Archive for June, 2008

Because it is funny, that’s why.

Why, really, is a theory of mine. We ultimately laugh as a release of tension, and when we laugh at someone else’s misfortune it is partially a subconscious recognition of “Thank God that wasn’t me.”

Plus, we laugh because there is a part in all of us that is just plain ol’ mean ornery bastard.

Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. – Homer Simpson

Like, ferinstance, you can laugh at this guy who had one arm compounded and the other hyperextended badly enough to not be able to use either arm well for weeks. Admit it, there’s some laughter there.

(Before you get all snotty about laughing at other people’s pain, don’t… that was me in 1988, and *I* laugh at it. Talk about being humbled!)

I’m not normally a religious man, but if you’re up there, save me, Superman!  – Homer Simpson

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Oh, that’s nice.  (get me outta here…)

Men’s Fashion Gets a Feminine Touch at Paris Shows

The notion of wardrobe androgyny was the fitting theme of Yves Saint-Laurent’s men’s collection, the house that kicked off the just-ended Paris men’s shows where men’s fashion won a feminine touch.

At YSL, designer Stefano Pilati used quotations from Plato to explain why he combined female detailing with a masculine silhouette.

“The original human nature was not like the present … the sexes were not two as they are now.”

This is really what the West needs right now.  Further emasculation and gender confusion at a time when the world is doing it’s best to screw kids up irreparably.  What the hell happened to being happy and content with the way you were made?  Why not accentuate your strong qualities?  Why NOT let men be men and boys be boys?

I have nothing but contempt for the tool in the picture above.  I’m old fashioned I guess.


Obama is on the move regarding patriotism – he critizes after the fact the attacks on Petraeus in the MoveOn.org adBut didn’t do anything about it in a vote (however symbolic it may have been).

The Boston Glove had a nice op-ed on Obama’s Patriotism Pin Pickle back in October of 2007 when he was asked why he did not wear a flag pin on his lapel.  Excerpted emphasis mine:

IT WOULD NEVER have occurred to me to ask Barack Obama why he doesn’t wear an American flag pin on his lapel, let alone to draw any inference from such a seemingly trivial fact. But it did occur to a journalist in Iowa City, Iowa, to ask that question last week, and the answer it elicited wasn’t trivial at all.

Wrapping up an interview on “kind of a lighter note,” a KCRG-TV reporter observed that Obama wasn’t wearing a flag pin and inquired: “Is this a fashion statement? Those have been on politicians since Sept. 12, 2001.”

Obama could have waved off the query – “Nope, no fashion statement; I’m just not a lapel-pin kind of guy” – and nobody would have given the matter a second thought. Instead he went out of his way to politicize it.


Obama brought up the subject again a day later. “I probably haven’t worn a flag pin in a very long time,” he told a campaign crowd in Independence, Iowa. “My attitude is that I’m less concerned about what you’re wearing on your lapel than what’s in your heart. You show your patriotism by how you treat your fellow Americans, especially those who serve. You show your patriotism by being true to our values and ideals.” As for Americans who do wear a flag pin, Obama was scornful: “I noticed people wearing a lapel pin and not acting very patriotic.”

This, surely, is something new under the sun: a candidate for president disparaging the sincerity of voters who wear the American flag, and loftily insisting that he “won’t wear that pin.” Of course Obama is free to believe that “speaking out on issues” is the best way to show “true patriotism.” But does he really imagine that the many Americans who do “wear that pin” do so as a “substitute” for true patriotism – as a hypocritical affectation, in other words – rather than as a symbol of it?

Perhaps Obama, reflecting the post-1960s culture in which he came of age, simply doesn’t recognize the power and significance of such symbols in sustaining a nation’s identity and values. Many contemporary Americans, raised on the dogma that what they feel in their hearts matters more than how they conduct themselves in public, have little appreciation for traditions, manners, and emblems that earlier generations were taught to honor. We live in an era, after all, when worshippers attend church in shorts and flip-flops; when the civic inspiration of Washington’s Birthday has been replaced with the antiseptic nullity of Presidents Day; when smoking is taboo but foul language is ubiquitous; when countless couples disdain a marriage license as “just a piece of paper.” So why should the American flag pin on someone’s lapel be entitled to deference or respect?

