When Life Gives You Lemons.

Found here:   http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/cave-johnson-combustible-lemons#.Th9cz4Lud8FFavorites:  “I don’t want your damn lemons” and “Demand to see life’s manager!”

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“You have 80% of the American people who support a balanced approach. 80% of the American people support an approach that includes revenues and includes cuts. So the notion that somehow the American people aren’t sold is not the problem. The problem is members of Congress are dug in ideologically.”  – President Obama speaking while in the grips of a full-blown psychotic break

No, what the majority of Americans want is for the US government be restricted to the same financial limitations that they are.  If you are in debt, accrual of more debt is not an option.  Things that you’d like to have must be cut – be it cable, internet, fancier food, pet grooming, going out to eat, new car

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Never Wash Fruit.

Update: I got a Winter Jacket.

No, not the wearable kind.

Jack-jack DaKatt was pawing at something on the couch tonight.  I thought “Idiot, you’re pawing at a piece of dried cheese.  Brilliant.  Just eat it already.”

Then the flash of yellow was more than that.

Having been stung a huge number of times once when I broke open a stump with a motorcycle footpeg, I can state with great firmness that I hate, no loathe, no… I despise yellowjackets.  I tossed the cat aside and did the drinking-glass-over-a-porn-mag… uh… over-a-Time-Magazine… uh, no, porn does sound better doesn’t it?  Don’t ask me why I had a Time magazine in my house.  I don’t want to talk about it.

Anyway, I put it outside in that state, glassed in and left it there.  It has been outside in Michigan winter weather for over three hours now.

Goes to show you that paper and dead-still air are really not bad insulators at all.  Brought it back in and dumped it unceremoniously on the counter to observe it (the Time Magazine stayed outside thankyouverymuch).  After two minutes it twitched and started going for my jugular so I put an impenetrable force-field of Ziploc ™ around it’s little wasp ass.

Now, dead seriously, I’m going to figure out the most awful way I can kill the little SOB.  I may even rig up a little pyre and stake and burn it.   Thou shalt not suffer a wasp to live. No, no… if I did all that Cruel Wife might think I was crazy or something and we wouldn’t want her to think that.  Must think of something more sane.

Do wasps have toenails?

****Why You Never Wash Fruit****

Cruel Wife picked up a pile of laundry on Sunday, just sweeping up everything in the area and washed it.

It included my heavy hooded flannel shirt/jacket/thneed thing.

She assumed that if I put it in the laundry pile, I must have gone through the pockets.  And I was dumb enough to set it there when I didn’t want it washed.  “I’ll just get that a bit later,” I said.

When she went to put the wet clothes in the dryer she discovered:

• A fountain pen
• A few quarters
• My blackberry
• Two shredded Kleenex ™
• My car keys
• And tobacco

Yes, she washed my good el-cheapo fountain pen.

What’s that you say?  She washed my BlackBerry?  Why, yes.  Yes, she did.

Note:  She heard something clunking in there  and said “What is THAT?”  and then said “Mmm.” and went upstairs.

Turns out they don’t like that much.  It says right on the box do not put BlackBerry in the washing machine.  Wash by hand using gentle detergents.

It still works.  Nothing was lost.  The only teensy-weensy problem is that it gets hot enough to fry teensy-weensy little quail eggs on it.

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The Bogus Rogue and Other Stories

Update: Bishop Elvis Smoking a Stogey in Vegas.  Everything gaudy hand-rolled into one picture.

(courtesy of Michal Kwolek Galeria – thanks Michal, great art!)

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All right, check out this title of a news article and tell me you didn’t click on it to read the story:

Boy doles out hundreds of fake $20 bills at school

Irritating to me is nowhere did it go into gory detail about how hundreds of kids beat him silly.

Now tell me you didn’t read it.

Neither did they mention the gunfight as they were trying to take the kid in.

What?  You still didn’t read it?  Good, because it was a real letdown.  Kid passes out fake money, the cops pick him up, he goes away.  Ho-hum.  Never get those minutes of your life back again.

By the way, an interesting article regarding currency and how it plays against the digital age is here, by a blogger named tino.  Interesting stuff.  He’s not arguing for being able to counterfeit $20’s but rather, now you can’t even use an image of one.  The article is not new (2004) but if you are like me, you’re learning something new every day.

