A bit over a week ago I had that cold/flu/ebola thing that just kicked the everloving stuffing out of me. I worked from home Wednesday and then returned to work the rest of the week, unable to hear a damn thing – this is not a good thing when you started life with only half your hearing in the first place, because what is left is at a premium. And then there were the headaches. And toothaches. And the green stuff.
After searching the web:
First try a saline spray, decongestant, or antihistamine.
I was later told that all of the above were bad and no-no-offlimitsverbotenevil. It was explained to me that using one of those came with a high risk of tearing the fabric of space and time, possibly leading to a resurgence of Richard Simmons exercise re-runs on prime-time TV, and nobody wants that.
Staying well hydrated can keep nasal secretions flowing freely, preventing stuffiness that can harbor infection.
If staying well-hydrated were of universally huge benefit, people would not have to see the doctor ever, would they? I drank as much coffee, tea, and Red Bull™ as I could choke down, to no effect. Additionally, I have never been accused of being “stuffy”.
Capsaicin pepper spray is an alternative remedy showing some promise.
Take it from me, Michigan-legal pepper spray does NOTHING for your sinuses beyond making you wish you could die an instant death, so just don’t even go there. They are full of sh*t. There’s absolutely no promise to pepper spray beyond the one of intense agony. Fool me once, shame on you… fool me seventeen times shame on me. But it was worth a shot.
If symptoms persist, talk to your doctor about prescription remedies. Antibiotics can cure bacterial infections and reduce swelling in sinuses.
Yeah. Ok. Symptoms persisted. The web says go see a doctor.
What’s that, Cruel Wife? You’ve been saying that for days? Sure you have. I’d have noticed.
So the doc said Friday morning that it is not an ear infection. She had to say it several times apparently because I was not looking at her the first few times. Nope, it’s a raging nasty sinus infection. That made sense because she had just looked up my nose and muttered something about greens and reds and:
“Yuk, gross.”
With the ink still wet on the Rx in my hand I left the office, dragging myself across the waiting room floor for the amusement of the other patients.
The doc insisted that the current disease floating around seems to snicker at Zithromax and then turn around and smack you a few more times for giving it any hassle. Zithromax then goes and sits on the bench, wishing it could someday be in the major leagues. Well, she didn’t say that, but I thought it.
The pill, (the color of an inflamed internal organ, interestingly) is roughly the size of an obese ping-pong ball or a hairless hamster without legs. It appears to be covered in a leathery shell and studded with Teflon™ covered spikes to make it go down easier.
Two days later I’m still kind of feeling like I’ve been eaten by ravenous wolves, improperly digested, crapped out, and re-shaped into a thing resembling a Lemur.
“Have patience!” the Medicos say. “It usually takes (wait… what day is this? two days?) … uh, THREE days for the stuff to work.”
So much for nine days ago when I thought “Meh, this is just a wimpy little bug, life will go on and I will laugh it off! (ho ho ho ho)” I guess you don’t always get to make that call. My boss was out two weeks and then still has had a day here and there out sick so it could be worse, hm?
At the moment I am very very energy-less. Feel ok for a bit, get ambitious about some big project like picking up a piece of paper on the floor, and CRASH – woozy and as listless as a Occupy America devotee.
Because of all of this I suggest very strongly that you avoid getting the currently circulating cold/flu/ebola/listeria-pox thing lest it dissolve into the green phlegm of sinus hell. It’s not worth your time.
****
Right after the doctor visit, I picked up my new reading glasses. Friday night I asked Girlhead “Ok, be truthful, do you think the new glasses look cool or do they just make me look old?”
She looked at me with this grin and said “No, Dad, they make you look like a GEEK.”
I did ask for honesty, and the girl is brutally honest. Always has been. I like that about her. My opinion is if you don’t want the truth, don’t ask. Or, even if you don’t like the truth, don’t blame the person you asked because… you asked.
“Yeah, but is it geeky in a good way or in a bad way?”
(Pausing to consider) “Good, I think.”
“Well, that’s a relief.”
Lemur King's Folly 
Well, since geeks stereotypically look ill all the time, the new glasses should make faking it at the office much easier.
Hang in there.
Capsaicin…? For a Chili-head…? Puh-lease.
No faking is necessary.
Made pad krapow last night and mis-judged the payload. Cruel Wife was able to eat half a bowl of it and then gave up. I had two bowls but I was indeed sweating.
I still have my tonsils so I generally get tonsilitis of strep throat once a year.
When I used to go to the dr for that stuff, i would always get some -icillin and sidafed. I never took them as I found that I got better just as quickly without.
I did find out once, on accident, that drinking with anti-biotics make you drunk very quickly. I had two beers, I was in college at the time, and I was hammered.
Now, as soon as I start feeling ill, I buy a couple jugs of grapefruit juice and guzzle them down, I generally only stay sick for a couple days, but my immune system is fairly robust from getting so sick all the time when I was younger.
I think my immune system is down from the stress of the whole neck thing, work, life, fambly issues, and the fact that my body has to exert itself so much just to provide nutrients for my enormous intellect.
No, I wasn’t able to type that with a straight face.
I drank lots of cran-grape, ate lots of sour gummy worms, and kept up a sour disposition. You’d think that would have been a pretty inhospitable environment for the sinus germs.
Dang, I hope you get to feeling better soon!