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Archive for February, 2012

I’ll keep it short, Google.

SCREW YOU.

You think by bundling all your stuff up in one where I cannot cancel my account without losing youtube is going to coerce me into keeping you and your heavy-handed snooping?  No, really, screw you.  I’ll gladly do without you and anything to do with you.  Spent most of my life without you, and I’ll cheerily toss you in the trash for the rest of it.

You’re going the way of Netflix in my mind and in my dealings.  I’m voting with my feet.

I just hadn’t gotten around to the official act until now but I’ve already been using Bing for some time now.  And I’ll switch when they get abusive, too.

By the way, folks… Read this on How Target Figured Out a Teen Girl was Pregnant Before Her Father Did.

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A new graphic in the works.  It’ll be Doctor Lemur poster featuring a rendering of a product, which is a raytraced bottle made using the Dr. Lemur logo and stuff.  It is stuff wrapped in stuff wrapped in more stuff but I think it will look cool.

Here’s the newer one with more glassy glass.

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I’m going to let it speak for itself.

First lady Michelle Obama has joined her husband’s bandwagon to hit the rich and spread the wealth, questioning how well-off families can feel good if others are struggling.  – Michelle Obama’s Pitch – Share the Wealth

Poor baby must herself be up at night getting worry lines and filled with self-loathing.  I assume that there is always a lot of soul-searching going on insider her head, huh?

With all that worry, she needs to take a vacation.  What is it now?  16 in three years?  Oh definitely.

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A friend is going through a terrible recovery process from addiction.  Won’t you step over and wish her well in her fight to escape (however temporary it may be) from the ravaging clutches of chocolate?

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Holy Crayfish of Dune, Batman!

It’s clear then, that the space-folding Navigators from Dune are actually the descendants of Red Crayfish.

Found at the site for the University of Hull Fluid Dynamics Laboratory - crayfish after expelling water through it's olfactory apparatus.

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I managed to scarf two donuts and two Pączkis.  Someone mentioned that they wanted to see a picture of one.  So here you go…

What could be a Pączki, if I hadn't eaten them all.

I was on a Mission from God Tuesday morning to even find any at all.  The guy at Zingerman’s looked at me apologetically and said “You needed to reserve them ahead of time.  No reserved boxes, no Pączkis.”

“Can I reserve three boxes right now for pickup in ten minutes if I wait over there by the door?”

I tried in vain to look like a nice person but failed miserably.

“No.”

There was no hint of apology in his voice this time.

Damn.

So I frantically drove around looking for a place that could serve an honest Pączki. I skipped Kroger, didn’t have time to drive to Hamtramck, and when I stopped in Meijers with the cloying scent of defeat and shame  and asked the gal if they had any Pączkis, she looked at me and said…

What are Pączkis?

I struggled valiantly to suppress the twitches of various body parts and to not look disappointed.  I  must have failed in the attempt since the baker-ess took several steps back and was trying to reach for the phone. An elderly couple gasped and somebody whistled. A tumbleweed rolled by.

So I bought four large packages of chocolate donuts, donut holes, cinnamon rolls, and raspberry donuts to quell the whinging of my co-workers.  If you listen to them they will tell you that I was the one to start whining about pastries on Tuesday morning.  DO NOT LISTEN TO MY CO-WORKERS.  THEY LIE.  ALL OF THEM.

On the way back to work I asked Cruel Wife to please look at a nearby grocer to see if they had any. Thirty minutes later she called to report success. Yay!!!

I could only eat two. I was all proud of scarfing down two paczkis.

Curtail Friar put on a professional show of Fat Tuesday and I feel inadequate. It is fair to say that crammed inside each pastry is seventeen eggs, two quarts of whole milk, two sticks of butter, and nine cups of sugar but I still feel like an amateur.

Perhaps I was unfair to not post a real pic for you.  Here are the only two Pączkis known to be roaming in the wild in our house.  They alone survived the gauntlet.  I will turn them loose and perhaps there will be more roaming around next year.

The nimble Raspberry and Apple Pączki. The slower custard/creme ones did not have a chance.

On the kid front… there’s some improvement but still a great deal of concern on our parts.

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Utah.  Where a kid needs to get permission from a parent for each and every tanning session but only notification (if possible) given to the parent before a teen gets an abortion.

Wow.  It’s good to make sure your kids are safe from harmful UV radiation and it’s also good to have unimpeded ability for your children to kill their children.

Santorum may have said something politically stupid when he talked of “Satan Attacking America” but he probably did the right thing by saying it anyway.

Regardless of your stance on abortion (and I’m going on record as opposing it, vehemently) you have to admit that not requiring parental consent is taking too much of being a parent away from the parents.

Let’s put it this way – teens gets to exercise their options in being a parent but the teen’s parents do not?

