Archive for the ‘Mini-Blurb’ Category

Found here:   http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cave-johnson-combustible-lemons#.Th9cz4Lud8FFavorites:  “I don’t want your damn lemons” and “Demand to see life’s manager!”


“You have 80% of the American people who support a balanced approach. 80% of the American people support an approach that includes revenues and includes cuts. So the notion that somehow the American people aren’t sold is not the problem. The problem is members of Congress are dug in ideologically.”  – President Obama speaking while in the grips of a full-blown psychotic break

No, what the majority of Americans want is for the US government be restricted to the same financial limitations that they are.  If you are in debt, accrual of more debt is not an option.  Things that you’d like to have must be cut – be it cable, internet, fancier food, pet grooming, going out to eat, new car

Read Full Post »

Never Wash Fruit.

Update: I got a Winter Jacket.

No, not the wearable kind.

Jack-jack DaKatt was pawing at something on the couch tonight.  I thought “Idiot, you’re pawing at a piece of dried cheese.  Brilliant.  Just eat it already.”

Then the flash of yellow was more than that.

Having been stung a huge number of times once when I broke open a stump with a motorcycle footpeg, I can state with great firmness that I hate, no loathe, no… I despise yellowjackets.  I tossed the cat aside and did the drinking-glass-over-a-porn-mag… uh… over-a-Time-Magazine… uh, no, porn does sound better doesn’t it?  Don’t ask me why I had a Time magazine in my house.  I don’t want to talk about it.

Anyway, I put it outside in that state, glassed in and left it there.  It has been outside in Michigan winter weather for over three hours now.

Goes to show you that paper and dead-still air are really not bad insulators at all.  Brought it back in and dumped it unceremoniously on the counter to observe it (the Time Magazine stayed outside thankyouverymuch).  After two minutes it twitched and started going for my jugular so I put an impenetrable force-field of Ziploc ™ around it’s little wasp ass.

Now, dead seriously, I’m going to figure out the most awful way I can kill the little SOB.  I may even rig up a little pyre and stake and burn it.   Thou shalt not suffer a wasp to live. No, no… if I did all that Cruel Wife might think I was crazy or something and we wouldn’t want her to think that.  Must think of something more sane.

Do wasps have toenails?

****Why You Never Wash Fruit****

Cruel Wife picked up a pile of laundry on Sunday, just sweeping up everything in the area and washed it.

It included my heavy hooded flannel shirt/jacket/thneed thing.

She assumed that if I put it in the laundry pile, I must have gone through the pockets.  And I was dumb enough to set it there when I didn’t want it washed.  “I’ll just get that a bit later,” I said.

When she went to put the wet clothes in the dryer she discovered:

  • A fountain pen
  • A few quarters
  • My blackberry
  • Two shredded Kleenex ™
  • My car keys
  • And tobacco

Yes, she washed my good el-cheapo fountain pen.

What’s that you say?  She washed my BlackBerry?  Why, yes.  Yes, she did.

Note:  She heard something clunking in there  and said “What is THAT?”  and then said “Mmm.” and went upstairs.

Turns out they don’t like that much.  It says right on the box do not put BlackBerry in the washing machine.  Wash by hand using gentle detergents.

It still works.  Nothing was lost.  The only teensy-weensy problem is that it gets hot enough to fry teensy-weensy little quail eggs on it.

Read Full Post »

Update: Bishop Elvis Smoking a Stogey in Vegas.  Everything gaudy hand-rolled into one picture.

(courtesy of Michal Kwolek Galeria – thanks Michal, great art!)


All right, check out this title of a news article and tell me you didn’t click on it to read the story:

Boy doles out hundreds of fake $20 bills at school

Irritating to me is nowhere did it go into gory detail about how hundreds of kids beat him silly.

Now tell me you didn’t read it.

Neither did they mention the gunfight as they were trying to take the kid in.

What?  You still didn’t read it?  Good, because it was a real letdown.  Kid passes out fake money, the cops pick him up, he goes away.  Ho-hum.  Never get those minutes of your life back again.

