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Archive for November, 2010

A New Graphic

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Damn.  Leslie Nielsen dead at 84, visited by the old person’s friend.

I won’t call you Shirley but I will call you one hell of a lot of laughs.

Who can forget him looking up the ladder (and upskirt) at Priscilla Presley and uttering the famous words “Nice Beaver!”

And her, pulling down a real live dead one, saying “You like it?  I just had it stuffed!”

T-shirt... 80's Tees.

http://www.80stees.com/products/Nice-Beaver-Naked-Gun-Shirt.asp

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Nothing new to write about but I ran across this article I had open in my browser but didn’t get around to reading.

Happy Genetically Modified Thanksgiving.

And The Comments.

I had some European friends who went on and on about GM foods and the evils therein.  What was not apparent to me was just how those foods were slowly killing me.

As I walk through the grocery store and witness representative examples of celery from “organic” vs. “non-organic” (???) sources, without exception the stuff outside of the organic display is healthier looking, larger, and cheaper.

Every argument had fear oozing from it, yet none of the arguments got any closer than saying “We just don’t know what these things will do to us.”

Is that the best argument there is?

Who here thinks drinking gasoline is a good idea?

Ok, how about tobacco?

How about carbon tetrachloride, arsenic, asbestos, and DMSO mixed with trace amounts of pesticides?  Fen-phen?

All those things are recognized as being bad for you because… they are.

But genetically modified food?  If we stop using the expression “Frankenfood” and actually try to point to the stacked up bodies of people who have keeled over, do we come up with much?  There’s warnings all over gasoline, model cement, methylene chloride, lead, mercury, and methanol.  Pretty obvious in those cases.

Meanwhile there have been cases of entire warehouses full of “genetically modified” corn remaining locked up  in the midst of starving countries because of the dangers they present.

I’d be willing to bet though that the people starving to death would rather take their chances.

How about DDT?  The actual arguments made against it were not as rigorous as you’d hope they’d be (far from conclusive) and yet it has been banned worldwide.  The results?  Millions upon millions of people have died of malaria.

Note:  If you are interested in the DDT debate but fall on the opposite side of the fence, go read this article first, then politely initiate a dialogue.  Nasty treatment will get you banned faster than a liberal can whip out someone else’s checkbook.

Pretty safe bet that those people would have appreciated a little more DDT in their environment, too.

Would I eat a bunny-rabbit that had jellyfish genes spliced into it’s DNA so it glowed in the dark in an eerie green fashion?

Oh hell yes.  I’ll barbecue it’s green-glowy ass in molasses.

What about the hybrid of a turkey, a jellyfish, and an ass?  Would you vote him for president?  Oops.  Guess we already did that.  Europe and the liberals here in the US loved that.

(yes, that’s a cheap parting shot)

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“Just another bite,” I thought aloud to myself for the benefit of my family.

Surely finishing what was before me was the best honor I could give in thanks for everything those before me have allowed me to have…

But… the body cried out… it screamed “Foul!  Foul, that which once nourished now overwhelms and destroys!  By Othar Tryggvassen, Gentleman Adventurer’s left nut, if you take one more bite, we will all die!”

“I can do this,” I murmured, more to convince myself than anyone around me.

This is bad.  This is so very very grim, but I can do this.

My soul shrieked “Have done with this!  It would be better had you beaten your pancreas to death with your spleen!†”

I chided my insides… Ok, now you’re just exaggerating.

My stomach growled at me, with pure hatred and no supplication.

With an agonized expression I looked at Cruel Wife.  “Huh.  Maybe not… maybe I can’t do this.”

The mashed potatoes had loosed some of their bounty upon my stuffing, which was in turn smothering my turkey.  This would be no mere bite, not even a Herculean bite.  It would be the work of many bites.

“I can’t do this,” I said around a huge mouthful of turkey, stuffing, and potatoes.  A rivulet of butter ran down through my beard, bringing with it promises of a portable snack later, as long as I didn’t wash my face.

Oh geez, I’m doing it.  I’m really doing it now.

My stomach did the only thing it could do, which was to push food through the scanners… errr… my digestive system faster than it could handle otherwise because the protesters… uh… food just kept coming.  And then it blew up.   I rapidly slipped into a coma, and died.

And still, I ate more.

And finished it despite being recently departed.

A feeble croak escaped my lips, piggy-backed on a titanic belch which did nothing to relieve the pressure,”I’m dead… uh… full.”

I got up from the table and staggered the 23 feet to my chair and haven’t moved since.

Mmmm.  That’s good butter.

†The idea of beating anything with your spleen was inspired by “Bolt”, a line from Rhino the Hamster.


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Historically speaking, talk of this sort always leads to control of a population.  Total control.

Best we nip this in the bud right now.

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano says terrorists will continue to look for U.S. vulnerabilities, making tighter security standards necessary.

“[Terrorists] are going to continue to probe the system and try to find a way through,” Napolitano said in an interview that aired Monday night on “Charlie Rose.”

“I think the tighter we get on aviation, we have to also be thinking now about going on to mass transit or to trains or maritime. So, what do we need to be doing to strengthen our protections there?”