Seriously?  And yet we’re concerned here with excessive tanning sessions?

That is all.

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We are still in a holding pattern with another doctor appointment in two weeks.  In the meantime we will see if a certain medication helps the family member in distress.  We’ll leave it vague like that to protect privacy.  No, it’s not me.

But at least we know more than we did this morning, which was (Jack + Squat) * 0,  which was coming out as “nothing” every single time.  So if you’re wired for anonymous prayers I’d count it as a kindness.

Luckily, tomorrow is Pączki Day, or Fat Tuesday, and I will eat three of them.  I will do so even if the food police come and take me away and torture me with rancid kelp milkshakes for a month.  I will have plum filling for one, raspberry (I hope they have, I do), and lemon (to me, it is saving the best for last).  Yes those last two are non-standard you-are-probably-going-to-culinary-hell ingredients but gosh darn it I love ’em.

Perhaps The Dude could weigh in on this and tell me if this is so or not.

And then I’ll calmly gobble them anyway.

The big questions readers are asking is “Lemur, what are you giving up for Lent?”

I honestly don’t know.  If I were to give up Shin Cups or toasted seaweed I could end up damaging my body severely.  You can’t just drop those sorts of things without considering the physical dependence upon them.

Perhaps I should give up something like All Bran™ or maybe grilled radicchio.  Or cuttlefish.  Or Yoo Hoo™.

So keep asking that question:  “Lemur, what are you giving up for Lent?”

Hopefully by now at least one or two readers are asking that question where none were before.

I hope to have an answer soon.  One year, believe it or not, I decided to forego any use of the internet that did not directly result from the requirements of work.  That was a sobering experience.  I wept, I gnashed teeth, I heaped dirt and coals upon my head.  Then I steeled myself and prepared to meet Day 2 head-on.

I know someone who once gave up booze and chocolate at the same time and some say it drove her stark bug-shit crazy-insane.  Some say she suffers from the trauma to this day.

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Meanwhile, yes, I am still pondering the last portion of that short story Aggie Sith demanded a while back.  A whopping 11% of people reading this blog have expressed continued interest – both of them did so more than once, I should add.

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Time out.

We had what you could call a true family emergency this week that is still ongoing. Think of it like a really slow ponderous train wreck. For a wonder it has nothing to do with me but I would rather it had.

I could not begin to tell you how this next week is going to go, so my attendance may be spotty.

Perhaps you could complain in the comments section and induce McGoo to do a guest blog posting or two… (hint hint)

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Pissed off.

Our male cat, Jack O. Katt, has some issues.  One thing that issues from his furry carcass is urine.

This is fine.  This is normal and good.  It’s a sign of a healthy cat.

Yet in an insecure and territorial male cat who sees an outdoor cat wander by his window in an admittedly cocky and disrespecting fashion – daily – tends to want to mark his own domain.

His domain is our domain since he is a house cat and the items that suffer are legion.  Just a few things:  Clothes, rugs, bookcases, walls, wicker trunks, and recently a framed and matted picture of Cruel Wife and her sisters, Crazy Sister and Driven Sister.

Naturally the last item prompted Cruel Wife to put up curtains in the bay window to restrict the incarcerated kitty from viewing unwelcome visitors.

I just told him “So, you lost your room with a view.  So sorry, but if you hadn’t pissed all over the house this might not have happened.  Look, you get three squares a day, a large house to nap in anywhere you like, you get a generous medical and benefits package and the retirement plan is to die for.  Is it so much to ask that you sit around and look pretty, purr every now and then, and not piss on the furnishings?”

He just stared at me.

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Scanners.

Went in for the CaT scan on Saturday morning.  Nothing unusual to report other than the contrast dye.

I told my daughter they have a special cat with a magnifying glass fitted over one eye and that he looks you all over upsy-downsy and meowfs if he sees something.

The gal says “Ok, we need to inject this into you so we can see the bone and bits-o-stuff.”  Bits of stuff probably wasn’t the technical terminology.  But she continued on, “Well, a lot of people get a warm fuzzy feeling, or flushed, or sometimes hot, but a very common side effect is that you’re going to feel like you really have to pee badly.”

“Oh, so I should go now?  I’d just as soon go now.”

“Oh sure, but don’t worry, I haven’t once had anyone wet themselves in the scanner.”

(How about just afterwards?)

They put me in the scanner, did some things, did some other things, and then she says “I’m going to have the machine inject the dye now.”

“WHOA!  THAT IS FASCINATING!”

The warmth started at the roof of my mouth, went to the back of my mouth, and made a beeline for my bladder.

“THAT IS SO WICKED COOL!”

And a few seconds later, it was gone.

Maybe they’ll call me today with the results.

