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Archive for the ‘cretins’ Category

Been a full week since Boston, and in that time we have learned that a lot of stereotypes exist for a reason.

Biggest one is that suspecting that bombers are Muslim terrorists just isn’t the unfair thing so many whiners are calling it.

Oh, the whinging has been going on for some time. In the OKC Bombing we had to endure cries of unfair profiling. Sirota last week on Salon couldn’t wait to exclaim with maximal insensitivity to the victims that he hoped the bomber(s) had white skin, and then went on to grind his axe. Many of us thought “Muslim terrorists” because it isn’t irrational to do so.

Now, while we ponder on the dipshit things we have heard in the last week, take this in…

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Yeah, that is a real book. No, I don’t remember where I found the link. Really. Amazon, folks. It is all on Amazon.

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Hey look everyone, it is my kitten on a giant dog thing!

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Nope, not my cat. But it must be a clone of her. I would show a picture of her but that would be redundant.
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Now have a pic of an amazing food converter!

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The Sithy would approve, I am sure.

If Darth Vader had a car it would be an Ariel Atom. I would totally be evil for a chance to have some fun with one.

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I found a neat … Rather, I was pointed to a neat app by ID10T Killer… Write with your finger, add numbers, change things, erase others, and it does OCR and figures out the math real time. Too cool.

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I got a genuine Islamohatred(tm) comment for the old Mohammed’s Secret graphic. How about that. Not even sure what brought that individual to these pages. Full of good old righteous anger though.

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You know my love of knives.  For some reason this one just appeals to me.  Go buy one.

horseshoe_knife_by_logan_pearce_by_night_everclear-d4tufy5

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Just a statement of fact, no links – I’m seeing this new Pope and I think I like the guy.  I’m not Catholic but I still have a lot of respect for the Pope.  When he can stand up at the Vatican and say “May God forgive you for what you have done” after being chosen, there is a guy who knows nuance, has a sense of humor, and oh-so-subtly set the tone of what he will and will not call “bullshit” on during his time here as Pope.  I also think he’s going to give the commander of the Swiss Guard ulcers from worry.

An old joke – no idea where it came from:

“I wouldn’t mind being a cardinal.  I definitely wouldn’t want to be the Pope though.  I’m not a papal person.”

Somehow listening to “The Smoking Popes” do their number “The Pope Smokes Dope” when we have a Pope with only one lung won’t be the same. (go look it up on Youtube – I need to go to bed – they’re punkers)

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The Urean Terrorists have struck an elevator in the Long Island Rail Road station.  Looks like the damage was pretty bad.  Apparently if you have enough home-grown terrorists who drank shitty wine drop trou in the elevator and whiz until their bladder is empty enough times you can destroy the floor and the works of the elevator down below.  As in “may be totalled”.

Is it really so hard to put a liquid sensor in there that locks the elevator (or electrocutes the sonofabitch) just as soon as the floor gets moist?  Then have it autodial the cops and the meat wagon to come get the trash out of the elevator.

Come on… someone  had to have noticed that it smelled like the cleaning closet at a sorority house during Greek Week.  Get enough people involved it is actually worse than cat piss.

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We need a pic from Cruel Wife to liven this post up in a nice way – like putting up curtains or something.  A Glasswing Butterfly.  She won’t let me put up pictures of Milla, Hendricks, or Theron, so we’ll be stuck with dragonlizardthings, chameleons, butterflies, and snowflakes. All of them are perfectly geared to the male psyche.

Glasswing Butterfly

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Like a bad rash that won’t go away, Obama was melancholy that the Evil Sequestration Perpetrated by the Republicans have forced him and the missus to move mee-maw out of the White House.  Yep, they packed up a U-Haul truck and drove her off to a slum somewhere, may a pox rot the Republican’s eyes.

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I notice the enraged rioters complaining about a teen carrying a gun who was fatally shot.  One article says two shots were in the back and three shots in the front.  You could automatically call it that the dirty cops shot him in the back and he turned to them in a plea for his life and they shot him again as he tried to show his weapon.  You could also say that he was facing them, told them he had a gun, and made a dumb move that got him shot three times, spun around and shot twice more.  Shot in the back sounds emotional as hell but did those shots come first or last?

