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Archive for May, 2009

[Warning:  I don’t feel good today and I’m “In a Mood”.  I’m no more vicious than Ann Coulter, however.]

Good grief, get a load of the sob story…

Doctors Discover Dallas Twins Have Two Different Dads

Paternity tests then revealed what had happened — two eggs had been fertilized by two different sperm and there was a 99.99% chance the twins had different dads.

Washington later admitted she had had an affair and got pregnant by two different men at the same time.

Out of all people in America and of all people in the world, it had to happen to me“, she told myfoxdfw.com. “I’m very shocked.

Yeah, it’s a shame such hardships should happen to a sweet innocent slattern tramp harlot slut lady like yourself, ma’am.

The real losers in all this (not Loser, like their mom) are the boys, to be born to a mother commonly referred to as “the town pump”.  How hard is it to project out and imagine how many men had to get paternity tested to find out which two guys were the father?

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Update 2:  Now evening.  Late evening.

Hurts like a bejeezus now that the anesthetic has completely worn off (hours ago, actually).   What I thought earlier was “worn off” was only “partially worn off”.   Damn.  And it’s going to be two more hours for a painkiller.

Mostly headache until I turn my head, tip it forward or back, or cock it to either side.  As long as I don’t do any of that shi… uh… stuff, I’m ok-.  Ish.   Did I mention two more hours?

As I was telling buddy Enas over at The Anomaly, it took me four epidurals to finally remember on #5 to ask the doc what he planned right before the procedure.

He walks in and I said “So Doc, what’s on the agenda?”  He briefly told me what he intended to do and then he knocked me out.   Based on my observed status, sensations, and side-effects he shot all manner of industrial  solvents into my neck… diesel, benzene, naptha, pure ethanol, and MEK.  Think he had some methylene chloride and acetone in there, too.

Maybe even a pinch of salt and some cayenne pepper to ‘wake things up’ a bit.

Two more hours… Time really passes slowly when you’re less than comfortable.   Spent ten days in the hospital once after a multiple compound fracture of my right arm.  It was a very very long ten days.  Longest thirty years of my life.   It’s better in this instance, though.  Two more hours will happen about six days from now.

Update: Got the shot this morning.

Up until about 45 minutes ago I had started to wonder if I was going to get away with a pain-free procedure.

Uh.  No.  The anesthetic wore off.

Galvanizing is a good word.  Bracing, strident, invasive, gripping, exquisite, and insistent are also good adjectives. The primary noun being pain.

Injection was middle of the neck between C6 and c7.  Just goes to show you what I know about medicine!

So I’m going to just sit here quietly, not moving a bit.  If I have to I’ll breathe now and then but that’s the limit.  I put on my diapers so I won’t even have to get up – I’ll just “go” right where I am at.  Kind of like gaming at a LAN party.

Oh yes… The Dude sent me this… where are your taxes going?

budget-22f

Next are meat business cards… beef jerky is nice and all, but put mine on a smoked rib, thank you.

jasonsmeatcard****

Welp, the next big pain in the neck is tomorrow morning.

I couldn’t rightly tell you what the procedure will be with any more detail.  I do know that the symptoms indicate c5 and c6 involvement and then add in whatever headache problems indicate.   Pain along the sides of the neck (I’m told) are great diagnostics for joint condition – actually are the only manual indicator of issues there.

CE- contrast

Ouchie - contrast material injected.

So the odds… out of four cervical epidural-type procedures, one was painful but bearable.  The other three were agonizing.  That means the odds of haing a painful day tomorrow are totally uncalculable.  Wouldn’t even hazard a guess.

Lots of really cool pictures here.  That is, they’re cool if it isn’t you they’re being done to.

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Where do they find principals to do these dumb things?  Is it an accredited program, how to behave like an ass?  I don’t know, but there sure seem to be a high percentage of them.

Apparently a Scottish-ancestry boy is engaging in cross-dressing if he wears a kilt to school.  Oh yah, those highlanders are all evil sheephumping fags.  (note the dripping sarcasm, please)  What kind of moron couldn’t see that the kid handn’t done anything wrong?  Well this kind, of course…

Weber School District spokesman Nate Taggart says Craig Jessop has been asked to extend an apology to 14-year-old student Gavin McFarland of Hooper after the school official’s comments Wednesday.

simpsons-willie

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What a bunch of racists over at Fox.