And yet it’s hard to imagine Obama being quite so dismissive about other kinds of symbols. As UPI’s John O’Sullivan asked, would the senator also refuse to wear an AIDS ribbon on the grounds that it’s a mere “substitute” for true charity?

– thanks to Jeff Jacoby for his writing


Is there a relationship between the two topics so far? I’d like to think that most true patriots not only don’t run around wearing dresses with flag lapel pins, but they don’t wear dresses at all AND they think that lapel pins are a damn fine idea.

Show me just one  Distinguished Flying Cross recipient who earned it while he was in a dress and I’ll eat your shoes.


Speaking of real men and women – take a look at the latest in firefighting news.

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Wow.  I know I was wondering which way the cards would fall on this one.  Robert Mugabe wins the election.

Let’s see… he takes the last election where he lost, recounts it until… until… essentially until all hope of a valid election dissipates like smoke and then has a new election.

Luckily he was able to intimidate his nasty for-the-people opposition by threatening the lives of him and everyone around him.

The margin was narrow – he won by one vote.

Just hours after electoral officials said Mugabe won Friday’s presidential runoff, which observers said was marred by violence and intimidation, the 84-year-old leader sounded a conciliatory note.

“Sooner or later, as diverse political parties, we shall start serious talks,” he said in a speech following his swearing-in. He also had promised talks on the eve of the vote.

Translation: We shall start serious talks (on how to kill everybody with even an ounce of fight in them).

Wonder why the rest of the world doesn’t sem to care?


Oh, I know why it doesn’t care! Oh, I know!

Because, there is discrimination in schools… something smells in Sweden. (thanks BlueCrab Boulevard!)

And, lots of people don’t care because their rights are being trampled. TRAMPLED, I tell you. (thanks Brea Canyon Monument!)
I mean, really, thanks. Where else could I have learned that some guy actually had a name like “Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon”? That’s just beautiful.


Because I’ve had my head up my arse, I have failed to catch this thingy discovered by Ace of Spades regarding polar ice-cap thicknesses.  Until now.

Watch your vegetation.  It is marching.

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UPDATE:  PETA would probably see the cosmic joke in this post over at Brea Canyon Monument, a very enjoyable spot to browse if you like the world with a tilt.


I doubt “freakshowcasings” is really a word but it sounds to my ears enough like “sausage casings” that I’m willing to use it if it has any chance of pissing off a PETA member.  Freakshow, good word.  Showcase, good word.  So how can freakshowcasings be bad if it feels good and pisses PETA off?

I’m not going to let anyone go around abusing animals, because I think there’s very few things lower than a person who does that (perhaps syphilitic rats are lower, but even they are treatable).   This doesn’t mean that I’m gonna let some pasty-white anemic looking fruitcake tell me what I can and cannot eat.  Militant vegans just get under my skin.

I suggest y’all go and run right out to your local (insert_burger_joint_name_here) and order a triple-decker, double-cheese, extra mayo hamburger, sans vegetable of any kind.  And follow it up with jello made with real gelatin from animal parts.  Add an egg if they got ’em.  God meant us to eat animals.  We know that because they’re made out of meat.

Animal rights group turns its fire on celebrity meat-eaters

By Rachel Shields
Sunday, 29 June 2008

Animal rights protesters have launched a series of angry campaigns against A-list carnivores. They are shifting their focus from celebrities who wear fur to others who encourage the “exploitation” of animals by eating them. In its latest campaign, Peta – People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which became infamous for dousing fur-wearers in red paint – has launched an attack on the singer Jessica Simpson.

Ms Simpson was singled out for ridicule after she was spotted wearing a T-shirt bearing the slogan “Real Girls Eat Meat”, believed to be a light-hearted dig at her boyfriend Tony Romo’s vegetarian ex-girlfriend, Carrie Underwood.

Alistair Currie, a spokesman for Peta, said: “Jessica Simpson might have a right to wear what she wants, but she doesn’t have a right to eat what she wants – eating meat is about suffering and death. Some people feel like they are standing up against a tide of political correctness when they make a statement like this – what she is really doing is standing up for the status quo.”

The animal rights group doctored a photo of Ms Simpson to read “Only Stupid Girls Eat Meat”, and listed “five reasons only stupid girls eat meat”.

In May the group condemned the British actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers for admitting that he had tried dog meat while in China.