As veeshir noted, the kid supposedly was going to turn in the gun in between church service and volunteering at a soup kitchen.  Go see just how bad veeshir’s case of Oyster Herpes is.  I heard from him that it hurts like hell and makes your junk all scaly and dry.  Actually, he is to be commended for an awesome McGoo-Style headline that was actually supported by the linkage in the post.

Fact is, the kid was packing on the street.  Smartest move would have been to stand really still and follow the police’s directions to the letter.

What I’m not getting is why rioters are destroying local businesses.  This seems like a pretty silly way to treat your friends when it was someone else who pissed you off.  What it smacks of is thugs living in their own little “we good, everyone else bad, cops should all die” club.  It has the feel of Detroiters and Chicagoans drowning and choking in their own shit.

Witness accounts seem to be evolving from cop interviews “couldn’t see much” to reporter interviews “he didn’t have a gun in his hand”.

But City Councilman Jumaane Williams, a frequent NYPD critic, blasted outsiders who he said escalated tensions. “Please stay the HELL out of our community will only agitate our kids,” Williams fumed on Twitter. “It’s dangerous and counterproductive.”

Sorry, but police kind of have this job description that says swaths of the city cannot become lawless islands filled with gun-totin’ juveniles.  Your kids need to agitate a bit less and quit going through life thinking that it’s all about them.
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Ok, more Cruel Wife decorations.  Think doilies on the arms of chairs and lace coffee coaster things.
This is just like that except it is fagile, crystalline water at reasonably high pressure (for an SEM) and probably pretty damn cold.
SEM Snowflake
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Apparently the last of the little tinglies have run back down Chris Matthew’s leg (that’s called urine, Chris… Jesus, get a grip, man, you’re pissing yourself).  For a guy who lived through the budget issues in the 90’s he is sure doing a good job of painting the coming of the Four Horsemen.

Matthews: “How does Barack Obama escape this frightening axe coming down sharply and brutally on his presidency? How does he avoid personal harm when the country rises up in anger? When the army and naval bases stop writing checks? When people stop shopping because they don’t have salaries? When the airports seize up because the air traffic controllers are cut? When the bitching and yelping reach up to the White House gates themselves? What will we do when the government itself shuts down because Congress won’t authorize another nickel in spending?

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Have another gratuitous evil demon-kitty pic.  She still does this and leaps, delivering silent death from above.

treedcat

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The sequester is not the end of the world – I repeat NOT the end of the world.  But you have concerned commenters who feel that it is, and not only that they can’t get a lot right.

Terrylee

March 14th, 2013
2:31 pm

Okay…….what hold does Obama have on you jerks,,,we know Rogers was blackmailed for something he did not want made public…look you are suppose to defend the constitution and Nothing else…we donot want your personal opinions, period. Donot belittle your position anymore than you already have…we must cut the budget and we must do more to cut the budget that will effect everyone. The country is about to undergo the worst possible change ever, we are about to lose the us reserve currency in the world, the IMF and many other countries are about to drop the USA dollar as the reserve currency..which means our dollare will be worth Nothing. The feds keep printing money to give to banks to stop them from raising interest rates…the government(Obama) is trying to Nationalize all retirement plans..401ks..IRAs etc… so they can steal all 15 trillion dollars of Americans retirement plans…we are about to lose our place in the world and all money in banks will be lost and your worried about :What”……….A new unified currency is planned in world meetings right now to replace the dollar……we have serious problems facing this nation. You are now owned by Obama……we no longer have faith in our system of justice.

Count the errors.  It’s fun.

Common Sense below, is bereft of it.

Common Sense

March 14th, 2013
2:27 pm

Good. Trim everything but military and fire 98% of govt workers including the Supreme Court. If they can’t survive with the money they get, trim all the friviolous cases they embrace that gives them an excuse to ask for more tax dollars. Cut the purse strings and sever the head of the snake.

That’s great – get rid of one of the three pillars of government and throw a pile of checks and balances into the incinerator.  Good thinking – and end up with an even less fiscally responsible God-King and Parliament for Life.

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We met with Spaced Diode over coffee this morning and he and Lemurita played a game of chess while we ate onion rings and got really amped on caffeine.  I admit to stealing onion rings from my family.  I’m in the wrong there.  I suck.

As we left the coffee shop we ran into people from the stuffed teddy bear factory on the corner who were dressed in full teddy bear suits.

