Posts Tagged ‘birthday’

Time is short.

Lemurita turned ten today.  It’s hard to believe that ten years ago I was a drooling idiot staring at a squalling pink little face and totally clueless about what to do.  Now she’s ten and I am still totally clueless.

It is also surprising to me that while she has aged ten years I have aged at roughly double that rate.  Maybe that surprises no one who has kids.

I can say that she might have it in her to be a stone cold killer.

Her mom made some chocolate no-bake cookies and I asked Lemurita if I could have two.


“What?  You wouldn’t give your dear old dad two chocolate no-bake cookies?”

“No.  You can have one and a half.”

So I turned on the emotion, cranked it up to 11.  “Puh-leasssse, Lemurita?  Pretty please?  Not even for your dear father who loves you so very much?”

“One.”  And she pinned me with a cold mackerel-eye stare.

I grinned at her pleadingly and worked up the welling of a tear in the corner of my eye. (I am not a sociopath… stop judging me!†)

Cold mackerel eyes… “One.

She’s good, that girl.

Source:  Sithy Things – the “judging” part, that is.


Trying hard to not get angry about the steady systematic erosion of the 2nd Amendment but this really does kind of steam my clams.

The most recent liberal reinvention, in the style of “global warming” the way it morphed into “climate change”, the notion of the 2nd Amendment as purely what it says – the right to keep and bear arms period – is now being re-branded as the idea that the 2nd Amendment’s only valid purpose is to allow hunters to retain their firearms heritage.

Think anyone should agree with that?  Oh, I think not.

For the record, if you think that so called “assault weapons” are not properly called defensive weapons, then I bring your attention to a General Service Administration request for bid issued this week, to supply the Department of Homeland Security with 7,000 5.56x45mm NATO weapons. These weapons look like the much-maligned AR-15, except that the DHS request is for “select fire” weapons — machine guns. That notwithstanding, the very weapons the Left classifies as “assault” are classified by DHS as “Personal Defense Weapons,” which are “suitable for personal defense use in close quarters.”  – Mark Alexander, Patriot Post

Durbin (below) talks as if he is utterly shocked at the concept that a nation of those governed by consent could possibly be uncomfortable with the inability to maintain that arrangement.  Apparently Durbin is either a piss-poor student of history or several standard deviations below average intelligence, or he is both.

[Senator Dick Durbin] lamented that some of his constituents in Illinois told him, “It’s not just about hunting, it’s not just about sports, it’s not just about shooting targets, it’s not just about defending ourselves from criminals … we need the firepower and the ability to protect ourselves from our government, from our government…”

It is about defending ourselves – our lives, our liberty, and our beliefs.  That is what makes us what we are.  And yes, most definitely we must protect ourselves from our government.  Lament away… Dick.

See Ralph the Circus Bear in Liberty Meadows.  He sees the light.  This is how we ought to think when we go to counter those who are dismantling the US and remaking it into a communist paradise.  I’m not saying we do actual violence but take no prisoners is how we should approach the “discussion”.

LamentationsMay I suggest you all run right out and find a copy of any of Frank Cho’s Liberty Meadows?  Brandy is in it… she’s got the hawtness of Agatha from Girl Genius if not the spark.

Need more?  Mad Cow Disease doesn’t just mean PMS anymore…  here’s Frank Cho’s h/t to Misery with guest star Mark Trail.


3D printing is so cool.  Note the Mad Cow in the middle.  Found it at VinylPulse.  NO IDEA what else is there so browse at your own risk and don’t come to me if you find something objectionable.  It could be a perfectly family-friendly place or not, just don’t blame me.  Most excellent 3D model.  Awesome actually.



h/t to The Dude for his find of… zombie snowmen.



I’m convinced that while God has a wicked sick sense of humor sometimes, there also must be sometimes a protectiveness of some children.  But let’s not get hung up on philosophical/religious arguments at the moment.  The point is… look at the link and the freaking x-ray.  Holy carp.

Girl shish-kebabs brain with pencil, no lasting damage.


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A Post On Flying. Sorta.

Short post.  Picture.

Reminds me of my middle nephews’ 8th birthday party.


Attack of the Flying Squirrels

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Franken-boy turned six recently.  The wrap-around in the title has more to do with a python wrapped around a limb this weekend than any intellectual exercise.

