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Posts Tagged ‘comedian’

Awww… shit. (can I say that on a blog?)

Man, this is a sad day. This is the guy who taught me the meaning of the word “irony”, which seems to be used in every way but the proper one. He made me laugh even as my parents recoiled in parental concern over his language. He was parental taboo.

George Carlin, 1937-2008

But dammit, he was funny and original. He was incredibly sharp and had a mind that never quit moving.

Well George… we’ll miss you. Let’s all remember him by saying some words that can never be said on TV….

Song Lyrics: I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I think is important. I say they’re my work, they’re my play, they’re my passion. Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. And then we assign a word to a thought (POP) and we’re stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them. There are some people that are not into all the words. There are some people that would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7 of them you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 …to 7. They must reallllly be baaad. They’d have to be outrageous to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you 7! Baaad words! That’s what they told us they were, remember? “That’s a bad word!” (Wahhhh!) No bad words. Bad thoughts…bad intentions…and words.

You know the 7, don’t you, that you can’t say on television?
Shit, ****, ****, ****, **********, ************, and ****, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that’ll infect your soul…curve your spine…and keep the country from winning the war. ****, ****, ****, ****, **********, ************ and ****, wow! …And **** doesn’t even belong on the list! It’s such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? “Hey, ****, come here, man. Hey, ****! Hey ****, meet Toots. Toots, ****. ****, Toots.” It sounds like a snack, doesn’t it? Yes, I know, it is, right, a snack. But I don’t mean your sexist snack. I mean new Nabisco ****! And new Cheese ****! Corn ****-n, Pizza ****, Sesame ****, Onion ****. Tater ****. “Betcha Can’t Eat Just One.” That’s true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I’m not completely insensitive to people’s feelings. I can dig why some of those words got on the list, like ********** and ************. Those are…those are heavyweight words. You know. There is a lot going on there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. I mean, they’re just busy words. There’s a lot of syllables to contend with. And those Ks, those are aggressive sounds. They just jump out at you man. **********, ************, **********, ************! It’s like an assault on you, you know? So I can dig that.

Now we mentioned **** earlier of course and 2 of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are **** and ****, which go together of course, but forget that. A little accidental humor I threw in there. **** and ****. The reason that **** and **** are on the list is that a long time ago, certain ladies said, “Those are the 2 I ‘m not going to say. I don’t mind **** and ****, but ‘P’ and ‘C’ are out. ‘P’ and ‘C’ are out.” Which led to such stupid sentences as “Okay you *******, I’m going to tinkle now.”

And, of course, the word ****. The word **** – I don’t really, well that’s more accidental humor, – I don’t wanna get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean I think the word **** is a very important word. It’s the beginning of life, and yet it is a word we use to hurt one another quite often. And people much wiser than I have said, “I’d rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love than 2 people trying to kill one another.” And I, of course, can agree. It is a great sentiment, I wish I knew who said it first and I agree with that but I like to take it a step further. I’d like to substitute the word ‘fuck’ for the word ‘kill’ in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. “Okay, Sheriff, we’re gonna **** you now! But we’re gonna **** you slow.” So maybe next year I’ll have a whole ******’ rap on that word. I hope so.

There are 2-way words. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any circumstances. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny. I mean, it’s just impossible. Forget those 7, they’re out. But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words. Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? “…And the **** crowed 3 times” “Hey, tha **** crowed 3 times! Ha ha ha ha. Hey, it’s in the bible. Ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for Curt Goudy to say “Roberto Clemente has 2 balls on him.” But he can’t say “I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don’t you? He’s holding them. He must’ve hurt them, by God.” And the other 2-way word that goes with that one is prick. It’s okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger but don’t finger your prick”. No, no!

©1972 Dead Sea Music Inc., BMI

For those who want one-stop-shopping, here are the seven words, rendered only partially sanitized:

  1. Sh-t
  2. P-ss
  3. F-ck
  4. C-nt
  5. C-cks-cker
  6. M-th-rf-cker
  7. T-ts

Obviously the list has been carved into over the years since this first came out, but it was revolutionary at the time.

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Cool! History preserved…

Maryland attic holds 400 years of documents

Papers provide a firsthand account of life from the 1660s through WWII

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