Kids.  Do NOT feed the bears.  Don’t run from them and don’t tease them… Do NOT look them in the eyes!  It’s a sign of aggression!  Don’t look at them!   – Lemur King to his children upon coming across two adults in giant teddy bear outfits

Yes.  I really said that.  No, I don’t know what the people thought.  I didn’t stick around because adults in giant animal suits kind of creep me out.  That sort of thing should remain in the bedroom between consenting adults.

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Ran across a blog I’d seen for the first time quite a while back.  The section I enjoyed the most was “Steve!  Don’t Eat It!”  I threw the quote up at Nazi Surf Kittens Must Die because it hasn’t been touched in months.

In general I’m looking for things that are apolitical.  I’m sick of politicians.

The only thing weirder than me drinking breast milk, is the fact that milk is coming out of my wife’s chest in the first place. It sure as hell didn’t do that when I met her.  I’m telling you, the whole thing is lunacy.  I love my wife, but does she really have to be such a mammal?   - Steve, at “Steve!  Don’t Eat It!

I have to say, that’s comedy gold, especially if you have experienced the situation yourself.

If you feel inclined to answer what is normally an admittedly socially inappropriate question, how many female mammals who read this blog have… uh… previously lactated and tasted what was on tap yourselves?

I expect zero (0) answers to that question, but dammit, I’m curious. 

Also, I just realized today that NSKMD is over two years old.  Two years since the starting of that thing.  I remember with crystal clarity discussing the idea with taobmaetS ooGcM, as if it was yesterday.  He said something that I can’t quote exactly and I am unclear on what I said in return but it was all pretty profound.  He fired it up anyway because hey, blogs are cheap.

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For Halloween I read Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart” to Lemurita with the promise of some HP Lovecraft when I can find a good story to get her started in the genre.  Last night during dinner Lemurita made me so proud… she said “Dad, can we read some Shakespeare sometime?”

My jaw hit the table.  The greatest wordsmith in the histoory f humankind – the Chopin of the literature world – and my daughter wants to read at least some of his works with me.  She isn’t even ten yet.
I tried my damnedest to recite from Hamlet from memory – failing, however devoutly to be wish’d that I could do otherwise – but she got the idea.  Cruel Wife doesn’t personally enjoy his complicated thought structure but she was supportive.  I find this particularly amusing because within the last two weeks I tried to get CW interested in watching a modern adaptation of The Tempest with me.

No, it is not a great adaptation but I liked the Mirren version of Prospero (Prospera) and I thought Ariel was creepy-fantastic.  It wasn’t awesome but it wasn’t awful, either.  It just was.

CW opined that Lemurita might first enjoy “Much Ado About Nothing” on video first, then move into the written form.  I think that’s a fair compromise.  I did read to her a portion of MacBeth for grins and giggles because I thought she’d enjoy the imagery from the witches’ brew and their troublemaking.

And she did enjoy the imagery.  Grossed her out with the “finger of birth-strangled babe” part though.

I cannot wait until she’s old enough to read Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo

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We watched Paul last night (Simon Pegg and Nick Frost).  It is not as good as Shaun of the Dead but it isn’t bad, either.  Paul, the beer-drinking weed-smoking alien was pretty good CG.

Paul: This is America. Kidnapping a Christian is worse than harboring a fugitive.

Heh.  Paul fell shy of encompassing a hat-tip to Redneck Rampage but it didn’t do horribly, either.  It could have used a Vixen and some Moon Pies but I don’t expect Pegg to be particularly knowledgeable about Moon Pies.

Graeme Willy: You are an alien!
Paul: To you I am, yes.
Graeme Willy: Are you gonna probe us?
Paul: *Why* does everyone always assume that? What am I doing? Am I harvesting farts? How much can I learn from an ass?

Anyone out there know how probing came to be associated with aliens?  I mean, who decided to “go there” with that idea in the first place?  Of course… it really is proof that aliens are real, isn’t it?  Obviously no normal person would just make the probing stuff up, right?

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Apparently some people in Chicago don’t understand that a “Job Fair” isn’t where they hire you, it is where people sniff butts and network – job seekers meet employers, blunt character assassinations take place, oppression and exploitation of the downtrodden, etc.  At least those were the only behaviors at all the job fairs I ever went to.  I never saw a job application at a job fair.

Rodney Booker said, “I stood in line for four hours. They better give me a Wal-Mart gift card, or something.”