Ok, every other day.

All right, once or perhaps twice a week.  Maybe.  Surely no less than once a month.

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Have to say that I was a bit surprised to read this in the BBC News.

Ok, so read this and tell me your first knee-jerk response:

The Environment Minister Sammy Wilson has angered green campaigners by describing their view on climate change as a “hysterical psuedo-religion”.

In an article in the News Letter, Mr Wilson said he believed it occurred naturally and was not man-made.

“Resources should be used to adapt to the consequences of climate change, rather than King Canute-style vainly trying to stop it,” said the minister.

Do you see why I was surprised?   We’re talking BBC News!   I mean really, you’d expect that article to lead in with the fourth paragraph first:

Peter Doran of the Green Party said it was a “deeply irresponsible message.”

That’s more like it.

But then BBC News shocked me again with this:

“The tactic used by the “green gang” is to label anyone who dares disagree with their view of climate change as some kind of nutcase who denies scientific fact,” he said.

The minister said he accepted climate change can occur, but does not believe the cause has been identified.

“Reasoned debate must replace the scaremongering of the green climate alarmists.”

Has the world gone insane?  That BBC would even print those statements is heartening and creepy at the same time.

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A Day in the Life of…

Huh.

My blog has been slow since I left/returned from vacation.  Either the hiatus busted the momentum thingy or something changed in my writing but hits are way down.

Ever have one of those days where you feel like you could have done something different, anything actually, and it might have been a better day?  You know… things like sell a kidney, win a free sandwich with the Subway instant-win game, gotten a pedicure, wormed the neighbor’s cat, jaywalked, made macaroni art…

It wasn’t a bad day, honest.  It was just a slow day after a week and a half of pressure to get some real-world data for a project, and today was flat.  Dull.  Listless.  It had all the excitement and spontaneity of a librarian convention in Nebraska.  It was like watching a 70’s gameshow re-run.

I did clean off a small corner of my desk though – which hasn’t happened in over a year – so I could put down a cup of coffee.  I actually scrubbed the surface a little bit with a napkin and some cold coffee.

I did find a really cool link.  Learned something.  Caught me off guard.  Like how to disguise an entire factory.

Deep pools are cool, too.

Some things however, have decreased the net value of my day.  Case in point – trash as art.

Negative?  Positive?  IMAGINARY?  You decide.  Loungin’ lizards.

Positive.  Definitely positive.  Positively alien but cool.  A city concept art piece. Project Indigo.

My God, the 70’s sucked.  This TV set just proves it.   As did BJ and the Bear.

Looks like when guns and pranks mix, someone is sleeping on the couch.

That’s it for tonight kids.  My clock done run down.  More tomorrow

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Oi. We’re home…

I feel like thrice-ground meat being poured into a sausage casing.  (Think “LiquidMeat“)

Flight was good, once Kap’n Kangaroo bounced us to our gate in Detroit.

Arrived on the tarmac with the tripartite requisite met for coming home:

I have a cold – a really bitchin’ lung-shredder of a cold

I strained myself lugging 400+ pounds of luggage around (strained everything, I think)

It is hot, humid, and we have no A/C for some reason known only to Forces of Evil (IRS, Obama, MDOT)

But we’re home.  My own bed, my own pillow, my fridge, my remote control, my riding lawn mower, and I can get back to kicking my ca… well, no, I can’t kick my cat anymore.  Poor little guy.  But I just looked and his gravestone is still in place, so the stone is heavy enough and I buried him deep enough to keep wild animals from snacking.  Now I must find a way to explain to my five year old why he isn’t here, when she notices.  Damn, damn, damn.

More tomorrow or tonight, depending on how I’m a-feelin’.

Drop me an e:mail if’n you’re out there.  I’ll be cruising the moronosphere, trolling for tidbits.  I’ve been tidbitless for so long….

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Mini-Post – Because That is All Jesse Jackson Deserves

NOTE: This is a mini-post because I don’t want to detract from the one below this “Why Iraq Had to Happen“. I feel that it is a very important post. This mini-post, however, I could not resist.