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Ok, this meddling _insert_profanity_here and her ideas are beyond the pale.

But, then again, the more stupid things she and Reservoir Tip do, the quicker they’ll be packing their (fecal matter) up and exiting the White House.  Keep up the good work, MO!

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Who knows what reCaptcha is?

If you don’t, it is a web-app that attempts to stop spam and use the reader to interpret words or snippets of book’s contents.  It is kind of cool except I can’t stand human-tests like this.  I can’t read most of them anyway and I’m fully human, last time I checked.

A spambot won’t know what the gibberish word is that uses negative/positive backgrounds and lettering, and on the other snip the person may be able to, or if enough people take a stab at it, they may be able to do a recognition on something the computer can’t read.

Here is what I got today to verify that I was human.  FOR THE RECORD, I COULD NOT READ EITHER ONE.

On an english-speaking website, no less.

So will we be looking at world domination by muslims on top of the whole Terminator/Skynet issue?  Compound insult and injury.

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Oh yeah? Well… well…

Oh yeah?  Well… well… well, I think you guys are just a bunch of poopy-heads.

Sayeth Newt, who looks even more like a toad than he did before.

Note:  He’s not far off to say that the republican establishment is a cheap version of the democrat establishment, however, to say it right after you’ve just gotten spanked just makes you look like a petulant little child.

Newt has been smoking fruit loops.

But visionary people — this is why I’m a Reaganite — Reagan got it.  – Newt G., telling us that he’s a Reaganite

Sorry, Newt, Reagan had more class in his tiniest fart than you’ve got in your whole body.

“I’m happy to debate my opponents on whether or not a bold, visionary exciting job-creating future that secures our national security by having us lead the way rather than China or Russia or India, whether that’s the right path for a strong, prosperous America,” Gingrich said.  – Newt, busy neutering himself

Hey, no on argues with competition being a part of the solution to the future issues we got coming up.  But it’s not all of it.  Seriously, there’s more issues here than just competition or making a pit-stop on the moon.  Like remaining solvent in light of the budget fiasco looming ahead.

Because I got nothin’ better, I’ll probably throw my vote Santorum’s way.  No one’s worse than Obama.  Then it’s Newt.  Then Mittens.  Then Santorum.  Newt only scores so low because he’s an undisciplined jerk.  He’s a smart one but he’s too unstable.

I honestly don’t think that even if Mittens is elected there’s going to be enough liberal clout to keep Obamacare from being hacked into little pieces.  But also, I think there’s probably 3:1 odds that we’re looking at four more years of ol’ Reservoir Tip as president.

If I’d had to choose between all of them I’d have to call on Perry despite his faults.  But everyone ganged up on him early on.  Fair to say, he put in a really bad showing for himself at times but I think he was/is capable of better.

Next election let’s just do the primaries in one big sweep instead of this ego-stroke of a state ordering (which always seemed to make the western states irrelevant both during the primary and the general election), stop this debate crap, and have everyone say what they are going to say and move right along, shall we?  We’re not helping ourselves by killing off the strongest.  We are ending up with “winners” that are easily beaten by the real enemy, the one who we KNOW we don’t like.

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Stories are never short.

Still working on that short story Aggie challenged us to a while back.

Feh.  Some short story.  Upwards of 15,000 words and 80 pages. Hoping to wrap that up soon.

There’s a teensy hitch however.  I noticed that the donor bone location for the neck fusion had a wee bit of… black.  Started messing with it and got black, red, and yellow ooze.  So, now I’ve had a nose swab, blood work, urine test, and tomorrow I go back for maybe a CT scan and a IV lock.  If I’m lucky I’ll get to do my own IV antibiotics for the next two weeks.

So it would explain why I’ve been so punked for weeks on end.   Joyjoyjoyjoyjoy.

On the good side the surgeon who did my neck was tickled with the improved arm strength.

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Go check out Damon Darlin’s article at NYT.  Sausage wrapped in a webbing of bacon and then smoked.  5000 calories and 500g of fat.  Makes me want it all the more, it does.

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It isn’t news but I’m still steaming about Ruth Bader Ginsberg, the most humiliating SCOTUS member of my life to date.  She took that honor from O’Connor with her little remark:

I would not look to the U.S. Constitution, if I were drafting a constitution in the year 2012. I might look at the constitution of South Africa. That was a deliberate attempt to have a fundamental instrument of government that embraced basic human rights, have an independent judiciary. It really is, I think, a great piece of work that was done. – SCOTUS’ Ruth Bader Ginsberg

At first when I heard that I thought it was a cruel joke.  Nuh-uh.

