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Archive for April 28th, 2011

Proposed Badge

Okay.  So c.monster over at Soylent asked me what my vision would be for an award he has been given.  Click for a NSFW picture post.

The award?   (in a booming loud baritone voice)

The Iron Penis Award

So, like… wow.  Now, I’ve known c.monster for a while now and it would be hard to turn him down when he’d been given a cool award for tasteful imagery, but I wasn’t sure just what to do.

When I did the Boob Bomb pic to see if veeshir could be enticed back (he’s triple-secret boycotting me now, it appears) I had to do a lot of distasteful searching on Google for boobs.  I had to find the perfect one and CW would not model for the pic.  So I sacrificed to come through on that image.  I looked at literally thousands of boobs.

But somehow, I just wasn’t as interested in taking one for the team when it came to looking at lots of pics of penises.

So I said to myself “Self, what does one look like?”

And I answered myself by saying “Well, Self, if only we knew of someone who has one, and perhaps he might be able to help us.”

And that’s where I came in.  I was indeed an owner of such equipment and I was able to help myself in this endeavor.

Can this get any more awkward?

So drawing upon my vast experience with original-owner genuine junk, I set out to do a line art version, one that would be stylized and not a ‘shopped photo, which had all the appeal of a drooling skunk.

Cruel Wife took a look and said “Yep, that is unmistakable, and if Girlhead sees it, you can tell her it is a chinese mushroom.”

The graphic is not a picture of my junk, ok?  I just went for the stereotypical imagery and a size ratio that fit the effect I was going for.

My this is awkward, isn’t it?

The graphic may change, depending on what c.monster says he likes or doesn’t like.  It is his award after all.


Update:  Ditch the lettering.  Chrome it up.   I can do those.  Tomorrow night.

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Guy steals milk.  Okay.  Guy steals milk while dressed as a cow.  What?  Oh… ok…  Guy steals milk dressed as a cow then runs from the police.  Okay, I guess.  Guy steals milk while dressed as a cow and tries to elude the cops by skipping away.

Oh yeah, way to blend into the crowd.

Can you see the cop trying to get assistance?

“Dispatch, we have a white and black bovine, approximate 5’10” tall, last seen skipping away from the Piggley Wiggley and heading north on Alfalfa Street.  Suspect is teated and presumed dangerous, possibly insane.  Wanted on suspicion of grand theft lactose.”

****

Heard about this on the way to work this morning and I gagged up three kittens.  I don’t even eat kittens and I horked up a few.

Superman renouncing his American citizenship.    Great, now even childhood heroes are portrayed as cool if they ditch their country.  Great.

It’s posted all over the place, I know.  But what you won’t read anywhere else is that Superman is she-male and eats bunnies live.

No, he doesn’t do that.  But the very notion of Supes not being American makes me sad and ill at the same time.  He used to be my favorite comic-book hero, alongside Green Arrow and the Hulk.

More later…

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