Rodney, you just provided a potential clue as to why you might be out of work right now.  A large number of people are looking for gainful employment and many of them are smart and capable people but there is also a percentage like yourself that might – just might - be looking because… you’re an idiot.

“… better give me a Wal-Mart gift card…” -

Seriously, is this something you believe?

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Swampy U.

Another hurricane for New Orleans.  Seriously, if this one hits and lays waste to NO, I don’t want a single dime spent on rebuilding it or helping people out who live there.  Enough is enough.

It is sad, yes.  But the rest of us should not be on the hook for their poor judgment.

Update:

Looky…

Past performance being an indicator of future possibility (not deterministic, however), this does not look good.  We’ll see how much energy that sucker picks up in the next 24 hours.

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All the talking heads are saying either “we’re all gonna die” or “the economy is on the mend – the rate of jobless claims isn’t skyrocketing quite as fast.  Garbage doesn’t appear to lie so I’ll just trust in that.   GDP lags because it takes a while to collect and compile the data, but I’d say there’s a high degree of correlation.

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I nearly gagged.  It’s always about Him, isn’t it?

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Collecting Cretin Cream (AKA bullshit) in the wild is easy.

Put 30pW of electrical energy into an LED and get out 62pW of photons.

Then, sit back and let the comments section fill up with BS, and scrape off the “cream” that floats to the top.

A commenter said:

I understand the power and light levels we are talking about are vanishingly low. Is there a chance that this technology can be scaled up to more useful, everyday levels, like generating the equivalent light of a 60 watt incandescent bulb,say? If it could be scaled up, my first thought was coupling these LED’s with solar cells to generate more electricity to power more of these lights, potentially creating a heat-fed perpetual-motion machine, but I realize that solar cells would never be efficient enough to make that work.

Yeah, actually uttered and put out there on the internet where it will live forever.

That’s exactly what some of my friends were thinking. Say you’ve got a 1 W electricity source (thus a 2.3 W light output). You only actually need a photocell that is 1/2.3 = ~43.5% efficient in order to have perpetual, self-fed light. Any efficiency above that will effectively be an engine that converts heat into electricity.Note the significant difference here between this engine and normal engines. The normal conception of entropy is based on the assumption that you need a heat DIFFERENCE in order to convert head energy to any other form of energy (ie, you need a reason for heat to flow). However, this new engine would actually break that principle, because no matter how cold the LED is, powering it electrically would induce an endothermic process that would absorb what little heat was available and convert it to light. Suffice it to say, though I’m sure I’m missing some subtlety, it seems that this discovery disproves our classical conception of entropy. With enough of these, one could literally prevent the heat death of the universe [emphasis mine – LK]

Wow.  Saving the universe 30pW at a time.  Ingenious.

No, seriously.  The idea that this device violates the first and second laws of thermodynamics has every physics weirdo short-stroking it all over the place but there is no free lunch.  It either works or it doesn’t but don’t for a second run around thinking that thermodynamics is going to get turned on it’s ear.

Go smoke another bowl, dudes, and stay away from science.  Zero-point energy, crystals, and blue babies – that’s where it’s really at.

Our “classical conception” of entropy is safe.

Ok, I’m done now.

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New word definition from Dr. Lemur:

Planic Attack – n. – The frenzied planning/fear response of management when finally recognizing the project-threatening technical issues extensively documented by engineering at all stages of the project.   Usage:  Management finally realized that they were selling the customer on what is essentially a perpetual motion device and had a planic attack and tried to formulate some sort of damage control.

If you can make a neater/tighter definition and example, I’d love to hear it, because mine is clunky.

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I had the most irritating mother-in-law experience on Memorial Day.  For fear of disruption of harmony under our roof I will not relay the exact details other than to say that my parting words on the matter to my MiL were “Apology accepted, I understand your feelings, but in communicating them, your delivery sucked.”

Let’s just say that the situation would have tested anyone’s patience unless they were in a vegetative state or were recently lobotomized with a rusty icepick.

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This is last week’s news but I can’t help fixate on the incongruencies…

On one hand the Kentucky and Arkansas primaries must’ve ended up how they did because of racism.  On the other hand, swing state voters appear to think (correctly) that Joe Biden is a total schmuck.

On the OTHER hand, could it be, just perhaps… put it in the background… could it be that Obama sucks as a president and people have every right to not like him and vote against him without being called racist?

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I may add more to this later…

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Reason Offline.