Man, for a reverend, he sure has “issues” – extortion, adultery, hatred, greed, pride… I am sure glad that public figures have not yet figured out that if you have a microphone on, you ought to still your tongue. It makes for great theater. I can’t wait to see Je$$ie Ja¢$on’$ apology. I guess HE isn’t qualified to give moral lectures to black folks – prolly just jealous.

In the NY Post:

WASHINGTON – In a shocking blast at Barack Obama that was caught on tape, the Rev. Jesse Jackson said, “I wanna cut his nuts out.”

He made the astonishingly vulgar remark as he accused the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee of giving moral lectures to African-Americans. [More…]

Aaaaaannnnnd the apology!!!

The Rev. Jesse Jackson is apologizing for disparaging remarks he made about Barack Obama’s relationship with African American church-goers, caught on camera during a break in a Fox News interview.

Those weren’t “disparaging remarks”, they were disturbing hateful remarks that if a white guy had said it, he’d be tarred, feathered, and castrated on the spot.

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Things Come to Those Who Wait

(The Home-made kimchi part of the post is a bit lower down, just after the paparazzi stuff…)

Why, there’s just nothing better than fresh paparazzo blood on the beach. It does my heart good to see this. In fact, I’d like to see more people go out of their way to smack a pap more often. These vermin are nothing more than stalkers and are given a pass because it’s “free speech”. My ass. Harassing people day and night is not free speech. It’s called being an ass, even if it is a bunch of actors getting abused.

Around 12 photographers were on the beach in Malibu this afternoon trying to get shots of Matty hitting the surf, when an all-out smackdown was laid on the pappers by turf-protecting surfers.

One pap was hit in the face and we’re told suffered a broken nose, while another was thrown into some rocks and had his camera smashed. McConaughey was not involved in the ruckus.

Police tell us a battery report was filed by one photographer and no arrests have been made.

Cops: Can you describe the perpetrator?
PaparASSi: Uh yeah, he was wearing a black neoprene johnny suit, had blonde hair, and he was really tanned. And he kept saying “Let me hit him again, dude.”
Cop: (puts away notepad) Well, we’ll get right on this and get back to you. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.

Update: More details on this celebrated event…

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Made some kimchi tonight. A word to the wise…

1. You are working with salt, lots of it
2. You will be washing your hands, a lot
3. You will be working with a bit of vinegar, by itself no biggie, but it adds up with the rest
4. You will be using ground korean red pepper, a hell of a lot
5. Your hands will hate you

Now, I thought I was tough. I work in an office but I got callouses on my callouses. I work in the garden w/o gloves, when I am physically able (read: not this last 18 months) I lift weights w/o them. I handle hot skillets and corningware without mitts.

Callouses will not help you. Got that? Your hands will burn as if you got caustic grout on your mitts. You cannot handle 3 cups worth of ground dried red pepper and not feel it later. Especially the webbing betwixt your fingers.

Use gloves if you can get them. I’m sure a lot of koreans down through the centuries have said much the same thing and then determined that nevermore would they make a load of kimchi without latex gloves. Powder-free latex gloves, of course.

Wash the bejeezus out of your hands afterwards if you don’t have gloves. Trust me, your nether regions, eyes, ears, and face will appreciate it. Your girlfriend will appreciate it. Perhaps your wife, too.

Use cutting boards and utensils that are still just fine if they are cherry red. The red pepper in kimchi will stain everything an off-red forever. More permanent than permanent marker is this stain. The wooden spoon I used for pushing the kimchi down into the jars with… it’s fire-engine red. Washing is pointless.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, my hands are starting to swell a bit or maybe it is just the skin is getting tight, but my fingers look taut and shiny, and feel tender – I’m off for the night. 🙂

Kimchi recipe and information may be found on this page – be patient, it is there…

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Give me some breathing room… I’ll post when I get my breath back…

To offset the huge steaming pile of depressing shite that I seem to have dredged up today, here’s a link that was wonderfully (and very timely) provided by our Weasel.

I give you the gift as it was given to me…

BaconHenge

brought to you by our friend… shown here as himself and his alter-ego…

More humor, weird link for today… here.

and… here.

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Great googley moogley!!

This, my friends, is what they call a living hell.

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All right, my breath came back only to be knocked clean out of me (with my stuffing) by the sheer idiocy of this kind of thinking. Makes me ‘shamed of having been growed up in Orygun. Thanks to The Dude, for passing this on.

