Archive for April, 2010

Update:  Easily one of the single most disgusting things I’ve seen in a long while.  I can’t believe they found a doctor who would perform the procedure.   They need to reinstate the Hippocratic Oath.

To get that taste out of your mouth – a humongous ginormous frickin’ rabbit.

**** Now on to the regularly scheduled programming****

This breaking news in from the DailyMailOnline…  thank God it made Cruel Wife cringe.

Forget Viagra, scientists develop what women REALLY want, a spray to make their men cuddle more

… it seems the chemical can make a man ‘feel’ like a woman.

God help us all.  They go on in gory detail.

Afterwards the men were shown heart-wrenching photographs including a little girl in tears, a child embracing a cat and a man in mourning, and asked them to describe the level of empathy they felt with those in the pictures.

‘The oxytocin group showed significantly higher emotional empathy levels than those men who had taken the placebo,’ said Dr Rene Hurlemann, of the Friedrich-Wilhelms University of Bonn.

In fact, he added, they reached the ‘levels of sensitivity usually found in females’.

The finding raises the tantalising possibility that women could use oxytocin sprays to help macho boyfriends and husbands get in touch with their feminine side.

Chauvinists could be turned into sensitive souls happy to watch weepy films and critique outfits on shopping trips.

Almost as scary as the idea itself is the crap the Daily Mail is churning out here.  They are peddling mass hysteria and naturally progressing to where we men are going to run away screaming like little girls to avoid losing our masculinity.

THIS is the best Cruel Wife could hope for…

Scott Adams has been way ahead of anybody’s time on these things though.  I tried his site’s autogenerated embed code to hotlink his graphics but I had to truncate the html to get wordpress to show them.  (So, Scott – if I’m doing this wrong, let me know and I’ll fix it, K?)


Inscrutable Half-Breed, a co-worker, sent this on… I quote him here verbatim:

Apparently, Pacific Interpreters felt it necessary to go to the trouble of writing this letter to inform this guy that they would have fired him if he hadn’t already been in the process of being fired.  A beautiful illustration of why I don’t like HR people.  His response is perfect.


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That was the idea…

Update 2:  This is your brain.  This is your brain on sea salt.

Popsci.com had an article on salt – specifically how Lays is solving the Salt Health Epidemic of 2010 (never mind that salt doesn’t affect you unless you’re sensitive to it).

Then a commenter said THIS, which is probably one of the stupider things I’ve ever seen in print.

25th Scientist

04/21/10 at 2:54 pm

Ummmmm No need to reinvent the wheel here. Just use sea salt for a healthier alternative to regular table salt. Sea salt is water soluble and will pass right through your system.

Mother nature has already solved the problem for healthier salt.



Update 1:  How about that change?  And he says he’s a capitalist.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: “Now, what we’re doing, I want to be clear, we’re not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that’s fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough money.”  –  Video at RealClearPolitics – April 28, 2010


Illegal immigrants plan to leave over Ariz. law

… Many day laborers like Diaz say they will leave Arizona because of the law, which also makes it a state crime to be in the U.S. illegally and directs police to question people about their immigration status if there is reason to suspect they are illegal immigrants.

The sob story…

Diaz says he has too much to lose by staying – he’s supporting a wife and infant son back home in Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, across the border from El Paso, Texas.

“They depend on me to survive,” he says. “I’m not going to wait for police to come and arrest me.”

Yes, a man has to provide for his family.  But there are legal ways.  No one is upset if you want to get a green card and work, but there’s plenty of people upset about workers who are here illegally and suck off the system.  A green card means you are a tax resident and you stop living off the grid.


Mother nature has already solved the problem for healthier salt.

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… but you can come close.

I was passed on a link to steampunk stuff and was surprised.  I didn’t think that was going to be possible except in the most extreme of circumstances.

Here you go.  A steampunk vibrator.

I would really prefer that you go to the link above to read about it.  I’m speechless, sorta.

It was on a top-ten kind of list, here.

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That image was edited by applying GIMP photoedits directly to different scales of a wavelet transformed image.

Too cool or what?