Seriously?  She has never read the Constitution?  You would think that ours wasn’t an attempt at those very things.  We’re a very young country as those things go and yet we’ve got a pretty darned old Constitution.  It allows for change but not frivolously so.  It isn’t meant to be a living document and it is meant to give the most freedoms possible.
Someone, please tell me why a Supreme Court Justice is someone who is misrepresenting us in other countries, in particular one with a really frickin’ shitty human rights record.  She’s a member of the highest court in the US, not a friggin’ liberal.   Ok, that didn’t come out right.  She’s not supposed to represent us in a lib capacity.

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Update:

They’re coming out with Lego Lord of the Rings now after all the others – Lego Harry Potter, Lego Indiana Jones, Lego Star Wars.

Lord of the Rings.  Huh.  I hope they have LEGOlas the elf in there.

Honest.  I am not making this up.

(h/t to Inscrutable Half-Breed)

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Gingrich:

Today, we’re announcing the 2012 launch of White Americans for Gingrich.

There’s no better time than now to consider the tremendous progress we’ve made through the sacrifice of so many—or a better time to commit to meeting the very real challenges we face right now.

Visit whiteamericans.newtgingrich.com for more information about all the ways you can get involved—from attending PWCU† organizing workshops to becoming a Congregation Captain—and say you’re ready to keep making history. Thanks, and see you out there.

Well that’s just what you expect a racist old cracker like Gingrich to say, isn’t it?

Sure it is, step on the black man, that’s the way of it, isn’t it?

But Gingrich never said it.  He may have displayed spectacularly bad grooming and judgment this election year, but he’s not that stupid.

What sounds repulsive if Newt were to have said it seems perfectly acceptable to the president. If a white candidate said what Obama said I’d drop him like a rock – and I’m white.  Said Obama:

Today, we’re announcing the 2012 launch of African Americans for Obama.

There’s no better time than African American History Month to consider the tremendous progress we’ve made through the sacrifice of so many—or a better time to commit to meeting the very real challenges we face right now.

Visit africanamericans.barackobama.com for more information about all the ways you can get involved—from attending HBCU organizing workshops to becoming a Congregation Captain—and say you’re ready to keep making history. Thanks, and see you out there.

Non-African-Americans need not apply.

The expectation is that it should be allowed and never commented on as I’m doing here because “Gosh-darn-it, it’s obvious that 75% of the whites out there just hate blacks.”

I don’t feel that way at all.  But I’m sure tired of the idea of  a “we blacks have to stick together” club, that somehow there’s some deeper sharing going on because of skin color, or that any failure on the part of someone who is black must be because of racism and oppression, rather than admit to the possibility that some bad life decisions might have been made.

And I certainly don’t feel especially close to any other whites because they’re white, too.  I don’t know a stranger off the street from Adam.  Sure we might be friends but we might absolutely hate each other’s guts, too.  There’s no sense of shared brotherhood there.

You go look at white trailer trash sometime and no one says “Oh, there’s a lot of people there because they’re beaten down.”  No one says that.  They just look at them and say “Well that there is one sorry-ass sonofabitch.”

Predominantly White Colleges and Universities

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This is enough to really piss me off.  Georgia students using food stamps.

“With me being a senior and living on campus for the past four years, I honestly got tired of paying that amount of money per semester just to eat,” student Taylor Smith told the paper. “I did not even know that I was applicable for food stamps until someone told me about the site and to apply to see if I would get it.”

Added Smith, “Since then, I have saved a ton of money.”

“I got tired of paying that amount of money.”  Not, I wasn’t able to get enough food, but she got tired of paying that amount.

“I have saved a ton of money.”

This isn’t a program so you can save some bucks, kid.  It’s so you can eat.  I ate lots of ramen noodles and worked outside of school.  I don’t know where the idea came from that supplemental food programs were so you could go to school and eat for free.  Take less classes if you cannot afford it.

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He’s on a roll today, folks.

“And so when I talk about our financial institutions playing by the same rules as folks on Main Street, when I talk about making sure insurance companies aren’t discriminating against those who are already sick, or making sure that unscrupulous lenders aren’t taking advantage of the most vulnerable among us, I do so because I genuinely believe it will make the economy stronger for everybody. But I also do it because I know that far too many neighbors in our country have been hurt and treated unfairly over the last few years, and I believe in God’s command to ‘love thy neighbor as thyself.'”  – Obama Lovin’ Himself

Suddenly he cares about college student tuitions, homeowners who never should have been given loans are on his list of people to save, and he’s polishing his christian (yes, I used lowercase) image.

Gotta give him credit – he knows who to bribe and cozy up to.  He’s got no sense of the word disingenuous, however.

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Really on a roll…

Agent Dead, Cover-Up Alleged, No Punishment — Holder? It’s ‘Political’

It’s probably racist, too.

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Courtney Love might not be the best parent after all?  Dang, that one caught me by surprise.

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