MATTERS OF LIFE AND DEATH
State denies cancer treatment, offers suicide instead
‘To say, we’ll pay for you to die, but not pay for you to live, it’s cruel’

State officials have offered a lung cancer patient the option of having the Oregon Health Plan, set up in 1994 to ration health care, pay for an assisted suicide but not for the chemotherapy prescribed by her physician.

The story appears to be a happy ending for Barbara Wagner, who has been notified by a drug manufacturer that it will provide the expensive medication, estimated to cost $4,000 a month, for the first year and then allow her to apply for further treatment, according to a report in the Eugene Register-Guard.

But the word from the state was coverage for palliative care, which would include the state’s assisted suicide program, would be allowed but not coverage for the cancer treatment drugs.

“To say to someone, we’ll pay for you to die, but not pay for you to live, it’s cruel,” Wagner told the newspaper. “I get angry. Who do they think they are?”

She said she was devastated when the state health program refused coverage for Tarceva, the drug her doctor ordered for treatment of her lung cancer.

The refusal came in an unsigned letter from LIPA, the company that runs the state program in that part of Oregon.

“We had no intent to upset her, but we do need to point out the options available to her under the Oregon Health Plan,” Dr. John Sattenspiel, senior medical director for LIPA, told the newspaper.

“I understand the way it was interpreted. I’m not sure how we can lift that. The reality is, at some level (doctor-assisted suicide) could be considered as a palliative or comfort care measure.”

The 64-year-old Wagner lives in a low-income apartment in Springfield with her dog, the newspaper said.

State officials say the Oregon Health Plan prioritizes treatments, with diagnoses and ailments deemed the most important, such as pregnancy, childbirth and preventive care for children at the top of the list. Other treatments rank below, officials said.

“We can’t cover everything for everyone,” Dr. Walter Shaffer, a spokesman for the state Division of Medical Assistance Programs, told the paper. “Taxpayer dollars are limited for publicly funded programs. We try to come up with policies that provide the most good for the most people.”

He said many cancer treatments are a high priority, but others reflect the “desire on the part of the framers of this list to not cover treatments that are futile.”

Wagner, however, is ending up with the treatment needed when her lung cancer, in remission for two years, returned.

She reported a representative for the pharmaceutical company called and notified her the drug would be provided for at least the first year.

“We have been warning for years that this was a possibility in Oregon,” said the “Bioethics Pundit” on the Bioethics blog. “Medicaid is rationed, meaning that some treatments are not covered. But assisted suicide is always covered.”

“This isn’t the first time this has happened either,” the blogger wrote. “A few years ago a patient who needed a double organ transplant was denied the treatment but would have been eligible for state-financed assisted suicide. But not to worry. Just keep repeating the mantra: There are no abuses with Oregon’s assisted suicide law. There are no abuses. There are no abuses!
source: http://wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=67565

All that said, I’m a firm believer in a person’s right to die. I’m not talking about suicide, I’m talking about a fundamental right to say “I choose not to suffer any longer.” There’s a difference. A big difference. Someone says “Well, you can’t make that decision, because you’re depressed.” Well, goddammit, who the f*** wouldn’t be depressed if all they faced was suffering day after day after day with no hope of a normal life? Huge difference between that and the vast majority of needless suicides that happen for preventable reasons.

Paradoxically, in the context of the above story, even Oregon’s Right to Die laws are overly restrictive in that (unless money is involved, apparently) you need to be terminal within six months and find two doctors who are willing to put their careers on the line. The US doesn’t quite recognize Oregon’s laws, unless I misunderstood it. So much for federal government only being given powers expressly granted by the States…

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Not Stellar Dive Buddy Material

If it saves on the cost of the annulment maybe he found it worthwhile, but as a diver myself, and the way he described it, he’s a confessed murderer right there. Everything in your training argues against what he did.

U.S. diver accused of honeymoon killing: An American tourist was charged with murder in Australia on Friday for allegedly drowning his wife during a honeymoon dive on the Greet Barrier Reef.

In the interviews, Watson said his new bride apparently had trouble a few minutes into the dive, panicked and clutched at his mask, pushing it off his face. He described seeing her, with her eyes wide and arms outstretched toward him, sinking into the deep.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25276933/from/ET/

His mask may have been off, but if he could see her wide eyes, he could see well enough to save her.

