This will be a post in parts.
Lemurita and I are in Oregon visiting my dad. It is an awesome trip and I am loving hanging out with her. It is really nice to spend time with her without sibling rivalry. It is the first time I have ever done so and it is the first time Cruel Wife and HackerBoy have done the same.
Anyhow, she stayed with her aunt and uncle last night and I drove out to their house today. She had fun with her cousins SaladGirl and GameBoy.
My brother-in-law said today “You like Halloween, right?”
You know how I love Halloween.
He then said “Want to see the costume I am working on?”
So he showed me his “Babyface” costume.
This is NSFC (not safe for children)…
Is that not creepy? I loved it.
He wants to start a “Rude Roadhouse Bar and Grill – Where you will eat your damn vegetables” and he wants me to cook there. We have established that the waitresses must chew on cigar stubs and have naughty tattoos. Feel free to chime in with your suggestions.
Next is a goat at my sister’s house/farm/menagerie. I was introduced to her and gave her some goat-scritches. Then I gave her a goat-massage of her goat-shoulders (no, get your heads out of the gutters, people). Then we moved on to see other farm critters. I said to my sister, The Mad Felter, “One thing I know is goats.”
“How do you know goats?”
“Neighbors three houses down from dad’s place had them. I sure love getting out in the country again. If the zombie apocalypse happens I will get the family, we’ll fight our way across the country and come live with you, ok? We work hard and will bring our own zombie-killin’ tools.”
“Cool!”
Just then I got knocked to the side gently by the goat, who demanded more shoulder massages.
Lemur King's Folly 
That’ll teach ya. Don’t be nice to goats. They get all needy.
Yeah, maybe, but I like Pretzel. She’s a nice goat. I am going out to hang out with the critters tomorrow.
forget the mask, where can I get the SHIRT!!!
I asked, and BiL said he will not give up his secrets.
After careful study of aforementioned shirt, I think the best way to acquire one is to lose a bet.
BABYFACE??? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Another suggestion is to hire waitstaff with missing teeth. And really bad hair jobs. And the women must have moustaches.
I am also going to suggest neck tattoos and knuckle tats.
Guess I’m never gonna be a part of the waitstaff. I’ll stay in the back and make desserts. Nom nom nom…
Not real ones…