Three of the four Hubble spacewalks so far have been delayed by niggling problems, like stubborn bolts and objects that wouldn’t fit. A fifth and final spacewalk is set for Monday.

Did you see it?  Huh, did you?  It’s a story about the Hubble and they have to make it a racial thing.

Note:  If you couldn’t see that I was mocking the racial bedwetters then you need to find something more your speed, like Teletubbies.

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I love how Government Motors may use our tax money.  They’ll save GM jobs (ahem) by using our tax money in some unspecified way and importing Chinese autos.

GMSEAL-small

It's a big picture... click it.

DETROIT (AP) – As thousands of General Motors workers await word on more U.S. plant closures, reports that the company plans to import Chinese-made vehicles to the U.S. have created a political problem for the automaker and the White House.

The reports, which GM will neither confirm nor deny, could mean trouble because GM is supported by $15.4 billion in U.S. government loans, largely due to the Obama administration’s desire to preserve the company’s 90,000 U.S. jobs.

If you’re going to save GM, SAVE IT.  Don’t go throwing that money to China, OK?  I know several GM workers that would give their left leg to negotiate a way to even retain some smaller fraction of their job/wages, as long as they had one at all.

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Ah, poor San Fran Nan.  The Medusa has met her match.
Innocent people don’t implode – not at her level.   She’s way too wobbly to have been a “victim” of misinformation.

http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/may/15/curl-speaker-misspeaks/

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As a co-worker, The Butcher of Lansing, said:

I don’t know if they just think this is all a big party or if the press just has no respect for Gibbs. Either way, it’s hard to take the White House seriously when this kind of thing goes on.

He was referring to the White House Press Corps who seem to be a bunch of adolescents with little or no professionalism, wanting to talk to their little friends while the grownups have grownup meetings.   Supposed grownup meetings.

My take?

Lack of respect for Gibbs wouldn’t do it. I mean, I respect Gibbs about as much as the average flatworm.

Egocentrism.  Egocentrism would explain it.  Hubris.  Perhaps a pinch of narcissism.  And a dash of cretinism.   And no maturity whatsoever.

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How to make a better DVR out of an old PC.  Well isn’t that interesting?

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Reminiscent of Iran’s Anti-Vice police we’re watching our democratic-controlled… uh… everything… raise taxes on things that they deem worthy of higher taxes than others.

For some reason, for some people,  it doesn’t bother them to single out certain types of people based on skin color, wealth, ideology, or religion.

WHO THE HELL ARE WE TALKING ABOUT?  THE DEMOCRATSWhat???

I woke up in bizzaro-land this morning, kids, because that’s what they’ve been accusing conservatives of for years.

It’s a time of state-sanctioned and indeed, state-derived social-engineering and coercion.

How’s That Obama Vote Working For You?

Update 1: Seriously, this doesn’t scare you silly?

WASHINGTON — The Obama administration has begun serious talks about how it can change compensation practices across the financial-services industry, including at companies that did not receive federal bailout money, according to people familiar with the matter.

Update 2:  The folks at Fox have published a list of “This Year’s Top Illusions

Is it too late to add Obama to the list?  It’s shown that he can fool at least 50% of the people (tested by ballot, high degree of certainty due to millions of samples).

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Pookie18… thanks for posting it where I’d see it.  Note the GoComics.com – go there and have some fun.

fear-du-jour****

Weird.  When the ACLU and I agree for completely different reasons.  Either way, we’re in step on this and this only:  Obama is a wanker for saying he’ll be transparent and then going back on as many instances as possible.

The Abu Graib photos ought not be released because they serve no purpose if released and they do act as enemy aid by being galvanizing.

I don’t want to know every last detail.  While you should never blindly trust your gov’t there is a certain amount of “need to know” stuff that has to happen – secrets kept, resources guarded, resources allocated.  To give that away is asking to get smacked by “the bad guys”.

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A title like this:  ‘Good Bad’ Economy Inspires Consumers as Slump Eases

It tells me that overall, individual results aside, the economic situation was either not severe enough for people to learn lessons about living beyond cautious and safe means – OR – we’re just really stupid.

