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Archive for January, 2014

Buyer’s Remorse.

My opinion can be summed up like this…

If you have any complaints about Obamacare you must declare who you voted for in the last two elections. If you say “Obama” at any time, you must then apologize, saying “I was wrong.”

And then sit down.

Why? Because I am beyond tired of people who sit there with wounded puppy expressions of betrayal as they realize that warnings from people who knew Obamacare was bad medicine were absolutely on the mark.

I am not saying the people linked above voted Obama but several of them have the expression of surprise, like they just could not see this coming.

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Yes, you’re a broken toy if this fails to make you smile.

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How do you know when it is not your time? When you survive an industrial woodchipper.

Arce’s injuries are severe, and he is expected to remain in the hospital for at least the next few weeks. Arce sustained a broken pelvis, seven broken ribs, a shattered ankle, bruised liver, broken leg, a collapsed lung and a deep cut that runs the entire length of the back of his body. The cut was so deep it crushed his knee, and he remains on a heavy dose of pain medication at the hospital.

He remained conscious throughout the ten-second shredding.

The guy said the worst part wasn’t the injury, it was not knowing what would happen. Been there and I buy that.

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Golly, this explains a lot. Science has proven short people are paranoid.

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No, I don’t see how this could have a downside. Automatic-release bras. It is all good, right?

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Well, if we are not going to declare race when describing suspects for crimes, then sex cannot be used, nor car type, nor weapons used.

Because us white male T-bird owners who lawfully own shotguns get tired of hearing about white male bank robbers driving T-birds who wield shotguns – it makes us feel unsafe and untrusted.

And men are always being singled out in rape reports and wife beatings, how is that for unfair? Men everywhere… The repeated male, male, male suspect… It really discomforts men because they feel like suspicions begin to increase.

How loud and sustained was the black outcry over the term “white Hispanic”? I forget.

And actually they do increase, those suspicions. I have had women refuse to say hello or look up on the street, mothers shield their kids, and nervous glances because I was male. And it is understandable – I don’t even trust men with my wife or daughter’s safety unless I really know them… 99.99% of rapists are male (please do not cite me the stats on male victims of female rapists, I am not even remotely interested).

Tell you what… How’s about we start seeing more guys stepping up and beating the everlovin’ piss out of the guys who are committing the crimes rather than piss and moan about something that isn’t going to change because it should not have to? Declare the race and gender of every suspect and be done with it. In case everyone forgot, the goal is to catch the bastards or beaches who did the crime, not dither over hurt feelings.

Seriously, is this such a problem? I have zero problems with turning a beaten-bloody rapist over to the police and saying “He must’ve slipped on a bar of soap” and descriptions of a white male holding up the gas station around the corner don’t affect me in the least. It just is what it is.

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Crazy Cat Lady sent me this.

She had the gall to make jokes, like “Guess it was bring-your-own (bbq) sauce event”.

When a semi truck overturns and becomes an inferno, burning alive 76,000 lbs of beef ribs, I call that a tragedy. It is just plain cold to make jokes about the fiery death of ribs.

Note in comments below… hilljohnny says he has reason to believe the load of ribs quoted might be a load of BS. I hope so, since this is a tragedy otherwise.

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Tonight is Obama’s State of the Union address.

I could watch it but I was thinking I would get out the random orbital sander and grind my eyes out, instead. It was a serious toss-up.

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Another tragedy today was the loss of one of the Sith’s most beloved… Her crock pot.

Be kind to her – the weather has dropped below freezing in Deepest Darkest Texas, and that makes the loss of a crock a terrible thing. I mock her on some things but rarely if ever about food. Food is serious stuff.

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Call me ignorant, but handing out free crack pipes to combat AIDS sounds a lot like running a lawn mower in the bed of your pickup to improve your truck’s fuel economy.

“It may seem counter-intuitive, but it’s a great program. Once you can get people into your program, make them feel respected, taken care of them, they’re more likely to want to come back and want to get on HIV meds,” Thomas said.

Yeah, nothing would make me feel more respected than being manipulated by my addiction.
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New evidence says that spanking kids may turn them intolawbreakers.

Older evidence says that not spanking kids results in an asshole.

I will take my chances.

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Nothing says avant garde quite like throwing a few vaginas into your artwork.

Ten dollars says Cruel Wife knows exactly the phrase going through my head (in disgust) and the expression on my face. It is the one I like to call “Withering Scorn”.

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Vainglorious.

Short post as it is a migraine day.

I looked over and saw the cat, Mel, about six inches from the fridge looking at her reflection. Black cat, black fridge.

I imagine she was sitting there thinking “Damn, do I look good in black, or what?”

It is -5F and dropping fast outside. Going to work in the morning looks to be brutal at -15F. I think my biggest complaint this winter is the idiots on the road. A driver nearly made a statistic of himself under a gas truck right in front of me last week. It was his fault but I doubt he learned a thing.