The Peta attacks are seen as a sign of the radicalisation of some vegetarian groups. They claim eating meat causes environmental destruction, damages human health and contributes to global hunger, as well as inflicting suffering on billions of animals. (more…)


While I’m being offensive, this is a good time to give a plug to a bumper sticker company – with stickers like this, they deserve more traffic  (get it?  traffic?  Heh heh heh… oh I kill me…):



This came from Blue Crab Boulevard. Word to the wise for those in socialist countries or ones that are becoming so… invite every last damn kid in your class to your birthday party unless you want to be sued.

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Smoking meat will give you a hell of a raspy cough though.

No Runny Eggs, Lemur King, Cruel Wife (and kidlets) plus a starving neighbor chowed down – smoked wings, pulled pork, ribs, rolls/buns, mustard and tomato sauces, mac and potato salad, baked beans…  Oh yeah.

NRE, being an incredibly laid back fella, seems to be a small-critter magnet, drawing attention from both of my offspring and Silver d’Cat.

This was a GOOD thing, as I had been cooking the pork butt (shoulder) roasts since 8pm the night before, and then the ribs since 9:30am this morning.   By the time you hit the home stretch, energetic offspring make it hard to pull it all together.  And I was *tired*.  Not at the peak of my game yet, obviously.

Meanwhile, Cruel Wife was awesomely terrific and made up a batch of my favorite Habanero Peanut-Butter Cookies.  Oh yeah.  I think NRE approved… (click the pics for larger versions)

Big Betsy – she finished off the buffalo wings, kept the pork warm, and toasted all the things that don’t do well in the smoker itself.

Here is Big Betsy.

The food… Note the bark on the ribs… black as sin but lots tastier (sez me).

I ended up scarfing 2-1/2 pulled pork sandwiches, four chunks of ribs, beans, mac salad, and enough Dr. Pepper to up my chances of diabetes by roughly 2000%.   I left my portion of buffalo wings to Cruel Wife since she is the one that would crawl bare-assed nekkid through turpentine and broken glass for a smoked wing – or rather – my smoked buffalo wings.

Girl-Child Unit #1 and Death-Wish Boy had a blast pestering NRE as I said before but I think they also managed to pull off “cute” at the same time, thus avoiding the humiliation of being sold to gypsies.  Their faces are covered for your protection, Constant Reader, for while they may look harmless, they are pure unadulterated evil.

Tomorrow the plan is to go to the Henry Ford Museum.  If you have never been there, this is a place worth making a vacation trip out of.  Between the Museum and Greenfield Village (both started by Ford) you have a lot of fascinating things to see, side by side.  Plan two days to see both.

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MoronBlogging It.

Well, it was a very quiet affair hanging out – myself, Cruel Wife, No Runny Eggs, Girl-Child Unit #1, and Death-Wish Boy.  And Silver d’Cat.

Click it for larger pic…

Shown:  Wok Hei – the art of blistering your Jae Jaeng Myun and then snarfing it 8x as fast as you should – it is on the Recipes page, if you care.  This has red bell pepper and onion standing in for the broccoli.

Hung out and talked with NRE, stumbled over and reminisced about Weasels Catsophone as Silver d’Cat cadged scritch after scritch from our allergic NRE (who finds the silly cat to be hypoallergenic even if he can be hyperannoying).

More in a bit…


Okay… photo-op, and Hillary is “kissing” Obama (see pic).  Below that pic, was a closeup shot that another photographer caught at this very moment.

The man barely escaped with his life, I tell you.

Full article:  Obama, Clinton appeal for Democratic unity in N.H.


I’m vile and will take heat for this, but it was funny.  It’s a joke, relax.  No, it’s not mine.  I’m not so clever.

John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barak Obama were walking down a Washington D.C. street when they came upon a homeless person.
The Republican, John McCain, gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his office for a job.  He then took $20 out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person.
Hillary was very impressed, so when they came upon another homeless person, she decided to help.  She walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office.  She then reached into John McCain’s pocket and got out $20.  She kept $15 for her administrative fees and gave the homeless person $5.

When they came upon yet another homeless person, Barak told the homeless person to ‘have hope . . . change is coming . . .’ and gave him nothing.

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UPDATE:  Best laid plans (even for a MoronBlogger event) of mice/men oft go agley…

So far we have a Missing Person’s Report and another who wasn’t able to come clear down today (perhaps tomorrow), and the others… who knows?

