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Archive for June 18th, 2008

The regularly scheduled drivel/pap/tripe has been moved below the meme – scroll down to have your IQ lowered by 15% or more in 15 minutes or less.

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Another MEME

And now… on to my meme… Weasel had just posted it and I took pity on our poor mustelidae as the little critter has had interesting times lately, and I was bored, so I picked up the gauntlet.

The directions looked fairly innocuous at first blush, so without any real review beforehand, I post them. As soon as I hit “paste” it will be my first time of really processing the rules, myself.

  1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
  2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
  3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
  4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
  5. Present an image of martial discord from whatever period or situation you’d like.

1) Done. See link above, word #7 – “Weasel” Click on it. Have fun. A true artiste.

2) Seven facts…

  • I only set my alarm clock in prime numbers, repeating digits as few times as possible. Preferably not in order and odd numbers. 7:31AM is good. 8:57 is not bad, but it isn’t optimal. Increments of 5 minutes are to be avoided if at all possible.
  • I have witnessed a laser operating on a line at 385nm (thereabouts) and it is so blue-ish that you can actually perceive it but your eye cannot focus it at all – it becomes this blob of silvery-blue color that we have no name for in any language.
  • I do not turn green and destroy everything in sight if people just use the correct pronunciation “Orygun”
  • I understand the Tao of Monk (Mr. Monk)
  • I am ambidextrous and aquadextrous (go look it up)
  • Favorite TV Moment of All Time: WKRP in Cincinnati, the episode where Les Nessman releases turkeys out of a helicopter for a Thanksgiving Promotional… “Oh, they’re letting them out now… oh.. OH… OH MY GOD… they’re hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! They’re hitting cars and people are scattering! Oh the humanity!” and later… “Aw, Les, c’mon… how were you to know that turkeys can’t fly?”
  • I have broken people’s arms merely by flexing my ego

3) Tag people. Enas Yorl, Steamboat McGoo, and KC. I haven’t looked to see if they’ve been tagged yet nor will I tag a full seven people. Tag too many people and the geometric progression fizzles out too rapidly, like putting LOx on burning coals UPDATE: McGoo had to decline due to conflicting obligations – he is a contributing writer to Pravda -and- it was recently disclosed by WikiLeaks that he is actually in leagues with the evil Dr. Coypu. You have been warned.

I would tag Old Iron but I’m afraid he’ll be even more incoherenter than usual, as he is engaged in a mult-week binge.  He was last seen drinking this blue liqueur that is commonly used to clean combs and chasing it with Sterno™.

4) As soon as this is posted, I shall endeavor to do so

5) An image of marital discord. Okay.

Oh. Martial discord. Screw it. Marital-Martial Discord. Same thing.

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Why Will the Phone Just not die, Die, DIE???

You have had this happen to you, I know it. You are busy. You are engrossed in teasing out the remaining links to the Grand Unified Theory (GUT) and there are two relationships that you see tying several constants together. Or like me you were pondering what color to make a part in your solid model. When SUDDENLY, the shrill ring of your telephone pierces your brain from seventeen distinct directions simultaneously.

Should you pick it up? It could be someone annoying. It could be a loved one with bad news. It could be Heidi the Tool Girl from Home Improvement. But that’s just ridiculous. Loved ones would use the cell phone.

So you’re torn in true “Lady or the Tiger” terms. Pick it up and hate yourself or pick it up and… but the odds are as good as 50-50, right? So you reach out, pick up the phone… and…

Well, let’s just put down what happened to me, quasi-verbatim, ok? Where you see “Clancy Twerp” (not his real name) it is just a placeholder since I never remember a person’s name the first time. “Snickerdoodle Farms Connectors” is about as close as I’m going to get to the real company name. “Turnip root connectors” and “lace bowling ball feedthrus”… as you’ll see, I didn’t care, so I did not process what he was saying very well.

Anyway.

/**************************************
Me: (sigh of disgust, pick up phone)

Me: Hello?

Twerp: Hi I’m Clancy Twerp from Snickerdoodle Farms Connectors, how are you today?

Me: (Noticing on my phone display that Twerp is in the vestibule of our building) Fine. What’s this about?

Twerp: (hurriedly and in staccato delivery) Well, we deal with turnip root connectors and lace bowling ball feedthrus and I have a name here… uh… (here he uses the name of the friend who I have referred to in the past as “The Dude“).

Me: Okay. (long pause)

Twerp: I haven’t been able to reach him. Would you by any chance be interested in our connectors?

Me: Not a chance.

(crickets chirp for several seconds, then, sounds of gears grinding)

Twerp:: Ok. Who else do you think I could talk to?

Me: Maybe the guy you wanted originally, The Dude?

Twerp: Ok… right… I’ll try him.

Me: Fine, you do that.

