Archive for March, 2009

Note:   The original post is below the updates… in the section labeled ****Meow Meows****

Update #3:  Last update for today…

Ohio Man Charged With DUI After Crashing Motorized Bar Stool


Update #2:  Needs no words.


Update #1:

District 203 decides against hosting Bill Ayers at Naperville North

Second source here.

The high school educators decided that it might be nice to have a terrorist come talk to their kids and spew his anti-US sentiments around.  The idea wasn’t well received.

Superintendent Alan Leis said Monday morning he had received more than 100 e-mails and numerous phone calls about Ayers’ scheduled appearance and decided “it just wasn’t appropriate. Any (educational) value here is completely lost.”

“It is truly amazing the level of anger and emotion around this issue,” he said.

My responses:

  1. There was no educational value to begin with
  2. If you are surprised by the level of anger and emotion you need to be removed from your job immediately
  3. There is a tiny bit of hope in that enough people spoke up and said “This is wrong, dammit.”

Leis is, by all appearances, a genuine idiot.

“I only focused on how fascinating it would be for students to talk to someone who had a role in the presidential campaign,” he said.

Since then, though, he said he has done more research into Ayers’ background and “it’s very hard to figure out who this guy is,” he said.

Only focusing on what Ayer’s role in the presidential campaign is myopic at best.  Sadly there wasn’t ENOUGH focus on Ayer’s connection to Obama during the campaign.  THE MAN IS A TERRORIST.

I take back part of #2 above… Leis needs to be removed immediately.  If he cannot figure Ayers out based on history and the man’s own declarations, he’s not qualified to be within 500 feet of a school unless it’s remedial courses for himself.

Oooh, a fifth columnist inside the school (a teacher) invited Ayers  – emphasis mine:

Ayers was invited to speak by Naperville North history teacher Kermit Eby, a former student of Ayers’.

… [stuff]…

Eby also has come under fire for issuing the invitation and district officials came to his defense in their e-mail.

“What was most unfortunate was that a few directed their anger toward an outstanding high school and at a well-regarded, award-winning teacher who encourages students to think for themselves,” the e-mail said.

I’m fairly sure that while students are “encouraged to think for themselves” they’d meet the same kind of  “debate” seen on college campuses across the nation during indoctrination week.

****Meow Meows****

Our government is going to launch a website:

The feds will warn of depression, suicidal thinking and other serious mental illnesses. It will raise warning flags for: Persistent sadness/crying; Excessive anxiety; Lack of sleep/constant fatigue; Excessive irritability/anger.

Wow.  This is like, dude, just what I like, you know… needed?

You see, I was getting my nails done down at Geoff’s Salon… you know Geoff… I love him because he knows how a man’s hands need different kinds of care… anyway, I heard about this gal who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this gal whose pet’s veterinarian’s ex-wife’s grocer knew this guy that was really bummed about the recession.

And I got to thinking about his sadness… and I burst into tears myself <sob>!  I mean, this is terrible.

I’d normally crack a joke that mocked effeminate stereotype men of a different persuasion, but that’s an insult to them.  We’re talking here about bona-fide pussies.  A bunch of frakking wusses.

I don’t mean about being sad, depressed, anxious, sleep issues, irritability, etc.  That’s normal human being stuff.  But to be such a simp that you need the gov’t to tell you about that?  Gimme a break.

Well, on the off chance you are a simp, go here.

But just understand… men and women involved with WWII, lived through the Great Depression, the Civil War, the Spanish Flu… they all think you’re pussies if you need the gov’t to tell you what to think about how you feel.  They were made of sterner stuff.

Or, if you are one of the ones that voted Obama and his ilk in… perhaps that is what you need after all.


An example of a loser.  And he’s a cop.

NFL Player Detained While Rushing to Dying Mother-in-Law Accepts Officer’s Apology

If someone says something like this, escort them to the hospital and if they’re lying, cuff ’em.  But no, it had to be taken to another level:

The officer pulled out his gun and threatened Moats with jail as the player pleaded to be allowed to go inside the hospital. Moats’ mother-in-law died before he got there while Powell write Moats a ticket and lectured him.

Nice, huh?

I was super late for my wedding because the detailers had a rectal-cranial inversion thing going on.  I laid a patch of rubber going out of that parking lot, screamed through a yellow left turn… and got pulled over.

Once the cop heard me say “I’m late for my wedding, dude” and saw the tux on the seat, he said “Just slow it down, get outta here.”

No reason why a little common sense can’t be exercised by the police.


Good for her…

Angie Harmon: I’m Not Racist Because I Disagree With Obama

“Here’s my problem with this, I’m just going to come out and say it. If I have anything to say against Obama it’s not because I’m a racist, it’s because I don’t like what he’s doing as President and anybody should be able to feel that way, but what I find now is that if you say anything against him you’re called a racist…”   – Angie Harmon on her frustration with labelling

… she’ll still be crucified for speaking her mind – by Hollywood.

