After 87 different designs to consider in the last three days I am mindwiped. So it is Lemur Droppings Thursday! It’s like the Twilight Zone with a hell of a lot less class, creativity, or intelligence. Read on with wild abandon then.
***
You all did know that we are going to die, right? We just don’t know when. Or do we…?
DailyMail.co.uk ( pronounced: DailyMail Kook ) published this today. Apparently next week the CERN Large Hadron Collider is going to whing some really small things around really fast and they are going to slap each other harder than a red-headed stepchild and scatter atomic body parts all over and then little atomic ambulances will drive up and… well. No, not really.
Really they plan to kick these things up notches unknown to something like TeV (that’s Tera electron-volts, which is wickedly energetic short-wavelengthed nano-nanometer stuff – forget the suntan lotion) energies and then see what they do when they collide. Probably get really nasty headaches.
A Hadron Collider. Naturally. (CERN/PA)
But I’m digressing again. the DailyMail Kooks paint a spooky-scary picture of which I’m referencing only enough to give you a general idea. Go read their page, linked above.
A black hole is created and then a lot of biblical-type disasters leading up to:
The fabric of the planet itself would start to disappear, trillions of tonnes of rock, water, air and life sucked into a whirlpool of unimaginable force.
From space, our blue-and-white home would appear to vanish down a plughole in a flash of light.
At least in this scenario we would have a little time, perhaps, to come to terms with the end.
However, a second doomsday scenario is even more terrifying. There would be no warning at all.
In an instant – about one-twentieth of a second – the entire Earth would simply vanish from space.
Neat, huh? No more global warming, no more landfill issues, population pressures decrease. But it gets cooler…
Less than two seconds later, the Moon would follow suit.
Because, as we all know, the moon has never been one to blaze it’s own trails.
Eight minutes later, the Sun would be ripped apart, followed by the rest of the planets in the solar system and onwards, a wave of destruction caused by a rent in the fabric of space itself, spreading out from our world at the speed of light.
And you thought this kind of havoc could only be caused by American Idol or Carrot-Top. Nuh-uh.
Any extra-terrestrials out there would die too, in due course. And there would be nothing technology could do about it.
So I guess there’s no issue with the anniversary of 9/11.
And how the hell is technology supposed to do anything? It’s not like they have any programming for the Wii in situations like this.
Ok. So. Wanna go… someplace else? Ok.
***
Now, if this isn’t one of the sorrier excuses for a human being, I don’t know what is. His wife apparently isn’t the brightest spark either, but there’s no call for tricking your wife into putting on handcuffs, putting on a blindfold, and walking up a ladder… I mean, she trusted him. It’s not news except that he got sentenced to 12 years. She already divorced him before the verdict but I saw that as 50/50 odds considering the participants.
Moooooving right along.
***
Glad my daughter didn’t start her first week of kindergarden in Brooklyn. Bus driver lost, circles Brooklyn for FIVE HOURS.
Bus Driver Suspended After Circling With Children On Board
(POSTED September 4, 2008)
NEW YORK — The driver of a school bus that circled Brooklyn for nearly five hours while carrying about a dozen kindergartners and first-graders has been suspended.
Got that? Five hours. You’ve got to be stoned or stupid to achieve this. I’m kind of surprised that the article doesn’t dig into why/how the driver got “lost” in the beginning. They may not know…
Parents say their children were shaken by the ordeal that ended when police were called and were finally able to reach the driver.
Lovely reporter understatement – my child would have been traumatized. Let’s just be glad they all got home in one piece.
Lemur King's Folly 