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Winner of the Biggest Non-News Item of the Day Award (for today) goes to the AP for their happy little piece titled: Kremlin:  Battles Over Energy May Lead to Wars“.
Well, DUH.  Why do you think I could care less about our dependence on foreign oil?  I mean, sure it’d be nice if we weren’t beholden at all to these crazed states that seem to have gotten most of that viscous gooey black gold.  But here’s the simple question to keep in mind:

When the world’s supplies are dwindling for real and for keeps, whose oil do you want to have been burning – the stuff in your back yard or theirs?   You want to have burned everyone else’s oil FIRST and keep yours for the real crunch that may come.

If everybody is out, no biggie.  If almost everybody is almost out, you’d rather the other guy be almost-ed-er out than you because you are then the guy that can beat off the other starving jackals.  The hope is we’ve invested in alternate energy on the off chance that we run out.

But sure as God made little green men, if energy gets scarce enough to cause starvation of the populace then yes, there will be wars for oil, because face it, in this day and age   OIL = FOOD,  OIL = ECONOMY, and OIL = HEAT.

I may get dinged for this, but I’m not 100% convinced that hydrocarbons can’t be formed at high temperatures and high pressures in the earth.  Think about the ramifications if oil isn’t as non-renewable as everyone thought.  They’ve also produced oil in labs with high temperature and pressure.  Not saying I’m convinced either way, but I’ve got an open mind about it.

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Interesting spam subject line of the day:

Support your custard launcher. – thanks to Adjao Adalm, whoever you are


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Ooooh, it TINGLES!

I am full of nothing but disgusted resignation – disgust at the gullibility of over 50% of our population.

But Mr. Obama has already been president for more than a hundred days, and passing the hundred-day mark, irrelevant milestone as it may be, was cited as dead-solid proof that the president is the messiah he told everyone he was. Reality, however, has begun to cast a shadow over the White House, still as faint as the bright golden haze on the meadow but visible enough. “Blaming George” still makes a tingle run up the legs of all the hymn-singing true believers, but outside the embrace of the cult, that tingle is beginning to sting instead. This is Mr. Obama’s government now.  – WA Times

Sad to say but it’s going to be not with a bang but a whimper, the process of having the truth dawn on the cult members, as the tingle running up their legs turns into a tinkle running down them.

The White House on Monday said the new estimate of the budget deficit would nearly reach $2 trillion – that’s trillion, with a “t” – and that’s nearly 13 percent of the entire gross domestic product. Pretty gross any way you spin it, and the president’s men (and women) are spinning it as best they can. Alas, the country’s predicament, if not yet the president’s, is probably worse than it looks.

The projected budget deficit is four times larger than the deficit record set last year. We can blame that one on George, but George, big spender that he was, turns out to have been a tightwad. Maybe this is the “change” Mr. Obama promised. Yes, he did.  – again WA Times

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Once again showing that my respect was not misplaced, Jeremy Clarkson does what most of us can only hope to do… have a kick ass time either going really fast or destroying things utterly.

Skeet shooting, Clarkson’s way.

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I would think that after 35 years of bathing I’d have zero chance of having a son – or a daughter – or any kind of relationship whatsoever.  But hey, more power to you, I guess.  Wonder where he got the idea that by being a filthy disgusting human being it would up his chances of having a boy?

Wonder why no one has asked:  Hey, how’s that workin’ for ya?

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Lord have mercy on your hide if you crack a joke about Madam Speaker Pelosi but apparently you have a lot of growing up to do – as well as grow thicker skin – if you disagree with the president’s court jester spouts off about hoping that Rush Limbaugh’s kidneys fail.

Keep an eye out, folks.

“Comrades!” he cried. “You do not imagine, I hope, that we pigs are doing this in a spirit of selfishness and privilege? Many of us actually dislike milk and apples. I dislike them myself. Our sole object in taking these things is to preserve our health. Milk and apples (this has been proved by Science, comrades) contain substances absolutely necessary to the well-being of a pig. We pigs are brainworkers. The whole management and organization of this farm depend on us. Day and night we are watching over your welfare. It is for your sake that we drink that milk and eat those apples.” – George Orwell’s Animal Farm

Yeah, both jokes were tasteless, but so is the disparity in responses.

I expect better behavior from my president, too. At least Bush had the decency to not be so public about it.

