The bestest topmostest keyword search which isn’t really weird is “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” which I wholeheartedly support.
Now for the weird and/or downright creepy. This is a work in progress as I get more strange hits.
- “sleeping tablet – crepuscular” – Did I ever use the word “crepuscular”? If I did, I’m sorry
- “man boy suck” – this one was HIGHLY disturbing and I have debated with myself whether to even include it in this list because of that very nature. The kind of person who makes searches with those key words is the kind of person I’d beat up on general principles
- “kinky stuff to do with yourself” – Wow. Giving rise to “Kinky Stuff to Do with Yourself for Dummies” books everywhere. “Kinky devices” is a variation on the theme
- “diapers for my lemur” – AFAIK, Lemurs do quite well, sans Huggies
- “al franken steals from boy scouts” – while I am not surprised, I must say that I am disappointed
- “michael phelps sister panties expose” – not so surprising, really, but the very exactitude of the search was of note
- “religious art psychosis” – this only barely made it under the wire, still it is an interesting combination of words
- “meth bugs” – somebody sure sounds paranoid
- “smoked meat horror” – I’m picturing something like Poultrygeist, only worser.
- “nuts hot nuts get candy” – saying ‘nuts’ twice and combining it with ‘hot’ and ‘get candy’… it raises my red flag
- “how does lemur protect himself from enem” – The hit listing showed only “enem”. I really hope it was “enemies” and not “enemas”
- “cannibal who couldn’t get an erection” – I don’t need to explain this, do I?
- “gummi candy glue fetish” – WTF?
- “poop yodeller”. What possible context could you be in that would allow these two words to coexist in the same sentence?
- “women doing sex with her pets” – Ew.
- “tickle my pickle” – Well. I don’t know that you needed to come to the Folly to get your pickle tickled. In fact it’s probably the last place you would want to go for pickle tickling.
- “kidney stones caused by aliens” – And here I thought all aliens were good for was anal probing.
- “swine love” – not a term I’d use. PORK FAT love, however…
~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~
08/09/08: I just read one that chilled me… and my heart does go out to this person… “propane suicide”
08/14/08: Not strange so much as surprising and saddening. Someone did a search for “scott blecha”, a former co-worker of mine and all around all-right guy who died on the Storm King fire in Colorado. That wasn’t expected.
Good day
audio Explanation of the English only Quran (for the first time on the internet)
Islam tolerates the killing of innocents because:
Muslims can be terrorists
Muslims engage in `holy wars’ (jihad)
Islam spread by the sword
it has a harsh and cruel judicial system
This misconception is one of the most widely held misconceptions about Islam today. And yet in the Qur’an, the Creator unambiguously states (translation),
7:33] Nor take life – which Allah has made sacred – except for just cause. And if anyone is slain wrongfully, we have given his heir authority (to demand retaliation or to forgive): but let him not exceed bounds in the matter of taking life, for he is helped (by the Law)
Based on this verse, it is Islamically unlawful to murder anyone who is innocent of certain crimes. It is well to remember at this point the distinction made above between Qur’an and Sunnah, and the Muslims: only the Qur’an and Sunnah are guaranteed to be in accordance with what the Creator desires, whereas the Muslims may possibly deviate. Hence, if any Muslim kills an innocent person, that Muslim has committed a grave sin, and certainly the action cannot be claimed to have been done “in the name of Islam.”
It should be clear, then, that “Muslim terrorist” is almost an oxymoron: by killing innocent people, a Muslim is commiting an awesome sin, and Allah is Justice personified. This phrase is offensive and demeaning of Islam, and it should be avoided. It is hoped that as the general level of public awareness and understanding of Islam increases, people will keep “terrorism” and “Islam” separate from each other, not to be used in the same phrase.