Found this on pitsnipesgripes. Warning, it is NSFW, that site. It is a great site but visit on your own time for the funny stuff. It is tucked between lots of “art” (aka “smut”, but who am I to judge?).

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Now… THIS one, I also found at PSG, and I will only comment to say a few things:

1) Warning… It is pretty “out there”
2) I can never see muppets the same way again
3) It is really really NSFW
4) My sister is scarred for life after viewing it, and I did not think it possible to shock her
5) I warned you

This is the tame sampler.

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If that doesn’t deter you, then… Click on the period.

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My boss, the one who ate the Jolokia (aka Hot Pants) sent a few of us at work this video and asked us if we could somehow incorporate it into our instruments.

I am all for the effort.

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Oh thank God, they invented glow in the dark kittens. I was worried.

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( Thanks, Cracked.com … http://www.cracked.com/article_20829_5-amazing-magical-powers-created-by-simple-science_p2.html )

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h/t to Cruel Wife for finding a Steampunk Melody.

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Note: I would never arm my kitten in real life.

Note #2: I have no recollection of where she found this.

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h/t to Inscrutable Half-Breed for his find on carving a solid block of wood into a box of money.

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Read all about this insanity here.

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h/t to The Dude for one of the coldest blackest comics I have seen this week.

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Hijinks on Mars

The rover I posted about last night has found an anomaly. It found a stone where none should have been.

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I think someone is playing tricks on it. The equivalent of the fake lotto ticket joke. But maybe, just maybe it is more sordid and it is some Martian who just wants one thing… To engage in sweet, sweet mathematics with it.

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Well, nevermind. Take a look at what explosions of flavor look like.

Seems like a lot of money wasted in ruining perfectly beautiful spices.

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Q: Why did the 9mph chicken cross the road?

A: To get hit by the 130mph Porsche.

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Heard this one years ago and I think there is truth here.

“Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years.”

Richard Bach

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Everybody loves a pug. Or should.

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Nothing like being a media whore in the science spotlight. I can see it, but selfies is borderline presidential.

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Only in America (Oregon, specifically) can it take a court to grant us RIGHTS WE ALREADY HAD.

GRANTS PASS, Ore. (AP) — A federal appeals court ruled Friday that bloggers and the public have the same First Amendment protections as journalists when sued for defamation: If the issue is of public concern, plaintiffs have to prove negligence to win damages.

Yeah, it is a federal appeals court, but face it, Oregon is still a massive train wreck.

They studied Obama well, though… Let the website people be the whipping boy.

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Hey, have a cute pic of rats with teddy bears. Courtesy of Angry French Woman.

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Snowden has less life expectancy than a bunch of bananas.

When spy guys are openly saying they want to stick a toxic shiv into you so you die later at home while they gloat, you are in trouble.

I am torn because while he ultimately did everyone a favor I don’t approve of traitors.

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Hahahahahahahahahah. Hah. The quotes from this guy belong on a demon’s resume.

While the president recognized the surveillance program has grown in recent years, he also strongly defended those who work in the intelligence community, saying they do not abuse power. “After all,” he said, “the folks at NSA and other intelligence agencies are our neighbors and our friends.”

“Those who defend these programs are not dismissive of civil liberties,” Obama said.

http://www.nationaljournal.com/white-house/obama-nsa-reforms-should-give-americans-greater-confidence-20140117

Oh yeah, NSA: We luvs you guys. Keep up the good work, neighbors.

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What is that? You want to re-watch the latest narcissistic media whore crying because she feels burned by Obama?

Somehow “I told you so” just don’t cover it.

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This Face Slimmer thing I saw on World’s Dumbest Inventions… Probably the best chance you will ever have to look like a blow up doll.

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No, I did not see it, either.

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Et tu, broccoli?
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Passed on by The Dude… Note the FaceTome watermark – I have seen enough funny stuff originate from there, you might wander by and check it out.

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That is all for now. Everybody panic.

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Rest easy, Sam.

Well, hell. I liked this kid’s attitude towards life. Rest in peace, Sam.

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State the Obvious.

Ok, I feel a teeny bit guilty for posting Cruel Wife’s tipoff on the Fukushima Squid, but really I thought the title of the website would be a big clue: Lightly Braised Turnip.

That is way up there for a name of anything. It is almost as good as “Goat Cheese Pizza” for a band name. Or lyrics like “camel holocaust”.

I even provided a second major hint, the article that said that Republicans would stop courting Latinos (which will never happen because they are a bunch of simps). ALSO from the LBT.

But mostly I feel bad that MyFoxLA had to tell people that “More and More Online Stories are a Hoax”. Really?
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This sort of thing leaves geeks mentally… Erect. Cruel Wife calls it mental masturbation.

