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Archive for September, 2012

By now there may have been disease carriers in your area (children, for example) who have offered to infect you with a gastrointestinal ailment.

Let me offer this advice – under no circumstances accept this infection from any plague carriers that may be peddling their wares.  Seven days of this, and the most delicate way I can put this is to say “Geese have stood back in amazement at the efficiency of my intestinal tract.”

Co-worker Rectified Diode had it for fifteen days.  I advise you in the strongest terms possible to avoid it.

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I’m honestly not sure… the Japanese have some amazingly cool cultural traits and I think the mindset formed by that culture is fascinating… but they’re off the rails at times.

Like injecting saline into your forehead and making a dimple so you look like you’ve got a bagel in your skull.

There just isn’t a great deal many things that are odder.  Sicker, yes.  Grosser, maybe, ok yes.  Mind-numbingly peculiar in its own class, absolutely.

Once his forehead is fully swollen and he has had the bagel’s “hole” pressed into it he looks in the mirror.

On seeing his “bagel head” reflection he smiles and says: “Oh sweet buttery bagels, I’m impressed.

“I look delicious.”

Ask yourself this question:  Can you point to any other culture where a person engaging in this behavior would say “I look delicious”?

Pay particular attention to the choice of words here:

“We stayed in contact, then eventually I experienced saline with him in 2003 and he gave me permission to bring it to Japan.”

When someone uses the words “… eventually I experienced _____ with him…” it is time to run.  It does not matter what they experienced, there is just no way to synthesize a sentence that works out in a normal social context.
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Cruel Wife sent me a pic that I feel applies perfectly to Crazy Cat Lady (CCL) at work.
Obviously this is a horrifying example of animal cruelty because those cats had to be drugged in order for sixteen of them to sit still long enough for a photo.
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Michael Savage is a peculiar thing for me.  On one hand I think he’s extremely intelligent.  On another hand I think he’s an egomaniac.  On another hand I really like him.  On yet another hand he bugs the everloving crap out of me.
But any guy who can piss off Great Britain enough to be banned from the country has my support.  That takes effort.  They won’t even ban Jeremy Clarkson and he’s been an ass for years.  But he managed to win in a court case to get out of a contract that he no longer wanted to be in and won.  Good for you, Savage.  Yes, yes, he signed a contract, but at some point (8 years) you ought to be able to say “Sorry, I don’t want to be part of this.”
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aliceaitch may have a standing shoot-on-sight order out on me after my comment but I loved her post on the relative amount of housechores done by spouses.

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Glaciers be damned, we’ve got more important things going on today.

Note the involvement of Lemurita in this endeavor.

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Time for a reality check.

Contrary to ideas about the disappearance of Pastoruri, engineer Benjamin Morales Arnao, local glaciologist, to state testing a method to reverse the thaw, though many may consider unorthodox, has already received its first positive results: Cover the ice with a layer of sawdust 15 cm thick. The experiment was carried out in the mounts Chaupijanca and Pastoruri. The results are clear: the fields look like a plateau covered in snow. Thus, the first glacier managed to keep four meters of ice and in the second five. “This material acts as an insulator. Contains cellulose and, thus, we managed to decrease the melting glacier. Although this method has worked well, we’ll be testing other alternatives”, refers Morales..  (Yes, wikipedia but reported on NPR today)

Let’s assume for the sake of a silly argument that SOYLENT GREEN is absolutely and utterly full of sh*t (and he is, by his own admission, just not about AGW and many other things †), and we’ll assume that AGW is “real”.

Note:  Hilariously, SOYLENT GREEN’s posting today is titled “Do The Math”…

Some numbers based on Arnao’s experiment.  Let’s propose that we are going to save that glacier (Pastoruri Glacier) using his method – cover a glacier with 150mm of sawdust.

AG (area Pastoruri glacier) = 3.1 km^2 = 3,100,000 m^2

DC (depth of chips) = 0.15m depth

VC (volume chips) = 465,000 m^3 = 608,197 yds (cubic)

Dens (oak ‡) = 600 lbs/yd

MC (mass of chips) = 364,918,224 lbs

MOT (mass of one oak tree) = 20,000 lbs

SNOTTMD (small number of oak trees that must die) = 18,245 oak trees for 3.1 km^2

(breathes, continues)

AGW (oopsie, area top 10 glaciers in the world) = 13,745,426 km^2

At 18,245 oaks per 3.1 km^2 it’s 5,885 dead oaks per km^2…

LNOOTTSTPG (large number of oak trees to save the planet’s glaciers) = 81,255,670,649 oak trees

Now, just prove to me that these numbers are any less silly than the bullsh*t numbers SOYLENT GREEN and others are fighting daily that have come out of Hansen, Gore, Briffa, Jones, etc.  Most of the numbers were researched educated guesses based on assumptions pulled out of my ass.  Just like science.

I’m pointing out what kind of fruitbats conduct experiments covering glaciers with sawdust.

So next time some idiot spouts off about saving the glaciers remind them that a fellow fruitbat suggested killing 81 billion trees to accomplish that mission.

