Some sort of flu or cold or something. I know it involves 36+ hours of horrible cheek and brow pain (sinuses), lots of coughing (lungs, duh), and joint pain. Fever. Did I forget the fever?
Praying the family doesn’t get it. I went into this thinking “Yep, just gonna tough this out, I’ll be fine.”
Day 1: Can’t… stop… coughing… it’s like… I have… a… wet… kitten… in my lungs.
Day 2: Yep, it’s uncomfortable but that never stopped nobody, right? Just means I’m ALIVE. HA! Where’s that cold medicine? Whaddya mean I took some only an hour ago?
Day 3: Damn, no painkiller I have works on this face pain. (And I still have plenty of painkillers, none do a damn thing) Damn. And it hurts bad. And it doesn’t stop. Ow. *$(# me. 102F fever. Huh.
Day 4: (4:30am) Almost fell asleep, damn cat yowled just as I fell asleep. %&@(!@ cat. If it is so cold in here why are the sheets sticking to me?
Day 5: (today) You know how I said I was going to work tomorrow? Uh, about that… Hey, are solid clumps of blood supposed to come out your sinuses? Ew.
So maybe I had a mild case of Ebola. Who knows?
I do know that I can’t hear jack shit. Luckily I can read lips so if Cruel Wife wants me to understand all she has to do is get my attention and we can go from there. Seriously, there’s so much crap in my ears I can’t hear hardly anything. And my hearing sucked before…
I do know that after the last five years I hate doctors. When I can’t fight them off you can take me to see one.
Oh yes… about the continued erosion of your rights. Michigan DNR invades farms, forces farmers to kill stock personally while they watch.
Oh, about those toys you need… here they are. Greatest toy in the universe might be stretching it if you are a guy past the age of puberty and discovered girls but hell, this might even come third place. Six legged r/c robots.
It’s not really paranoia if they are truly out to get you. You could be wrong, but what if you’re not? Door alarm!
What kid couldn’t have used this one growing up?
If I had tried this excuse to get out of a ticket I’d have been nailed for being a smartass. proofofinnocence