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Archive for September 29th, 2010

Now what?

Update: #10 wins. #6 is dear to my heart but #10 is one I haven’t told in a while.

Stay tuned for later tonight.

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As close as I’ll ever get to a “tweet”…

Had a blood test for cholesterol today.
Darned vampires.  They suck four quarts of blood out of your arm and then have the audacity to tell you to not take the band-aid off for seven hours or you could bleed out right there on the floor.  I think they’re just worried about where their next meal is coming from.

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No, I’m not going to quote Marcellus from Pulp Fiction, although it would be great and all.

No, “Now What?” refers to what stories shall I tell next?  Vote and if you are the selected winner of the “What Next?” lottery you will get… mentioned.

The choices are:

  1. Spelunking While Drunk
  2. Death Ride with a Strange Drunk Woman
  3. Driving to Michigan with a Drugged Cat in the Truck
  4. The Taternator: Stories of a Loosed Potato Cannon
  5. Til  the Blood Runs Clear – A Short Water Polo Story
  6. The Dog Groaned at Dusk – A German Shepherd’s Tale
  7. Cutting the Mustard
  8. A Compilation of Puppy-Dog Tails -or- Finding Nemo
  9. Fractured Ego, or “How I Didn’t Spend My Summer” (industrial accident)
  10. The Spitting Beaver River Incident

There’s more.  Many many more.  I’ve lived a strange life.  All of it true.

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I got a mission-style rocking chair today.  Originally marked at $75 and marked down by 75% I walked away with it for $18.75.   A movie production house near my work had a sale and were dumping items to get them out of their building.  I paid my money and then picked it up with my truck.

Later today several co-workers asked if it was a redneck thing going on with the chair.

I said “Huh?”

Well, ok, I guess I could see what they meant.

I told them it was cheaper than a child car-seat.

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The Dude sent me this today.  I didn’t know what the hell to do with it.  Finally I wrote back and said “Should I blog this?”

He said he got it from the moronosphere so what the hell, I’m blogging it.  No idea what the source is, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to do a Google Image search on “University of Michigan” and “semen“.

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