Archive for November 15th, 2010

It Piles Up.

It started innocently enough.

I tore a thumbnail below the level of the skin today, meaning there’s just no good way to trim it back because fingernail clippers can’t go beyond where the underside of the nail connects up with the skin.  Anyone with fingernails knows this.  So, how does one fix this?

Bright Idea #1:  Superglue to the rescue!

The superglue container was sort of glued shut.  So I used pliers to open it by pulling the little glue-encrusted tack out and with it came a bunch of crusty glue.

Then I repaired the torn nail.   So far, easy-peasy.

But the little tack wouldn’t go back in the tube.

Bright Idea #2:  Hold tube in palm of left hand and push hard with the right hand to force the tack back into the neck of the glue bottle.

Except the tube in my left palm slipped.  I drove the tack into my palm – buried the metal and crusty glue plug in my palm at the 4 o’clock side of dead-center.  Pulled my right hand away and saw it kind of stuck there.  You know… impaled.  I reached over and pulled the tack out quickly, and…

Bright Idea #3:  Quickly cover the wound with your right thumb.

Except the puncture wound had superglue all around it because the pointy tack was recently on the inside of the superglue’s tube/neck thingy.

Yes.  Yes.  Yes, I did superglue my right thumb over the wound in my left palm after driving a glue-soaked tack into said palm of said left hand after having just repaired a torn nail on the thumb of my left hand.

Note:  Superglue in a wound kind of stings.  Also, superglue has been used in the past for wound-suturing, so it worked great in plugging up the puncture in my palm.

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Police: Woman Tried to Assault Cop With Sex Toy

Headlines like this always promise a story that, face it, will be a bit… odd.

Police say a dine-and-dash turned into assault charges for an Illinois woman who allegedly walked out on her bill at a restaurant and then attempted to strike a cop with a “clear, rigid feminine pleasure device,” according to police reports obtained by AOL News.

Wow.  That’s never good.  Little disappointed by AOL’s coverage of this story – nowhere do they get into her motivation, her feelings, and what she expected to be the outcome resulting from her actions.  I want to know this lady better (not in the carnal sense – I have standards).

A responding officer scoured the area and spotted a woman matching the perp’s description lying on a plot of grass near the Six Flags Great America amusement park.

When informed that she must either pay the bill or face arrest, Bildsten allegedly told the officer that she wasn’t carrying any money but had cash at home.

[At her home] Bildsten “said her money was in her dresser drawer and she opened it and reached inside and removed a ‘clear, rigid feminine pleasure device’ and held it over her head and approached the officer in a threatening manner,” according to a statement issued by the Gurnee Police Department.

Few things are as utterly terrifying as having a large caliber dildo brandished at you from overhead. Ignore it at your peril… it’s like the Schlong of Damocles or something like that.

“The officer knocked the device out of the way prior to being struck and placed the woman under arrest,” the statement continued.

Let’s be honest, there are a lot of things that could have been much worse, but do the cops ever envision these moments when they make their career choice?

Bildsten was charged with theft of labor for allegedly walking out on the restaurant bill, pedestrian under the influence for walking on city streets while inebriated, and aggravated assault for menacing the officer with a sex toy.

Perhaps she’ll get off with good behavior.


If enough people say “That’s a risk we’re willing to take” then they do indeed need to get rid of the scanners.  Gov’t does not call the shots, as much as they’d like to believe.

I find that being full-body groped ( I was in Florida ) to be ridiculous since I don’t even remotely fit a terrorist profile, and I don’t like the all-body scanner.  Target those that fit the profile and stop being a bunch of pinheads.  Be discerning.

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