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Archive for May, 2013

It is I… SARCASM MAN.   I’ll do a Captain Sarcasm one in a few days and y’all can vote on it.

SARCASM MAN****

I did hint that the coolness had nothing to do with anything I was working on.

I’m big into flexures in mechanisms, because they exploit materials.  This one uses composites to make shocks built into the wheel of the bicycle.  The even cooler part is the tri-fold symmetry works to resist the lateral “roll” of the composite loop.  Much like a leaf spring, the other two arms of the spring act to laterally stabilize any one spring.  Very cool.

wheel

****

Tonight Lemurita said “I have some friends at school have been telling me about Assassin’s Creed III.”

Me:  Yes, that is a game that is currently out.

Lemurita:  They’ve been telling me…

Me:  I know where you are going with this.  Answer is still “No” just like 5 months ago when you asked if you could play it and Mom and I voted it down.

Lemurita:  You don’t let me see anything scary or play games like that.

Me:  Yeah, but you also get to see some things that I think you can handle, like The Matrix, so there is that.

Lemurita:  It’s a game.

Me:  I know.  I am an awful Dad, probably one of the worst, and you should give me a “D” on my Daddy Report Card.

Lemurita:  Well other than those things you are a great Dad, but I think I will mark it on your card.

Me:  Good, I think you should do that then, see if it changes things for you.  Now go on and get your pj’s on and get ready for bed.

… … …

I don’t know for sure but I think that went reasonably well.  I think for Father’s Day I’m probably going to get some dog poo preserved in acrylic, though.  I’m finding with this girl that the whole Oak vs. Willow tree analogy is a load of crap, and I just have to be a slow but very large river, say the Columbia, and let her windsurf at will until she gets cold and soggy and heads in to shore for some corndogs and greasy jo-jos at the local corner gas station.  Crappy metaphor but it sort of works.

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Stay tuned…

My biz has an expession… “Dog and Pony Show”. It is where we stand up in front of people we want to make things for, and they shoot holes in our stuff, we roll with it and make it work out anyway, and if we’ve convinced them we aren’t freakish geeks with zero talent, then maybe, just maybe, they will let us build things for them.

One could be excused for saying “Oh, you’re techno-whores!” We’re not actually. Mostly. We do hard things that other people won’t do. And it is fun.

Today I was given a new name that I think I will run with… “Captain Sarcasm”!

(I will wear that title with pride)

So for the next two days I may be hip deep in dog and pony poo, but when we come up to breathe, I will have some fun things to point out in the engineering world – nothing to do with anything I am working on. Other way cool stuff.

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Giddy…

I was sitting in my office yesterday when The Butcher of Lansing darkened my doorway.  He knows I love cars a lot and says “You have to go out back and see the car.”

Being hard of hearing I thought he was telling me that I needed to go out back so he could tell me some bad news about a project we’re on.

I said “Is this going to make me cry or make me mad?”

“NO, GO SEE THE CAR!”

Remembering the Fisker from last fall, I suddenly understood and ran to the back of the building and only stopped long enough to grab the camera.

See if you can guess what this is:

car

I set the camera down after taking this picture and I ran up to the guys who were climbing over the car.

I said to the guy who looked the most professionally-dressed “I will let you have my credit card for fifteen minutes if you start that car up so I can hear it.”

He smiled and talked with one of the other guys who got in the car and turned it on and revved it up to 7-8000 RPM.

I could describe the awesomely loud sound like this:

Replace every tooth on the chain of an enormous stainless-steel chainsaw with a scalpel blade and rev it up as tight as it will go.  It’s like a surgical chainsaw gnawing on diamonds.

It was harsher/brighter than I personally like – it sounded nothing like a classic American muscle car – but it sounded dangerous and I’d still take it in a heartbeat.  It had the same quality of danger you could imagine of you walked up to a leopard and give its scrotum a good hard squeeze-and-twist.

It was hard to conceive of how the tires could possibly grip the road if you tromped on the gas.

Care to guess what this car is?

I called Cruel Wife to tell her what I’d seen, because she loves cars, too.

Me:  You’ll never guess what I saw out back…

CW:  What?

Me:  A ______ _______ _______!!!