If this is the cost of my safety, I’ll take my chances with the terrorists.

Two conclusions can be drawn – one, she is a vile totalitarian or two, she is one of these people who is so convinced of her personal powerlessness that she should never be in a position to wield power, because she’s got no natural aptitude for leadership.

Either way, this is bad.  Very bad.

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How the Mighty have Fallen.

Update #2:  How come, if the diaper bomber incident last Christmas plays such a huge part in the latest Gropefest Security Theater exercise, it took eleven months to suddenly decide that we need to feel up everyone who isn’t a president or a congress-critter?

You’d think if it was so critical to safety they would have gotten on this sooner.  Something smells here.

Napolitano and Pistole (and Obama) say they’re open to discussing change in the policy but not over Thanksgiving.  One can only assume that they are going to do the standard Democrat maneuver just as they did on Health Care – which is to refuse change and hopefully wait out the detractors, saying “When you are less ignorant you’ll appreciate how wise we are.”

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Update on the TSA thing:  This is exactly what I was planning on doing when going to Florida in January.

Wolanyk was arrested for refusing to complete the security process and for recording the incident on his iPhone, according to his attorney.

Yes, it is best to ensure that none of TSA’s behavior sees the light of day.  No recordings.

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I caved.

I now have a Blackberry phone thingy. I’m a Luddite in research and aerospace and I now have a Blackberry.  The WiFi and bluetooth is just sweet.  Went to a coffee shop with the family and a friend of mine guided my surfing to show me a boat he wants to buy someday, maybe, if.

I absolutely love it.  It’s not always the easiest navigation to get to the customization stuff but overall I really really like it a lot.  Tenement Lobster is on my background for it already.

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Little late in getting this out.  Ok, days late.  So sorry.

Update:

“Driving is much more dangerous than flying, as you are far more likely to be killed in an automobile accident mile-for-mile than you are in an airplane,” said Horwitz. “The result will be that the new TSA procedures will kill more Americans on the highway.”  – Steven Horwitz, a professor of economics at St. Lawrence University

Whatever Obugger and the Libtards may think, a whole lot of people still subscribe to the idea “Give me liberty or give me death.”

For me and my family, we’ll take our chances on the road, thank you.  Bye-bye airlines.

And, sorry, but any agent who tries to strip-search my son is getting his facial features reconstructed.

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The TSA had one individual (Blogger Bob) that was quoted as saying:

It is important that all screening procedures are completed.  This ensures that terrorists do not have an opportunity to probe TSA’s procedures by electing not to fly just as TSA’s screening procedures are on the verge of detecting that the passenger is a terrorist.

How stupid do the TSA people think we are?  Electing not to fly just as TSA’s screening procedures are on the verge of detecting that the passenger is a terrorist?  Did such idiocy truly get uttered?  Yes.  Yes it did.

Terrorists probing security will do dry runs.  Terrorists probing security are not going to carry the real thing – there’s no point in doing a dry run with the real explosives, or the real knife, or the real whatever.  If they are going to carry the real thing they’re going to do something with it, not probe – they are not going to start tipping the authorities off by sacrificing people and possible tactics.  They will also seek to drop as many false positives as possible.

A true “Allahu Akbar” dyed-in-the-wool pork-fearing terrorist isn’t going to bat an eye at the next step, which is cramming explosives up his/her ass or having implants installed that are loaded with “goodies” instead of silicone.

This ill-inspired exercise has become a situation illustrating the notion reductio ad absurdum.  Read the next sentence twice, or however many times it takes to catch the nuance.

You can not have non-intrusive security and catch everything.

So in practical terms, how are “we” going to catch that stuff?  Start poking fake and real tits breasts indiscriminately with needles or stilettos?  Cavity searches at random?

Yes, there’s the solution, let’s just go around puncturing every female’s hooters or cavity-probing every single passenger out of fairness, m’kay?  (We’ll do it with gloves, and we won’t enjoy it, we promise.)

Or we can do the right thing and recognize that profiling is really the only fair thing one can do.  It is not fair to equally scrutinize everybody if the preponderance of evidence says that the likelihood of a terrorist being middle-eastern jumps sky-high.  We can’t ignore the fact that the odds get worse if we’re talking about men.  And the odds get even worse if we’re talking about a middle-eastern male somewhere between 17 and 35.

Brings the point… does something exist that is better than scanners overall?  YES!

They are called “dogs” and have been sniffing out explosives and drugs for a very long time.

For all the non-kaboom-ey stuff like non-metallic cutting things – knives or shards-o-glass and the like?   Several times now passengers have shown some real bravery in rising to the occasion and kicking the everlovin’ shite out of would-be terrorists.

Ol’ Blogger Bob also wrote this regarding the TSA’s alternative to the scanning, which is the good ol’ grope, errr, pat-down:

As I’ve said before, there is nothing punitive about it- it just makes good security sense.

TSA not punitiveOh they most certainly are.  And they most certainly will if we let them get away with it.