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Plague-Boy™ Suit

A co-worker of mine recently showed up with multiple diseases in his system.  His work ethic was admirable even if he was oozing out orifices and potentially a chicken-pox carrier.

That said, everything he touched was crawling with death.

Thus, a new product was born.


plague-boy (PDF Version)

The co-worker in question thought it needed an “exremental overpressure valve, at 30psi”.  Great thought, just so it doesn’t become some nasty pressure-vessel about to explode, but it’s putting in a place where containment can be breached.  Nix that.


Did anyone really think the global warming thing was over?  Not until the UN gains control over everything.

Redistributing wealth.

A New World Economy.


Way long time ago, VP Cheney’s daughter’s lesbian status was big news and I said “WHO THE HELL CARES?”

Now there’s dirt on Biden’s daughter:

Video Offered for Sale Purports to Show Biden’s Daughter Snorting Cocaine

And I’ll say it again… WHO CARES?  So what?  Leave her alone.  She has zero to do with the offices of VP and President.

She may have been snorting Sweet-N-Low for all you know.   Or like a classmate did years ago in high school – snorted ground-up menstrual-cramp pills in english class.


Just think how bad it’d be if he was a teeth-filing blood-drinking conservative and hated the environment.

President visits G20 with entourage of 500.

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Update #3: Cruel Wife turns 40!  Might have been last week, but she sure the hell is 40 today.  The plan is to go get Moroccan sea bass, lamb & couscous, and perhaps a lobster bisque.

Ooops.  Wrong picture.  Happy Birthday CW!!!   Smeep.



Update 2:


Update 1: Paying Gitmo Detainees to Live on US Soil.

All this talk of shipping them off to other countries is just terrible.
hey deserve to be here, they’ve paid their dues.

Announce three days ahead of time that a train will pull through a certain area of the desert (away from any solar power farm), at GPS coordinates XXX-XXX-XXX and make one stop, letting off 240 free men.

People who would like to wish them well in their new life in the US may show up promptly at 12pm to greet them.


This better sting like hell.



Could someone tell me what the f*ck it is with this guy?  We gotta help the economy we gotta help the ec0nomy we gotta help the economy… and then he turns right around and shoots it in the ass with a huge silver bullet treated with cyanide.

Why not raise taxes and spending, too, while we’re at it?  Ooops.


So finally Congress stops worrying about AIG, the economy, tax simplification, the budget, and all that silly-assed stuff and gets right to work on how college football rankings are chosen.

WASHINGTON (AP) – Everyone from President Barack Obama on down to fans has criticized how college football determines its top team. Now senators are getting off the sidelines to examine antitrust issues involving the Bowl Champion Series.The current system “leaves nearly half of all the teams in college football at a competitive disadvantage when it comes to qualifying for the millions of dollars paid out every year,” the Senate Judiciary’s subcommittee on antitrust, competition policy and consumer rights said in a statement Wednesday announcing the hearings.

Yep.  Gettin’ closer to the time to drain the swamp.  Yessirrrrreeeee.

Damn.  They decided to return to worry about things that they ought not worry about

The House Financial Services Committee on Thursday adopted a milder alternative to a bill passed last week that would have taxed away 90 percent of employee bonuses from companies getting federal bailout money. The new legislation would let bailed-out companies pay bonuses as long as the government determines the compensation is not “unreasonable or excessive.”

Soooo, if a particular minor player in congress later decides (while they are PMS’ey or have “little man’s syndrome”) that they want to get pissy about a particular company, they can decide that some compensation is in this case unreasonable or excessive.


In this imperfect universe I am unable to stop thinking about AIG.  Congress and their punitive taxation.  And how many people have no idea what constitutional intents really were.  The lynch mob to take out AIG (including congress) ought to read this:

“The ordaining of laws in favor of one part of the nation, to the prejudice and oppression of another, is certainly the most erroneous and mistaken policy. An equal dispensation of protection, rights, privileges, and advantages, is what every part is entitled to, and ought to enjoy.”

Benjamin Franklin, Emblematical Representations, circa 1774

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UPDATE: Apparently Craig is (a) lonely, (b) a whack-job, (c) having fun, or (d) all of the above.  Really.

UPDATE #2: Physics of toilet-paper.  (thanks to Cranky pointing out this important source – more important than cold fusion, folks)

UPDATE #3: She wuz lected fairn square.  And Ms. Corrine Brown has a munications degree, too.  You GOTTA follow the link and look at the posted graphic translation at iowahawk’s… a rosetta stone for “stupit”, as it were.

UPDATE #4: Good feeling’s gone.

At the same time, there is a growing impression across Europe that the Obama administration is inept and inefficient and increasingly poorly managed.