You know how I’ve said “If it is your time to go, it is your time to go”?  Well, another example of someone whose time it was to NOT go.

Girl survives stings by Box Jellyfish.  (warning, the pic of her leg shows what can only be described as awful, but remember… she lived!)


For some reason there’s a lot of pissing and moaning about Arizona deciding to actually enforce immigration laws.

“If every state had its own laws, we wouldn’t be one country; we’d be 50 different countries,” said Thomas Saenz, president and general counsel of the Mexican American Legal Defense and Educational Fund.

No, we’d be a republic of sovereign states, which is what we are supposed to be you dipsh*t.


There was a day that people kept their mouths shut unless they felt something was important enough to stand behind.

For example, I’ll stand behind Mohammed’s Secret.

Only now (h/t to cbullitt at Soylent) there appears to be a whole new breed of folks that are unwilling to own up to what they say and do.  I’d have even respected Ms. Norris if she’d withdrawn and published an apology (wouldn’t have thought much of her but I’d respect her handling).

But what’s she doing?  Denying it.

I am NOT involved in “Everybody Draw Mohammd [sic] Day!””I made a cartoon that went viral and I am not going with it… Many other folks have used my cartoon to start sites, etc.  Please go to them as I am a private person who draws stuff. – Molly Norris

She wanted attention and then freaked when it was too much and/or it wasn’t the type she wanted.

This particular cartoon of a ‘poster’ seems to have struck a gigantic nerve, something I was totally unprepared for. – Molly Norris

Was she not paying attention to the news the last few years?

Take responsibility.  Grow some guts.  Rent a spine.  Something.


As soon as the pr0n industry gets their… uh… hands on it, the price will drop dramatically.   Look what they’ve done for the internet.

Ok, bad example.

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Lets get this out of the way, shall we?

If this be truly a religion of peace they’ll be offended and let it at that…

… but we know that’s not going to happen, right?


I think it’s nearly done if anyone has last minute comments or critiques speak up now or forever hold your feces peace.


Scarcity has been especially for the Kingly kind of Lemurs – so sorry.  I’ve been out of touch and not posted much.

Lately I’ve had cause to be rather pissed.

See, the legal system doesn’t really recognize you as being damaged unless you are in a wheelchair, have missing body parts, or are otherwise visidbly disfigured.

I would just like to have my insurance co. cover my medical expenses, but one of the hurdles is that I continue to work (I have a work ethic).  See, if I’d laid around and missed lots of time at work rather than do my best to not miss work in spite of daily pain then legally I’d be better off.  I have missed time at work but I’ve made up nearly every hour that I missed.

The system rewards you for being a burden.  I’ve worked regardless and – I hate the word “suffered” because it makes one sound like a victim but if you boil it down, suffering fits – suffered for years as a result of that auto accident, and the result of having a code of ethics is the life lesson that ethics don’t pay.  Well, that’s a lesson I am going to ignore.

Why bring it up?  Because the remodel job started by my father-in-law still needs completion.  I had a friend come over yesterday to help with the electrical issues.  I did my best to aid him where I could and he even took on sheetrocking for me.  I did try to help him.  I tried to patch screw holes today, screwed a piece or two of sheetrock up, spackled some seams.

And so I find myself in a significant amount of pain today.  Painkiller-bad pain that resists painkillers.  If past events hold true then I stand to have a rough time of it tomorrow and Tuesday.

The question becomes:  What the hell is the difference if you “can” do something vs. can’t (paralyzed perhaps) if the payoff is that your life is fundamentally f***ed up for days?

This isn’t a poor-me post – this is a rant-against-the-system post.  In nearly every other area of this country we do the same thing – we reward those who go by the default position, which is the one that requires the least effort and provides the most burden for others.

We’re giving all sorts of second chances to people who are in danger of defaulting on homes that they can’t afford.  We aren’t taxing half the nation and some of them are getting PAYMENTS come tax time.  We are socializing our health care at a time when entitlements are at an all-time high and growing higher.

Where did we stop having a higher degree of respect for intestinal fortitude, a can-do attitude, and a desire to succeed in spite of personal cost?