Some weekends we usually go to this small coffee shop a half hour away and hang out with my buddy from the UofM.  About a month ago we were there and we had someone give us a flyer to a reptile zoo.  We offered to the boy the chance to have his birthday party with a bunch of snakes and lizards or Chuck E. Cheese’s.  I would argue that either place gives you snakes and lizards but the zoo has higher-quality ones.

Here is the question:

Do six year old boys like birthday parties if they involve snakes and lizards?

Do frogs have watertight assh*les?  Of course they do!  Are bears Catholic?  Does the Pope crap in the woods?  Do Occupy America losers sniff their own farts?

We got the party favors, Cruel Wife baked a snake-cake, we brought in pop, and we made a pizza run partway through the party.

What was there?  Glad you asked, because that is what I asked.  There were:

  1. Pythons
  2. Chameleons
  3. Tortoises
  4. Bearded Dragons
  5. Blue-Tongued Skinks (minor disappointment on my part when I learned that it was skinks and not skanks, but in the context we were working in, skinks really made more sense)
  6. Boas
  7. Rhino Iguanas (will charge anything but didn’t use a single credit card while we were there)
  8. Monitor lizards
  9. Crickets (food)
  10. Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches (maybe food)
  11. Scorpions†
  12. Tarantulas‡
  13. Brazilian Pink Salmon Bird Eating Tarantula (say that even once really fast, I dare you)
  14. Uromastyxes
  15. More criters
  16. Still more critters
  17. And more critters

† My least favorite animal  (tied for first place with earwigs)

‡ My second least favorite animal

The coolest part was near the end where they brought out some of the animals and let the kids hold them.  Blue-Tongued Skinks are cool.

The boy grinned from ear-to-ear with a big cheesy grin when he got to hold a real-live snake.  He was in awe when a 20 foot python hung down from it’s branch and was 6 inches from the boy’s nose (separated by glass).  Boy and snake stared at each other for minutes and minutes, which is pretty good for an autistic kid.

Meanwhile we were monitored by the Monitor Lizard who stood on it’s hind legs and monitored us as we went through the exhibits.  He did his job well.


I saw the pain clinic people again today.  I have officially given in and reluctantly agreed to higher doses of painkillers.  After months of the worsened state of discomfort from the herniated discs I gave up, especially since the neck and head are killing me (figuratively) and the arm and hand don’t feel all that much different from being scalded with hot water.   The only thing this afternoon that kept me from chopping my arm off at the elbow was the knowledge that it wouldn’t accomplish anything.

No, painkillers don’t help all that much for chronic pain but they take the sharp screaming edges off.

Friday is the meeting with another surgeon, and hopefully this guy will have a better solution.

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Update:  You missed the boat. It was 3:53pm and she sheepishly said “Happy Birthday”.

LK: No biggie, I don’t really make that big a deal of it.  I was just guessing how many hours it’d take you…

CW:  … to bring it up?

LK:  Yup.


Let’s take a pool and see how many hours from right now it takes Cruel Wife to realize that she forgot my birthday.  This isn’t even the day so there’s no graceful save on this one.

I’m not ticked, and simple fact is, I hate celebrating my birthday.  It’s not a “getting old” thing because there is NO sense in getting uptight about it.  Happens whether you like it or not.

I just find it strange to get excited on one particular day when we kind of should (in the background) celebrate someone’s continued existence daily.  No, it’s not a Zen thing or hippie-dippie new age thing.  Think of the House quote:

The notion of picking one time of year to be decent to other people is obscene because it’s actually validating the notion of being miserable wretches the rest of the year. – House

House means it about Christmas, but hey, insert any arbitrary occasion you like.

This will be fun!  Anyone care to hazard a guess?

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This and That.

I saw a FreakingNews.com contest yesterday.  It mentioned how it is the 60th birthday of the AK-47.  The contest was to take an AK-47 and do whatever your heart desired.

So I did.


Click it and it'll get bigger.

And over at Moonbattery, Van Helsing posted something a while back that I just love.  My God, why didn’t I think of that one?  It is beautiful.  I have this nasty suspicion that ultimately the end results are quite similar to JonesTown kool-aid.  (those of you who are younger, go look that up)


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