CW:  Lucky dog.  I’m picking up the floor to vacuum.

Me:  Did you hear me?  I saw a _______ ________ ________!!!  The guy started it up!  It was AWESOME!

CW:  Ok.

Me:  Ok.  Well, I guess that’s all I had.  Goodbye, I guess.

CW:  Bye.

Later she e:mails me.  Simply put, it said “When are you coming home?  How do tostados sound”

My reply:

(sigh…)

What do you care???  You were totally unexcited about

ME SEEING AN ______ _______ _______!!!

But instead, you’re grumpy that you have to vacuum

AND I GOT TO SEE AN ______ _______ _______ AND LISTEN TO IT ROAR AT 7500 RPM!!!

Tostados sound awesome.

I plan on

AN ______ _______ _______ WITH QUAD OVERHEAD CAMS, 530BHP, 0-60 IN 4.2 SECONDS, AND 420LBF TORQUE!

            leaving around 5:15pm.

We men die first because we want to, I tell you.  I left at 6pm in any event because I couldn’t get out any quicker than that.

What car is it?  If the pic didn’t give it away, and the specs didn’t give it away, this ought to help… the RPM dial goes counterclockwise.

Ok, yes, so sue me.  My life is sad and small enough that I get excited by cars.

I even got to touch the car.  I may never wash that hand again.

****

The CDC is, much like the press, the EPA, the IRS, and any organization with a high profile, far too impressed with itself.

One in five children has a mental illness.  Oh, as high as that, hmm?

“This is a deliberate effort by CDC to show mental health is a health issue. As with any health concern, the more attention we give to it, the better. It’s parents becoming aware of the facts and talking to a health-care provider about how their child is learning, behaving and playing with other kids,” said Dr. Ruth Perou, the study’s lead author.

Oh, it’s a deliberate effort, all right.

I suspect that this is the same kind of “feelings trump reality” judgment call that leads to “everyone is special” and “we’re all winners”.

Kids are just plain not rational.  They don’t do logical things.  Until you see a clear and consistent pattern and dig deeper into the behavior, you can’t really go around making claims like this.

If your kid needs to have his stuffed animals arranged in a ring, imitates environmental noises nonstop, cannot meet your gaze, trips over his own shadow, and can only communicate with great difficulty, yeah, maybe he’s autistic.  Get that checked out.  (yes, we have one of those cases at LemurHouse)

If your kid cannot pay attention, disrupts class, and has antisocial tendencies – he/she might be a kid in serious need of discipline.  Kid might just have a lot of energy.  If you see a months/years long pattern of behavior that isn’t correctable by discipline and it causes a breakdown at every point in life, then yeah, you probably have a problem on your hands.

But one in five kids mentally ill?  Nah, they’re kids.

****

You know, the whole IRS thing has that “bag of cats, smell of crazy all over it” kind of feeling.

On Saturday, Celia Roady — the lawyer who asked the question of IRS official Lois Lerner at the May 10 American Bar Association conference — issues the following statement to Fox:

“On May 9, I received a call from Lois Lerner, who told me that she wanted to address an issue after her prepared remarks … and asked if I would pose a question to her after her remarks. I agreed to do so.…We had no discussion thereafter on the topic of the question, nor had we spoken about any of this before I received her call. She did not tell me, and I did not know, how she would answer the question.”

It looks particularly bad because it is either the mindset of someone who pretends to be an adult but can’t actually behave like one, or an adult with scheming and cynicism so ingrained as to be criminally pathological.
Sadder still, it’s only the symptom of the disease.  The disease is much much worse.

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Lou Reed’s “New York” came out in the 89-ish time period.

“Sick of You” fits today’s news and political situation even better than it did when it came out.

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Note:  Far too many hours working and minimal sleep with lots of caffeine.  I’m on a psycho-rocket ride into next week.  It’ll be fun.

********

I read the news today:

Sun unleashes massive solar flares...

What’s all the fuss about, because Obama did not do anything wrong.  Go talk to Bush Jr. about anything underhanded.

Immediately what came to mind was:

… White House Fingers Bush…

Yup.

Funny thing is, O’s mouthpiece Carney did not come out and mention that the IRS thing happened even longer ago than Benghazi and should be dismissed as so much piffle.  He seems to have lost that particular trick.