Rolling with the punches, even if no one showed up, we’d eat ourselves silly, freeze the rest, and nothing would go to waste.  From where the Lemur King sits, it’s a win-win, so while it would be sad to lose the comp’ny, it would not be like chow spoiled on the table.

All will be well and all wi’ be well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~*tentative at this point*~~~~~~~~~~~~


Friday Night (tonight… aiiiiieeee, I’m not ready!) – Indonesian Fried Rice

Saturday – Pulled pork, ribs, and smoked buffalo wings, Dr. Pepper until comatose (me), and rolls, cole slaw, etc.

Sunday – Homemade Biscuits and gravy – eat till you barf.   Then ???

Those who are spiritually-inclined will do pub-crawls, most likely in some dank recess of Michigan (no NOT Flint – that’s way too dank).  I’m assuming they will blog it.  I’ll blog the event from the “Grilling Dead Animal Flesh” side of it.

Who knows, maybe next year it could be something more organized?

We’ll play it by ear.  I may very well be tagged as an a$$hole and the idea will die in it’s infancy, strangled by it’s own umbilical cord.

Will keep you posted.

– LK

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All I gotta say is that it is about goddamned time. You won’t wake up to a communist state for at least a little while, because you are still able to defend yourselves (those of you who haven’t abdicated any hope of ever doing so by being a pacifist – I guess we’ll do your job for you if/when it happens).  Read about the Supreme Court on your right to self-defense.




PROOF that education is no substitute for intelligence.  (emphasis mine)

Next up: a professor who took a full six minutes announcing her credentials and then said, “I used up my entire pension supporting Hillary. I went to 13 states and knocked on doors. I want everyone in this room to write in the name of Hillary Clinton on the ballot when they go to vote and …”


The Dude passed on a link to TimesOnline, where they have communist jokes.

Bitch about the US all you want all you tree hugger, hemp-wearing, slackster in-a-haze coffee-house misanthropes, but it’s still more free than any other country in the world.

The Russia has reclaimed it’s title as a nasty communist state, and it only took them 20 years to recover from the Gipper. China… well, China is in a class all it’s own. Please keep in mind I’m referring to the government in both countries, the mafia in the the former Soviet States, and China’s internal policy on restriction of information flow (aka Censorship).

My favorites:

An old man is dying in his hovel on the steppes.
There is a menacing banging on the door.
‘Whose there?’ the old man asks.
‘Death ‘comes the reply.
‘Thank God for that,’ he says, ‘I thought it was the KGB.’
Dan Sweeney

The next one is cynical as hell. Which is why I like it.

A KGB officer is walking in the park and he sees and old Jewish man reading a book.
The KGB says “What are you reading old man?” The old man says “I am trying to teach myself Hebrew.”
KGB says “Why are you trying to learn Hebrew? It takes years to get a visa for Israel. You would die before the paperwork got done.”
“I am learning Hebrew so that when I die and go to Heaven I will be able to speak to Abraham and Moses. Hebrew is the language they speak in Heaven.” the old man replies.
“But what if when you die you go to Hell?” asks KGB.
And the old man replies, “Russian, I already know.”
Larry Rasczak

The winner was Larry Freeman. Damned if you do…

Three workers find themselves locked up, and they ask each other what they’re in for. The first man says: “I was always ten minutes late to work, so I was accused of sabotage.” The second man says: “I was always ten minutes early to work, so I was accused of espionage.” The third man says: “I always got to work on time, so I was accused of having a Western watch.


Good a time as any to voice this beef…


Airline Profits Soar on Hellish 3Q – Posted Oct 19, 07 (Newser) – The worst summer in a decade for the air traveler turned into the most lucrative for the airline industry. Carriers’ profits soared on overbooking that led to cramped conditions and a quarter of all flights arriving late, the LA Times reports. Consumer groups are furious. “They’re making money hand over fist at the expense of passengers,” says one advocate.

OK, got that? Capitalism BAD.  Airlines are making too much profit and hurts consumers.

Now we have complaints from several people (NPR today)  how airlines are dying because of fuel prices and then almost in the same breath how the market will let them adjust and become profitable again.

Oh, ok.  Capitalism GOOD with airlines, Bad with fuel companies.

So.  What we have then is if airlines are doing bad, then capitalism is good because it’s the way out (except for oil companies) and we should stop beating airlines down.  If airlines are profitable, it’s because of nasly ol’ capitalism and the airlines need regulation so they don’t profit off of consumers.