Another reason advanced in support of the misconception is that the Creator has imposed `jihad’ on us. The term “holy war” is from the time of the Crusades and originated in Europe as a rallying cry against the Muslims in Jerusalem. Jihad is an Arabic word meaning struggle, but in the context of many verses in the Qur’an, it carries the meaning of military struggle, or war. Allah gradually introduced the obligation of military struggle to the Muslim community at the time of the Messenger (saas). The first verse ever revealed in that connection is as follows (translation),
2:39] Permission (to fight) is given to those upon whom war is made because they are oppressed, and most surely Allah is well able to assist them;
This verse lays down the precondition for all war in Islam: there must exist certain oppressive conditions on the people. The Creator unequivocally orders us to fight oppression and persecution, even at the expense of bloodshed as the following verse shows (translation),
:190-192] And fight in the cause of Allah with those who fight with you, and do not exceed the limits, surely Allah does not love those who exceed the limits. And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from where they drove you out, and persecution is severer than slaughter, and do not fight with them at the Sacred Mosque (in Makkah) until they fight with you in it, but if they do fight you, then slay them; such is the reward of the unbelievers. But if they desist, then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. And fight with them until there is no persecution, and religion should be only for Allah, but if they desist, then there should be no hostility except against the oppressors.
As one might imagine, the method of military struggle has been clearly and extensively defined in the Qur’an and Sunnah. Since this subject is a huge one, we simply summarize part of it by noting that it is unlawful to kill women, children, the infirm, the old, and the innocent. From the Sunnah, specifically in the study of the Sunnah called Sahih Bukhari, we find:
:52:257] Narrated ‘Abdullah: During some of the Ghazawat of the Prophet a woman was found killed. Allah’s Apostle disapproved the killing of women and children.
A related misconception to jihad is often propagated by Muslims who say that “Jihad is only for self-defense of physical borders.” The Qur’an and Sunnah refute this notion categorically. As the verses cited above show, jihad is obligatory wherever there is injustice, and Muslims need not acknowledge imaginary lines around the earth when it comes to upholding this obligation. The Messenger of Allah (saas) has also commented on this extensively in the Sunnah. From the study of the Sunnah called Sahih Bukhari, we find that,
:52:65] Narrated Abu Musa: A man came to the Prophet and asked, “A man fights for war booty; another fights for fame and a third fights for showing off; which of them fights in Allah’s Cause?” The Prophet said, “He who fights that Allah’s Word (i.e. Islam) should be superior, fights in Allah’s Cause.”
Hence, the Creator obligates us to fight wherever people are being grossly deprived of freely hearing or practicing the Message of Allah as contained in the Qur’an and Sunnah. Sayyed Qutb, a famous Muslim scholar eloquently discusses the notion of jihad and self-defense in his book Milestones,
“If we insist on calling Islamic jihad a defensive movement, then we must change the meaning of the word `defense’ and mean by it `defense of man’ against all those elements which limit his freedom. These elements take the form of beliefs and concepts, as well as of political systems, based on economic, racial, or class distinction.”
A third reason often cited for the misconception about Islam which says that this way of life tolerates the killing of innocents is that the judicial system of Islam is unnecessarily harsh. This reason is weak in two respects. First, it presupposes that human beings are more just and more merciful than the Creator, and therefore we can change the law. Second, it is often based on gross oversimplifications of Islamic law, such as saying “all thieves get their hands cut off.”
The Qur’an and Sunnah make it clear that the law of retaliation (or equality) governs us for murder and physical injury, but forgiveness is better as the following verses from the Qur’an show (translation),
:178] O you who believe! the law of equality is prescribed to you in cases of murder: the free for the free, the slave for the slave, the woman for the woman. But if any remission is made by the brother of the slain, then prosecution (for the bloodwit) should be made according to usage, and payment should be made to him in a good manner; this is an alleviation from your Lord and a mercy; so whoever exceeds the limit after this he shall have a painful chastisement.
2:40-43] The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for (Allah) loves not those who do wrong. But indeed if any do help and defend themselves after a wrong (done) to them, against such there is no cause of blame. The blame is only against those who oppress men and insolently transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right and justice: for such there will be a grievous penalty. And whoever is patient and forgiving, these most surely are actions due to courage.
The Creator ordained the law of retaliation on us knowing full well that we might question it. In many non-Muslim societies today, there are ongoing debates about the death penalty. In Islam, this discussion is moot: the Creator has decided the matter for us. He has however given us an interesting verse in the Qur’an which advises to consider the matter carefully if we want to understand it (translation follows),
:179] And there is life for you in (the law of) retaliation, O people of understanding, that you may guard yourselves.