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A Shameless Theft

To borrow heavily from Weasel – steal, actually:

On weekends lemur resteses.

In other words, I could use a few days off. I’m beat. Whipped. Zonked. Zapped. Folded. Spindled. Mutilated. I’m just going to post some old cynical stuff I wrote a long time ago for kicks.

My “leave me alone” sign for my office door:

Attention:

If you are bleeding to death, being eaten alive by wild goats, or on fire, send me an e:mail and I’ll see what I can do. Otherwise, if you see my door closed it probably means that I am not currently feeling receptive to:

Small talk, chit chat, jokes, innuendo, blunt character assassinations, vulcan mind melds, gossip, company representatives, currency exchange, Dixie Chicks, cookie sales, tongue bifurcations, charitable institutions, religious tracts, tummy tucks, snide comments, free shampoo samples, games of Twister in the meeting area, hot dog eating contests, David Blaine stunts, hoola hoops, body piercings, live food, Tim Robbins, brain surgery, gardening techniques, botox injections, Oprah Week, limburger cheese, fungal infections, cretins, poisonous snakes, ingrown toenails, insurance salesmen, stories of fallen arches, whiny requests, vomit, or poodles (of any kind).

This list is by no means complete and is a work in progress, use it as a set of  loose general guidelines.

I am receptive to: chilies (of any kind) or recipes involving spotted owls or snail-darters.

Ok. That pretty much puts it right on the table, doesn’t it? I thought so. Problem was, it was not universally loved and the one man who signed my paychecks was unmoved by my whining, so down it went. Same thing went for my work e:mail signature block:

DISCLAIMER: The information contained in this e-mail message may be privileged, confidential and protected from disclosure. If you are not the intended recipient, any further disclosure, use, dissemination, distribution, ingestion, exposure, printing, photographing, smoke-signaling, astral projecting, or copying of this message or any attachment is strictly prohibited, strongly discouraged, frowned upon, illegal, unethical, immoral, and just plain wrong and may result in your being fed to giant goat-eating cockroaches, diseased skunks, or rabid squirrels (depending on availability). If you think you have received this e-mail message in error, please e-mail the sender using a doubly-encrypted and digitally signed message with not less than two references (and an affidavit) at the above address and permanently delete the e-mail using at least three of the following – DoD approved wipe of your entire hard drive, disposal of your entire computer via thermite ordnance, trash compaction (3 passes, please), degaussing of exposed hard-drive subcomponents in not less than a 4 Tesla B-field, AND complete behavioral and memory reconditioning at any US Gov’t approved CIA safehouse. Although this e-mail and any attachments are believed to be free of any virus, bacteria, fungal infestations, prions, waxy buildups, otherwise unclassified pathogens, neurotoxins, mutagenic/teratrogenic/carcinogenic compounds, anaesthetics, stimulants, aphrodisiacs, antidepressants, asphyxiants, combustibles, explosives, blemishs, secretions, or other defects that might affect any computer system into which they are received and opened, it is the responsibility of the recipient to ensure that they are free of all forms of harm (debilitating or otherwise) and no responsibility is accepted by anyone, really, or any of their affiliates for any loss or damage arising in any way from their use.

You may have noticed a recurring theme: goats.

My suspicion is that it either came from Dr. Seuss OR from Berke Breathed. Either one is a badge of honor since they influenced my thinking greatly.

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Gas Prices Adjusted for Inflation

A friend just forwarded to me a great graphic that is good for a talking point. While I would give him credit, I may only refer to him as “The Dude”. He does not drink white russians. Or have a rug of any kind.

Safe to say that this might just be a banner year in revenue for the states who tax a percentage of every dollar’s worth. So while politicians bitch, don’t you believe it for a second – it helps them offset their inability to behave competently with respect to bloated budgets. Ever watch a magician perform? You are looking where he wants you to look. This is not conspiracy theory – the states are filling their coffers – but it’s up to us to make sure that changes, if only we weren’t such strong believers in entitlement.

(click for larger graphic)

(source: http://www.inflationdata.com/inflation/images/charts/Oil/Inflation_adjusted_gasoline_price.jpg)

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To help focus on something other than the apathy, here’s a link to a healthy dose of Dr. MicNinja.