So really what we have is a bunch of people who want a damned Socialist State?

There’s your proof.

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My problem tonight is that I don’t want to create new content but I do not want to leave you, Constant Reader, without a source of BS (real or imagined) until I get unlazy-ed.

So for now, enjoy some links.  Some are tasty, some roadkill, some juicy, some charred silly, some… oh hell, just enjoy the *%^#$*& links, ok?


If you have kids or are a big kid yourself, treat yourself to something simple, mindless, and fun.

Or, a USB digital microscope.

When the Table of Condiments Periodically Go Bad.  Really really bad.

Flashy, but really really cool.  PicLens.  The thing is, your mind can take in an awful lot of information, and pattern matching works very very well with our brain-eye combination if things are moving.  Try it.  If you DON’T like it, I’d like to hear about what it was that you didn’t like.  Then I will mock you. No, not really.

Eh.  So what?  This happens every day after my first pot of coffee.

Neat.  Spooky.  Interesting.  Wild.  Creepy. I can continue on in that vein but I think you get it.

Why must they always ignore optics on these engineering sites?  You use optics everyday – biological ones, even – along with the electonics (wetware), and physics/mechanics (meatware), and chemistry (hormone soup).  So just try to think about optics once in a while, willya?

Oops.  I was just… uh… keeping your straw from getting dusty.

As a bicycle rider (road/touring), I have to say… I have to say something, but I don’t know what.  It turns on a DIME though.  Check out the video on that page!

I have to believe that several guys, a case of beer, and some idle time could manage an eerie form of suicide by screwing with people in this manner.

I have seen A picture, never MULTIPLE pictures. Sandstorms + Iraq = Fun? It’d sure as hell get your attention.

I did this a week ago when BBQ-ing.  It’s a method to help you to figure out what the doneness of the meat is by pushing against your hand to gauge firmness.  By pressing firmly, I was able to correctly ascertain that it was charred on the outside yet still pink/raw on the inside.  Trouble was that it was my hand.

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Rep. Fagan is already taking heat. I understand why. People read what he said and assume that he is taking the stance that he is going to relish victimizing further young rape victims on the stand. He certainly sounds gung-ho about it, but it warrants further investigation.

I think I understand what this trial lawyer was trying to say (he’s a representative) but perhaps he could have used gentler wording. Maybe not… maybe he needed to be strident to get the point across to people the fact that the Law of Unintended Consequences holds sway here, too. No matter which it is, this is hard reading. Unless I’m totally misinterpreting, he says that by going to mandatory sentences, he’s going to have to be brutal to the brutalized in order to protect his client’s rights to fair trial and ensure that no innocent person goes to jail. He’s cut to the bottom line and illustrated what is going to be the end result of this process.

“I’m gonna rip them apart,” Fagan said of young victims. “I’m going to make sure that the rest of their life is ruined, that when they’re 8 years old, they throw up; when they’re 12 years old, they won’t sleep; when they’re 19 years old, they’ll have nightmares and they’ll never have a relationship with anybody.” – Rep. James Fagan, who is a defense attorney

I’d like to think that “no innocent person goes to jails” was the goal all along.

Anyway, the father (Jessisca’s father) was interviewed:

Mark Lunsford, whose 9-year-old daughter was abducted and buried alive in a trash bag by a sex offender in 2005, told the Boston Herald on Tuesday that Fagan should take the rights of victimized children seriously.

I think Fagan was taking the rights of victimized children seriously. If you look at the context of the big picture, you have to keep in mind that the defendant is innocent until proven guilty – this means that the lawyer has every right and indeed a duty to fight as hard as he can against the charges. If proof does exist, well, it should come out. If there is any doubt, then our courts are set up to default to innocence. That’s the way it works. And, I must add, it is very very hard to remember that at times.

So here’s Fagan saying “This will be the unintended result of this kind of ruling, and it will be horrible, because the stakes are now suddenly so much higher.”

I have no complaint with what the father is feeling – frustrated. But he’s not seeing the big picture.

“Why doesn’t he figure out a way to defend that child and put these kind of people away instead of trying to figure ways for defense attorneys to get around Jessica’s Law?” Lunsford told the paper. “These are very serious crimes that nobody wants to take serious. What about the rights of these children?”