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We had a meeting today with Frankenboy’s teacher and other folks, basically a team of six people altogether.  Specialists in multiple fields of specialization.

It’s one thing to suspect something about your kid, even strongly suspect, but it’s another thing entirely to get an official diagnosis of autism.

I have no idea what this means.  Until now it’s always kind of been the thought that it was a delayed speech thing and it would work itself out. But it’s been a while and lots of little mannerisms were making themselves evident.

And here we are.

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It Piles Up.

It started innocently enough.

I tore a thumbnail below the level of the skin today, meaning there’s just no good way to trim it back because fingernail clippers can’t go beyond where the underside of the nail connects up with the skin.  Anyone with fingernails knows this.  So, how does one fix this?

Bright Idea #1:  Superglue to the rescue!

The superglue container was sort of glued shut.  So I used pliers to open it by pulling the little glue-encrusted tack out and with it came a bunch of crusty glue.

Then I repaired the torn nail.   So far, easy-peasy.

But the little tack wouldn’t go back in the tube.

Bright Idea #2:  Hold tube in palm of left hand and push hard with the right hand to force the tack back into the neck of the glue bottle.

Except the tube in my left palm slipped.  I drove the tack into my palm – buried the metal and crusty glue plug in my palm at the 4 o’clock side of dead-center.  Pulled my right hand away and saw it kind of stuck there.  You know… impaled.  I reached over and pulled the tack out quickly, and…

Bright Idea #3:  Quickly cover the wound with your right thumb.

Except the puncture wound had superglue all around it because the pointy tack was recently on the inside of the superglue’s tube/neck thingy.

Yes.  Yes.  Yes, I did superglue my right thumb over the wound in my left palm after driving a glue-soaked tack into said palm of said left hand after having just repaired a torn nail on the thumb of my left hand.

Note:  Superglue in a wound kind of stings.  Also, superglue has been used in the past for wound-suturing, so it worked great in plugging up the puncture in my palm.

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Police: Woman Tried to Assault Cop With Sex Toy

Headlines like this always promise a story that, face it, will be a bit… odd.

Police say a dine-and-dash turned into assault charges for an Illinois woman who allegedly walked out on her bill at a restaurant and then attempted to strike a cop with a “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device,” according to police reports obtained by AOL News.

Wow.  That’s never good.  Little disappointed by AOL’s coverage of this story – nowhere do they get into her motivation, her feelings, and what she expected to be the outcome resulting from her actions.  I want to know this lady better (not in the carnal sense – I have standards).

A responding officer scoured the area and spotted a woman matching the perp’s description lying on a plot of grass near the Six Flags Great America amusement park.

When informed that she must either pay the bill or face arrest, Bildsten allegedly told the officer that she wasn’t carrying any money but had cash at home.

[At her home] Bildsten “said her money was in her dresser drawer and she opened it and reached inside and removed a ‘clear, rigid feminine pleasure device’ and held it over her head and approached the officer in a threatening manner,” according to a statement issued by the Gurnee Police Department.

Few things are as utterly terrifying as having a large caliber dildo brandished at you from overhead. Ignore it at your peril… it’s like the Schlong of Damocles or something like that.

“The officer knocked the device out of the way prior to being struck and placed the woman under arrest,” the statement continued.

Let’s be honest, there are a lot of things that could have been much worse, but do the cops ever envision these moments when they make their career choice?

Bildsten was charged with theft of labor for allegedly walking out on the restaurant bill, pedestrian under the influence for walking on city streets while inebriated, and aggravated assault for menacing the officer with a sex toy.

Perhaps she’ll get off with good behavior.

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If enough people say “That’s a risk we’re willing to take” then they do indeed need to get rid of the scanners.  Gov’t does not call the shots, as much as they’d like to believe.

I find that being full-body groped ( I was in Florida ) to be ridiculous since I don’t even remotely fit a terrorist profile, and I don’t like the all-body scanner.  Target those that fit the profile and stop being a bunch of pinheads.  Be discerning.

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Update:  Below I have updated the nasty spiteful and soulless graphic I first did (the B&W one).  I have since added some festive glow bracelets and splashes of color

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It’s quick, it’s dirty, it’s not done yet.  But here’s the work in progress.  I don’t like it, I must confess.  It lacks in many ways, but it’s still bound to piss someone off.

Here comes the update.  It is still weak but what the hell, eh?

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Update:

You know you’re old when you finally – after hours of searching – find the old CBS station bumper music and it takes you back to the early/mid 70’s.  And you think of Bill Bixby in The Incredible Hulk (Friday nights) and how James Garner in The Rockford Files (Saturday nights, I think) was pretty darned entertaining and all that…

To a kid that sound was kind of mournful/spooky.

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Cruel Wife passed on this link.  It’s what I need.  Like burning.

In order to convince you to run over there and buy a dozen of them, here is the appetizer.

 

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How could it be bad?

I can see an over-enthusiastic diner needing stitches in their lip from shoveling pizza into their face.

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Turducken rears it’s fowl head again – ’tis the season.  The only way it could be better is if it were wrapped in bacon and cooked inside of a pig.

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