Below is a neutered teaser from that series to convince you that you must go see the Doctor (McNinja)… (click on it) it’s just one of about forty bazillion pages to this series, where a return home to see the parents is not always easy.

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Good news, or at least it is initially comforting. Go to DPUD’s post titled “Senator Jim DeMint creates conservative PAC“

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And, in all likelihood, the Meeting of the Morons may not happen in Michigan, because we’re all going to die.  (sigh)  And I was looking forward to smoked dead animal flesh.  Damn.

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Updated the Puncture Chronicles

Update discussing the inside scoop on enzyme therapy/replacement. For a real eye-opener take a gander. Link at the top of this page.

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Now for some fun…

The Clintons do NOT keep an Enemies List. Their cadre of Clintonista sycophants does that for them and so does NYT.

The news media have already focused on some list entries, including the online gossip purveyor Matt Drudge (who had the nerve to show up at Mrs. Clinton’s departure speech on Saturday), Todd S. Purdum of Vanity Fair (the author of a recent profile of Mr. Clinton) and the cable network MSNBC (whose hosts Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann are charter list members, Clinton associates said).

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Has This Happened to You?

Several times now, I have had someone look at me with a startled look and say:

You’re a die-hard Conservative? Wow. But you seem so nice…

The take-home on this I guess is that they expect a conservative to drink babies’ blood and laugh when whole families are torn apart by something as simple as rabid wolves.

Cruel Wife had a great rejoinder:

You are Liberal? But you seem so smart…

I’m working from home today and won’t post much but I will update the Acupuncture Chronicles this evening. Today was… interesting.

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Free speech is wonderful, but exercising your asshole opinion at a graduation so you can take the spotlight during someone ELSE’S recognition of achievement makes you doubly and asshole. So, hey, Brian Williams, this one is for you (pig).

Many thanks to Brent Baker for posting this – go hunt him down and read more of his stuff. Embedded in Baker’s account, here’s a funny one that the Moronosphere will laugh at:

Williams scolded bloggers for writing about themselves

Yeah, blogging sure has been terrible for it’s ability to keep the media honest. Damn us! We’re BASTARDS. And now, the article.

NBC’s Williams Tells Grads U.S. Broken, ‘Need You to Fix the Country’

By Brent Baker | June 9, 2008 – 21:30 ET

Delivering the commencement address Sunday at Ohio State University in Columbus, where we was awarded an honorary Doctor of Journalism degree, NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams implied America is broken as he told the graduates: “We need you to fix the country.” That clip, squeezed in between Al Gore at Carnegie Mellon and Martin Sheen at Notre Dame, aired as part of an annual compilation of commencement advice run at the end of Monday’s NBC Nightly News. NBC also aired this from Williams: “We need you all now to step up. And every adult in this place has every faith that you’re up to the job.”

Video of a commencement story on the Web site of NBC’s Columbus affiliate, WCMH-TV, featured a longer version of the line from Williams: “We need you to fix the country — and I’m sorry to ask this of you.” In another soundbite aired by the local station, Williams paraphrased Bill Clinton: “There is nothing wrong with America that someone from Ohio State can’t fix. Go get them OH!”

[UPDATE, 10:30 PM EDT: I found full video on MSNBC.com, and the entire address isn’t as political as the “we need you to fix the country” comment suggested. Williams, however, apologized: “On behalf of my generation, I’m so sorry, the Internet is so cool we got sidetracked.” He urged the graduates to “pick one area” and do something about it, recommending they “start with climate” since “something tells me this may be a challenge in the years ahead” to “find a way to get around without fuel in our tanks that comes from an enemy of this country.”

Echoing a theme of those calling for “change,” Williams pleaded:

We won’t see an election like this for decades again in this country. We are at a crossroads. They don’t get more important and it’s so important that you all get involved. Put your generational stamp on American politics.

Williams scolded bloggers for writing about themselves, exhorting bloggers to talk “about all of us” since “we need to start thinking of us as the collective, the United States that we used to know.”]

It may well be that polls show many Americans think the nation is heading in the wrong direction, but does that mean it is appropriate for a journalist — in a national election year — to declare that America needs to be “fixed,” clearly suggesting the country is broken?

