I get a jeep back.  I am tickled.  It drives like a jeep, it rides like a jeep, and it is noisy.  The short wheel base will murder you if you don’t respect it.  And I love it.

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Well.  I am probably busier than any other time in my career at this moment.  It is kind of a crushing load felt by everyone in my company (and our families).  So I come home and don’t want to blog.

But here we are, hmmm?

A constitutional law guy does nothing and then gets elected to be president based on no demonstrable merit whatsoever.  Then, after years of trailblazing goat-paths through mediocrity, somehow manages to blame the system, saying it is broken.  And in his complaints, he manages to twist reality so badly it almost tears the fabric of space and time.

President Obama is taking a swipe at the Founding Fathers, blaming his inability to move his agenda on the “disadvantage” of having each state represented equally in the Senate.

Yeah, that is pretty effed up, all right.  Screwed up by the very senate you own… Tragic.

At a Democratic fundraiser in Chicago Thursday night, Mr. Obama told a small group of wealthy supporters that there are several hurdles to keeping Democrats in control of the Senate and recapturing the House. One of those problems, he said, is the apportionment of two Senate seats to each state regardless of population.

If I need to explain the ways in which that is wrong you probably wandered over here by mistake, but I wanted to point the situation out.

“Obviously, the nature of the Senate means that California has the same number of Senate seats as Wyoming. That puts us at a disadvantage,” Mr. Obama said.

He is missing the point.  That was the intent.

Here is the part where his logic is like a bag of cats, and you can smell crazy all over it.

“So there are some structural reasons why, despite the fact that Republican ideas are largely rejected by the public, it’s still hard for us to break through,” Mr. Obama said.

There isn’t a lick of logic there.

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Should women get paid leave for menstrual cramps?  Boy that sure is a litmus issue for this election year, isn’t it?

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I notice that the flaw “hubris” hasn’t changed much.  Especially in weather modeling.

What is so entertaining is that they can claim that previous statements could be called wrong no matter how vocal and strident they were before (but wrong) and this time claim certainty that they are incontestably right.  On Themageddon…

“There’s no serious dispute any more about whether the globe is warming, whether humans are responsible, and whether we will see large and dangerous changes in the future – in the words of the National Academy of Sciences – which we didn’t know in the 1970s,” said Michael Mann, a climatologist at Pennsylvania State University in University Park. He added that nearly every U.S. scientific society has assessed the evidence and come to the same conclusion.

His stance in Chillageddon in the 70’s?

“Meteorologists disagree about the cause and extent of the cooling trend, as well as over its specific impact on local weather conditions. But they are almost unanimous in their view that the trend will reduce agricultural productivity for the rest of the century.”

Yeah, but this time the hysteria is based on fact, right?

They don’t even have the grace to be ashamed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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