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Posts Tagged ‘cockroach’

Thanks to the tireless efforts of Cruel Wife (who must put up with me or bury me – she’s on the fence right now), LC Aggie Sith (who pities me), and Steamboat McGoo (who mocketh me, and rightfully so), a brand new unique old idea has come to life.

Yes, ’tis arrogance that has caused me to put newbie-style watermarks on the image but dammit, I have slaved over this particular one, so I’m doing it and it’ll go up on Zazzle tomorrow night – or tonight if I’m feeling feisty enough.

The bib-t-shirt design with the classic lobster-bib look is on my slate for tomorrow night as well.

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Real Clear Politics had this:

President Obama, with a coarse voice, warned a crowd in Ohio: “They’re fighting back. The empire is striking back. To win this election, they are plowing ten’s of millions of dollars into front groups. They are running misleading negative ads all across the country.”

It could easily read this way:

President Obama, with a hoarse voice from too many White House parties with Kwame Kilpatric told a crowd in Ohio:  “We’re losing it.  We tried to create a progressive empire by plowing billions and trillions of dollars into special interest groups and selected recipients to maximize our chances of getting re-elected.  And we went too far.  We’re machine-gunning ourselves in the feet with every move we make all across the country.  But we’ll win because we’re better than Republicans and <i>their</i> front groups.”

 

And on Fox News today:

Americans are so “scared” they’re not thinking straight about the upcoming elections, President Obama said over the weekend, as he sought to explain why voters are turning to Republican candidates.

The president, speaking at several rallies and fundraisers as part of his final get-out-the-vote stretch, said Republican candidates are “playing on fear” and suggested voters are falling for it. He said Americans have every reason to be worried, but lamented that “facts” aren’t doing his party any good this year.

Scared?  Oh yes, of Democrats.  Not thinking straight?  Never been clearer, Obama.  We’re crys-tal.

Of course facts aren’t doing your party any good, Obama!  Because the facts are this:  You screwed the pooch.

Getting more than a little tired of the Dems blaming everything (arrogantly) on ignorant masses, confusion, fear, or Republican lies.  Sorry, but when a laundry list of ills from every source and every direction presents itself… you can’t explain them all away, some must actually be true.

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Terra-Lobster™

Forget the title above… it’s been changed.  Everything is in motion.

Here’s the second cut at a product graphic for Tenement-Lobster™ (Dr. Lemur’s, of course).


There was a sign on a barn some distance from where I growed up that had been around for as long as any could remember:  “Dr. Pierce’s Pleasant Pellets – for Your Liver“.  It always fascinated me how the old ads always had “Dr. (somethingorother)” in them.

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I’ve been throwing words out there fairly fast and I need to take a break from writing for a day or so.

Steamboat McGoo has been advertising my “Know your roach” t-shirts and found Joe Sixpack and Susie Homemaker on the street at large at least get a good laugh. And if that is as far as it went, I’d be happy.  Getting someone to laugh these days, or even smile… is a big deal.

But there’s another idea that has been around for some time – The Dude and I were part of something great years ago.  It was the birth/formulation of the idea that since cockroaches are near to lobster on the evolutionary chart (h/t to Alton Brown) why not use cockroach meat to make faux lobster?

Thus was born Mocktails™, Cock-Tails™, or TerraLobster™.  Different people have different ideas for the best name.

This is your chance to throw in your opinion for the name of such a product.

Here’s the poll for the day:

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Well, tomorrow is the day I’m both longing for and dreading.  Didn’t realize how much the RF treatment actually helps kill the headaches until the nerves decided to grow back.  So while the whole damn thing hurts considerably life does get better when the nerves die again.

I’m just glad that the sedative they give you keeps you from remembering it.  The one time I can recall anything from the procedure, it wasn’t fun.  I know, I’m a wuss… had a compound fracture of my arm once and my pain tolerance was high then.  Maybe it’s not now, maybe my body doesn’t tolerate this type of pain and it’s very real pain.  All I know is that it FEELS real and by golly if it sucks then it is what it is.

