Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for November 14th, 2011

Franken-boy turned six recently.  The wrap-around in the title has more to do with a python wrapped around a limb this weekend than any intellectual exercise.

Some weekends we usually go to this small coffee shop a half hour away and hang out with my buddy from the UofM.  About a month ago we were there and we had someone give us a flyer to a reptile zoo.  We offered to the boy the chance to have his birthday party with a bunch of snakes and lizards or Chuck E. Cheese’s.  I would argue that either place gives you snakes and lizards but the zoo has higher-quality ones.

Here is the question:

Do six year old boys like birthday parties if they involve snakes and lizards?

Do frogs have watertight assh*les?  Of course they do!  Are bears Catholic?  Does the Pope crap in the woods?  Do Occupy America losers sniff their own farts?

We got the party favors, Cruel Wife baked a snake-cake, we brought in pop, and we made a pizza run partway through the party.

What was there?  Glad you asked, because that is what I asked.  There were:

  1. Pythons
  2. Chameleons
  3. Tortoises
  4. Bearded Dragons
  5. Blue-Tongued Skinks (minor disappointment on my part when I learned that it was skinks and not skanks, but in the context we were working in, skinks really made more sense)
  6. Boas
  7. Rhino Iguanas (will charge anything but didn’t use a single credit card while we were there)
  8. Monitor lizards
  9. Crickets (food)
  10. Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches (maybe food)
  11. Scorpions†
  12. Tarantulas‡
  13. Brazilian Pink Salmon Bird Eating Tarantula (say that even once really fast, I dare you)
  14. Uromastyxes
  15. More criters
  16. Still more critters
  17. And more critters

† My least favorite animal  (tied for first place with earwigs)

‡ My second least favorite animal

The coolest part was near the end where they brought out some of the animals and let the kids hold them.  Blue-Tongued Skinks are cool.

The boy grinned from ear-to-ear with a big cheesy grin when he got to hold a real-live snake.  He was in awe when a 20 foot python hung down from it’s branch and was 6 inches from the boy’s nose (separated by glass).  Boy and snake stared at each other for minutes and minutes, which is pretty good for an autistic kid.

Meanwhile we were monitored by the Monitor Lizard who stood on it’s hind legs and monitored us as we went through the exhibits.  He did his job well.

****

I saw the pain clinic people again today.  I have officially given in and reluctantly agreed to higher doses of painkillers.  After months of the worsened state of discomfort from the herniated discs I gave up, especially since the neck and head are killing me (figuratively) and the arm and hand don’t feel all that much different from being scalded with hot water.   The only thing this afternoon that kept me from chopping my arm off at the elbow was the knowledge that it wouldn’t accomplish anything.

No, painkillers don’t help all that much for chronic pain but they take the sharp screaming edges off.

Friday is the meeting with another surgeon, and hopefully this guy will have a better solution.

Read Full Post »