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Posts Tagged ‘anniversary’

Yes, it’s a lite post tonight.  It’s like lite beer with extra estrogen.

Not that there’s anything wrong with estrogen, but there generally isn’t a sense of having consumed something lite when you drink a real beer.  No, I’m not drinking beer.  I’m posting almost about nothing, though, so it’s “Post Lite” night.

The only thing I was going to post was really to link to an article by Slate, which predicts 2012 in 2011 if the government defaults.  Essentially the world will stop spinning and we will all fly off into space or something.

No, when our economy collapses and society breaks down it will be over something more real than that.  It’s coming, but I don’t think it is coming because a bunch of idiots are playing a game to see who blinks first.

Oh, the other gifts on the “Standard Schedule of Anniversary Gifts” that Aggie swears her husband should never see… (first sixteen are found here)

17th:  Vinyl

18th:  Ink

19th:  Plexiglas™

20th:  Straw

21st:  Aloe

22nd:  Terra Cotta

23rd:  Teflon™

24th:  Film

25th:  Silver

26th:  Soy

27th:  Balsa

28th:  Sponge

29th:  Cardboard

30th:  Soup

31st:  Terry Cloth

32nd:  Suede

33rd:  Glue

34th:  Down

35th:  Burlap

36th:  Wood Grain

37th:  Glycerin

38th:  Wicker

39th:  Soil

40th:  Ice

41st:   Paprika

42nd:  Spandex

43rd:  Foil

44th:  Tissue

45th:  Cork

46th:  Velcro™

47th:  Rope

48th:  Cast Iron

49th:  Frosting

50th:  Gold

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According to the Happy Anniversary card Cruel Wife gave me, the “Standard Schedule of Anniversary Gifts”…

1st: Paper
2nd: Plastic
3rd: Caulking
4th: Talc
5th: Duct Tape ™
6th: Styrofoam ™
7th: PVC
8th: Gelatin
9th: Latex
10th: Naugahyde ™
11th: Rayon
12th: Spackle ™
13th: Fiberglass
14th: Oil
15th: Salt
16th: Cortisone

I got a card (the aforementioned one) with a small tube of cortisone inside.  Funny, I thought I’d be getting something like “Terry Cloth” (#31).  It just seems like so much longer than 16 years.  The fun kind of longer.  Yeah.

Plus, I got a bouquet from Cruel Wife. Because I’m not a fan of flowers (read: I hate them) she did a manly-man’s bouquet.

Yes, that is a “vase” made of a full roll of duct-tape, a Red Bull can (shredded), a full can of Red Bull, pork rinds, lots of dead cow in various forms, and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Cheezy Poofs.

And gummy bears, cheezits, bbq potato chips, and Habanero Slim Jims.

If I understand it right people got a laugh out of what she was doing during lunch (building me a bouquet).

My present to her?  I shared my teriyaki jerky, a slim jim, a bunch of gummy bears, and some pork rinds.  I know – I’m a keeper, right?

I’ll be honest, for some reason every year except one I think it is on the 25th.  I don’t forget, I just get the day wrong, which ought to count for something.   And before you bash me silly on that issue, she forgot it entirely one year, until she showed up at home and asked why I had the fancy dinner all made up from scratch.

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