Archive for the ‘ID10T Stories’ Category

We got 8″ of snow last night after a beautiful day yesterday of 40-50F degree weather – a freaking heat wave relatively speaking.  And now the mercury is crashing, heading for -5F tonight.

I’ve been listening to people whinge and bellyache about this winter for months now.  Months.

And I honestly was able to tell them that I have not minded it.  I haven’t.  The drives haven’t been as dangerous as some years because it was so freaking cold, not a slushy 28 degree snow on warm soil.

Today… today was different.  Damn white sh*t.  Everywhere.

Coworker Laconic Pup sent this.  Awesome.  It is circling the web as he says, but it is still awesome.

second winter


Sheila Jackson-Lee is beyond stupider than a bag of hammers.


As far as mineral names go, “Ringwoodite” is about as wickedly funny as it gets.

I have always pondered on biblical flooding and said “No, really… where did all the water GO??”


Obama is right.  Congress doesn’t have the authority to vote something like this over the president because it does violate the whole checks and balances idea rather thoroughly.

President Obama is threatening to veto a law that would allow Congress to sue him in federal courts for arbitrarily changing or refusing to enforce federal laws because it “violates the separation of powers” by encroaching on his presidential authority.

[Too bad he’s so loose with the limits to his auth-or-i-TAY… – LK]

“[T]he power the bill purports to assign to Congress to sue the President over whether he has properly discharged his constitutional obligation to take care that the laws be faithfully executed exceeds constitutional limitations,” the White House Office of Management and Budget said Wednesday in a statement of administration policy. “Congress may not assign such power to itself, nor may it assign to the courts the task of resolving such generalized political disputes.”

However… he hasn’t the authority to disregard his duties.  All this stuff was already laid out in that 400 year old Constitution Jackson-Lee suddenly professes to believe in.  It is a nation of rules and laws that was set up to take power out of individual men’s and group’s hands.  They can change it via a 2/3 vote Amendment though.  Let’s do that.

Congress AND the idiot in the White House have both granted themselves far too much power not expressly given them.

Time to get rid of them all, my Angry Mob Voter friends.

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Oh he is so doomed…

How do you know you are a dead man?

A California couple is asking the public for help locating a woman who the husband accidentally sold a box to without realizing his wife’s $23,000 wedding ring was inside.

He’s dead, and he knows it.

More later…

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Proof? Here’s proof.

Well, Santorum just managed to prove to me that he should never ever ever be allowed within 500 feet of the White House, much less be President.

Presidential candidate Rick Santorum on Thursday said Republicans should give President Barack Obama another term if Santorum isn’t the GOP nominee… – CBSlocal.com

That shows a serious lack of good judgment.  Everybody says stupid things at times but some things are so stupid nobody says them, except for defective people.  This guy is a defective conservative.  My stupid thing was to think Santorum was a better choice than Romney.  He erased that.

NOBODY ranks below Obama at this point.  People better get it in their heads – you may not like Romney (I don’t, not at all) but I’ll willingly, gladly, and with a smile on my face pull the lever for him if he’s my only alternative to Obama.  Or I’ll do it with a grimace and pray for that meteor strike to wipe us all out.  Either way, no more Obama in the next term is a win-win.

Gingrich may be an ass but he’s got more on the ball, apparently, than Santorum.  He’s not a dumb ass.

Rick Santorum is dead wrong. Any GOP nominee will be better than Obama.  – The view as it is seen by the eye of Newt

That’s all I’ve got to say.


Not responding much to commenters lately – so sorry – very very busy and lots happening everywhere in life lately.  It’s been real.


Tomorrow… I post another rant about real racism.

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Comedy Gold.

The admin gal (Savior of Kittens) who runs HR and a raft of other things around here sent me this clipping from an e:mail that arrived in her box. Real applicant? Gosh, I hope so. The HR gal dropped her bong and a baggy of purple hit the ground. Her office smells like bong water now.




“I need a good paying job where I can smoke pot during the day”… don’t we all, sister. Benefits? Sure!

No, SofK didn’t really drop her bong. No, I don’t smoke dope, although you could be excused for thinking so if you listen to me long enough. We do happen to be a drug-free company. SofK was laughing so hard she was crying.

I asked the boss (who was standing there) if perhaps it had been a bad idea that I had lit up in the middle of yesterday’s meeting.  Sadly, he’s become used to me and I can no longer surprise him w/o going into pretty deep waters.
I just saw the surgeon again today because he asked me to come discuss some thoughts he had. He did a risk/reward analysis and only wants to fuse two discs. His other choice for me is to opt for a disc replacement. When will they need to replace it? Never. Recovery time before resuming life? Two weeks if fusion, one week if replacement. How cool is that, huh?

My insurance may not cover the disc replacement. I told him I don’t care which way we go as long as I get hand and finger strength and dexterity back and less pain. He thinks that is possible.

So in 2-3 weeks I may get a lot of my life back…

Dare I hope?

It would be just in time for Christmas.

Note:  Do I really think it’ll be 1-2 weeks for recovery?  No.  It will be longer than that.  1-2 weeks is time before I can go back to work but taking it easy.  Yes, I could do more and sooner, but why push it?


Co-worker BLA (Black Lab on Amphetamines) sent this to me today:

Title of article is “Amazing story of cat reunited with owner after 18-month outing to Margate.”  The owner seems happier than kitty, judging by the photo:


I think he is right – the cat seems less-than-thrilled.

The Dude made me close my eyes for a Christmas present. He knows I am a softie for rubber chickens. Ugly, ain’t it?

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Our cat – Jack – has been whizzing all over the house, and I don’t mean “moving fast”.  It all started about the time he snuck outside and stayed there the whole day – shortly thereafter my dad came to visit for four days with his wife.