[Later…]

It just occurred to me… Truly, Rush should wear this as a badge of honor.  I mean, really, if you are going to be accepted by this bunch of egomaniacs and sycophantile adherents then you’re doing something really wrong.  If they hate you, you know you’re on the right track.  (I like that word “sycophantile”.)

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Speaking of animals… let’s talk equalizing methods.  Like explosives.  The US Forest Circus and their wacky ways.

obliterating animals with explosives

I got the link from McGoo who got it from Weasel who got it from… I don’t know where the heal Weas got it from.  Allen was involved though.  I think that’s what McGoo said.  Anyway, there you are.

With enough explosives, all animals ARE equal.

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This is SO typical of the liberal mindset.  A small percentage of the world is blind and travelling the streets by themselves, so why does every single car owner need to put a noisemaker on their car – racking up additional costs and contributing to noise pollution, which was one of the few benefits to an electric car?

Think about that for a minute.

HOW ABOUT WE PUT SENSORS ON THE BLIND PEOPLE THAT PICK UP AN INFRARED OR ELECTRICAL SIGNAL FROM THE CAR AND MAKE NOISE IN THE BLIND PERSON’S HEADPHONES?

Really, how damn hard is that?  Why does the rest of the world have to accommodate YOUR disability?  I don’t get closed captions at the movie theater but you don’t hear me bitching about that.

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While I feel for the guy given that he went into shock over pickles on his burger, you have to remember that the world is an imperfect place and that the wages at a Burger King aren’t high enough to recruit and retain the most competent in society (generally).

So why not check your own burger if you live with an allergy that is so life-threatening?  Nah.  Take a walk on the wild side and then sue if that doesn’t work out.

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Update: Saw this over at doubleplusundead, and it takes precedence over anything else you’ll read here.  It’s a two-hanky kind of thing, and it puts our soldiers where they should be – in our highest respect.

More here on US Army 1st Lt. Brian Brennan.   As far as I’m concerned all of our servicemen/servicewomen are heroes, but stories like Brian’s should be told because of his unstoppability.

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It’s a mocking post, so lets be really annoying then, shall we?  The snippet of news in the graphic was fresh fairly recently although it may have been missed by most.

Mohammeds Secretclick to enlargenzoomify

So I says to myself, “Self, how would you poke obnoxiously at a set of values that puts everyone in this kind of asinine situation?”

Let’s just say that if you are a woman in Saudi Arabia trying to buy a bra… this has to really suck ass.

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Ok, this is terrible.  It’s funny.  It’s got a bad word in it.  Don’t read the bad word.  Laugh.  Live a little.  Make fun of life.  Life is ugly, so mock it and mock it often.

Pooh-PigI don’t know who did the graphic.  Love it though.

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Stolen shamelessly from McGoo.  I am a bad person.  But then he stole it from someone else, so two wrongs cancel out and I can sleep comfortably at night.

two_assholes

Being able to mock frequently is as important as good daily… Thai food.

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They say that this is not suggested but I thought it was obvious.  You wouldn’t want to catch swine flu.

CatchSwineFlu****

As a public service announcement two very highly placed individuals at my office – guys I eat Thai food with – say that Bruce Campbell’s new movie “My Name is Bruce”.

As an Oregon boy, I can’t say as how I’ve seen it yet but I will this weekend, as dog is my co-pilot.  (that would be Zoe)  The plot synopsis starts out well – here’s the first paragraph.

My Name is Bruce is the heroic struggle of a small mining town (Gold Lick, Oregon) to rid itself of a vengeful monster. Guan-di (Jamie Peck), the Chinese god of war and protector of the dead, has been unleashed by cemetery desecrating teenagers to protect the graves of Chinese miners lost in a deadly cave-in of yesteryear.

I grew up in an actual small-mining town in Oregon, so I should know about towns named “Gold Lick”.  First, there is no town named “Gold Lick, Oregon” and second, why did they make the town name sound like a brothel?  Or was that the point?

Whatever… Bruce, you rock dude.  Live forever, and I hope you are enjoying doing Burn Notice as much as I am watching it.

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Over at doubleplusundead, DPUD has provided a link to Tactical Bacon.  God, I am so happy I could just DIE.

tactical bacon

BACON IN A CAN.

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