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Posts Tagged ‘data’

I was in a technical presentation where the guy was presenting some pretty interesting information on stuff that people with lives probably don’t know or care about.

But I was getting into it.

And in my peripheral vision, suddenly the Taiwanese guy next to me… I saw his head droop forward.

I said to myself “Goddamnit, not another guy going to fall asleep and snore!  Not again!”

Yesterday in another talk being given by a guy I’ll call Bruised Fruit (because people nearly ran from his presentation at the intermission, it got so strange, and he was rightfully embarrassed – I was one of the ones to run, by the way) and the guy two chairs over was snoring repeatedly, woke up time and time again, only to nod off again.  I wanted to smack him with my notebook.

Fast forward to today.  Now I was again distracted.  I lost the train of thought required to follow a huge gnarly partial-derivative equation with lots of arcane notations…

I steeled my resolve, stirred my brains, and girded my intellectual loins, metaphorically speaking.  I was ready to push through this irritating little man’s distractions.

And out of the corner of my eye I saw a flash and a streak as he drooled into his lap.

Not a rustle, not a peep, not a snore, but there was this neverending river of drool collecting in this guy’s lap for the next three or four minutes.  It was awful but I could not avoid having my attention drawn to this embarrassing spectacle.

I couldn’t move without being a distraction to those around me.  I didn’t want to draw anyone else’s attention to Slime-Boy.  I did not want to get even close to him to nudge him for fear of being slobbered on.  So I cleared my throat – once, twice, and a third time loud enough to distract five or six people.

Slime-Boy gave a start, realized that he was wet from the chin, down his shirt, and up to and including a pool of saliva in his lap.

He whipped out a handkerchief and started mopping up his mess.

I sighed a sigh of relief, able to go back to equations and preliminary results of the experiment the speaker had done.

And Slime-Boy’s head slumped forward, he sighed once, and drooled into his lap again.

I just got up and left.  It was a lost cause.

Gosh I want to go home.  I’m going to miss the good seafood – I’ve eaten enough fish, calamari, crawfish etouffee, shrimp, and clams to tide me over (ha ha) for a good long while, but I will miss it all the same.

I miss tripping over my own cats (hotel cat room service is expensive).  I miss getting irritated by my own kids (plenty of other people’s irritating kids here).   I even miss Cruel Wife’s idiosyncracies that normally age me prematurely a handful of days at a time.  Trashy women aren’t sufficient.

Just a funny side note… One of they guys in the tech exhibit hall told me that a number of geeky-looking fellows were busted over in the red light section, on their knees and handcuffed along with some unreported number of hookers.  He was surprised because he said it didn’t look like that kind of neighborhood.  I doubt it was anyone from here but it was an interesting anecdote.  (What?  Someone has a bridge to sell?)

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Update 2:  I. Am. In. Awe.  Over at Moonbattery is an awesome kickbutt satire magazine cover graphic.  Oh golly, is it good.

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Update:  NOT WORTHLESS.  You know how Obama keeps placing the blame for everything at Bush’s feet?  He ought to clam up – a lot of people are pining for Bush which would argue that not everyone is convinced a lot of issues don’t lie directly at Obama’s feet:

Perhaps the greatest measure of Obama’s declining support is that just 50% of voters now say they prefer having him as President to George W. Bush, with 44% saying they’d rather have his predecessor. Given the horrendous approval ratings Bush showed during his final term that’s somewhat of a surprise and an indication that voters are increasingly placing the blame on Obama for the country’s difficulties instead of giving him space because of the tough situation he inherited. The closeness in the Obama/Bush numbers also has implications for the 2010 elections. Using the Bush card may not be particularly effective for Democrats anymore, which is good news generally for Republicans and especially ones like Rob Portman who are running for office and have close ties to the former President.

Thanks for the news, Ben Smith.  This ought to cheer many.

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THIS may be the most worthless ever but the title of this post refers to stuff after this graphic.  I’m probably going to catch hell for it, but satire is still free, right?

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Oh, wow.  Oh geez.  Oh boy.

So…  ****ing…  What?

Gosh, Breitbart, glad you gave us yet more useless data and some scientists figured this one out:

If the data devoured in the United States last year were converted to text there would be enough books to bury the country under a pile seven feet (two meters) deep, according to a study released Wednesday.

Researchers at UC San Diego.  I would like to know if one cent of our tax dollars went to this utterly worthless information.  In the days of video on-line the information is neither surprising nor significant.

Seriously, when a study is reduced to a visual sound-bite like burying the country under seven feet of books, words can’t express how useless it really is.  Aparalyzed 18″ tail would serve me better than that knowledge.

Yeah, I’m in a foul mood today.

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For the reader’s convenience, here is a link to a summary of the ClimateGate revelations.

http://wattsupwiththat.com/2009/12/01/lord-moncktons-summary-of-climategate-and-its-issues/

PDF document in great detail: 

Not so fast.  It snowed in Texas this morning.  AGW is saved!  Because as Ex-Pres Clinton said:  Warming Causes Cooling.

As it begins to melt, if it melts faster, it could change the composition of the north Atlantic and interrupt the normal flow of currents, and ironically global warming could make some places colder.  – WJC

Don’t look for any admissions of being plain wrong or apologies for being twits, just expect leaders, politicians, and smug moonbat liberals to just fade away, slinking into the woodwork and shadows.

… want to make one more remark…

Obama’s science Czar, Holdren…

The adviser, John Holdren, said scientists generally are capable of defensiveness, bias and “misbehavior.” But he said the meaning of some of the statements in the emails isn’t clear, and that the significance of others has been exaggerated.

Human activity is “beyond any reasonable doubt” the primary cause of warming temperatures, Mr. Holdren said.   – source:  WSJ

I have to add one remark that the WSJ just can’t, in following up on Holdren’s remark.  Scientists like himself are also capable of being dead wrong and assholes.

Just ’cause you’re saying it is a non-issue, Holdren, doesn’t mean it will become one.

We sure know where the Obama camp lives – with Browner and Gibbs calling it a non-event as well.

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