Day 5 of Sustained In-Law Loud Yammering (AKA “Operation SILLY”).
Must leave tactical tomahawk where it is…must leave tactical tomahawk where it is… must…
My MiL is a bat-crap crazy Food Nazi (BCCFN).
I had just gotten done with making a german potato salad and since she can’t eat a lot of salt I pointed her to a bowl of it that I made just for her, and mentioned that the only salt in it was the the bacon crumbles. She said “You know, you can get salt-free bacon at Lostco.”
I looked at her blankly and said “Huh.” Then I went somewhere else.
Now, it’s just this sort of judgmental thing that really steams my clams. You could poo-poo it away and say it is not a judgment but it totally is. I notice she hasn’t said a think about the inadequacy of my cast iron skillets, truck tires, choice in shoes, etc. What she DOES comment on is things that I do that she might not agree with. I use salt. I don’t give a rat’s tushy about bacon grease, and dammit, I cook for flavor. I am not about to go buy 32lbs of salt-free bacon for my MiL. Sorry.
I do not like my choices put on display or to have to rationalize or defend my choices. This has created some stress/tension between Cruel Wife and myself because they are her parents. After a “discussion” we decided that she would try to deflect and I am allowed to say something if it comes up.
Not even five minutes later I’m taking the chicken off the smoker and BCCFN stops and says “You know, I did some looking online and found some bullion that has no salt in it. I said, “BCCFN, if you find this stuff online and you want some, let me know and I can get it ordered for you with no shipping costs.”
She said, “No, I already have some, I meant for you.”
I turned around slowly, stared at her with my most soul-less smile – the one that doesn’t reach my eyes and makes the cats incontinent – and said in the best imitation of Clint Eastwood scorn that I could dredge up, “But BCCFN, I don’t have even the slightest interest in low salt foods. None.” and then just as slowly, with the smile still in place, I turned back to my chicken extraction.
Shut her right up and she went right into the house w/o another word.