By the way, an interesting article regarding currency and how it plays against the digital age is here, by a blogger named tino.  Interesting stuff.  He’s not arguing for being able to counterfeit $20’s but rather, now you can’t even use an image of one.  The article is not new (2004) but if you are like me, you’re learning something new every day.

Ok, every other day.

All right, once or perhaps twice a week.  Maybe.  Surely no less than once a month.


Have to say that I was a bit surprised to read this in the BBC News.

Ok, so read this and tell me your first knee-jerk response:

The Environment Minister Sammy Wilson has angered green campaigners by describing their view on climate change as a “hysterical psuedo-religion”.

In an article in the News Letter, Mr Wilson said he believed it occurred naturally and was not man-made.

“Resources should be used to adapt to the consequences of climate change, rather than King Canute-style vainly trying to stop it,” said the minister.

Do you see why I was surprised?   We’re talking BBC News!   I mean really, you’d expect that article to lead in with the fourth paragraph first:

Peter Doran of the Green Party said it was a “deeply irresponsible message.”

That’s more like it.

But then BBC News shocked me again with this:

“The tactic used by the “green gang” is to label anyone who dares disagree with their view of climate change as some kind of nutcase who denies scientific fact,” he said.

The minister said he accepted climate change can occur, but does not believe the cause has been identified.

“Reasoned debate must replace the scaremongering of the green climate alarmists.”

Has the world gone insane?  That BBC would even print those statements is heartening and creepy at the same time.

Read Full Post »

A Day in the Life of…


My blog has been slow since I left/returned from vacation.  Either the hiatus busted the momentum thingy or something changed in my writing but hits are way down.

Ever have one of those days where you feel like you could have done something different, anything actually, and it might have been a better day?  You know… things like sell a kidney, win a free sandwich with the Subway instant-win game, gotten a pedicure, wormed the neighbor’s cat, jaywalked, made macaroni art…

It wasn’t a bad day, honest.  It was just a slow day after a week and a half of pressure to get some real-world data for a project, and today was flat.  Dull.  Listless.  It had all the excitement and spontaneity of a librarian convention in Nebraska.  It was like watching a 70’s gameshow re-run.

I did clean off a small corner of my desk though – which hasn’t happened in over a year – so I could put down a cup of coffee.  I actually scrubbed the surface a little bit with a napkin and some cold coffee.

I did find a really cool link.  Learned something.  Caught me off guard.  Like how to disguise an entire factory.

Deep pools are cool, too.

Some things however, have decreased the net value of my day.  Case in point – trash as art.

Negative?  Positive?  IMAGINARY?  You decide.  Loungin’ lizards.

Positive.  Definitely positive.  Positively alien but cool.  A city concept art piece. Project Indigo.

My God, the 70’s sucked.  This TV set just proves it.   As did BJ and the Bear.

Looks like when guns and pranks mix, someone is sleeping on the couch.

That’s it for tonight kids.  My clock done run down.  More tomorrow

Read Full Post »

I feel like thrice-ground meat being poured into a sausage casing.  (Think “LiquidMeat“)

Flight was good, once Kap’n Kangaroo bounced us to our gate in Detroit.

Arrived on the tarmac with the tripartite requisite met for coming home:

I have a cold – a really bitchin’ lung-shredder of a cold

I strained myself lugging 400+ pounds of luggage around (strained everything, I think)

It is hot, humid, and we have no A/C for some reason known only to Forces of Evil (IRS, Obama, MDOT)

But we’re home.  My own bed, my own pillow, my fridge, my remote control, my riding lawn mower, and I can get back to kicking my ca… well, no, I can’t kick my cat anymore.  Poor little guy.  But I just looked and his gravestone is still in place, so the stone is heavy enough and I buried him deep enough to keep wild animals from snacking.  Now I must find a way to explain to my five year old why he isn’t here, when she notices.  Damn, damn, damn.

More tomorrow or tonight, depending on how I’m a-feelin’.

Drop me an e:mail if’n you’re out there.  I’ll be cruising the moronosphere, trolling for tidbits.  I’ve been tidbitless for so long….