Most people are also unaware of the stringent conditions which must be met for the law of retaliation to be applicable. The Sunnah is full of examples of the Messenger of Allah showing us when the law’s preconditions were fulfilled. For example, a thief is only liable to lose his or her hand if the item stolen exceeds a certain value, and if it is proven that the item was taken from its normal resting place. Stealing food is not punishable by the loss of one’s hand, and other items are exempt as well. This is just an example of how gingerly the law is applied in Islam.
Finally, another reason advanced for this prevalent misconception is that Islam `spread by the sword’. It should be clear by now that we must always distinguish between the Qur’an and Sunnah and the Muslims when it comes to determining what the Creator has asked of us. Allah has stated clearly in the Qur’an (translation),
:256] There is no compulsion in religion; truly the right way has become clearly distinct from error; therefore, whoever rejects Satan (and what he calls to) and believes in Allah, he indeed has laid hold on the firmest handhold, which shall not break off, and Allah is Hearing, Knowing.
Hence, it is impossible to accept Islam under duress. Even if misguided Muslims were to try to `force’ Islam somehow on others, it would not be accepted by the Creator based on this verse.
Historical arguments that try to demonstrate that Muslims did not `convert others by force’ are actually secondary to the argument given above. However, it is worth noting that historically, Islam did spread by peaceful means. The Message of the Creator was conveyed to Africa and to southeast Asia by trading Muslims, and today the largest Muslim country in the world is Indonesia. The military expeditions that led to the conquest of large swathes of territory in Europe and central Asia were all marked by tolerance of other creeds and faith.
Again, it is important to remember that Allah declares it IMPOSSIBLE that Islam can be forced on a person, hence Muslims find it useless to try
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Hi everyone
A new MP3 CD quality stereo audio Explanation of the Quran
An Explanation Of The Attributes Of Allah
It is not possible to perfectly translate the names and attributes of Allah from their original Arabic into English. However, here are some fairly close explanations.
Allah
He who has the power to create the entities.
Ar-Rahman
The One who has plenty of mercy for the believers and the blasphemers in this world and especially for the believers in the hereafter.
The Most Merciful
Ar-Rahim
The One who has plenty of mercy for the believers.
The most Compassionate
Al-Malik
The One with the complete Dominion, the One Whose Dominion is clear from imperfection.
The King, the Monarch
Al-Qudtus
The One who is pure from any imperfection and clear from children and adversaries.
The Holy one
As-Salam
The One who is free from every imperfection.
The Peace, The Tranquility
Al-Mu’min
The One who witnessed for Himself that no one is God but Him. And He witnessed for His believers that they are truthful in their belief that no one is God but Him.
The One with Faith
The Faithful, The Trusted
Al-Muhaymin
The One who witnesses the saying and deeds of His creatures.
The Protector
The vigilant, the controller
Al-’Aziz
The Defeater who is not defeated.
The Mighty
The Almighty, the powerful
Al-Jabbar
The One that nothing happens in His Dominion except that which He willed.
The oppressor, the all Compelling
Al-Mutakabbir
The One who is clear from the attributes of the creatures and from resembling them.
The Haughty, the Majestic
The Imperious
Al-Khaliq
The One who brings everything from non-existence to existence.
The Creator, the Maker
Al-Bari’
The Creator who has the Power to turn the entities.
The Artificer, the Creator
Al-Musawwir
The One who forms His creatures in different pictures.
The Fashioner
The Organiser the Designer
Al-Ghaffar
The One who forgives the sins of His slaves time and time again.
The Forgiving, the Forgiver
Al-Qahhar
The Subduer who has the perfect Power and is not unable over anything.
The Almighty, the Dominant
Al-Wahhab
The One who is Generous in giving plenty without any return. e is everything that benefits whether Halal or Haram.
The Donor, the Bestower
Ar-Razzaq
The Provider, the Sustainer
Al-Fattah
The One who opens for His slaves the closed worldy and religious matters.
The Opener, the Revealer
Al-’Alim
The Knowledgeable; The One nothing is absent from His knowledge.
The all Knowing, the Omniscient
Al-Qabid
The One who constricts the sustenance.
The Contractor, The Restrainer, the Recipient.
