Because God knows that people have been mercilessly persecuted for not engaging in self-gratification or fornication.
Peeping Toms and voyeurs everywhere are being denied titillating experiences and hunting down those who have no interest in mutual gratification or self-diddlation. Bedroom police are crashing these people’s bedrooms after noticing a distinct absence of KY™, Trojans™ (or other prophylactic devices), toys, and moisturizing lotion on their credit cards.
I predict that in the future, everyone will be found to have unique minority status in their sexual orientations – left v. right hand, a particular partner, anything that moves, anything that doesn’t move, cows, watermelons, picnic tables, etc. – and there will be approximately 7.5 billion people each qualifying for their own special status.
And those who really need that “asexual” label to feel secure, most likely those who weren’t breast-fed long enough, will at last feel the comfort of the warm bosomy embrace of government as it cradles them and shelters them from the heinous treatment they suffer daily.
I have gay friends who have had a bazillion times worse than this. This is just plain ridiculous.
Semi-alert ID10T Killer passes on this graphic that got stuck in this mail. He thought it was gauche, tasteless, and wanted to know what kind of game it really is. I sure wonder.
It sure does look like they are trying to give you some sort of deal.