A top European Union politician on Wednesday slammed Obama’s plans for the U.S. to spend its way out of recession as “a way to hell.”


Still bowling 7-10 splits, Obama shows that he just ain’t gettin’ it.

Click to embiggenify.

Click to embiggenify.

Big headlines in a breathy voice…  Obama Upgrade: Teleprompters Swapped for Giant TV Monitor for News Conference like this is Pulitzer Prize material or worthy of a parade.

“He read that opening statement from one massive TV monitor from the back and middle of the East Room. White House officials removed the normal glass teleprompters that usually are positioned on both sides of the podium. That change likely a reaction to the focus on the President’s heavy use of teleprompters.

Gee, do you THINK?

It wasn’t really the TelePrompTer thingy, it has been what he was saying, how he was saying it, and how badly it got mangled.  Mangled BS uttered is still just spewed BS.

It must be pointed out that a teleprompter by any other name is still a teleprompter.  (Barack Obama’s Teleprompter’s Blog)

Here’s the alternate image.

This version just has a different caption to the image.

This version just has a different caption to the image.

I didn’t have anything constructive to say about tonight’s speech, I just wanted to be meanspirited about it since I’m in a mood.  The transcript is here.


Obama has moved us into “Overseas Contingency Operation” state of alert.  Those three words together mean absolutely nothing, which I guess was the point.  Graphic comes to you courtesy of Capricious Half-Breed.


Reporters live to write headlines like these:

US sperm bank offers stimulus deals

No one took credit for this piece.  Bummer.

Personally I think the subtitle should read:

Watch your money GROW!

I wanted to put all manner of phallic symbols in here with a dollar bill cleverly blended into the image.  I’m too tired.  Go picture it instead, please.

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Fish ‘Nads.

UPDATE: I cannot recall the last time I was this creeped out.  Zombies for Obama – a Training Video.  Video is real (I think) the mocking title is mine.  This was posted over at http://obacalypse.blogspot.com Thanks to The Dude for passing this on.


Wow.  You get to eat fish ‘nads and risk death at the same time.  This certainly is more efficient than eating the ‘nads of an ordinary rainbow trout and then drinking randomly from a box of bulging cans of green beans.  (sperm sac, ‘nads, whatever)


Fugu. ‘Nads to die for.

Tiger fugu is considered the filet mignon of blowfish, coveted, according to the twisted logic of fugu connoisseurs, for both its distinctive flavor and its unparalleled concentration of lethal toxins. And the shira-ko is among the most potentially fatal parts of the famously poisonous fish. Of all the dishes served in all the restaurants in all the world, you could argue, the particular seafood delicacy I’ve come fourteen time zones and 6,800 miles to ingest is the one that’s most likely to kill me dead.

I like sushi.  No, I love sushi.  Gonna have to draw a line at neurotoxins.


Courtesy of The Patriot Post


Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are modifying their behavior to take advantage of what they expect to be a new set of societal norms in the next four to eight years. This black bear has ceased hunting and, instead, has begun to merely sit outside a U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service office, waiting to be fed and to have his winter den dug by government employees. In honor of what is believed to be the cause of this behavior, area residents are calling him "Bearack Obama."



Who knew that there wasn’t a lot of oversight when Hillary gave the bonehead panic button to the Russians?  Certainly it was unthinkable.  Who could have guessed that “reset” could be mistranslated as “overcharge” in Russian?

Big dust-up.  Denial, fear, loathing, more denial.  Then the blame was accepted, finally.

Said Clinton’s Senate press secretary Philippe Reines in an e:mail:

Ultimotely [sic], this was my soul [sic] risponsibility [sic], knobody [sic] else’s in or out of the bilding [sic]. While the Russians laffed [sic] off the error and accepted the gift in the spirit of coperation [sic] that it was meant, I’ve been sic [sic] about the misteak [sic] since, espeshully [sic] that I let drown [sic] the Secertary [sic] and the fine perfessionals [sic] at the State Dipartment [sic].

Ok, so perhaps it read this way in reality:

Ultimotely [sic], this was my soul [sic] risponsibility [sic], nobody else’s in or out of the building. While the Russians laughed off the error and accepted the gift in the spirit of cooperation that it was meant, I’ve been sic [sic] about the mistake since, especially that I let down the Secretary and the fine professionals at the State Department.

Still looks bad from front to back.

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Nope, not the economy.  Bees.  (yes, the economy does sting however, like nettles)

Man Survives ‘Killer Bee’ Attack, Stung Couple Thousand Times

Monday, March 23, 2009

LAS VEGAS —  A 53-year-old man remained hospitalized Monday, two days after being stung “a couple thousand times” …

… the man accidentally disturbed a nest of Africanized honey bees, also known as “killer bees,” when he overturned a boulder while operating a backhoe Saturday.