Al-Basit
The One who expands and widens.
The Expander, He who expands
Al-Khafid
The One who lowers whoever He willed by His Destruction.
The Abaser, the Humbler
Ar-Rafi’
The One who raises whoever He willed by His Endowment.
The Raiser, the Exhalter
Al-Mu’iz
He gives esteem to whoever He willed, hence there is no one to degrade Him;
The Honorer, the Exhalter
Al-Muzil
Degrades whoever he willed, hence there is no one to give him esteem.
The Abaser, the Degrader, the Subduer
As-Sami’
The One who Hears all things that are heard by His Eternal Hearing without an ear, instrument or organ.
The Hearer, The All hearing, all knowing.
Al-Basir
The One who Sees all things that are seen by His Eternal Seeing without a pupil or any other instrument.
The Seer, The discerning, the All seeing.
Al-Hakam
He is the Ruler and His judgment is His Word.
The arbitrator, the Judge
Al-’Adl
The One who is entitled to do what He does.
The justice, the equitable. The Just.
Al-Latif
The Most Gentle, the Gracious.
The One who is kind
Al-Khabir
The One who knows the truth of things.
The Aware. The Segacious, one is who is aware.
Al-Halim
The One who delays the punishment for those who deserve it and then He might forgive them.
The Gentle. The most patient, the Clement.
Al-’Azim
The One deserving the attributes of Exaltment, Glory, Extolement,and Purity from all imperfection.
The Great, Mighty
Al-Ghafoor
The One who forgives a lot.
The Forgiving, the Pardoner.
Ash-Shakur
The One who gives a lot of reward for a little obedience.
The Grateful, the Thankful
Al-’Ali
The One who is clear from the attributes of the creatures.
The most high, the exhalted.
Al-Kabir
The One who is greater than everything in status.
The great, the big.
Al-Hafiz
The One who protects whatever and whoever He willed to protect.
The Guardian, the preserver.
Al-Muqit
The One who has the Power.
The maintainer, The Nourisher
Al-Hasib
The One who gives the satisfaction.
The noble, The Reckoner
Aj-Jalil
The One who is attributed with greatness of Power and Glory of status.
The Majestic. The honorable, the exhalted.
Al-Karim
The One who is clear from abjectness.
The most generous, the Bountiful.
Ar-Raqib
The One that nothing is absent from Him. Hence it’s meaning is related to the attribute of Knowledge.
The Guardian, the watchful. Watcher.
Al-Mujib
The One who answers the one in need if he asks Him and rescues the yearner if he calls upon Him.
The Responder. The respindent, one who answers.
Al-Wasi’
The Englober. The enricher, the Omnipresent, the Knowledgeable.
Al-Hakim
The One who is correct in His doings.
The most Wise, the Judicious.
Al-Wadud
The Affectionate, the Loving.
Al-Majid
The One who is with perfect Power, High Status, Compassion, Generosity and Kindness.
The Glorious, the exhalted.
Al-Ba’ith
The One who resurrects for reward and/or punishment.
The Resurrector, the Raiser from death.
Ash-Shahid
The One who nothing is absent from Him.
The Witness
Al-Haqq
The One who truly exists.
The Truth, the Just.
Al-Wakil
The One who gives the satisfaction and is relied upon.
The Guardian, the Trustee
Al-Qawee
The One with the complete Power.
The powerful, the Almighty, The Strong
Al-Matin
The One with extreme Power which is un-interrupted and He does not get tired.
The Strong, the Firm
Al-Walee
The Supporter, the Friend, the Defender the master.
Al-Hamid
The praised One who deserves to be praised.
The Praiseworthy , the Commendable
Al-Muhsi
The One who the count of things are known to him.
The Counter
Al-Mubdi’
The One who started the human being. That is, He created him.
The Beginner, the Creator, The Originator
Al-Mu’eed
The One who brings back the creatures after death.
The Restorer, the Resurrector.
Al-Muhyee
The One who took out a living human from semen that does not have a soul. He gives life by giving the souls back to the worn out bodies on the resurrection day and He makes the hearts alive by the light of knowledge.
The Bestower, the Life Giver.
Al-Mumeet
The One who renders the living dead.