SOYLENT GREEN is most definitely not full of shit unless he wants to be

Oak was used because there are a lot of numbers on it and denser trees make for more believable numbers than if we used pine trees

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Insert Word Here.

Cruel Wife told Hacker-Boy that he needed to get ready for bed.

His scowl, closed fists, set jaw, and head lowered – it was man language – I felt a need to translate for CW.

I said (sotto voce):  “You bitch.”

She looked at me, shaking her head.

“You know that’s what he was thinking about you… he just didn’t have the words.”

Which gave us both a good hearty laugh because it’s true.

We’re not so old we don’t remember being kids ourselves.

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While we’re on that topic… right hand to God, this was my pre-pre-bedtime-story discussion with Lemurita…

She was complaining about how pizza is ruined.  She says “It tastes like garbage.  Miss Obama really messed up our pizza.”

Of course she is referring to Michelle O’s crusade to decide what is best for our children, as if we couldn’t decide.    And here.

I asked her “You do know why mom and I are conservative, right?” We’ll leave the concepts of conservative, libertarian, republicrats, liberal, commies (oops, already said liberal, didn’t I?), and the merits of each for when she’s older.

“What does that mean?”

“Well, for one thing – among many – it means that we believe that in this country we should have the right to choose what we do and don’t want to eat, that it isn’t up to our government to decide those things for us.  We tell them what to do, not the other way around.”

She said “Well, I think if people are brave enough, they should write to the government and tell them they want our food back.”

“I agree absolutely, Lemurita, with one teensy exception.  You know what that is?”

“No.  What?” she asked.

“I believe that we should never have to be brave to exercise our rights.  If you want to stand on the corner and shout out your opinion or go to the Mall in DC then you have that right because we live in a free country.  A lot of people in the world don’t get to do that, but we do.  It is just a matter of people getting off their butts and saying and doing things and voting.  That’s why we vote, so we can pick the people we want to go to Washington who will do what we want, not – for example – the unelected wife of our President.  Someday we may have a woman President and I’ll say for her husband what I say for the First Lady now – if you want to get involved in our government, run for office and get elected.  Don’t assume because your spouse was elected that it makes you special.”

Lemurita said “She sure ruined our pizza.”

She may be nine, but she’s been given a priceless lesson by the Obamas, which is rule of the people is far less palatable than rule by the people.

The kids take lunches to school now.  No way are we going to be a part of this ridiculous program.

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Fox News is getting stupider by the day, I swear.  They posted this pic with the caption:

Emmy Style: Hot or Not?

Seriously?  This is the equivalent to saying:

Ribs: Hot or Not?

I mean, great googley moogley… just LOOK at them.

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And here is a real live Public Safety Announcement from Lemur King (really really).

It was pointed out by my late mother-in-law, a chemist, that cooking the dish will not get rid of all the alcohol that you add to it for quite some time.  I was curious and damned if she wasn’t absolutely right.  So if you have a thing about exposure to ethanol in quantity, give it a think before you go tipping up a bottle of vino in your dish or flaming those pears with brandy.

 

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Siths Bearing Gifts

Note:  I am making this post a work-in-progress.  Hacker-Boy is making Portal 2 levels on Cruel Wife’s computer and needs guidance and maintenance.  Rather than not post at all, I’ll post this and tweak it as I am able.

Aggie Sith sent us a curio case that is chock full of the things our family likes – old-timey victorian stuff with definite steampunk flair.   It required an awful lot of thought and attention to detail on just our parts.  I do not know how SHE did it.  It is awesome.

A glass curio case stuffed with detail and cool things.

The thoughts that hit me when opening up this gift were:

  1. Wow, this is cool
  2. Geez, this is intricate
  3. Holy cow, this takes some serious mad art-skillz
  4. Crap, every thing in here is symbolizing something
  5. How the hell did she know about that?  (After noting some of the symbology)
  6. Sith is a bubbling cauldron of crazy that should never be stirred
  7. Wow, this is cool

Love the old adverts and pill bottles. A House reference with pearl shaped vicodin perhaps?  I’m told that is not the case but that it is a fun idea nontheless.

There is the underlying themes of “Home” and “psycho” running through here. Prime numbers, loose hardware, compasses not pointing north… and in the pic after that… poison.  And BIRDS.  BIRDS I TELL YOU, JUST NESTING WHEREVER THE HELL THEY LIKE!!

Note the waterworks and poison.  Are the two related?  Should I be worrying about plotting betwixt Sith and Cruel Wife?

Cruel Wife wants to go and learn at Sith’s feet.  Sith respects Cruel Wife’s quilt-fu.  Short dangerous opinionated women should not be allowed contact with one another.  All I can say to Sith’s hubby is “Run.”

Fiat lux and other symbologicalness.

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Alert reader The Dude sent me this link.  Sick sick puppy.  And I laughed my ass off.

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I can always tell when I’ve been a bit more House-like than usual, because I’ll come back to my office and find that a passive-aggressive co-worker such as Crazy Cat Lady (aka CCL) has put this on my keyboard where I’m sure to not miss it.  I’m 99% certain she did it because of her look of innocence rather than confusion when I said “That was you that put that on my desk, right?  Well done.  Well done.”