Me, I think mental gymnastics about a Cubical Planet are fascinating.

Imagine a planet of cuboid shape, rotating about a plane through two vertices, and what a space-shot trajectory would look like. Never mind stability and reality of such a body, just have fun.

I have seen this sort of “what if” question peeve people off, but I see an inverse relationship between intelligence and vehemence more often than not as well. But, if you are intelligent and vehement (an outlier) just go away, ok?

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This is the best news in years, if you are a parasite/pathogen or Pepto Bismol.

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We’ve had nukable burritos in vending machines for decades – what was wrong with GutBombs(tm)?

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The McGoo Channel

I love driving fast and so I encourage all people to pass on the left and to go on their merry way if they are in a hurry. I get it. I like getting there sooner, too.

But I cannot stand tailgaters. If you are in a hurry then get going, go around.

In wintertime traffic jams I really hate tailgaters. Is being six inches off my rear bumper necessary? Does it get you here faster?

And so I found myself in the right lane northbound tonight and had an SUV impatient to get to wherever it was that he wanted to go while locked on my bumper. I found myself getting pretty steamed by this, since I was in a hurry myself but remaining patient. And I got even more irritated every time I looked back to see him jam on his brakes just short of tapping me.

WHAT could I do? If I slowed down, other people would simply pull in front of me and I would never move. What was I going to do?

Then, I channeled McGoo…

That venerable master of Denny’s, an asshole of massive proportions (he proudly crowed), and one of the best sneak attack veterans ever – a goth-baiter non pareil… I channeled Steamboat McGoo.

I could feel a calm come over me as the plan crystallized in my mind. I would speed up and brake at random, never for the same amount of time, and never resume after the same interval. Sometimes the lengths between me and the car in front would be 200 feet. Sometimes it would be 20 feet.

And it drove him wild. He was all over the road and could not tail me as badly as he wanted. After about ten minutes of this he violently swerved into the left lane and tailed that person instead, making exactly zero gains.

And I laughed and laughed and tipped my hat inMcGoo’s general direction.

Note: this will be known henceforth as “The McGoo Maneuver” in honor of my good friend McGoo.

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Well, maybe Fukushima is worse than I thought. It is affecting squid now.

Thanks to Cruel Wife for that awesome find.

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Diapers found at incinerator, found to be radioactive, and left there for days to become less radioactive before incineration. And here I thought diapers became more radioactive, not less, over time.

Boy, the whole radioactivity news line lately is hot-hot-hot.

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You might have a problem if you are mixing cocktails with hand sanitizer. Maybe.

Well, it does say it has vitamins. Maybe he’ll be ok.

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You know I have dreamed of the Republican Party giving up on the ridiculous contortions to court the Latino vote, but never like this.

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Thursday, just another Thursday.

Pr0n stars against the genital mutilation of rodents. I did not know there was such a problem. Nor would I ever have thought to check.

Ever.

Let’s see, I could talk about Chris Christie but he is kind of loathesome and at present I just hope he crashes and burns. And frankly, the thought of him in the Oval Office creeps me out more than rodent genital mutilation.

Let us talk instead of other things.

I believe that it is pretty much established that Obamacare is going to mess with insurance for most us in uncomfortable ways. It is likely that some of us will even pay more, which is a trifle shocking.

In point of fact, there are other ways this may tamper with things. For instance, this morning I saw some mail from our insurance that said my prescribed 12 visits of PT for back are in question – they now authorize only 3 visits, and any more than that will require additional justification from my doctor (another call in and more hassle). This is essentially more work and time, and work/time costs more money, not less.

Fine.

It reminded me of the period where my auto insurance was covering my neck problems. The auto insurer was doing this handshake agreement with my medical insurance. It was terribly confusing. Now tell me what happens when your medical premiums go up because it all becomes more expensive. Do you think your automobile premiums will stay the same?

Think about this. Do you really think there is any reason to believe that auto premiums won’t swing upwards at all?

I have faith in human nature, and unlike liberals, I think the free market has more sway over fair prices than government regulations. The democrats think that they have got problems, and they think single-payer is the solution (or was the original goal), but if auto premiums rise… They will have troubles, too.

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I read in Drudge today a link to an interesting article.

Smart PJs are storytelling pajamas, that use mobile technology, similar to a QR code, to display bedtime favorites on a smartphone or tablet.

Now, read the next section carefully.

The bedtime stories are contained in the polka dots on the child’s pajamas, which are available in pink or blue.

“You scan one of those dot patterns on the kid’s pajamas – there are 47 different ones – and each one of those dot patterns is a bedtime story,” says Murdoch.

To choose a story, parent or child launches the Smart PJs Stories app (free, in Apple Store for iOS, or Google Play for Android), and holds the device’s camera over the dot patterns.