I can’t stand the New York Times and I know the slant they are shooting for in this article on soldiers with PTSD coming back from Iraq, but there’s some truth to it.

There’s a tough-it-out mindset in the military that doesn’t lend itself well to the realities of the mental/emotional damage that happens to our soldiers.  They are human beings, not machines.  And they don’t need just pills, they need someone who is trained to help them through mental and physical pain, too. Sure, meds are important, but they aren’t the whole story.  And, being human, every single one of them needs someone to sit down and tailor their treatment – you can’t assembly-line this stuff.

Update:  The Army has issued statements to refute the NYT article.  This doesn’t change the fact that the military could do more in the area of mental trauma and psych issues – especially given the strain it can put on families as well as the soldiers.  Like I said, I KNOW the NYT has a slant on it, but there’s a bit of truth, too.


Over at WeaselZippers, a news tidbit – a seeing eye dog refused entry to a restaurant because the waiter thought it was gay

stunned silence.   more stunned silence.   crickets chirp once and go silent.

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Wow, hysteria taken from a different tack.

Potentially deadly fungus spreading in US, Canada

21 Americans have gotten it in four years.  25% mortality.

Oh dear.  Let’s see what we get if we use rough numbers… 25 out of say… 25 million… that is 0.0001%  Cripes, even if you use 250,000 people that’s still only 0.01%.

And Reuter’s subtitle?

Climate change may aid its spread

Oh for the love of Dog.  Are we such pussies that we’ve lost all connection to reality?  Let’s talk the Spanish Flu if we want to talk about something scary.


I’m a frickin’ genius then.

VIOLENT videogames like Call of Duty and Resident Evil can make you smarter, new research suggests. The Sun reported the study said shoot-to-kill videogames improved quick-thinking and made players more able to cope with the demands of modern life.

It refutes claims videogames turn teenagers into violent criminals – and argues parents should encourage their kids to enjoy a bit of virtual blood-and-guts.

I’m a hell of a lot less violent than a large number of religion-of-peace followers offended by a cartoon of Mohammed with a bomb in his hair.


Here’s a guy who is such a sad sack of sh*t it’s not even worth beating him up.

An Army veteran who prosecutors say bilked the U.S. government by faking paralysis to get disability benefits and avoid being deployed to Iraq was sentenced Friday to 6 1/2 years in prison and ordered to repay more than $300,000.

Jeffrey Rush, 27, apologized at times tearfully to U.S. District Judge William Stiehl, who handed down the prison term prosecutors had requested.

“I hope you will use the time in prison to learn to conduct yourself in an honest way once you are out,” Stiehl, 84, told Rush, who stood straight in his cream-colored suit, yellow shirt and striped tie.

I rather wish he’d been tried in a military court because that’s who he’s offended/wronged the most but I confess I don’t know how these situations work.  What a slap to the guys and gals who are doing what is right.


Almost as ridiculous as crying over the death of a tree… Bertha Lewis demonizes Tea Party people.  Yes.  Yes, that’s right… we’re all drooling rabid racists.  That’s it, Bertha.  You’ve figured us out – we are so transparent.

This, coming from a woman whose only use for me is a source of money for her and like-minded people – that’s the only use she has for me because she’s deemed that since I believe in the need for change in government that I’m a racist.

This is not rhetoric or hyperbole — this is real,” Lewis said. “This rise of this Tea Party so-called movement — bowel movement in my estimation — and this blatant uncovering and ripping off the mask of racism.  – ACORN’s Bertha Lewis

I love this part…

During the address, Lewis praised the group’s members for calling themselves socialists, and warned that undefined forces are plotting their doom.

Undefined forces?  Doesn’t she mean the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy?

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Update 3:

If they meant to bleep all the Mohammed remarks, they didn’t do it for the first five minutes…

Somewhere, some Islamist is sharpening his knives, ready to right a wrong so everyone can get back to being peaceful.

Comedy Central’s “South Park” included a representation of the Prophet Muhammad as a character this week despite a radical Muslim group’s warning that its producers could be killed.

