You wouldn’t make this up.

This isn’t new news, but it is news-worthy…

Woman Who Hid Gun In Vagina Gets 25 Years

No joke, I would treat any woman who would think of doing this as if she was armed and dangerous even if she wasn’t packing.

And she was packing, in several senses of the word.

Mackerel Eyes of Death

Harris, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was arrested in March after a drug dog alerted to a vehicle in which she and another woman were seated (the car was parked outside a closed restaurant at 3:45 AM). A subsequent search of the Toyota Yaris turned up meth, drug paraphernalia, a .25 caliber semi-automatic pistol, and a loaded magazine.

While being transported to jail, Harris told a cop “several times that she needed to go to the bathroom,” according to an Ada Police Department report.

During processing at the jail, Harris balked when directed to lower her underwear so that a female officer could check for contraband. She “advised that she was on her period and did not want to,” cops noted.

[See, that would have worked on a guy cop.  Chick cops are much braver.  -LK]

After Harris complied with police, Officer Kathy Unbewust reported, “I observed at that time a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina area.” Unbewust then “pulled the item from her vagina, and found it to be a 5 shot revolver with rounds in the chamber.”

[God, cops have the worst damn job in the universe.  -LK]

The handgun, which was disassembled by cops, is seen in the above left evidence photo.

[They had to TOUCH it to disassemble it.  -LK]

Investigators subsequently identified the weapon as a Freedom Arms .22-caliber handgun, which was loaded with three live rounds and one spent shell. The police report notes that “gun located in suspect vagina.”

[They found a .22 caliber bullet lodged in her steel-clad cervix.  -LK]

“Gun located in suspect vagina”… what?  They were just patrolling one day and saw a vagina that looked suspect?

Comments at the bottom of the article got funny – the top-notch commenters:

James E. Hobbs · University of Nebraska at Omaha

How do they know it belongs to her, it may have been left there by someone else.

Dennis Vest · Top Commenter

Wonder if she said “I’ll give you my gun when you can pry it from my cold dead vagina”?

Calvin Nystrom

Now that truly is “one in the chamber”

Jack Levitt · Top Commenter · Davie, Florida

Happiness, is a warm gun.

Bill Brumfield · ScubaDiver at Roto RooterI’m not a lawyer, but I imagine there’s some language in the local code that says you can’t store loaded firearms in a location that’s readily accessible to the general public. I think that’s where she made her mistake.

Brumfield wins.

But you know, South Park did this years ago with Oprah Winfrey – Minge.

 

****

I was out tarping up a data collection trailer today with a few co-workers – we had biggish thunderstorms on the way and an open hatch that wasn’t sealed yet.  Leaks are bad.  Laboring in 3000% humidity and 80-something degree still air and direct sun was Inscrutable Half-Breed, Laconic Pup, me, and the new guy who I’ll call… … The Last Boy Scout.

I was tying the tarp with a rope to a strut under the trailer and grunted in pain from a torn rotator cuff.  Someone asked “Your neck giving me trouble, LK?”

I said “No, no trouble at all – it’s the shoulder – I actually highly recommend cervical fusion.”

The Last Boy Scout pauses (it was deafeningly audible for a silent pause) and I had a moment to think of something fast.  He obviously wasn’t thinking “cervical vertebrae”.

“Yes, LBS, I had my cervix surgically stapled to my pelvis.”

Another long deafening pause while some other guys snickered.

“There’s things you just don’t know about me, LBS…”

****

Update:  Co-worker Laconic Pup is soon to be renamed “Ambiguous Man”.

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Enter the Lemur.

Fists of fury and tails o’ death.

Have a ridiculously touching pic of a lemur or two.

(h/t to Black Lab on Methamphetamines)

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Hypothetically speaking, let us say that your father-in-law offered to take your pole barn garage and turn it into a fully wired, insulated concrete floor, walled and ceilinged, new windowed, and new doored state.  Hypothetically speaking, if you told him bluntly “I’m not worth it.” and he said “Yes, you are.”…

… What would you say?

I’m thinking, hypothetically, of course, that if it were me, I’d probably get mind-locked on “Do you realize how insane this sounds?”

Even if he were to say “Because then my daughter would be happier with you around less”, I’d still think it sounded insane.  Hypothetically speaking.

****

The Treyvon/Zimmerman trial goes on.

I am still saddened that at end, what will have happened is that in the very least a kid died and a guy has lost most of the rest of his life, and if it goes south like I think it will, several things will happen:

1) Race relations just got much worse

2) Good people on both sides are going to die

3) The only winners will be the gun grabbers and the reporters

4) Lots of bad people are going to get badder

It is going to get epically ugly.

Lots of losers because of two losers.

****

Most transparently manipulative administration ever, is more like it.

And he’ll get away with it, too.  Man, is this a Charlie Fox of a time to live in.

Republican former Congressional Budget Office director Douglas Holtz-Eakin called the move “deviously brilliant,” by removing a potential electoral impediment from in front of congressional Democrats before the midterms.

“Democrats no longer face the immediate specter of running against the fallout from a heavy regulatory imposition on employers across the land,” Holtz-Eakin wrote. “Explaining away the mandate was going to be a big political lift; having the White House airbrush it from the landscape is way better.”

The administration will publish formal guidance on the rule change within the next week.

Read more: http://swampland.time.com/2013/07/02/obama-administration-delays-healthcare-law-employer-penalty-until-2015

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