Here’s the Chillipository™ graphic – much reduced from it’s 4500×6000 original format (550MB graphic file).  Yes, Aggie I’m looking into how to sell it as a print, same for the steam condom.  And the ChiliHead graphic.  And the Silly Negroes graphic and the Cockroach Cutting Diagram (below) – those are trial balloons as I have no idea if they have any appeal at all.

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Just try and tell me this isn’t a cool tattoo…

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this is low-res...

Note that I am mocking Harry Reid and Obama only.

this is low-res...

Note that I am mocking cockroaches, which I have this strange fascination with…

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Update:

Funeral home cuts legs off corpse to fit casket.

Can you imagine the conversation afterwards?

I specifically asked you if it was closed or open casket!  You said it was closed!

Lesson learned?   BREAK the legs instead.

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If only they had found just 99, they could have stayed open. Bummer.

100 roaches found; restaurant shut down

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Speaking of cockroaches… Ahmadinejad says Holocaust a big deception.

Can someone tell me why it is suddenly so important to befriend muslims in the region even though they typically support tyrannical and despotic leaderships?  Oh, I know!  It’s our “practicing christian” president who suddenly finds pride in his muslim name now that he’s elected.  Along with his “finally proud of America on my own terms” wife, Michelle, they’re turning over new leaves.

In reference to race issues as pertaining to blacks, a gentleman on NPR known only by the name McCoy said:

“The United States has not changed at all since the 1800’s.”

Surely you must be joking.

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Obama’s speech in Egypt was chilling.

As a student of history, I also know civilization’s debt to Islam. It was Islam – at places like Al-Azhar University – that carried the light of learning through so many centuries, paving the way for Europe’s Renaissance and Enlightenment. It was innovation in Muslim communities that developed the order of algebra; our magnetic compass and tools of navigation; our mastery of pens and printing; our understanding of how disease spreads and how it can be healed. Islamic culture has given us majestic arches and soaring spires; timeless poetry and cherished music; elegant calligraphy and places of peaceful contemplation. And throughout history, Islam has demonstrated through words and deeds the possibilities of religious tolerance and racial equality.

Huh.  That’s funny.  It hasn’t given us diddly or squat for hundreds of years.  As far as the rest… who do you think you’re kidding?  What history are you a student of, really?

I have come here to seek a new beginning between the United States and Muslims around the world; one based upon mutual interest and mutual respect; and one based upon the truth that America and Islam are not exclusive, and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles – principles of justice and progress; tolerance and the dignity of all human beings.

Seriously?  With sharia law allowing stonings?  Beating of women?  Disfigurement?  Beheadings?

For human history has often been a record of nations and tribes subjugating one another to serve their own interests.

It has always been subjugation throughout history.  Until the rise of the West in the latter part of the 20th century, that is.

As the Holy Koran tells us, “Be conscious of God and speak always the truth.” That is what I will try to do – to speak the truth as best I can, humbled by the task before us, and firm in my belief that the interests we share as human beings are far more powerful than the forces that drive us apart.

Sorry, but a christian is not going to refer to the Koran as “The Holy Koran”.

Moreover, freedom in America is indivisible from the freedom to practice one’s religion. That is why there is a mosque in every state of our union, and over 1,200 mosques within our borders. That is why the U.S. government has gone to court to protect the right of women and girls to wear the hijab, and to punish those who would deny it.

Those words were chosen deliberately.

Because we reject the same thing that people of all faiths reject: the killing of innocent men, women, and children. And it is my first duty as President to protect the American people.

Where is he getting this stuff?

The Holy Koran teaches that whoever kills an innocent, it is as if he has killed all mankind; and whoever saves a person, it is as if he has saved all mankind.

Wow.  I’m glad they live by the Koran, otherwise women would be stoned to death for being anywhere a strange man, women may be given 200 lashes for being raped, honor killings of daughters might occur, and blasphemous remarks might be punishable by death.

And we have Osama bin Laden’s support, I see.  Bin Laden calls for long war against “infidels”.  If he wasn’t so dedicated to peace we might have a problem without a solution.

