Old Taglines

New page to dump old taglines for this blog.

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• In the blog, no one can hear you scream.
• I usually keep my sadness inside where it can quietly fester as a mental illness.  –  Leela, in Futurama
• “It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. Then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar. Is any of this getting through to you?” – Fry, in Futurama
• It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son — and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. – Helen Rowland (1875-1950)
• It’s a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what. The weird thing about telling someone they’re dying is it tends to focus their priorities. You find out what matters to them. What they’re willing to die for. What they’re willing to lie for. – House
• We are selfish, base animals crawling across the earth, but ’cause we’ve got brains, if we try really hard, we can usually aspire to something that is less than pure evil. – House
• If we are the only intelligent life in the universe, at least there’s a finite number of idiots. – Steven Coallier
• If you want to stop car accidents, take out the air bags and attach machetes pointing at their throats. Everyone will drive three miles an hour. – House
• Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock. –  Ben Hecht (1893 – 1964)
• “I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent’s youth and inexperience.” – Ronald Reagan
• “Our bodies break down, sometimes when we’re 90, sometimes before we’re even born, but it always happens and there’s never any dignity in it. I don’t care if you can walk, see, wipe your own butt. It’s always ugly. Always. You can live with dignity, we can’t die with it.” – House, Pilot Episode
• “Well, like the philosopher Jagger once said, ‘You can’t always get what you want.'” – House, Pilot Episode
• Words to live by: Semper Vigilo, Fortis, Paratus, et Fidelis!  (Always Alert, Brave, Ready, and Faithful)
• In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. – Mark Twain
• House: “When you think about it, the more I mock you, the more it proves my respect for you. “
• “And humility is an important quality. Especially if you’re wrong a lot…. Of course, when you’re right, self-doubt doesn’t help anybody, does it?”  – House
• Welcome aboard the good ship Asskisser. Nice day for a sail! Pucker up, me ‘earties! – House
• The notion of picking one time of year to be decent to other people is obscene because it’s actually validating the notion of being miserable wretches the rest of the year. – House
• “There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it’s only a hundred billion. It’s less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.” –American physicist Richard Feynman (1918-1988)
• Arrogance has to be earned.  Tell me what you did to earn yours. – House M.D.
• Dr. Wilson: You don’t like yourself. But you do admire yourself. Its all you’ve got so you cling to it. You’re so afraid if you change, you’ll lose what makes you special. [pause] Being miserable doesn’t make you better than anybody else, House. It just makes you miserable.
• “It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,  It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,  The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,  It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.”
• Simon: What happens if they board us?     Zoe: If they take the ship, they’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we’re very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.  – Zoe in Firefly, referring to the Reavers and their predilictions
• …the fact that the sexual pleasure center of your cerebral cortex has been over-stimulated by spirochetes is a poor basis for a relationship. Learned that one the hard way. – House M.D.
• “The urge to save humanity is always a false front for the urge to rule it.” -American writer H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)
• “The only thing you know is that I’m a genius who got a dog to pee in your toilet. You don’t know how I did it, or more interestingly, where I peed.” – House M.D.
• “If you want to know the weather your askin’ the wrong Phil. Its gonna be cold, its gonna be grey, and its gonna last you the rest of your life.”  – Phil the Weatherman in Groundhog Day
• This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You’re hypocrites, all of you!  – Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
• In those moments where you’re not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don’t get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda… coulda… shoulda. – Columbus, Zombieland
• All right, I am often brash, rude, and brutally direct. Someday I’m going to die and I don’t have time to toe-dance around the periphery of hatred. – Mel Brooks
• i’m not the smartest or the best looking but i am smarter than anyone better looking than me, I am better looking than anyone smarter than me, and if someone is smarter and better looking than me, I can kick their ass. – unknown, but I wish it was me that said it
• So, now, I just keep my mouth shut and pet my chihuahuas. – Mickey Rourke
• Someone in America made the fatal mistake of eating a bad hamburger, which was infected with Mad Cow. Instead of slowly killing them as usually is the case, the virus mutated, and caused massive brain swelling in its victim in a matter of hours, which in turn created a homicidal maniac with a hunger for human flesh. Thus began the zombie apocalypse in Zombieland.
• What is best in life?: “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of their women.”
• The sound of Forgiveness:  Screaming and then Silence  – Carl the Llama (with a hat)
• You cannot possibly be as stupid as you act.” “…Ken if I vants to be!” – Master Payne & Oggie in Girl Genius
• “Oh grow up.  If porn was bad why would there be so many nuns in it?”  – House
• “My philosophy is that if you want to efficiently get the nutrients out of leafy greens, eat a rabbit. Or a cow. They’ve already processed out the stuff your body doesn’t need.” – RabidAlien over at Sithy Things
• A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally – Oscar Wilde
• It’s ‘revenge’ and it’s best served cold.  But it can be easily reheated, in the microwave of evil!   – Megamind