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Archive for April 30th, 2008

Quick Update:

It’s getting pretty bad when your ENEMIES give you the silent treatment (rolls eyes). Poor poor bitchy Hillary… What’s a witch gotta do to get treated like a queen around here?

X-treme Geek has once again earned hosannas in my humble (but still really really important) opinion.

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It’s the X-treme Geek USB Forklift!!!

RC ForkLift

I don’t know what I’d lift with it, but I need one anyway. Bad. Real bad. Wet-your-pants-if-you-aren’t -granted-gratification-within-20-minutes bad.

I know my wife (aka “Frog”) reads this drivel that I write so maybe I can get one without groveling.

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Since the Universe is not without balance (meaning God has a wicked funny sense of humor) the mixed variety of individuals at X-treme Geek have another offering…

The Deluxe ION USB Turntable

Please, since my hearing is 50% gone and wear hearing aids, correct me if I’m wrong… vinylphiles keep their LP’s because the analog nature of the LP gives music more depth/range/warmth and leads to reduced chances of toenail cancer and bleeding gums in lab rats. So, I take my USB record player, put my LP on it, the signals get digitized at Nyquist sampling frequencies (44KHz) and sent over the USB link and through my digital sound card and spit out to my speakers. How is this useful? Great! Now I can cart around my LP’s and a bulky player everywhere! And less quality “Win-win”, oh yeah.

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Honorable mention goes to the Remote Revolver.

Remote Revolver

I would remove the little orange-red thingy. If I’m going to pretend I’m shooting my tv in my own home, I’m going to do it w/o ruining the illusion. It beats my current system which will only turn off the tv. My current controller requires no batteries, and is really hard to lose – it’s called The Brick and comes in red, brown, and grey colors.

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A cool Universal Card Reader:

Universal Card Reader

Neato! I like the simtel aspect of it.

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And lastly, the single most obnoxious thing I can imagine ever walking, rolling, or slithering across the face of this earth, besides most current-office-holding democrats…

Coco, the cute but soon to be short-lived alarm clock

Little Coco would last just one single night (morning). It would then go through stages of decombobulation.

  1. Stabbing via Abalone Knife (reserved for just such occasion, but with normal clocks)
  2. Burning, using ashes and sugar to prolong the pain
  3. Crushing blows via 15lb sledgehammer, with lots of garlic (can’t be too sure with these things)
  4. Wrapping in a bag of salt
  5. Burial, 6 ft deep hole, minimum
  6. Pavement over the top of the hole, not less than 6″ thick

To close today’s festivities, I can speak for all of us, I’m sure, when I say that this is a MUST HAVE item.

Laser Tag = Fun.
Laser Tag + Shocking The Snot Out Of You = Scream-Like-A-Girl Fun.

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