Archive for June 8th, 2011

As a Duke’s First Access Club (oooooh) member, I have… uh… First Access to… uh… Duke’s Club.

Yeah.  That’s it.

Which means (drumroll please)…

I am literally seconds away from playing the demo, which I, a Duke’s First Access Club Member, have First Access to.

My balls are clanking together in excitement.  It’s almost been… forever.


Update:  Wow.  I went to kick ass and chew bubble gum.  And I was indeed all out of gum.

It was horribly OTT macho, misogynistic, juvenile, and non-stop… and quite fun.

The demo did feel a little bit like being dropped into Alice in Wonderland, where Alice wore naughty schoolgirl outfits, and where Alice (Both of them, twins… who was who?  Who cares?) does naughty things, you take a leak into a real live urinal in a POV experience that Cruel Wife probably could never really understand (or any chick for that matter), and a bit like Rowdy Roddy Piper on a double-dose of ‘roids and really short on bubble gum.  But that’s what the cigar is for, right?

Finale after beating the Boss?  Drop kick his cyclops eye down the football field and between the goalposts.  Sweet.

The pre-game sequences were pretty good.  One subtle but not-so-subtle clip was where he blows off the bad guy’s head, drops trou, whips out a newspaper, and sits on the alien’s neck to take a dump.  Very classy and enough to make me laugh so hard I thought I was going to black out.

Yes, I’m a fan-boy.  But I got Balls of Steel, so there.

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