Again, he is making the assumption that just because you are in the defendant’s chair you are automatically the perpetrator, which isn’t how it works, nor is it true all of the time. Sure, find some way to close loopholes that allow obviously guilty perps from walking away free, but the fact remains, that the accused MUST be given fair representation, which is not necessarily “get(ting) around Jessica’s Law”.

I will chalk it up to his emotion, but I will say this:

EVERYONE takes the rights of these children seriously – sit down, take a breath, and think about what you are saying – high emotions are not a free-pass to plastering everybody with a “doesn’t care” label.

Legal scholars tend to agree that courtrooms are ground-zero for hard truths – which won’t necessarily even be listened to when emotions run high:

But from a legal perspective, law professor Phyllis Goldfarb said Fagan was probably expressing a basic courtroom truth – that it is a defense attorney’s job to test the prosecution’s case, especially when mandatory penalties are on the line.

“It is fundamentally true … if the proof is coming almost exclusively through a child witness you may have to find a way to test it. That’s the attorney-client obligation there,” Goldfarb told FOXNews.com.


But THIS is ok, right?

What gets me is his last sentence which allows the “husband” to do whatever he wants.

“You can have a marriage contract even with a 1-year-old girl, not to mention a girl of 9, 7 or 8,” he said. “But is the girl ready for sex or not?” What is the appropriate age for sex for the first time? This varies according to environment and tradition,” al-Mu’bi said.


At the risk of being burned alive at the stake for heresy, may I just say that I’m thanking God that our savior wasn’t a teletubby? We’d be seeing teletubbies in everything from tapioca to rhubarb crunch to grease spots in driveways to even (oh how silly this gets) to grilled cheese sandwiches.

I get really irritated and weirded out when people start needing to get all mystical “signs and portents” and the like, saying they saw Jesus in everything. And when it is considered news. No one seems to be able to say why they would be chosen to be blessed with such a thing as Jesus showing up in the placental wall of their newborn child. To be fair, no one has explained why they shouldn’t be, either, but I rather doubt it is anything more than wishful mysticism.

Man, if you want proof of a higher power… just look out your door. You don’t need to go seeing Jesus in tea leaves, talcum powder on a baby’s butt, or in rocks in your front yard. The world around you is sufficient.

I know… I’m a party-pooper.

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Construction Worker #1:  … and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Construction Worker #2:  I feel like an object.

Construction Worker #3:  Me, too.  It’s like they don’t see me for who I really am. It hurts my feelings…

What?  Huh?  What happened?  I missed something…

Confused?  You should be.  Men and women are wired differently. This is not some male plot against femi-nazis everywhere, it’s just a statement of fact. Guys do NOT think like this. Simply put, if you don’t KNOW what I mean, it cannot be explained. Take my word for it. You can trust me…

You should be confused by this.

Officials at West Kent College in Tonbridge, Kent, sent an email to all pupils warning that the behaviour was “totally unacceptable”, and saying any students caught harassing contractors would face disciplinary action.

The email was sent after a demolition team started work on a £94 million, three-year building project at the campus.

The email read: “It has come to the attention of the college that some female students have been making comments to, or whistling at, the builders both whilst on site and as they walk around the campus.

“Although we are sure no offence is meant, this constitutes harassment and is wholly unacceptable

Show me one guy who would be upset at being whistled at by college chicks and I’ll eat your… (thinking, don’t rush me)… your… kimchi and rice.  He has GOT to be mentally damaged.

Whatever happened to the day when girls were girls and men were men?


Just go look at it.  I can’t add anything.

Again. Nothing I can say.  Cool, but I can’t add to it.

If you have kids… this ought to work for ’em.  You’ll have to beat them to get them off your computer.

I can add to this. This engine is way cool for a lot of reasons.  Topmost is it is elegant, with a refreshing approach to design that makes me drool.  I think with a little work, a workable oil system wouldn’t be impossible.  But I’d need to sit and think on it for a bit.


This is the Pièce de résistance of this post.  How to build a lucid dream machine.   You can’t make this stuff up.

I’ve had three lucid dreams in my life, none while on drugs, although one involved a fever.  I could walk through walls and went down to wake up my folks and just stood there while they slept, turned around, found my sister, didn’t want to wake anyone up so I went back and laid down on the couch.  This was with a 105F fever.

The other ties were just normal everyday “holy crap I’m dreaming and I’m in the driver’s seat.