Muhammad appeared on Wednesday night’s episode of the cartoon with his face obscured by a black box, since Muslims consider a physical representation of their prophet to be blasphemous. Last week, the character was briefly disguised in a bear costume. When that same costume was removed this week, Santa Claus appeared.

The bear costume had angered the New York-based group Revolution Muslim, which posted a message on its website saying that producers Trey Parker and Matt Stone had insulted their prophet.

The message included a gruesome picture of Theo Van Gogh, a Dutch filmmaker murdered by a Muslim extremist in 2004 after making a movie about a woman who rejected Muhammad’s teachings. The message said the “South Park” producers would “probably wind up like Theo Van Gogh” for airing the show.

The posting included Comedy Central’s New York address, as well as the address for Parker and Stone’s California production studio.

They keep saying things like “so-and-so insulted my prophet”.  Get over it already, you guys are getting really tiresome with your overinflated sense of importance to the rest of the world.  Join the 21st century with the rest of us.

Good for Matt Stone:

“I think Comedy Central totally ——- pussed out. Now, they weren’t any different than anyone else, so it’s not like you can single them out. But I think it would’ve been an important statement for one media outlet in America to stand up. That was one of my most disappointing moments as an American–the American press’s reaction to the Muhammad cartoons. It was completely wimpy. Cartoonists, people who do satire–we’re not in the army, we’re never going to be ——- drafted and this is our time to stand up and do the right thing. And to watch the New York Times, Comedy Central, everybody just go ‘No, we’re not going to do it because basically we’re afraid of getting bombed’ sucked. I was so disappointed.”

Note:  I censored those words in Stone’s commentary/interview for deliberate humorous effect.


Update 2: Cool engineering hurdle aside, this thing is creepy enough to make me wince.  A humanoid robot mouth.

Soon it will be marketed in “Linda Lovelace” and “Mary Carey” models or you could purchase “choreography paks” to emulate your favorite star.



Will never be my favorite graphic because frankly it’s kind of lame.  But I just wanted to do it and get it out of my mind.  Thanks to cbullitt for posting about eco-tards and their ability to perform high-visibility eco-epic-FAIL deeds of immense stupidity.  That came out clunky as hell, but you get the idea.

Fight the eco-tards – take back Earth Day.


I have a solution to the there-isn’t-enough-high-quality-recycle-able-paper-to-make-toilet-paper-with problem…

Recycle the toilet paper!  Duh.  So THERE, Cheryl Crow… bet you didn’t think of THAT, didya?

Or just create more screaming trees.  (about 1 min and 30 sec into the video is some of the funniest tree-death skit material ever)


Regarding the consideration that Obama is waffling on (not really, he is going to push for it) the idea of imposing a VAT:

“And before, you know, I start saying ‘this makes sense or that makes sense,’ I want to get a better picture of what our options are,” Obama said.

He said his first priority “is to figure out how can we reduce wasteful spending so that, you know, we have a baseline of the core services that we need and the government should provide. And then we decide how do we pay for that.”

Obama does this time and time again… play-waffling to deflect criticism until he’s got his feet under himself.

Seems that we have vast fundamental differences between what he thinks government should provide and what I think gov’t should provide.

[…] you know, we have a baseline of the core services that we need and the government should provide…

Government should provide a stable place for commerce, a military, and a body of limited government.  THAT IS IT.

And this guy is sworn to uphold the Constitution.

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(AKA “To Kill a Mime”)

So Veeshir wants silencers…

… then silencers you shall have.

I give to you (as in “present to you”) the MimeSweeper3 v0.2.

There’s more irony in NOT using silencers since by definition if you are greasing mimes you’re not big on quiet entertainment, but then again, this is poetic.

Pic your poison.  Poetic, above, or Bleeding Irony, below.

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If there has ever been a stinkier crock of shit, I’ve not seen it.

Tea Partiers, the Obama administration is on your side.

That’s been the message from the White House over the past few days, as top officials dispute charges that Washington is on a spending binge and encourage conservative protesters to count their blessings.

