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Archive for July 10th, 2012

Spare Change.

I took a number of days off last week because, honestly, in amongst all my excessively intense and rambling posts, I was kind of mentally tired.  Yes.  From work.

The 4th of July has a couple of posts dedicated to it but here’s another.

We came, we saw, we roasted (Veni, vidi, crispi – or something in that vein).

I am a creature of simple needs at times and the 4th was no exception.  As we passed the area where people could park to watch the fireworks and I saw a food booth with two of my favorite words on it.  Corn. Dogs.

What’s not to love?  You’re either looking at lips-n-assholes in breading or chicken-lips-n-assholes with breading and deep-fried.  I put it to the children thusly:  Hot dogs are yummy but at best they are mouth and ass parts of some animal with lots of fat and connective tissue thrown in for that extra animal-ey goodness flavor enhancement.

In the Northwest two things you could always find at a corner gas station were corn dogs and jo-jos.  I’m told that’s regional, so to save time a jo-jo is not a cheap hooker it is potato wedges battered and fried.

So I do not get my regular allowance of corn-dogs.  I purposefully skipped meals in order to look forward to the moment that I could slather one with mustard and wolf it down in steaming mouth-burning gulps.

At the booth we ordered three corn dogs and four lemonades.  We get our lemonades and since it was 94 degrees at 9:00pm and muggy as hell we all sucked down a bunch at once.  Before the other two dogs were distributed I had already unwrapped mine, licked it once to lay claim on it, and headed towards the mustard.

I could have sworn I heard the gal ask for a large sum of money for our sweetened drinks and fried animal parts but I was swept up in the intense feelings of the moment.  Only thing better is a good Reuben.

I was on my fourth and last bite and my brain, being a parallel but asynchronous construct, suddenly processed the damage report for our four sweetened drinks and three animals on a stick.

Thirty-five dollars.  $35.  3500¢.  Roughly 2000 Rupees. €28.50 (don’t get too caught up in the Euro, it may not last forever, eh?).  руб 1153.

It’s not a HUGE sum of money.  We could have afforded it.  But it was the principle.  We could have gone out for a decent meal for that price.

For the rest of the night… long… slow… burn.

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