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Posts Tagged ‘chopper’

I’ve been playing Portal 2.  Impeccable game.  Absolutely top-notch and worth every single penny if you had to dig in public hotel and restaurant couches for six weeks to scrape up the cash.

All right, I’ve been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back.

GET MAD! I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?!

DEMAND TO SEE LIFE’S MANAGER! Make life RUE the day it thought it could give CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS!

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I’M THE MAN WHO’S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that’s gonna BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN!

Cave Johnson, Portal 2

I hesitate to include the next link.  If you are a person who doesn’t like spoilers (it only kind of does) then don’t watch it.  Ignore the purple elephant.  Just don’t think about it.

But the tune and lyrics and singing… they just stick in your brain and don’t go away.  I’ve had it in my head for three and a half hours now.

Aperture Science

We do what we must

because we can.


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Last night Cruel Wife said we can fly the chopper again!  Hee hee!  No, that’s not a euphemism.  I’m talking Battlefield 2.

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My “guy parts” are up near my collarbones in sympathy.  Keep watching until the replay at the end.  That poor bastard.  It’s moments like that where a person really does wish to just be shot so they can forego the experience.


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Tonight, for the first time, I set up a server for Battlefield 2, loaded a map, and headed for a chopper.

Up to that point, I’ve done all that a million jillion times.  You have to practice a lot.

But tonight was… unusual.

I got in my AH-1Z attack helicopter: 

I throttled her up, and my gunner got in.

Cruel Wife was my gunner, playing Battlefield 2.  I was on my computer, she was on hers, and we were honest-to-goodness flying.

Before long she was taking out targets of opportunity with the 20mm Gatling Gun and TV-Guided Hellfire Anti-Armor AGM’s.

If I weren’t married, and you weren’t married, I would ask CW to marry me.   – LC Aggie Sith

Note to Aggie… If I wasn’t married to her, and you weren’t married to her, I’d marry her.

It was so gosh darned cool.   Yeah, I know she probably won’t really get into the game.  Hokay, but for 15 minutes or so, coming up over a hilltop to rain fire down upon others was just pure bliss.

Note:  I’ve had to practice LOTS to become a decent pilot (The Dude is an excellent gunner, IMHO).  No, the controls are not not not realistic.  But then again, neither is battle, so let’s just get over that and move on.  That said, flying a helicopter is not easy – easy to start, easier to die, difficult to master, and flying in battle while looking good doing it (so your gunner doesn’t hate your guts) – all without dying… that’s not easy.  Really.  And no, I never fly in 3rd person mode, ever.  I think it’s a pansy-weasel way to fly.  (No offense to Weasels)

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