Unlike Afghanistan, Iraq was a war of choice that provoked strong differences in my country and around the world. Although I believe that the Iraqi people are ultimately better off without the tyranny of Saddam Hussein, I also believe that events in Iraq have reminded America of the need to use diplomacy and build international consensus to resolve our problems whenever possible.

As we can see that diplomacy was working so well with Saddam, is with Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong Il, Russia, and Venezuela.

So America will defend itself respectful of the sovereignty of nations and the rule of law. And we will do so in partnership with Muslim communities which are also threatened. The sooner the extremists are isolated and unwelcome in Muslim communities, the sooner we will all be safer.

Yup, let’s just all hold our breath and think “Kumbaya” really hard while the “moderate muslims” jump right up and flush those bad guys out.  Obviously they’ve just been waiting for our positive imagery.

On the other hand, it is also undeniable that the Palestinian people – Muslims and Christians – have suffered in pursuit of a homeland. For more than sixty years they have endured the pain of dislocation. Many wait in refugee camps in the West Bank, Gaza, and neighboring lands for a life of peace and security that they have never been able to lead. They endure the daily humiliations – large and small – that come with occupation. So let there be no doubt: the situation for the Palestinian people is intolerable. America will not turn our backs on the legitimate Palestinian aspiration for dignity, opportunity, and a state of their own.

Need it be pointed out that Arabs drove the Palestinians out and towards Israel?  I guess so.  While we are so focused on Palestinians as victims, let’s not forget that this is a culture that danced in the street and fired weapons in the air, cheering, as they received news about the WTC destruction on 9/11.  I cannot recall a single instance where Americans have cheered at the misfortune of others.

Later he forgets that history has shown otherwise…

I know there has been controversy about the promotion of democracy in recent years, and much of this controversy is connected to the war in Iraq. So let me be clear: no system of government can or should be imposed upon one nation by any other.

I don’t know – Japan did rather well.

Likewise, it is important for Western countries to avoid impeding Muslim citizens from practicing religion as they see fit – for instance, by dictating what clothes a Muslim woman should wear. We cannot disguise hostility towards any religion behind the pretence of liberalism.

Okay.  So I couldn’t pray or display a crucifix in public because that is offensive.  A Hajib is a very visual practice of religion.  How are they different?

The NY-Post had something to say, as they accused him of “buttering up” Cairo:

The problem with talking so much is that you eventually just start babbling and saying a bunch of stuff that makes no sense.

At one point, Obama fretted over the rise of new power that, to the horror of civilized people, exudes an obsessed and twisted view of “sexuality” and “mindless violence.”

Islamo-fascism?

No, the Internet.

They guy is confronting one of the most evil and relentless mindsets in the history of man and he finds room in his big address to whine about the Internet — by far a greater tool for freedom than anything else.

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Update: My buddy EW1(SG) just gave me hell for grossing him out with cockroaches. Oh, this will really strain a friendship, but what the hell, no guts no glory. I can’t claim credit on this one but I can give it where it is due. Go to this site and look at the T-SHIRT.

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Sometimes, to cheer a friend up, you gotta gross ’em out.

Said friend related a story explaining his hatred of roaches. In his small room they had a habit of getting inside the TV, then doing a good job at self-immolation on a HV connection.

My version of blowing sunshine up someone’s butt required this response.

Look at the bright side:

1) You have a bugzapper

2) You have incense

3) Both were for no more price than that of watching TV

My post for tonight is the tool I used for the gross-out. It is something I cooked up – the cutting diagram for the American Cockroach, Periplaneta americana. I assume it is called the American Cockroach because they are so well suited for the BBQ.

It was buried in the UN-Bug Eating Post, but here is the TerraLobster™ (AKA “CockTails”) concept along the same lines.

cocktails-brochure (PDF FILE)

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UN Promotes Bug Eating

foxbugs-edible-water-bugs.jpgUh, yum.

Thanks to FoxNews for that tidbit. Fortunately, I have the market cornered on bug-eating, commercial-scale.

Imagine if you will, constant reader and beloved customer, a product that fits all the basic needs, where no part of the animal is wasted, using free-range cockroaches (humane and free)… cocktails-brochure.pdf

– LK

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