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Archive for October 15th, 2008

No, not the trip to work every day.  Yes, the roads are bad enough, but cars driven by zombies don’t normally eat your brains.

Take a look at Item #1: A book on the net.  Really.  It is called…

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead

It's a real book.

Well, an entire book is good and all if you have memorized it, and is probably the best of it’s kind on the market, but it is hardly safe as a snap reference when in a tight bind, e.g. being stalked by groaning, oozing, brain-eating zombies.

So, for example, while a cube-denizen whom we shall call “Phil” is frantically looking for page 74, where there is this cute little diagram and a bullet-list wherein item 23 says “Aim for the head” he’s going to “get recruited” and start moaning “Brrrrraaaaaaaaaaaainssssss” because he couldn’t find it in time.

This, of course, is tragic.  And unnecessary.  It could have been avoided with a good quick-reference guide, Item #2, such as a flyer printed on recycled paper (going green):

Click to embiggen. It's not a real product.

No, I’m not suggesting you shoot him – for it does bear an uncanny resemblance to some celebrity, does it not? – but rather if you see a zombie as scary as this (by referring to your handy flyer as a reference identification is a snap), you can quickly refresh your memory of the proper procedure – especially if they are groaning, oozing, brain-eating zombies.

Note:  Any resemblance to any person real, fictional, alive, or dead is purely coincidental.  Undead resemblance – that was intentional.

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An individual whose brains were apparently eaten but was still not inducted into “the club” as he was found lacking…  Democratic U.S. Rep. Tim Mahoney was found to be cheating on his mistress.  The bastard!

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I am sure that the enviro-zombies are moaning that this was predicted by their global warming models.

Grape Slurpees coming right up.

Eastern Oregon Shivers.

In general, the weather this summer was the worst I have seen in at least 20 years.” – U.S. Geological Survey glaciologist Bruce Molnia, bitching about the thickening of the glaciers.

Funny, but that last article…

Two hundred years of glacial shrinkage in Alaska, and then came the winter and summer of 2007-2008.

Got that?  TWO HUNDRED YEARS OF GLACIAL SHRINKAGE.   I thought it was man-made and this century’s hedonism that has hurled us down the fiery trail to destruction.  Guess not.

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A great graphic for a food item even if it will give you food poisoning… Wealth Spread!

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