I looked around the Web extensively for more of what Williams said, June 8, in order to get a fuller quote to put it all in context, but came up empty. The Columbus Dispatch‘s Monday story didn’t quote Williams, the Ohio State commencement page does not have text of the prepared remarks, the OSU press release page offers nothing, the student newspaper hasn’t published since June 2 and the WOSU-TV channel 34 site has a page with video highlights of past commencements, but nothing yet from the latest one. And Williams has not posted anything about it on his Daily Nightly blog.

UPDATE: The portion I transcribed from the Flash video posted on MSNBC.com of nearly the entire June 8 remarks:

…I come here today with a request for the Class of ’08: We need you to fix the country — and I’m sorry to ask this of you. And I’m deadly serious and we really do. I am 49 and on behalf of my generation, I’m so sorry, the Internet is so cool we got sidetracked. I can burn an hour on Perez Hilton like that. And I know I speak for a lot of you: WebMD, very cool, except anything I’ve ever punched in comes back “thyroid cancer.”

The Internet is fantastic and it takes way too much of our time, so, with apologies, we need you all now to step up and every adult in this place has every faith that you’re up to the job. You are today, as of today, as fearsome a weapon as the one they assembled during the Manhattan project in a similar place — Soldier Field up in Chicago. You are the most fearsome weapon in the world. You are students in the United States of America armed with a newly-minted college degree from the Ohio State University.

So pick one area: energy, politics, diplomacy, science, education, military, transportation. Start with climate. Something tells me this may be a challenge in the years ahead. Tomorrow’s predicted high for Columbus is 220 degrees.

Energy policy: Can you please help us find a way to get around without fuel in our tanks that comes from an enemy of this country?

We can no longer fly dependably, commercially point to point in this country…

Politics: Pick a campaign. Campaign for McCain, campaign for Obama, campaign for the Libertarian, for the Vegan Party, but volunteer, get out there and campaign for someone. We won’t see an election like this for decades again in this country. We are at a crossroads. They don’t get more important and it’s so important that you all get involved. Put your generational stamp on American politics.

Dial in and pay attention, and I say that as part of a group we all have to start thinking and acting as one. There are, as of this week, 117 million blogs in the United States. One more time: 117 million blogs. And I stand here today as one of them. And what do most of us bloggers talk about? Us. And the problem is we need to start talking about us, all of us. We need to start thinking of us as the collective, the United States that we used to know. It’s going to require a lot of work.

I am proud to say that in my life and my job I am able to spend a lot of time with American in uniform. They are magnificent and would so enjoy this here today….They too, as you are, are the very best of your generation. Think of them when you think you’re having a bad day….Will all veterans of the U.S. armed forces please do us the honor of standing up in place?…

—Brent Baker is Vice President for Research and Publications at the Media Research Center

Note: The only reason I will paste text in verbatim from someone else’s blog is if I am reasonably certain that people will be interested in that person’s site and visit them more (or for the first time). This material is important enough that “seeding” like this is worth doing. Important? Yes, because it highlights how many levels at which the indoctrination is occurring.

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Meeting of Minds (a very loose definition)

Over at Bar Slaves, Old Iron was momentarily lucid, asking any MoronBloggers who were interested in meeting near Detroit (ish) to pipe up on his page to express interest. He then rapidly lost lucidity and degenerated into animal noises and gagging sounds. I guess it was pretty gross. Women and small children were removed from the scene in shock and grown men were seen openly weeping.

But someone slipped him a pint of Guinness or something, his limbic system rebooted, and he was right as rain. Inspirational, I tell you. The picture below shows a normal brain, and next to it is the size of that same brain after repeated abuse and pickling in alcohol. Note that it is the same in every way (sort of – perhaps instead of firm tofu consistency it is more like skim ricotta cheese) but shrunk. This is due to the skull-rending forces of the cranial fluids within the brainpan the day after. I no longer drink but assure you this is true. More than once I was required to work when the night before was a pub crawl that had lost it’s brakes (and sanity), and my brain was bruised from rattling around like Lotto balls inside the ol’ noggin.

(click the pic, it seems to get bigger if you do)

Go read about it the meeting of the minds. Have fun. Poke that old bear with a stick.

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