Axlerod says the government is too big for Obama to handle.  Such a piquant bouquet to his bullshit.  Oh, Obama didn’t know about this, Obama had nothing to do with that, Obama wasn’t part of such-and-such planning… Is anyone else wondering just what it is he does do in the White House besides have lavish parties with Beyonce, Jamie Foxx, and the long list of star-studded sycophants?  I can’t tell what he does when he’s not doing all these things, not golfing, and not vacationing.

Keep an eye out as Obama becomes even more politically radioactive.  Next to fall will be when anyone that can find an escape hatch on the USS Immigration bails out except for the Gang of Eight who are so tightly holding each other’s privates as hostage they will never listen to those who they really must answer.

Sequester … not sure if there is another dynamic there other than the dems trying to buy back some credibility at the new higher rates.

If his lame duck doesn’t have AFLAC and gets lots of bedsores next fall is going to be interesting.  Maybe Bummercare™ can be scraped away or frozen off for the warty thing it is.

Remember how Obama came out in the beginning and said his will be the most transparent administration ever?

Here’s what came to mind then:  This is a lot like the guy in the conference hall at the hotel that stands up during the luncheon and announces “Just so you all know, I’m heterosexual.” and then sits down.

I was left thinking, “… Really?  What was the reason you felt you needed to share that?”

The Blaze added that government agencies other than the IRS treat conservatives crappy, too.  Imagine a bunch of Greenies going after land-rapers.  But it actually is more aimed at using the FOIA as a carrot and withholding FOIA as a stick.

So now you have a general mistreatment of a class by:  Taxing them more, taking away their guns, harassing them with the IRS, bringing in more people to live off of them, making them pay much more for what they were actually happy with already in terms of health care, now you are going to push them around using eco-terrorism, you’re going to read all their mail, listen to their calls, you’re going load up on billions of rounds of ammo, buy armored anti-mine capable troop carriers, lots of full body gear, and full-auto weapons.  Then add the electronic warfare and tracking from drones.  Then for good measure you insult their intelligence while displaying your lack of diligence with our ambassador and call it long ago.

Huh.  That has “Scary” writ all over it in big glowing letters.

****

Cruel Wife informed me that she saw Obama still has a fan club.  Woo-woo.

I’m going to guess that if you check IP addresses and trace them back far enough the physical address in meatspace is 1600 Penn. Ave.  and that there are three members.

IRS… you know where to find me.  Just ask the NSA.  Or look it up on a drone.

What surprises me is that there are still people able to act like they are shocked, as if this is a sudden revelation of a hitherto undiagnosed set of character flaws.  So anyway, I figure there is a certain percentage of people that still love him but it got a lot smaller with the toppling of the media donkey-fluffer elite.

Lemurita, if you are reading this, a donkey-fluffer goes around making donkeys look poofy.  No, don’t repeat that in school.

Yes, I’m in a mood.  Sue me.  Get in line after the IRS takes their cut.

****

My daughter asked me at the dinner table what the middle finger means, while “aiming” it in my direction.  Yes, I know 9-10 is not an unreasonable age for those questions to come up but I still didn’t quite see it coming until too late.  I feel like Mr. Magoo, with the whole world happening around me and I only dimly perceive what my children are doing until too late.

But we rolled with it.

*****

Cruel Wife found an old card she got for her dad.  Frankly, that card can make me laugh every single day.

AthoughtAthought2

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Mashed post.

Note:  Make sure you read yesterday’s post, too.  It’s chock full of fun.

Scroll on down to where it says “amiable old man showing a Star Trek tractor beam in action”.  Now, “tractor beam” is total BS and has nothing to do with localized magnetic domains on a macro-scale.  Just enjoy the video.  Super damn cool.

If you are the Yorl-ing type, you might be tempted to wander over and grab one at the amiable old man’s website.  You could make this yourself without too much effort through K&J Magnetics (I’m aimin’ to).  By the time I paid shipping and exchange and Euro prices I could do it cheaper through K&J by 40-50%.  Don’t feel so bad about telling you that because he has a buttload of other things I really want and couldn’t hope to make…

****

Piano Guys again. I like ’em.