The man was listed in stable condition in the intensive care unit at St. Rose Dominican Hospital-Siena campus.

I’ve been stung 24 times at one time.  That.  Sucked.  Ass.

This poor bastard… several thousand times.  Benadryl.  Morphine.  Ice.   Whatever, just do it fast, eh?  Perhaps all of it?  He certainly doesn’t need meat tenderizer.

Worldnet Daily:  Suggesting eligibility proof gets congressman scorned

A new congressman [U.S. Rep. Bill Posey] has proposed a bill that would require future presidential candidates to document their eligibility. That has earned him scorn and ridicule, including this gem from MSNBC commentator Keith Olbermann: “What you should do is stop embarrassing yourself and take the Reynolds Wrap off your head.”

How ’bout that?  If you do something as silly as suggest that presidential candidates be constitutionally eligible then it means you are into autoerotic asphyxiation.  Makes me wonder what Olbermann does in his spare time that this imagery should occur to him.


When is stimulus just porkulus and not stimulus?  When Walter Williams puts it far better than I could, that’s when.

Could it be that the US isn’t as culpable as the world would like to believe?  I’m guessing that the truth lies between the extremes.  Question is, how much?


The buck stops here and once you break it you own it.  Strong words to have to live by, Obama.

There’s no doubt, if you review the period since his election last November, his moves since becoming president, his most recent book advance and his future earnings as a celebrity, Obama certainly has a talent for getting and using other people’s money. That’s a fist bump for him. But what will it be for us?

I heard on NPR this morning (know thine enemy, I say), specifically the Diane Rhem show, a caller ask about how if gov’t floats all this money to various entities and a profit is actually realized on a rebound economy, how does the money get back to us?

The “expert” they had on… I had a belly laugh and nearly drove off the road.  His reply was that if a profit is realized and it goes back to the federal coffers…

Are you ready for this?

If it goes back to the Fed then next year we get lower taxes.


Surely he was either a comedian or the most ignorant libtard ever to walk the face of the earth.


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Wow.  That’s news.

Tomorrow will be a shocking expose telling all about how Bill Clinton has an ego and is a womanizer.  I know.  I know.  Shocking.


While I completely support the desire to remain kosher, I am a bit confused… just what is the penalty if you are jewish and eat non-kosher food unwittingly?

Understandable that they were angry, but was this warranted?  If someone out there is jewish and can fill me in on this I’m curious.  Yes, I could read wikipedia, but that is not the same as hearing it from a real live person.

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clicking it embiggens it

Added some color.  Some swooshy.  Used colors from the grand old “Hope” poster.  Washed ’em out.  Seemed fitting.

Thanks to iamfelix for the link to iowahawk, where Obama talks about ‘tards.   (this is satire, folks)


The O-Messiah shows that yet again without his prompter he is incapable of speaking things that reek of intelligence.

Obama Apologizes for Calling His Bad Bowling ‘Like the Special Olympics’

My personal feelings?  I’m glad you asked.  Frankly I think it is a non-issue when 90% of the people out on the streets have probably said something at some point in their lives that used “special olympics” to make a joke.


click it = embiggen

An entire episode of Seinfeld was at the expense of the handicapped.  Ditto South Park.

Get.  Over.  It.  Just stop being (1) so overly-sensitive, and (2) hypocritical.

Where I choose to criticize Obama is that a supposed “cut-above” individual (I want my president to be a six-σ kind of guy, sorry) ought to be able to police his mind/thoughts enough to realize when he’s speaking that what is about to come out his mouth next is probably not a good idea.  If he’s that incapable of thinking quickly on his feet, we have a problem.

You could say that verbally-speaking the man is unsteady enough on his feet to need double-wide shoes.


Way way back in the mists of time (last summer) I pondered about what might be the result of Iran blockading the Strait of Hormuz as a retaliation against the US should we attack their nuke facility.

Strait of Hormuz

Strait of Hormuz

Well, isn’t this just something very nearing irony?  (but still not quite)

MANAMA, Bahrain

Two U.S. Navy vessels — a nuclear-powered submarine and an amphibious ship — collided before dawn Friday in the mouth of the Persian Gulf, one of the world’s most important sea passages for oil supplies.

I’d be willing to bet that things got really exciting immediately following the collision as both craft went to high alert.

Thankfully nuke material was not released or we’d be paying $250 a barrel for oil for quite some time and Obama’s ridiculously rosy projection for the economy would look really stupid.


This is days old, but apparently people exercising their free speech are hurting people’s feelings and endangering the very future of their city.

SALISBURY — In her final State of the City address, Salisbury Mayor Barrie Parsons Tilghman warned residents of what she sees as a great danger to the city: malicious bloggers.

Where did we get all these people who grew up in such sterile environments that they cannot handle criticism of any kind?  The ratio of spinless organisms to vertebrates seems awfully high.

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