What’s in a name? Whatever you want if you are Frank Zappa or this guy

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop. Yes, that is the guy’s name.

I want to point something out.

Last week a teenage widow with an infant was told by the dispatcher that he could not tell her to shoot the intruders in her home but she needed to do what she needed to do to protect her child.

And the cops, being adults, said she was within the law. And they were right.

But then there is the judge that allowed “Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop” to change his name. You could argue that it is a free country and that as an adult he had the right… But most adults find this sort of a name to be indicative of a ridiculous time-wasting attention-getting cry of a man-child with separation-anxiety issues involving his unhealthy fixation on his third-grade teacher.

Calling bullshit on people and refusing to cave to their childish little bullshit excuses for being a wanker ought to be the norm, not the wild exception, even more so for judges.

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I think everywhere you go they ought to just start banning people for using their damn cellphone where it is totally rude, but this is a start… a cellphone stack

It works like this: as you arrive, each person places their phone facedown in the center of the table. As the meal goes on, you’ll hear various texts and emails arriving… and you’ll do absolutely nothing. You’ll face temptation—maybe even a few involuntary reaches toward the middle of the table—but you’ll be bound by the single, all-important rule of the phone stack.
Whoever picks up their phone is footing the bill.

I have several co-workers, boss included, that don’t seem to understand that not only are the rest of us unimpressed by their self-importance-inflating toys, we’re kind of insulted that in spite of us having other things to do than be held captive in a stupid meeting ourselves, we’re sitting there while they conduct their more important business. So we sit and listen for when the next ringtone will disrupt 23 people’s meeting yet again.

To get the same interrupting BS at a restaurant? I do not pay good money for a table, food, and good service so I can be put on edge by someone else’s delusions of multitasking.

I think I like the idea of crushing the offender’s phone in a doorway better.
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Congress.  Vote the entire lot out.  Tar and feather them.  Start with Boehner.

House Speaker John Boehner says the pact he’s reached with President Barack Obama and other leaders of Congress on lifting the debt limit and taming the budget “isn’t the greatest deal” but lives up to the GOP’s principles on taxes and spending.

They’re cutting 1 trillion dollars over ten years.  That’s 100 billion per year in a yearly budget of over 3 trillion dollars.

The ****wad has just made the biggest argument for why so many Tea Party folks should show up in record numbers to make sure that anyone who now aligns themselves with the GOP is gone and why people of any party should be voted out after one term.   I’m a conservative and hearing Boehner say that only cutting one trillion over ten years is living up to the GOP’s principles tells me that the GOP is dead and he’s given it just one more in a long string of kisses of death.

I’m supposed to feel better than this about it, though:

Congressional sources familiar with the outlines of the deal say it would cut the deficit by about $2.8 trillion and raise the debt limit by a similar amount. The deal includes $1.2 trillion in spending cuts up front and creates a select bicameral committee to find another $1.6 trillion in savings later in the 112th Congress.

I’m sure there’s a committee that is going to be as dedicated to finding the $1.6T as Obama was in listening to the committee recommendations about the budget last winter.  Yep, expect some quick action on that one.

I want to hear a certain list of numbers and if I don’t hear them I want to know why.  Yearly.

  1. How much do we spend on things we need this year?
  2. How much do we take in?
  3. How much has the debt been paid down this year?
  4. When will the debt be paid off?

#2 minus #3 minus #1 goddamned well better be greater than zero and never a negative number.  If it is more than zero, I want my taxes reduced by that much divided by 350M next year.  When you set out #1, I want to know exactly where it is going, and I don’t want budget tricks played – no estimates or assumptions.  If you can’t do that, the budget needs to be simplified to the point where that doesn’t happen.

And I want the extra alphabet departments removed.  And a 10% flat tax.  And no more pork damnit.  And for f***’s sake get rid of the congressional pensions and benefits.  @$$holes.  Stop it with the games, you chickensh*t bastards, and for once play straight and grow up – the rest of us are seriously tired of your sh*t.

Expect Boehner to break out in tears any day now, talking about his love of his country and how stressful this has been.

San Fran Nan:

We all may not be able to support it or none of us may be able to support it.  – Nancy Pelosi

Me personally, I’m never gonna give up my daily pork rinds, caviar, champagne, and military jets y’all are paying for because I can’t support giving it up.  That’s what she’s saying.

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