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, when asked about the Tea Party protests, said in an interview Sunday that the Obama administration is paying more attention to deficit and spending concerns than the Bush administration did.

“We’ve just been through eight years where many people said deficits don’t matter. We can pass huge tax cuts, pass huge new programs without paying for them. That debate has changed fundamentally,” Geithner said on NBC’s “Meet the Press.”

“You don’t hear people say anymore deficits don’t matter. You don’t hear people saying we can pass enormous expansions in government without paying for it. That’s an important change.”


And President Obama said at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser Thursday that Tea Party activists should “be saying thank you” to him for the tax cuts passed by his administration.

The gall.


cbullitt provided the link below.

UCAR – blatantly resonating.

Current observational tools cannot account for roughly half of the heat that is believed to have built up on Earth in recent years, according to a “Perspectives” article in this week’s issue of Science.


“The heat will come back to haunt us sooner or later,” says NCAR scientist Kevin Trenberth, the lead author. “The reprieve we’ve had from warming temperatures in the last few years will not continue. It is critical to track the build-up of energy in our climate system so we can understand what is happening and predict our future climate.”

They need to track the energy so they can understand what is happening and predict our future climate – BUT – we seem to know exactly how long Thermageddon will take.  Which is it?


Our father figure continues to dispense with some of his vast reserves of wisdom.

Just more proof that he and the dems just don’t get it.

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Ok, this didn’t start out being about parasites.

It started out with my fixation on two art pieces that cbullitt got me interested in.

1) An angelic eco-tard freezing in the arctic wastes (believe me, it’d have some artistic value/merit, even as bad as it sounds)

2) Hungry Bear ™ TV Dinners – Eco-tard in a parka, iced seal-sushi, and hockey-stick pudding

But as I was searching for inspiration I ran across an article on parasites, which (and cbullitt will laugh at this) I thought of him.  No, he’s not a parasite, but it is funny to say it sarcastically.  He’s actually my muse.  My twisted and psychotic muse.

I must continually fight the temptation to sidetrack.  Running around on the internet will take one down many winding and otherwise hidden paths.  One such path was the blog of a ocean-biology writer’s blog.  And there I learned about a certain barnacle.  Two words…

Damn.  DAMN.

I mean, this is enough to make your testes shrivel up and fall off.

Parasites are nasty things.  (Discover magazine)


The blogger that wrote the article before I read the barnacle one had a wonderful piece about how we view our world: Can I eat that, or not?

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Have you tried the Doritos 2nd Degree Burn Buffalo Wing flavor chips?

You know I’m a chilihead.

You should also know that 20 minutes later my mouth was still on fire.  My guts didn’t know how to respond.  Next day I noticed it then, too.  So I can offer the following advice:


I’m surprised that Doritos did something that daring.  No, they aren’t Blair’s Death Rain Potato Chips, but they are something to be reckoned with.

If you like heat you’ll be surprised.  If you are a chili lightweight, it’s training, confidence-building, and character-building.


Bill Clinton, never able to remain silent for long.

“What we learned from Oklahoma City is not that we should gag each other or that we should reduce our passion for the positions we hold – but that the words we use really do matter, because there’s this vast echo chamber, and they go across space and they fall on the serious and the delirious alike. They fall on the connected and the unhinged alike,” he said.

“One of the things that the conservatives have always brought to the table in America is a reminder that no law can replace personal responsibility. And the more power you have and the more influence you have, the more responsibility you have.”

Perhaps he could give Obama some pointers.  But I hope he doesn’t, because Obama is the best thing for the right-of-center folks, just by spouting off.

But here’s a tip for Mr. Clinton – we don’t need you to help us choose our words.  You weren’t a “calming influence” while folks were bashing Bush, so don’t take “the high road” now.


On revolt and other matters…

People keep talking about the Revolution and revolting as a response to current events.  There’s crucial differences.

Then, the colonists were against England’s Parliament, any form of monarchy, and taxes.  Taxes higher now?  They say they are.  But here’s the thing – then, the loss of the the form of government that they had was a good thing, and they contrived and embraced the system (the ideals of) we have now.