I’ve known CCL for something like… oh… 12-13 years now, probably, so I’m not too worried that she’ll pour cat urine all over my office chair.  Yet.

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Yes, I’m still obsessing about inertia.  Wouldn’t warpage of space be a nice tidy way to look at it?

This sort of thing is pretty far out there and approaching Tin Foil Hat Technology, but I want to believe that warp travel is possible because otherwise getting to other stars is pretty prohibitively expensive.  Fuel, mass, cost, lifespans, etc.

Here’s how I look at it:  Humanity is due for something new.  We’ve been stuck on E-M for some time now what with Maxwell and Faraday (and many others) doing their mad magic with magnetism and electricity.  Nothing really new has been done in terms of manipulating stuff.  Sure, recently they’ve realized a fourth fundamental circuit elemnent, the memristor… but there’s not been any real new physics.

Jeez, I can see the debates over that last sentence… work with me here, people.  I’m talking about new fundamental models and applications that alter fields or space.  Give me some sci-fi, ok?  Stasis fields, gravity manipulation, inertial dampers/exciters, etc.  Yes, that is all BS, but I’d like some BS that didn’t involve a politician or some zealot or some lunatic.

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The fringe folks sure want to believe that Jesus was tempted, married, or farted in church, don’t they?  Jesus was married, and we know that because someone wrote it on a papyrus, so it must be true, right?

Karen King, a professor of early Christianity at Harvard Divinity School, announced the finding Tuesday at an international congress on Coptic studies in Rome. The text, written in Coptic and probably translated from a 2nd century Greek text, contains a dialogue in which Jesus refers to “my wife,”whom he identifies as Mary.

In just about any other accounting, there are independent sources that parallel other accounts, and I challenge someone to show records elsewhere that list Jesus as being married.

She stressed that the text, assuming it’s authentic, doesn’t provide any historical evidence that Jesus was actually married, only that some two centuries after he died, some early Christians believed he had a wife.   [ emphasis mine – lk ]

“Some early Christians” could mean anything.  “Some” meaning the writer.

Christian tradition has long held that Jesus was unmarried, although there is no reliable historical evidence to support that, King said. Any evidence pointing to whether Jesus was married or had a female disciple could have ripple effects in current debates over the role of women in the church.

And THAT folks, out of the entire article presents the sole reason for all Prof. King’s efforts.

“There are all sorts of really dodgy things about this,” said David Gill, professor of archaeological heritage at University Campus Suffolk and author of the Looting Matters blog, which closely follows the illicit trade in antiquities. “This looks to me as if any sensible, responsible academic would keep their distance from it.”

Fox News is getting almost as good as FARK for providing funny articles.
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Guaranteed to peeve Cruel Wife off, is this news article about a restaurant in Corpus Christi threatened with fines for hosing pigeon poop off the sidewalk because it is polluting.  I hope to hell that Crawdaddy’s fights this one in court.
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I got to see one of these fire devils in person while on a fire but it was nowhere near as beautiful as this one.
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More Iranian women need to kick the shit out of more clerics when they mouth off about being indecently clothed.  Too bad she’ll probably have an example made out of her for her troubles.
Hojatoleslam Ali Beheshti said he encountered the woman in the street while on his way to the mosque in the town of Shahmirzad, and asked her to cover herself up, to which she replied “you, cover your eyes,” according to Mehr. The cleric repeated his warning, which he said prompted her to insult and push him.
“I fell on my back on the floor,” Beheshti said in the report. “I don’t know what happened after that, all I could feel was the kicks of this woman who was insulting me and attacking me.”
Go girl.
Beheshti said he was hospitalized for three days. The Iranian cleric said it was his religious duty to apply the principle of “commanding right and forbidding wrong,” and that he would continue to do so even after living through what he called “the worst day of my life.”
I’m thinking you get a lot of whispers behind you in clerical circles after you get beaten up by a woman.  Good.

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Disgusting.

This is our flag.

If you want to make a statement about patriotism, do so.  Don’t rip off the idea in a cheap “dumb it down for the masses” hipster way.

Points to note:

  • America’s flag has 13 stripes (colonies)
  • Obama’s flag has five, probably signifying The Fifth Column
  • America’s flag has stars (states)
  • Obama’s flag has one central piece, a fake hope diamond (thank you, Dr. Savage)
  • America’s flag is vibrant with confident bold colors
  • Obama’s flag is washed out and painted with childlike strokes.

This is Obama’s flag.

Official Link

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Sickday.

My son is a plague vector, Patient Zero.  We were vectors one and two.  Therefore, I am not blogging today other than this:
The key point to remember is this one screenshot from the Big World below.  (h/t to alert co-worker Inscrutable Half-Breed)

 

And at the XKCD link below – you have to WORK for these goodies –

Here is the day’s XKCD… If it doesn’t “work” then go to XKCD directly:  http://xkcd.com/1110/

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