But building a lucid dream machine?  Hmmph.


Bizarre in the sense that people worry themselves about stuff like this. More concern about things that detract from real issues of today.

How English Is Evolving Into a Language We May Not Even Understand

By Michael Erard The targeted offenses: if you are stolen, call the police at once. please omnivorously put the waste in garbage can. deformed man lavatory. For the past 18 months, teams of language police have been scouring Beijing on a mission to wipe out all such traces of bad English signage before the Olympics come to town in August. They’re the type of goofy transgressions that we in the English homelands love to poke fun at, devoting entire Web sites to so-called Chinglish. (By the way, that last phrase means “handicapped bathroom.”)

But what if these sentences aren’t really bad English? What if they are evidence that the English language is happily leading an alternative lifestyle without us? (more…)


Less bizarre…
I would jump on this in a heartbeat. ONLY IF the requirements in the US to get a driver’s license were three times as stringent.

If you find yourself crossing the road in the German town of Bohmte, look both ways – and then perhaps check again.

It has scrapped all its traffic lights and road signs in a radical experiment designed to make the streets safer. Yesterday, the local council said the scheme was a complete success.

In the four weeks since the signs were ripped up, there has not been a single accident.


My buddy, The Dude, is married to a lady that, if she wasn’t sweet, nice, and decidedly sane, you would call her a “crazy cat lady”.  We will from here on out refer to her as Katt LadyKatt Lady and The Dude.  I like it.  Anyway…

She just loves cats.  They own a cat ranch, opting to keep the kitties outside but in nice warm bunks where they can come and go and are taken very good care of.  Their cats are legion.

Kinda cool, actually…  I think he could make this work for him.   Price of energy being what it is, he could offset the cost of Kat Fud.

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I was over at Weasel’s today and ran across her post regarding suicidal dogs in the UK. Now, given that dogs are normally happy creatures, I was surprised at the number of pooches that decided to pack it all in for a pair of wings by flinging themselves off of a bridge. For those of you who are not dog owners/lovers this is not normal K-9 behavior.

So I thought “How the HELL does Weasel come up with some of this stuff?”

And I got this headache, with pictures, that was pretty persistent. A co-worker calls them ideas. He’s such an idiot.

Why not pick any animal, and any odd behavior and see what comes up on Google?

Hamsters. Cannibals. Innocent enough combination of words, right?

Apparently these fuzzy little creatures don’t wait until your plane is crashed in the Andes mountains to chow down. These things are to the animal world what Jeffry Dahmer was to single-guy apartment dwellers. Except they don’t have refrigerators.




While we’re on the topic, did you know that snails get erections?


Oh? We weren’t on that topic and it was a non-sequitur? Beg pardon.

… and yes, I am screwing with you. Just looking for the stranger things I could find after just a short while. So much out there that you couldn’t catalogue it all.


On to more minor news. What’s less important than Cannibal Hamsters from Hell, after all?

Geoff over at Uncommon Misconceptions has a great world oil graph (looks good, spells crap for oil prices). He also has some very consequential news about Brits not getting fertilized if they smoke. I wasn’t aware that they needed fertilizer – they all seemed fairly healthy and proper-sized to me.



Gotta say… Politico really doesn’t have any business asking for this information. If the senators have broken laws then it is up to the law enforcement people to take care of and investigate. Right to privacy does not suddenly turn off because you are in a public office unless of course it happens while you are on the job. More power to Michael B. Enzi (R-Wyo.), whose spokeswoman said:

Sen. Enzi’s mortgage isn’t with Countrywide, and since that company is at the center of this issue, I fail to see how having a loan with another company is at all relevant.


Interesting to think about…

Essentially this is what I heard on the radio going home one day. It’s interesting to think about…

A “family” is looking to trade in one of their vehicles to save on gas. Both vehicles are driven approx the same number of miles per year.

#1. One vehicle is a van getting 10 mpg and they are thinking of trading it in on a station wagon that gets 20 mpg, or a difference of 10 mpg.

#2. The other vehicle is a sedan that gets 30 mpg, which they are thinking of trading for a hybrid that gets 50 mpg, a whopping difference of 20 mpg.

Which way should they go to save the most gas?

Converting #1 to gallons per mile: .1 gpm vs .05 gpm — a difference of .05 gpm. Trading would save 2 times the gas.

