I saw this on FaceBook…
OMG – WARNING: Tomorrow Facebook will change its settings to allow zombies to come into your house while you sleep and eat your brains with a sharpened spoon. To stop this from happening go to Accounts / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains and un-check the “Tasty” box.
Now, I need some help here (probably from Mitchell) but don’t zombies use sporks?
An alert reader who I won’t name but it was mrmacs sent me this crazy link knowing full well I would have to seek it out and read publications on it if there are any.
I don’t know nuthin’ about no zombies nor anything about no anti-lasers. But a titanium spork is definitely going to be added to the survival pack.
Yeah, but what color non-beam does it produce?
Anti-plaid.
They’re working on a new diode-unpumped one that is anti-paisley.
Come one, come all! Get your titanium sporks here:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/8ace/
Just the thing for the modern Zombie!
Now, an anti-laser… Would it suck heat out of something that the beam impacted, instead of imparting heat?
If you set up a hologram table and use an anti-plaid anti-laser, what would your resulting anti-hologram look like?
It’s too damn early for April Fools Day, isn’t it?
It would create darkness with a profile defined by the far-field diffraction pattern of the anti-plaid grid.
I still need to go read a paper on it.
Almost, but not quite the ticket mrmacs! In titanium sporkage it’s go bold or go home. I have the other, lesser spork and I love it. I use it all the time.
Did you REALLY just use the word “sporkage”?
That’s so cool.
That’s non-polarized sporkage, LK.
For maximum sensitivity.
Polarized sporkage? Are you implying that sporks are electromagnetic entities and display wave-particle duality?
Maximum sensitivity? Now I’m really confused. Sporks are E-M natured and are ribbed for pleasure?
Wow. Truly I learn something new every single day.
There’s stuff that can be un-learned, and stuff that cannot be un-learned. Where are we going with this? grin…
Is it bad that this conversation is extremely hawt?
Yes, I have those sporks, too.
In the interest of science, I will add that zombies do not use sporks, or spoons. They use teeth. Get with the program, people.
Well of COURSE they don’t use sporks if you don’t give them to them?
Geez, Aggie. I thought you were the logical type.
Bad? No. Disturbing?
Maaaaaaybeeee.
I am logical, LK.
Why would they ever use a spork, when they can no longer manage co-ordination well??
Get. With. The. Program.
That was kind of the point seeing as how a knife and fork isn’t feasible judging from the 20-or-so zombie movies I’ve seen.
Is it so much to ask that our zombies cultivate a teensy bit of culture?
The only culture they have is the bacterial kind 😉