Read Full Post »

NOTE: This is a mini-post because I don’t want to detract from the one below this “Why Iraq Had to Happen“. I feel that it is a very important post. This mini-post, however, I could not resist.

Man, for a reverend, he sure has “issues” – extortion, adultery, hatred, greed, pride… I am sure glad that public figures have not yet figured out that if you have a microphone on, you ought to still your tongue. It makes for great theater. I can’t wait to see Je$$ie Ja¢$on’$ apology. I guess HE isn’t qualified to give moral lectures to black folks – prolly just jealous.

In the NY Post:

WASHINGTON – In a shocking blast at Barack Obama that was caught on tape, the Rev. Jesse Jackson said, “I wanna cut his nuts out.”

He made the astonishingly vulgar remark as he accused the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee of giving moral lectures to African-Americans. [More…]

Aaaaaannnnnd the apology!!!

The Rev. Jesse Jackson is apologizing for disparaging remarks he made about Barack Obama’s relationship with African American church-goers, caught on camera during a break in a Fox News interview.

Those weren’t “disparaging remarks”, they were disturbing hateful remarks that if a white guy had said it, he’d be tarred, feathered, and castrated on the spot.

Read Full Post »

(The Home-made kimchi part of the post is a bit lower down, just after the paparazzi stuff…)

Why, there’s just nothing better than fresh paparazzo blood on the beach. It does my heart good to see this. In fact, I’d like to see more people go out of their way to smack a pap more often. These vermin are nothing more than stalkers and are given a pass because it’s “free speech”. My ass. Harassing people day and night is not free speech. It’s called being an ass, even if it is a bunch of actors getting abused.

Around 12 photographers were on the beach in Malibu this afternoon trying to get shots of Matty hitting the surf, when an all-out smackdown was laid on the pappers by turf-protecting surfers.

One pap was hit in the face and we’re told suffered a broken nose, while another was thrown into some rocks and had his camera smashed. McConaughey was not involved in the ruckus.

Police tell us a battery report was filed by one photographer and no arrests have been made.

Cops: Can you describe the perpetrator?
PaparASSi: Uh yeah, he was wearing a black neoprene johnny suit, had blonde hair, and he was really tanned. And he kept saying “Let me hit him again, dude.”
Cop: (puts away notepad) Well, we’ll get right on this and get back to you. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Update: More details on this celebrated event…


Made some kimchi tonight. A word to the wise…

  1. You are working with salt, lots of it
  2. You will be washing your hands, a lot
  3. You will be working with a bit of vinegar, by itself no biggie, but it adds up with the rest
  4. You will be using ground korean red pepper, a hell of a lot
  5. Your hands will hate you

Now, I thought I was tough. I work in an office but I got callouses on my callouses. I work in the garden w/o gloves, when I am physically able (read: not this last 18 months) I lift weights w/o them. I handle hot skillets and corningware without mitts.

Callouses will not help you. Got that? Your hands will burn as if you got caustic grout on your mitts. You cannot handle 3 cups worth of ground dried red pepper and not feel it later. Especially the webbing betwixt your fingers.

Use gloves if you can get them. I’m sure a lot of koreans down through the centuries have said much the same thing and then determined that nevermore would they make a load of kimchi without latex gloves. Powder-free latex gloves, of course.

Wash the bejeezus out of your hands afterwards if you don’t have gloves. Trust me, your nether regions, eyes, ears, and face will appreciate it. Your girlfriend will appreciate it. Perhaps your wife, too.

Use cutting boards and utensils that are still just fine if they are cherry red. The red pepper in kimchi will stain everything an off-red forever. More permanent than permanent marker is this stain. The wooden spoon I used for pushing the kimchi down into the jars with… it’s fire-engine red. Washing is pointless.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, my hands are starting to swell a bit or maybe it is just the skin is getting tight, but my fingers look taut and shiny, and feel tender – I’m off for the night. :)

Kimchi recipe and information may be found on this page – be patient, it is there…

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 31 other followers