Archive for May 9th, 2008

They really need to consult with Cheryl Crow prior to instituting this policy, so she can tell them how well it worked for her. Toilet Paper Rationing For Inmates.

Another option, I believe is to implement the same measures they use in my workplace – optional 120, 180, and 220 grit varieties. We resort to 80 grit in very lean times which saves on water costs (fewer trips to the bathroom, don’t you know…)


Oh dear. It seems that the Bishop needs a sabbatical. The report to the emergency operators (I am not making this up) claimed:

“…gentle little people, about 3 to 4 feet tall, and wearing Halloween masks” were in the hall.

This is the kind of paranoia that you expect to see with meth abuse.


Four men drive to 48 states in 106 hours (and 43 minutes). Here two of them smile for a picture in their rag-topped Toyota Scion shortly after a pit stop and six orders jo-jo’s in the Land of the Lounge Lizards Grill and Pub. Shortly after returning home the engine started seizing due to 10,000 miles without adding oil or an oil change.


Really, when facing a day like this, one should go buy a lottery ticket, because there’s nowhere to go but up. One would think, anyway…

(click it for large pic – I had fun with this one.)

You cause a wreck, watch your house burn because your wife ran to see if you were ok in the wreck, and get ticked leaving the hospital. Wow, batting a thousand.


Facing a day like that is nothing compared to what your day is like if you need to use this product. Patent 4,320,756. I really, really, really would not shit you about this. I think they use the term “Fresh Air” somewhat loosely.

Fresh-air breathing device and method

AbstractThe recent rash of fires in high-rise hotels and deaths occasioned thereby has given rise to the need for a breathing device and method for supplying a hotel guest and/or fireman with fresh air until he can be rescued. The device and method of this invention provide for the insertion of a breathing tube through the water trap of a toilet to expose an open end thereof to fresh air from a vent pipe connected to a sewer line of the toilet, to enable the user to breathe fresh air through the tube.

Can you imagine using this in a fire and then getting that special sign that nature calls? Naturally you gotta flush, ’cause it’s only polite.

Now, for the cutting edge… Knives. Lots of Knives… Maybe these folks will notice and give me a discount for giving them more coverage? It’d be cool, but I’ll like ’em even if they don’t.

If you know me, you’ll know why I like this knife. Enough said.

MCusta Katana Series VG-10 Liner Lock Knife – Gold – MC-42

This next one is one I want (hint hint). I ache for it. My body physically responds to the sight of it. Stirring of the loins kind of thing. Disturbed yet? Good.

MCusta Classic San Mai Clad Liner Lock Knife – Yoroi – MC-37D

It belongs with King Henry the Second (The Lion in Winter – go out and rent it right now if you haven’t seen it.)

Kizlyar Special Etched Dagger – K20134B

What can I say, I’m a pushover for good legs, knives, and intensely loyal German Shepherds. I sure miss mine.

Maserin Special Damascus George Sessions Pocket Knife – MS234DE

Sleek and smooth. Looks very ergonomic.

Chambriard Amourette Pocket Knife – 1715

This is just a beautiful knife in terms of minimalism. It’s sparse, yet has nice symmetry and is almost organic yet technical – it’s a cyborg knife.

Maserin Sting Slim Line Liner Lock Knife – MS580

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GAS PRICES. How about them, eh?

I’m not going to bitch about them. They are what they are. Go buy a smaller vehicle. Eat out less. Carpool. Take a bus. Anything. Quit bitching about it. I know they’re high, I pay the same prices. It’s largely driven by supply/demand, speculation on tomorrow’s prices for gas required to replace todays usage, and taxes.

Do take a look at this map. Notice how the gas prices which include taxes are highest in the most liberal states? If you want to ask why the prices are high, don’t forget to ask why your gas TAXES are excessively high while you are at it. These red states (some of them) are also big users of the so-called bouquet formulations, which add cost as well. Typically these formulations are also driven by environmental concerns… which come from… where? Figure it out.

(Hint: If you are poor and being dragged into the ground – and vote liberal – ask the people you helped vote into power why they are adding fuel to the fire in making your life hell.)

(source of this snapshot: http://www.gasbuddy.com/gb_gastemperaturemap.aspx)

And please, for the love of dog, quit it already with the “Oil Companies are Making Profits at Our Expense! It’s DEMONIC!” One claim I heard was that they make about $0.09 profit per gallon. They sell obscene amounts of gas to us guzzlers. Ergo, they make “obscene profits”. Please, do try to be more intelligent than a pet rock.

Anybody ever notice the similarity? DEMOcrat and DEMOnic… only off by a few letters. Not saying anything, just ponderin’.


They SAY it is not to avoid offending anyone but I’m sorry, that stinks of, well, BS. Hope BS isn’t offensive to anyone.

British Airways takes beef off the menu to avoid offending Hindus

For decades the national dish has been a staple meal on the national carrier.

But now British Airways has taken beef off the menu for economy passengers amid concerns about its “religious restrictions”.

The airline has instead switched to a fish pie or chicken dish option for the so-called “cattle class” passengers.

BA’s second-biggest long-haul market is to India, where the majority Hindu population do not eat beef because of their beliefs. (more…)

REAL men would have said “There are other dishes, choose one of them or get a bag of pretzels. Deal wth it.”

I’m going to come right out and say it: “Have we collectively lost our damn MINDS?”

I don’t drink alcohol, it’s my problem, not yours – if you want to drink it, have at!

“It has nothing to do with the fear of causing offence – we always offer alternative meals for people with special dietary requirements if they order in advance.

“We are still serving beef based meals on certain menus in First Class and Club World and are currently deciding on whether or not to use beef on the menus for World Traveller customers for the winter season.”

The Hindu Council UK said: “The Hindu community will welcome this decision and the news it has been made partly because Hindus don’t eat beef.

“Hindus have a great deal of respect for British culture and are well integrated into the British way of life, so it’s good to see evidence of how they are literally flying the British flag by choosing British Airways.

“That said, Hindus are tolerant of the beliefs of others and do not expect everyone to stop eating a food because they do not eat it.”

In the past three months world beef prices have risen from about £2,500 a tonne to more than £4,000 a tonne, largely because of the weakening dollar and rising feed costs.

BA also said that cost is not a reason for the decision to stop serving beef.

Now we’re getting somewhere. Namely we have gotten NOWHERE. “It has nothing to do with causing offence” and “cost is not a reason for the decision to stop serving beef.”

So what the hell IS the reason? We can only serve two options is NOT a good reason – double the veggies and make it a vegetarian meal (bitch about that, why don’t you?). Great, what if MY religion doesn’t allow me to eat fish or chicken? Gonna stop that, too? What if I just don’t LIKE fish or chicken, and they make me want to barf? My point is stop trying to be so damned accommodating by chopping out options for everybody else.

C’mon people, join me in eating a cow today. March right out the door, get into your car, drive to the nearest Wendy’s/McDonald’s, Burker King, Dairy Queen, or whatever, and eat not one, but TWO burgers.

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