Converting #2 to gallons per mile: .033 gpm vs .02 gpm — a difference of .013 gpm. Trading would save 1.65 times the gas.

Answer: trade in the van for the station wagon. They will use almost 20% less gas by trading in the van, vs. trading in the sedan.

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Awww… shit. (can I say that on a blog?)

Man, this is a sad day. This is the guy who taught me the meaning of the word “irony”, which seems to be used in every way but the proper one. He made me laugh even as my parents recoiled in parental concern over his language. He was parental taboo.

George Carlin, 1937-2008

But dammit, he was funny and original. He was incredibly sharp and had a mind that never quit moving.

Well George… we’ll miss you. Let’s all remember him by saying some words that can never be said on TV….

Song Lyrics: I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. I say they’re my work, they’re my play, they’re my passion. Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. And then we assign a word to a thought (POP) and we’re stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them. There are some people that are not into all the words. There are some people that would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of them you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 …to 7. They must reallllly be baaad. They’d have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you 7! Baaad words! That’s what they told us they were, remember? “That’s a bad word!” (Wahhhh!) No bad words. Bad thoughts…bad intentions…and words.

You know the 7, don’t you, that you can’t say on television?
Shit, ****, ****, ****, **********, ************, and ****, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that’ll infect your soul…curve your spine…and keep the country from winning the war. ****, ****, ****, ****, **********, ************ and ****, wow! …And **** doesn’t even belong on the list! It’s such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? “Hey, ****, come here, man. Hey, ****! Hey ****, meet Toots. Toots, ****. ****, Toots.” It sounds like a snack, doesn’t it? Yes, I know, it is, right, a snack. But I don’t mean your sexist snack. I mean new Nabisco ****! And new Cheese ****! Corn ****-n, Pizza ****, Sesame ****, Onion ****. Tater ****. “Betcha Can’t Eat Just One.” That’s true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I’m not completely insensitive to people’s feelings. I can dig why some of those words got on the list, like ********** and ************. Those are…those are heavyweight words. You know. There is a lot going on there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. I mean, they’re just busy words. There’s a lot of syllables to contend with. And those Ks, those are aggressive sounds. They just jump out at you man. **********, ************, **********, ************! It’s like an assault on you, you know? So I can dig that.

Now we mentioned **** earlier of course and 2 of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are **** and ****, which go together of course, but forget that. A little accidental humor I threw in there. **** and ****. The reason that **** and **** are on the list is that a long time ago, certain ladies said, “Those are the 2 I ‘m not going to say. I don’t mind **** and ****, but ‘P’ and ‘C’ are out. ‘P’ and ‘C’ are out.” Which led to such stupid sentences as “Okay you *******, I’m going to tinkle now.”

And, of course, the word ****. The word **** – I don’t really, well that’s more accidental humor, – I don’t wanna get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean I think the word **** is a very important word. It’s the beginning of life, and yet it is a word we use to hurt one another quite often. And people much wiser than I have said, “I’d rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love than 2 people trying to kill one another.” And I, of course, can agree. It is a great sentiment, I wish I knew who said it first and I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. I’d like to substitute the word ‘fuck’ for the word ‘kill’ in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. “Okay, Sheriff, we’re gonna **** you now! But we’re gonna **** you slow.” So maybe next year I’ll have a whole ******’ rap on that word. I hope so.

There are 2-way words. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any circumstances. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny. I mean, it’s just impossible. Forget those 7, they’re out. But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words. Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? “…And the **** crowed 3 times” “Hey, tha **** crowed 3 times! Ha ha ha ha. Hey, it’s in the bible. Ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for Curt Goudy to say “Roberto Clemente has 2 balls on him.” But he can’t say “I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don’t you? He’s holding them. He must’ve hurt them, by God.” And the other 2-way word that goes with that one is prick. It’s okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger but don’t finger your prick”. No, no!

©1972 Dead Sea Music Inc., BMI

For those who want one-stop-shopping, here are the seven words, rendered only partially sanitized:

  1. Sh-t
  2. P-ss
  3. F-ck
  4. C-nt
  5. C-cks-cker
  6. M-th-rf-cker
  7. T-ts

Obviously the list has been carved into over the years since this first came out, but it was revolutionary at the time.


Cool! History preserved…

Maryland attic holds 400 years of documents

Papers provide a firsthand account of life from the 1660s through WWII

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