Note: The posting below is out of character for what I’d normally write but it is something that I’ve pondered over many a time.
The link in the next line has an article that touches on something that has bothered me for years.
Yoga pants.
Ladies, in case you hadn’t noticed, yoga pants allow other to see your “female parts”. The author makes a great point…
Now, I refuse to be called a pervert for noticing [that your vagina] is separated from me by only a thin layer of spandex. I am not asking for you to show me; you are showing me and asking me not to look. There is a difference. – Ben Whitmore
Not only does he make a great point, he makes an excellent point. It happens elsewhere, too.
Women bitch about how (yoo hoo! helloooo?) their eyes are roughly 18 inches higher up (or based on my keen observations as much as 24″-36″ depending on age and physical condition). But then women never seem to notice that they are wearing clothing that is tight, has plunging necklines, or is sheer enough to see skin through. Or they aren’t wearing a bra. Or not wearing one thick enough to conceal “nature’s little thermometers” (aka high beams when I was in high school). Or they wear necklaces designed to draw the eyes to that region. It is all a polite fiction, as must be if you’re going to walk that curvacious line between wanting to be sexually desirable and not wanting to be viewed as a piece of meat.
I try not to be obvious but even so, as Cruel Wife and I are watching TV or a movie, I feel compelled now and then when I see a blatant example to say “Gee, I wonder what they are selling there” or “Uh, isn’t she a bit top-heavy?”, or some remark in a similar vein.
If you don’t want men staring at your tits, why won’t you stop drawing attention to them? – Dr. Lemur
It’s actually even worse than that, because men like them. A lot. Call them what you want – boobs, bodacious ta-tas, hooters, nodes, knockers, fun-bags, breasts, tits, milk juggs, melons… wait, I found a good listing of euphemisms (see way down below)… but my point to drive home with women is that men like them and you quite obviously like them so if you don’t want men ogling them, stop parading them about – and that goes for camel-toes, as well.
One may hear aghast and outraged complaints from women in response to my remarks:
Oh, no, we don’t want to be sexualized. You pig.
Yet any teenage boy or man knows this to be a complete lie when they walk by the women’s clothing section of any store, or see magazine covers at the supermarket, or watch women in bars.
Oh, but we don’t want you to view us lustfully, we want you to see us as attractive in a idealistic way. You pig.
You don’t get it. Or you do and you refuse to admit that any guy who doesn’t put the two together is probably gay.
We just want to feel good by looking good. It is for ourselves that we dress the way we do. You pig.
Uh-huh. What makes you feel good about yourselves just happens to be the exact thing that turns guys on? What an amazing coincidence. And I’d love to be able to walk around with a bacon t-shirt because it smells way more awesome than I do, but it still means every dog within 2 miles is going to want to be my best friend.
I read an article in Slate, where the gist of one commentor’s observation was that [the center of the bell curve of the varieties of] pr0n must actually be close to what a lot of men want because that is how the majority is done – there is a reason why the internet is clogged with pr0n downloads, and that is because what is there sells. I can’t believe that 1% of the population makes up for the pristine and pure remaining 99% who have never held the desire to see it (please note the sarcasm).
Think about it – if it wasn’t a turn-on for so many the way it is in it’s present form then it would not be this way, it would be in whatever form was the biggest turn-on. It just wouldn’t sell. Put another way, how many men read bosom-heaver, bodice-ripper, sweaty-nipple novels?† Not a great many because that doesn’t float the male boat as much as something really visual. Women consume printed BHBRSN porn – excuse me, erotica and romance – in a far greater percentage because that is what they like.
It should be noted here that the statistics are pointing to a sea-change in this area, challenging the notion that men are the only ones that go for the visual stimuli.
SOYLENT GREEN has a great following for three reasons – good writing, AGW-bashing, and T&A – it sells, and he makes no apologies for it. Go see a NSFW example of what I’m taking about at SOYLENT GREEN.
There’s supposedly this culture (Sami people) that has thousands of words for snow. That is because snow is very important to them. Well, tits are called by many names for the same reason. Here’s what Shakespeare would have said had the culture of the day been less sexually repressed.
“What’s in a name? That which we call a teat
By any other name would taste just as sweet.”