“You take the picture, and it automatically launches the story,” Murdoch says.

Murdoch says most of the stories contained in the app are in the public domain.

“It’s all the classics,” Murdoch says. “Cinderella, The Gingerbread Man, Old Mother Hubbard, Humpty Dumpty.”

Murdoch hired voice actors and artists to record the stories and illustrate the slides that correspond with the story.

Catch that? Go read Neal Stephenson’s book The Diamond Age.

Ractors!

The story by Stephenson is about nanotechnology, where actors (re-actors) are hired to interact with people by acting out roles, and they have nanites embedded in their skin so their real faces can be captured digitally, and the customer can have whatever they want, provided the ractor is paid enough to do it. Actual live meatspace interaction need never happen.

A nano-designer is asked to create a bespoke device called “The Young Lady’s Illustrated Primer” and then destroy the design. It was to be made for a rich man’s grand-daughter or niece as one of a kind but is stolen and ends up with a poor neglected girl named Nell, who is essentially raised by a ractor who begins to care for her as if Nell were her own daughter.

But the overarching story is that with nanologic or a sufficiently advanced Turing machine, one could raise a child using one of these devices whether or not there was a ractor. Maybe. The question the book leaves is: Is it good enough or is it better than nothing if it is not as good as the real thing?

It is at once a heartwarming story, a breathtakingly sad story, and a cautionary story. And worth every penny.

The second and third possibilities (sad and cautionary) are totally do-able, and the first can only come from someone who loves the kid.

How can one do that, make a connection, by letting a device read a story to one’s kid?

Note: Full and honest disclosure requires me to state that I am a total fanboy of Stephenson’s, so my bias should be noted. “The Diamond Age” is a must-read, regardless. Then go read “Snow Crash”, “Zodiac”, and “Cryptonomicon”.

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Well, since it is a serious post anyway, I would bring this up – who knew that Hitchcock would have done a documentary on the Holocaust?

I will probably see it since I have made it a point to witness many of the real evil things that men do, not Hollywood (but not all, there are some lines I draw, where I am incapable of seeing, especially when it comes to children). I don’t do this out of morbid curiosity or fascination, but I feel that someone has to witness these horrible things. Someone has to be able to say “Yes, I have seen it, it is horrible, and even if you cannot bring yourself to see it, know that these things exist, they are real, and should never be buried or forgotten.”

Too many people have forgotten, I think.

Sorry for the serious turn tonight.

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Well, maybe something to take your mind off the other stuff…

Man takes dive in snow challenge.

Heard about this today from The Butcher of Lansing.

I may have done a global warming dance in the snow barefoot but the skin of my feet is a lot tougher than my mini-me’s skin.

Talk about a life-changing lapse of common sense.

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Blowing goats.

Yes, you heard me. This. Cold. Snap. Blows. Goats.

Could be worse, I know, but damn it is cold. Taking the trash down to the road reads like a Jack London story.

To impress the kids last night I ran barefoot out in the snow and did a Global Warming dance. At -18F it doesn’t take long to get cold.

Cruel Wife and Lemurita followed suit later on after a double-dog dare.

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Cruel Wife and I recounted to the kids the Christmas We All Vomited Copiously (during dinner).

Lemurita got the virus first and passed it on to us.

So I said slyly, “Well you know Lemurita, that is why you have been grounded for years and will remain so until you are eighteen.”

What?”

“Oh yes. It is why you don’t have a cellphone. I imagine HackerBoy will get one next year.”

(Scream). “Daaaaa-aaaad!!!”

I looked at CW and said “I am a bad person, aren’t I?”

(She nodded emphatically as she checked her hearing on her right side.)

“No, seriously, Lemurita…. Do you really think I would be so rotten as to do that?”

She looked at me with a steely stare and said, “I wouldn’t have until you said that.”

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My sister has been worried about Fukushima and what it will do to the Northwest.

To read a number of sources, the whole affair sounds like self-cooking shrimp and Fallout 4 and 5 will happen there.

So… I don’t think so. You can find a million billion jillion links out there that paint a conspiracy of isotopic lingering death spirals, but I just don’t buy it. Dilution, baby.

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Cruel Wife says “No.”

I think this kind of decor would be cool.

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This article has hogged a tag on my browser for some time. Time to clear it out.

Seriously, is the “EM messes with life’s karma, dude” refrain ever going to go away?

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A Lot of Things Should happen.

It is a cold day in Hell (Michigan). -13F.

Over where we are at it is a cool -17.

It means that Sith won’t be around, which is a paradox. She said it would be a cold day in Hell before she showed up in the winter.

I am so confused.
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Just to prove to the family that I haven’t a lick of sense I ran out in the snow barefoot at -17F.

It is cold, did you know that? Coldest I had ever gone out in the snow barefoot was -5F previously.

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