<end of call>
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Update #2:  A coworker sent me this.  I am really agitated and disturbed.  Creepy.

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UPDATE: The Salmonella Tomato Outbreak has been attributed by some to be caused by global warming.

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Quote for Today:

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.Oscar Wilde

Oooh, this is a good one…

Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.Oscar Wilde

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Yes, it’s true! Now congressmen are seen to be openly engaging in tearful discussions on Oprah, hyperventilating at the mere mention of the words “per gallon”, and scarfing up enough valium to fell a horse.

Seems that the poor folks are getting uptight with Bush about oil.

Never mind that Bush can’t do much about OPEC that isn’t already being done, nevermind that congress tends to block his every attempt at increasing the supply, nevermind that other countries are hurting just as bad or more, nevermind that prices are artificially inflated due to speculation, nevermind that the weak dollar hurts our out-of-pocket cost, and nevermind that they won’t allow more refineries… he’s still a bastard. He must be, because we hate him. So sayeth the most cerebrally challenged congress members…

Yeah yeah yeah… whatever…

Senators Call on Bush to Take Action Against OPEC
Tuesday , June 17, 2008
WASHINGTON —
Eleven senators called on the Bush administration Tuesday to file a complaint with the World Trade Organization against eight members of the OPEC cartel, saying they are violating trade rules by colluding to hold down global oil supplies.

The senators, 10 Democrats and one independent, maintained “the very existence of OPEC” violates the GATT trade agreement that prohibits nations from setting quotas or imposing other restrictions on exports.

“The refusal of OPEC nations who are members of the WTO to play by these rules is inexcusable, and they must be held accountable,” said the senators in a letter to U.S. Trade Representative Susan Schwab.

[more…]

What do you expect anyone to do? Bomb them for oil? Ooopsie.

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Wouldn’t you know it? I won’t be in Oregon until late July. Actually for a while there you could find this in Eugene out by Veneta w/o breaking a sweat.

Wow. Hemp g-string, huh? That’s gotta chafe something awful.

Oregon Woman Plans to Parade Topless On July 4
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
AP

ASHLAND, Ore. —

A woman seen frequently in Ashland riding topless on her bicycle says she plans to be in Ashland’s Fourth of July parade free and independent of all clothing but a hemp G-string. The Chamber of Commerce says that’s contrary to the rules for the family celebration. She says she’ll sue if she can’t parade as she wishes.

Jen Moss has been known as “The Naked Lady” since she moved to Ashland in May from Ojai, Calif., drawn by the town’s nudity laws. They specify only that people must cover their genitalia in a city park or the downtown commercial district, which means Moss need not cover her breasts.

The police in California, she says, harassed her when she rode her bicycle wearing a G-string and pasties.

Moss applied for an entry for the parade, which draws thousands each year.

The Ashland Chamber of Commerce learned of her coverage plans from an online posting. She promised to lead in-line skaters “wearing only a hemp G-string and blowing a conch shell.”

“We don’t feel that someone in the parade who is topless or nearly naked is appropriate for a family audience,” said parade chairman James Kidd.

[…]

City Council member Eric Navickas said he’s on Moss’s side.

If she can’t be in the parade, Navickas said, it would be “an interesting commentary on our society that we’re willing to tolerate dead bodies through our aggressive foreign policy from the war, but not healthy, naked bodies.”

Moss told the Ashland Daily Tidings in an e-mail that if she can’t be nearly naked in the parade, she would “run around near naked protesting their unconstitutional(ism) and un-Americanism.” And she said, she would ask the American Civil Liberties Union

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I was afraid of this. Huckabee should have just set down and shut his mouth. If you can’t help in any way, at least don’t shoot one of the guys in the ass.

He says not to denigrate Obama. Ok, so now that you open this can of worms, you hamstring McCain by legitimizing ANY complaints towards McCain if he so much as frowns at Obama. It is enough of an issue already but don’t make the guy’s job a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” issue. OF COURSE you shouldn’t denigrate the man, he’s done well to get this far… but he ought to be as open to criticism as the next guy.

If McCain has a *legitimate* issue with something Obama says, which HAS to happen in a presidential election, what the hell is he supposed to do if he’s afraid of being labelled a “demonizer”?

Former US presidential contender Mike Huckabee urged his fellow Republicans on Wednesday not to denigrate Democrat Barack Obama, saying they should celebrate the historic moment of a black candidate.

“Republicans will make a fundamental if not fatal mistake if they seek to win the election by demonising Barack Obama,” Huckabee told a news conference on a visit to Tokyo.

The former Arkansas governor said that, having grown up in the segregated South, he never thought he would see an African-American win the nomination of a major party for the US presidency.

“I do not want to have anyone misrepresent or miss the opportunity to celebrate what I think is a landmark achievement, not just for Barack Obama, but for the United States of America,” he said.

o

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