A faithful minion over at O’Boy and Asshattery – The Snark Years (dat’s Steamboat McGoo to those who know him)… the faithful minion, cbullitt, has passed on information that is disturbing and grievous.
The Hyperion Cantos – a four book set that so richly describes a world that it is hard to encompass it all without several readings – is to be made into a movie. Now, while I have always dreamed of seeing the story come to life on film, I have small hope of it being done with due justice.
Dan Simmon’s official website has a note about it, here. You would think that with the author’s blessings, it would be something I should stop worrying about. But… authors have let movies be made before with bad results. Hopefully if Mr. Simmons ever reads these words he will understand that it is out of deep respect for his writing that I’d even say all this. It’s too wonderful of a story to let it be done wrong. Writing the screenplay and directing the movie not be attempted by anyone less than an IQ of 145.
I get worried by statements like this:
King acquired the rights to the series several years ago, but its structure, inspired by Boccaccio’s “Decameron” and Chaucer’s “Canterbury Tales,” and its multiple timelines made the task of adapting it into a feature unwieldy and challenging.
Brought in by GK Films’ Grey Rembert and Gail Lyon, Sands won over the execs by taking a selective approach to the two novels’ multiple points of view in a way that managed to coherently and unconfusingly tell the story.
The key words being “selective approach”. Those words strike fear into my heart.
If you’re expecting a book review with a synopsis, you won’t get one. There’s too many things to choose from and it would be a long review. A long review would not be fair to you if you will be a potential reader because it will let you peek ahead when the story must be told as it is told by Father Hoyt, Kassad, Martin Silenus, Sol Weintraub, Brawne Lamia, and the Consul.
Suffice it to say that “epic”, “sci-fi”, “saga”, and “amazing” all fit quite well together here. The characters are believable, they aren’t forced, they are good, they are evil, they are brave, and they are cowards. The worlds are hellish, deadly beauty, fire, ice, mysterious, empty, and vast – and there are a lot of them.
And in case you are wondering as to the title of this post, Father Paul Duré is a main figure in all the books, and he self-crucified himself only to die and live again and again in a vast forest of raging Tesla trees. And that was only part of the beginning.
United Airways had their little problem a few weeks ago, remember? Just one week prior to that I flew to VA on business and had an experience. No crash but I wasn’t tickled pink. After the whirlwind day trip on their airlines I came up with the following summary, which I also sent in roughly the same wording to the secretary and the bosses:
(1) US Airways sucks.
(2) US Airways really sucks.
(3) US Airways really really sucks.
(4) Landing in Philly in high wind and turbulence sucks, too.
(5) Coastal VA is flat-out beautiful, even in wintertime, and if the company wants me to start a branch there, I’m up for it..
(6) On the way back (now NW Airlines) the Seat 21-C that our secretary put me on is not actually a seat in Row 21 on a plane per se, but is actually the left-side bathroom at the rear of the DC-9 model aircraft (thankyouverymuch). I had to keep getting up every three minutes to let other passengers use my “seat”. I suppose this is the result of some perceived slight on her part and I’m paying the price but it must be said that the ticket price is a tad high considering how little cushioning there is on the seats in the lavatories.
I didn’t walk away very happy with US Airways. The planes were not in good condition, the seating was terrible, and I had to pay to get any kind of beverage at all. At least on NW Airlines when I asked her if they were charging for a drink, the stewardess said “Yes, the price of a soda is a smile.” She got her smile.
That said, the pilot of US Airways Flight 1549 still has my utmost respect. One hell of a job there.
Note: 21-C actually is a seat on a DC-9. It is however, so close to the lavatory that you can hear toilet paper hitting the floor when someone drops a square.