As to the list of mammarilogical/teatoligical euphemisms, they missed one below that I have heard and I find it amazingly humorous: Sweater-Puppies.
If you have others to add to the list, just shout ’em right out.
And ladies, for heaven’s sake, if you don’t want men’s eyes to track, cover your rack. And quitcherbitchin’ about it.
† I will take some heat from Cruel Wife for the BHBRSN remark.
Angel Cakes Double-Whammies Loaves PT Boats
Apples Dueling Banjos Loblollies Pumpkins
Balboas Dugs Love Melons Rangoons
Balloons Dumplings Love Muffins Rib Balloons
Bangers Dunes Lulus Rib Cushions
Bangles Ear Muffs Macaroons Rivets
Bassoons Eclairs Mambos Roundies
Baubles Eggplants Mammaries Sandbags
Bazongas Enchiladas Mammies Satellites
Bazookas Flapjacks Mams Scones
Bazooms Flappers Mangos Scoops
Beacons Flesh Bulbs Marangos Set
Beanbags Flesh Melons Maraschinos Shakers
Bebops Floaters Marimbas Shebas
Betty Boops Floats Mau Maus Shimmies
Big Boppers Fog Lights Mausers Silos
Bikini Stuffers Fried Eggs Meatballs Skin Sacks
Billibongs Fun Bags Meat Loaves Skooners
Blinkers Gagas Melons Smoothies
Bombers Garbos Milk Cans Snuggle Pups
Bombshells Gazingas Milk Fountains Spark Plugs
Bonbons Gazongas Milk Shakes Specials
Bongos Glands Molehills Spheres
Bonkers Globelets Mommas Spongecakes
Boobers Globes Mondos Spuds
Boobies Gob Stoppers Montezumas Stacks
Boobs Gongas Moo Moos Stuffing
Boops Goombas Mother Lodes Sugarplums
Bops Grapefruits Mounds Sweater Meat
Bosom Grillwork Mountain Peaks Sweater Puffs
Boulders Guavas Muchachas Sweet Rolls
Bouncers Gum Drops Muffins Tahitis
Bra Buddies Handsets Mulligans Tamales
Bra Stuffers Hand Warmers Mushmelons Tartugas
Bronskis Headers Nancies Tatas
Bubbas Headlamps Nectarines Tattlers
Bubbies Headlights Niblets Teats
Buds Headphones Nibs Tetons
Bulbs Headsets Nippeloons Thangs
Bulges Hefties Nippelos Thingamajigs
Bullets Heifers Nippers Tidbits
Bumpers Hemispheres Nippies Titbits
Bumps Hills Nips Tits
Bust Hindenburgs Nodes Titskis
Busters Honeydews Nodules Titters
Busties Honkers Noogies Titties
Butterballs Hood Ornaments Nose Cones Tomatoes
Buttons Hoohas Oompas Tooters
Caboodles Hooters Orbs Torpedoes
Cannon Balls Hot Cakes Ottomans Tortillas
Cantaloups Hottentots Padding Totos
Carumbas Howitzers Pagodas Twangers
Casabas Hubcaps Pair Tweakers
Cha-Chas Huffies Palookas Tweeters
Charlies Humdingers Papayas Twin Peaks
Chihuahuas Hush Puppies Parabolas Twofers
Chimichongas ICBM's Pastries Tympanies
Chiquitas Jawbreakers Paw Patties U-Boats
Coconuts Jemimas Peaches Umlauts
Congas Jibs Peakers Wahwahs
Corkers Jobbers Peaks Waldos
Creamers Jugs Pears Warheads
Cream Pies Jukes Pects Water-Melons
Cuhuangas Jumbos Peepers Whoppers
Cupcakes Kabukis Pillows Wind-Jammers
Curves Kalamazoos Pips Wobblers
Dingers Kazongas Plums WOngas
Dinghies Kazoos Pointer-Sisters Woofers
Dingos Knobbers Points Yabbos
Dirigibles Knockers Pokers Yams
Domes Kongas Polygons Yayas
Doodads Kumquats Pompons Zeppelins
Doozers Lactoids Pontoons Zingers
Doozies Lip Fodder Potatoes
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