The Bringer of Death. The Death Giver.
Al-Hayy
The One attributed with a life that is unlike our life and is not that of a combination of soul, flesh or blood.
The Living. The Alive, the ever living.
Al-Qayyum
The One who remains and does not end.
The Self-Subsistent, The Eternal, the Self Sustaining.
Al-Wajid
The Rich who is never poor. Al-Wajd is Richness.
The all percieving, the Opulent, the Finder.
Al-Majid
The One who is Majid.
The Noble, the illustrous.
Al-Wahid
The One without a partner.
The One, the Unique.
Al-Ahad
The only, the Unique.
As-Samad
The Master who is relied upon in matters and reverted to in ones needs.
The Perfect, the Eternal.
Al-Qadir
The One attributed with Power.
The Able, the Capable, the Omnipotent.
Al-Muqtadir
The One with the perfect Power that nothing is withheld from Him.
The Capable, The all Powerful
Al-Muqadtim
He makes ahead what He wills.
The Presenter, The Advancer, The Expediter
Al-Mu’akhkhir
The One who delays what He wills.
The Fulfiller, the keeper behind, The Deferrer
Al-’Awwal
The One whose Existence is without a beginning.
The First
Al-’Akhir
The One whose Existence is without an end.
The Last
Az-Zahir
The Apparent, the Exterior, The Manifest
The One that nothing is above Him and nothing is underneath Him, hence He exists without a place.
Al-Batin
The Hidten, the Interior, the Latent
Al-Wali
The One who owns things and manages them.
The Governor, The Ruler, The Master
Al-Muta’ali
The One who is clear from the attributes of the creation.
The Exalted, The most high, one above reproach.
Al-Barr
The One who is kind to His creatures, who covered them with His sustenance and specified whoever He willed among them by His support, protection, and special mercy.
The Benefactor, The Beneficient, the Pious.
At-Tawwab
The One who grants repentance to whoever He willed among His creatures and accepts his repentance.
The Acceptor of Repentance, The Forgiver, the Relenting.
Al-Muntaqim
The One who victoriously prevails over His enemies and punishes them for their sins. It may mean the One who destroys them.
The Avenger
Al-’Afuww
The One with wide forgiveness.
The Forgiver, the effacer, the Pardoner
Ar-Ra’uf
The One with extreme Mercy. The Mercy of Allah is His will to endow upon whoever He willed among His creatures.
The merciful, the Ever Indulgent.
Al-Muqsit
The One who is Just in His judgment.
The Just the Equitable
Aj-Jami’
The One who gathers the creatures on a day that there is no doubt about, that is the Day of Judgment.
The Collector, the comprehensive, Gatherer
Al-Ghanee
The One who does not need the creation.
The rich, the all sufficing, Self-Sufficient
Al-Mughnee
The One who satisfies the necessities of the creatures.
The Enricher, sufficer, the bestower.
Al-Mani’
The Supporter who protects and gives victory to His pious believers. Al-Mu’tiy
The Withholder
The Preventer, the prohibiter, the defender.
Ad-Darr
The One who makes harm reach to whoever He willed.
The Distresser , The afflictor, the bringer of Adversity.
An-Nafi’
The One who gives benefits to whoever He wills.
The Beneficialm Benefactor
An-Nur
The One who guides.
The Light
Al-Hadi
The One whom with His Guidance His belivers were guided, and with His Guidance the living beings have been guided to what is beneficial or them and protected from what is harmful to them.
The Guide
Al-Badi’
The One who created the creation and formed it without any preceding example.
The Wonderful, the maker, Incomparable
Al-Baqi
The One that the state of non-existence is impossible for Him.
The Enduring, the Everlasting, the eternal
Al-Warith
The One whose Existence remains.
The Inheritor, The Heir
Ar-Rashid
The One who guides.
The Rightly Guided, The Concious, the Guide
As-Sabur
The One who does not quickly punish the sinners.
The most Patient, the Enduring.
Malik Al-Mulk
The One who controls the Dominion and gives dominion to whoever He willed.
The Ruler of the Kingdom, king of the Universe
Zul-l-Jalal wal-Ikram
The One who deserves to be Exalted and not denied.
Lord of Majesty and Generosity
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