He’s whizzed four feet off the floor.  I can’t do that, so I have to wonder what kind of internal pressures cats are capable of.

At the vet’s office they looked at his urine test results, stuck a thermometer up his butt (at which point he lost his cool about the whole “let’s go to the vet” thing), palpated everything (hiss, phffffft), looked at his eyes and teeth (phffft, phfffft, growl), and checked his paws (double helpings on everything all around).

The vet concluded what I could have told him – that it was behavioral – and I knew this to 99-and-four-nines percent certainty.   Odds are that the black cat who keeps going through our yard is freaking him out and dad’s visit didn’t help matters.

What was the doc’s advice?  10 mg Amitriptyline once daily.  Great, my cat is on antipsychotics.

Of course we all knew that cats are psychotic furry little animal-world gangsters, anyway.  Or small irritable french women in cheap fur coats.

And at the pharmacy the gal asked if I was from Texas.

No, but I drove through northern Texas once.  No family there, either.

I found out that there is another me, by the same exact name, in Texas.  He has a Jack, too.  A dog though.  I told the gal that the odds weren’t high for that combination and she thought it strange, too.  Good thing the other me’s dog wasn’t a cat or I’d have gotten wiggy.

I got home and threw a pill down his gullet.  He’s been waaaaay sleepy ever since.  Kind of nice because he’s not picking on his sister.


Cool science thing for today… using DNA to order quantum dots.


Mmmm… Mobius bacon.  The plan was to put this over two eggs sunny-side up with a few IED’s next to it all and call it the “Grand Salaam Breakfast – Two Mobius Strips and Moons over IED’s.  But gosh-darn it, I’m tired and it was frankly starting to look like too much work.  So anyway, there’s some mobius bacon.  Wonder how it’d look on a tote or a t-shirt…

In related news, I gave up trying to do a Klein Pig.  Maybe later.  It was making my brain smoke.


That’s funny… the guy has never been known for his sense of humor unless you thought he could walk on water, in which case you had to laugh at his jokes, or else be left behind after the Rapture.

“That’s why all his confirmation — all the answers at his confirmation hearings will be in a form of a question,” Obama said to silence.

“That’s a joke,” he reminded the audience.

Obama’s lead souffle falling as he babbled about nominating Richard Cordray to run the consumer bureau

Thing is, Big O, if you have to tell someone it is a joke you might as well not draw attention to yourself with an even more awkward thing like saying “That’s a joke”.  Because then it’s like wrassling a girl – if you win, you beat a girl – if you lose, you got beaten by a girl.  If you have to say it was a joke then either yet again no one will find it funny – OR – they’ll do this little pity-chuckle which is even worse.   You lost, man – let it go.


Hey, good news kid!  You get your cast off today!  And then you get a new one after the re-attachment surgeries to put your fingers back on.  Way to go, dad.

more later

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It Piles Up.

It started innocently enough.

I tore a thumbnail below the level of the skin today, meaning there’s just no good way to trim it back because fingernail clippers can’t go beyond where the underside of the nail connects up with the skin.  Anyone with fingernails knows this.  So, how does one fix this?

Bright Idea #1:  Superglue to the rescue!

The superglue container was sort of glued shut.  So I used pliers to open it by pulling the little glue-encrusted tack out and with it came a bunch of crusty glue.

Then I repaired the torn nail.   So far, easy-peasy.

But the little tack wouldn’t go back in the tube.

Bright Idea #2:  Hold tube in palm of left hand and push hard with the right hand to force the tack back into the neck of the glue bottle.

Except the tube in my left palm slipped.  I drove the tack into my palm – buried the metal and crusty glue plug in my palm at the 4 o’clock side of dead-center.  Pulled my right hand away and saw it kind of stuck there.  You know… impaled.  I reached over and pulled the tack out quickly, and…

Bright Idea #3:  Quickly cover the wound with your right thumb.

Except the puncture wound had superglue all around it because the pointy tack was recently on the inside of the superglue’s tube/neck thingy.

Yes.  Yes.  Yes, I did superglue my right thumb over the wound in my left palm after driving a glue-soaked tack into said palm of said left hand after having just repaired a torn nail on the thumb of my left hand.

Note:  Superglue in a wound kind of stings.  Also, superglue has been used in the past for wound-suturing, so it worked great in plugging up the puncture in my palm.

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Hello Constant Reader (you know your name)… it is time for another installment (the first, actually) of “You put WHAT WHERE?”

Rectally-smuggled contraband included:

… a green cigarette lighter, cigarette rolling papers, a golf-ball size baggie of tobacco, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a one-inch-long smoking pipe and a small baggie of suspected marijuana.

That was just one person.  I am not making this up.  Only in the state where I lived for five years could this happen.  In Wenatchee, WA to be exact.

[Phil Stanley, jail administrator] said no contraband was found on a pat-down search or on a later strip search. About 90 minutes later … a jailer found a plastic bag and duct tape floating in the cell’s toilet. After being questioned by jailers, the man surrendered the contraband.

After being questioned by jailers… the man surrendered the contraband.

Whatever they are getting, the jailers aren’t getting paid enough.

The man was serving a three-day sentence.

The news article is titled:

Cheeky inmate overpacked for jail stay

I’m trying to picture it:  “So stick that up your ass and smoke it.”

I don’t want to picture it.

Thanks go to alert co-worker The Butcher of Lansing.


So Franken-boy graduated preschool today.  They asked each kid what they wanted to be when they grew up.  Cruel Wife said he was the only one to answer “A daddy”.

Now, that means there’s three scenarios:  (a) he’s got a line on a hot babe already and thinking ahead, (b) “daddy” to him means total authority and the chance to make people miserable, or (c) he likes and respects his dear old dad.

Option (c) is highly unlikely-unless- I am not his dad.


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