To incite revolt would be to say that the system we have now must be scrapped and replaced.  To give up what we have now would be a catastrophic mistake, because as flawed as it is, and even as corrupt as our representatives are, I defy you to find a better system.

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cbullitt swore it needed more than one barrel so I’m willing to go halfway – two large-bore barrels in an over/under arrangement.  Yes, there’s one trigger.  Pull the trigger and both go off.  Half measures in Lemur’s mind are wasted measures.

I’ll add in the mime-endangering stuff later after the Sweeper is done.


Obama Hits at Tea Partiers

President singles out conservative movement at DNC event, saying they should ‘thank him’ for cutting taxes

In the same vein that the guy who claims he’s doing you a big favor getting rid of your lead-based paints in your garage also dumps nuclear and bio waste out on the grass in your back yard.  Gee thanks ever so much.

Obama, you’re such a clueless (or uncaring) putz.  And at other times the guy just seems stupid – like at any moment he’s going to dial up a Rabbi and ask where he can get a good kosher ham sandwich.

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NY Times is pretty picky about what they leak.  If it is about global warming, they keep it under wraps.

But if it is about intelligence operatives undercover who are protecting our troops, they publish it, damn the consequences because the public has a right to know.

Global Warming though, that’s serious and can’t be released.

God-damned liberals.

Michael Goldfarb of the Weekly Standard said this LAST YEAR…

This is the position of the New York Times when given the chance to publish sensitive information that might hinder the liberal agenda. Of course, when the choice is between publishing classified information that might endanger the lives of U.S. troops in the field or intelligence programs vital to national security, that information is published without hesitation by the nation’s paper of record. But in this case — the documents were “never intended for the public eye,” so the New York Times will take a pass.


Looking at stuff on Drudge.  The first one is fascinating.   The item called “Coincidence?”… gee, no kidding?


Ok, some students got ahold of some documents after a tip that staff were shredding documents.

I don’t mind whistleblowers if two conditions are met:  1) something was done that was wrong/illegal, and 2) they are honest and truthful.

A document fished out of a California state university trash bin last week has prompted a state investigation into the university’s foundation arm and its refusal to disclose details related to Sarah Palin’s upcoming speech at the school.

[snip]Brown’s investigation was prompted, in part, by a group of CSU Stanislaus students who retrieved five pages of the contract from a campus trash bin last Friday after hearing administrators were engaged in shredding documents.

So why hasn’t the AP asked the obvious question?  The obvious question is – how is it that they managed to find (supposedly) damning documents about Sarah Palin’s contract to make a speech there IF THEY WERE TIPPED OFF ABOUT DOCUMENT SHREDDING?  If someone was shredding documents they wouldn’t have put those out there in unshredded form.

Regarding the excerpt of Palin’s contract, [Russell Giambelluca, the university’s vice president of business and finance] said: “I find it interesting that among shredded documents you find one that’s completely intact related to the contract.”

Good observation!

Alicia Lewis, 26, was one of the students who went to investigate. The building was locked and gated, but the students were able to retrieve piles of paperwork, including the contract document, from a nearby trash bin, Lewis said.


Lewis and another student, Ashli Briggs, traveled to Sacramento Tuesday to give Brown office material they said had been thrown out, including two boxes of documents and two trash bags filled with shredded files.

“This is our little Watergate in the state of California,” [state Sen. Leland Yee] said Tuesday.

It sure is your little Watergate – except you did the breaking and entering you idiots.  I won’t buy for a second that you found the documents intact in a pile of other shredded documents.


Pr0n for the blind… surprised it took so long, actually.


Time to institute punishment such as caning.

Villalobos is accused of repeatedly flashing a green laser light at National Guard Air 1 helicopter, which blinded the pilot causing him difficulty in flying the air craft.

On the ground, a Camden police unit responded to the corner of Alabama Road and Congress Road and located Villalobos sitting inside a red Dodge minivan. Police approached Villalobos, who admitted to being the person flashing the laser light at the helicopter, saying that he thought it had been a news helicopter.

Oh, well that would have been ok, then.

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