To deflect the flames from afar…

SixMeatBuffet (Cranky) was kind enough to post some work of mine and as I thought about it, I figured I’d erect a flame-shield now rather than later. This graphic is my response to what Rush Limbaugh refers to as “FemiNazis”.  I’ve asked my wife, Cruel Wife, what she thinks of these individuals, and her answer led me to believe that this response is admissible.  The individuals that this is meant to irritate are generally those women who are so militantly Feminist (with a capital “F”) that they treat men displaying chivalrous qualities as dirt, often responding with harsh words and vitriol.

I can give you an example.  I once held a door for a woman who made it a point to tell me that she did not need a door held for her and that I was a jerk for assuming that she was not capable.   My FIRST response was to have her stand in a spot through which I could slam the door.  But, being brought up better than that, I did not.  I thought about it though.  So there.

So anyway, I’d seen a bumper sticker with those words:

So you’re a Feminist.  Isn’t that cute?

… and thought:  “Oh how obnoxious!”   But I felt that just the words by themselves didn’t go far enough, that perhaps something more could be done.  So with a little work and some input from Cruel Wife, I was able to put together a graphic that had her laughing hard and out loud. She suggested the little heart and the Pretty Pony.  I figured Hello Kitty™ was de rigueur but was looking for that something extra… almost but not quite the complete essence.  She really wanted me to put a Barbie Doll™ on it, too, but I felt that when shrunk down to banner/badge size on a website that too many of BD’s fine features would be lost. Cruel Wife is one of those women that believes that you can be a feminist without ceasing to be a woman. I don’t care.  As long as y’all stay at home and bake cookies, it’s fine with me.

Note: If the wife thought for one second that I meant that last line, I’d be dead… you hear me?  Dead. So don’t go gettin’ your panties in a wad because it was meant in jest.

Then again, Cruel Wife has a sense of humor beyond that of most broads.

When she was pregnant with our first child I would “moo” at her, and by the end of the pregnancy she would run into something and knock it over and go “Moooooooo” herself.  Sometime around that same time, she was lying on the bed taking a load off her lower back and I ran into the room, spritzed her with a spray bottle, and screamed “Keep her wet until we can get her back into the water!!!” And, you must note, I am still alive.  Again, if she thought for a second that I meant it in a mean way or wasn’t completely joking to lighten the mood, I’d be buried six feet under.  She is an pretty good shot with a .357 Mag.  Getting 5 of 6 shots in a 4″ circle at 50 feet good enough for me.

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Ok, if you maddened half-crazed irritated and angry women have kept up with me so far and are still torqued, I’m posturing for dramatic comedic effect.  I am not a misanthrope.  I’m an a**hole but not a misanthrope.  I’ll throw you something to take your mind off of your anger.  Look at these awesome carved eggs…

Geez, and you thought Mad Cow Disease meant bovines… not PMS or generally irritable females.

Note: Again, these are all things I joke about with my wife and she has not killed me yet.   So relax, eh?  I’m just in an ornery mood and having fun with it.  Remember, SHE READS MY BLOG.