****

You are probably aware that my name is Lemur King and I am a Redbullaholic…  I fell off the wagon this morning after five days of being clean.

But if I embrace that side of me…

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

Thanks to alert reader Black Lab on Amphetamines.  Sayeth he on the source:

(Around a while; found it on web page that's been up since 1996: 
https://www.cs.cmu.edu/afs/cs.cmu.edu/user/clamen/www/caffeine/Caffeine.html)

The BLA is a fountain of trivia.  He scares me with some of his tidbits but by walking into his office sniffing markers I can weird him out so we have a stalemate.

****

And from Orygun… Smoke… jumpers… duuuuuude.

A team of smokejumpers parachuting into a fire in the mountains of Southern Oregon landed in an illegal marijuana garden being prepared for growing season.

[snip]  the smokejumpers notified authorities, who hiked into the remote site in the Rogue River-Siskiyou (SIS’-kee-yoo) National Forest… [snip]

The smokejumpers extinguished the fire after it burned less than an acre.

You could get some serious smoke-related exposure after close to an acre of smoke.  I suppose they had to stop at some point to arrange for “supplies” from Dominos or something.

Now that section is prime growing area (from what I hear) and can be nicely cut off from the rest of the world.  Perfect for an enterprising farmer.

****

Now, look at the Mars Rover tracks below and tell me what you see.

mars_rover_oo_errStare at it hard before you go read about it.  WHAT DO YOU SEE?  Record your observation and then go linky.

Sorry, some guy must’ve spent some time mapping the projection and path for this shot.  Or it’s a photoshop.  But there are geeks who have been known to put their initials on parts bound for oh, say, Mercury, so it’s not impossible to fart around with things.

****

You want one of these… yes you do.

Raised-By-Wolves-Onesie-1245http://www.dudeiwantthat.com/style/kids/raised-by-wolves-onesie.asp

****

Dear Dr. Lemur –

I am troubled by this attack by native American Indians on sports teams that they deem are offensive or racist.  Is there anything that can be done about this bullying?

– Agness, Redskins Fan A-Number-1

“We will never change the name of the team,” Snyder said. “As a lifelong Redskins fan, and I think that the Redskins fans understand the great tradition and what it’s all about and what it means, so we feel pretty fortunate to be just working on next season.”

But what if his team loses the trademark case? Would he not consider changing the name even then?

“We’ll never change it,” Snyder said. “It’s that simple. NEVER — you can use caps.”

And what of the question Blackhorse wanted to ask if she ever met him? Would Snyder dare call her a redskin to her face?

“I think the best way is to just not comment on that type of stuff,” Snyder said. “I don’t know her.”

Blackhorse says she is not surprised at Snyder’s answer.

“If it was appropriate to call me that, he’d comment,” she says. “It must make him uncomfortable to talk about it, and it should make him uncomfortable.

“He’s right. He doesn’t know me, or my people. And if he did, he would not use that name.”

Dear Agness,

This sort of drivel is perpetuated because we allow it to be.  If everyone would resort to one sentence and one sentence only in any communication with these people then the issue would dry up soon enough like a festering sore packed in pickling salts.  Just say “Go blow a goat” and only that to anything they say to you.  NO MATTER WHAT.   If one of them is on fire and needs water you say “Go blow a goat”.  One of them wants to discuss something with you, “Go blow a goat”.  Eventually they’ll get tired of it and realize that their behavior drives how they are treated.  If a kid whines and every time he whines he gets a two-finger rap on the head, after a while whining just doesn’t get the desired response.  As soon as they take their ridiculous case out of court life can return to normal.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to run out and buy a pair of Redskins tickets.

– Dr. Lemur

http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/nfl/redskins/2013/05/09/native-americans-washington-mascot-fight/2148877/

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More migraines.  More work.  Less sleep.  It all ties in nicely.

Whining over.

I will get major Sith points for this….  heh heh heh…

I just happen to like these guy’s schtuff.

If you walked up to me tomorrow and said “If you give up your legs you can play like that” I’d run and get the axe.

*****

Tell me guys that you wouldn’t opt for the Wolverine Adamantium Claws, too.  A bit gory, might not be good for certain workplaces.

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