Posts Tagged ‘daughter’

Cruel Wife said to my daughter as they were getting ready for her bedtime “Don’t forget to turn off the game controller.”

Sighing loudly, “Oh, okayyyyy…”

“Yes,” I said, “You should always remember to turn off the controller or there’s the possibility that three kittens could die if you don’t.”

“Daaaaa-aaaad, kittens won’t die if I don’t turn off the controller.”

“They might!  Is that really a risk you’re willing to take?” I hollered after her.

Cruel Wife said reproachfully “A girl should always be able to look to her father as being a source of truth and trust…”

I glanced up “Yes, she should.  Sad that she doesn’t, isn’t it?”

Later, as we were reading Harry Potter for her bedtime story she saw a picture of a popping soap bubble on my computer.   “OH!  Print that!  Print that!”

“Girl, if we printed every picture you liked your mom would run out of ink and the printer would die.  Best you just print it on your brain and let your friends at school look in your ear to see ’em.”

“Daaaaa-aaad!  You can’t put pictures on your brain and people can’t look at them!”

In my best dissenting voice I stated, “Oh yes, you can.  Look in my ear.  Get right up close and see.”

She moved within inches of my ear.  “Dad, I can’t see anything.  I can’t see your brain.  No one can see it without an x-ray.”

“Maybe you just can’t see it because I loaned it out or something.”

“Dad, you can’t loan people your brain,” she said in an exasperated tone.

“Well, The Butcher of Lansing asked me just the other day, ‘Can I borrow your brain for a minute?’, so I think it perfectly possible.”

And from the background, with her trademark Betty Rubble laugh, was the sound of Cruel Wife enjoying the conversation…  I live for conversations like that with my daughter.


And now I shall draw your attention to something culinary.

Cool, right?

Known by many names, including hundred-year/thousand-year/millennium egg, a century egg is a preserved chicken, duck or quail egg. A paste made from tea water, clay, lime, ash and salt is packed around the eggs, then they are rolled in rice hulls to keep them from sticking together and left to sit for 3 years.

The result is a greening-brownish egg that smells like flatulence and urine, which is hopefully the only reason why it is called “horse urine eggs” in some Southeast Asian countries.

I found that on a blog entry “18 Stinky Foods from Around the World“.  Sounds scrumptious.

What was peculiar is how many of them I either like and use, or am interested in trying.  A few would make me gag if they were within ten feet of me.  Guess which ones.

This also reminds me… tonight my daughter tried and likes fish sauce by the spoonful (I use Squid brand fish sauce, but to each his own), even straight… she makes me so proud.  She put it on the sesame-ginger noodles I made tonight.  I told her it probably wasn’t the best combination but then again, it’s not a revolting combination either, and gave her the caveat that fish sauce doesn’t taste anything like what most Americans expect food to taste like.  Didn’t faze her a bit.

I will start her on vietnamese food soon then bounce over to korean for bi-bim-bap and chap-chae then back to thai and get her interested in son-in-law eggs (one of my favorites although it takes relatively more time and less people to eat it all).

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Update:  The Senate Sergeant-at-Arms  warns congressional members to stay away from Drudge because they might get viruses.  This is the same hysteria-mongering that gave us “Reefer Madness” and “Blood on the Highway”.

Another e-mail from a separate office warned that staffers who had visited the Drudge Report or White Pages had experienced viruses on their PCs.

“Please avoid using these sites until the Senate resolves this issue,” the e-mail read. “The Senate has been swamped the last couples (sic) days with this issue.”

Correlation does not equal causation.  My guess is that the more likely culprit is the sheer amount of fetishist Tranny-Love pr0n being purveyed by our elected leaders and their cadre of lackeys.

As Drudge himself says, this sounds political.

But the Drudge Report suggested that politics might be behind the warning, noting in an original story that the e-mail came as the “health care drama in the Capitol reaches a grand finale.”

The Drudge Report noted that it served more than 29 million pages Monday without an e-mail complaint about “‘pop ups,’ or the site serving ‘viruses.'”

“The site was seen 149,967 times since March 1st from users at senate.gov and 244,347 times at house.gov. [10,825 visits from the White House, eop.gov]” the Drudge Report wrote.

“The Systems Administrator may want to continue taking her antibiotic until the prescription runs out.”


My girl is seven years old.  We do art together, we eat maraschino cherries together, eat hot-dogs and onion rings together, we talk about how tasty baby animals are together.  We watch SpongeBob, Dirty Jobs, and Phineas and Ferb together.  We make fun of critters with stinky feet and stinky butts (like dogs, for example) together.

Nothing special tonight. The dog is a vector graphic from scratch. Wah-hoo.

What father is against connecting with his little girl however he can?  Soon enough she’ll be totally alien to me so I’m enjoying every moment of it now.

I bent down to kiss her “goodnight” on the top of her head just as she jumped up with a huge spring in her legs and her head slammed into my jaw just under the chin.  Now, I’ve been hit at least that hard by fists many times before but usually it was when I was drunk.  Here, I’m on painkillers.

Let’s just say I got a two-for-one on this.  A jarring to the head (jawbone connects to the head-bone…head-bone connects to the… neck-bone) and a crack to the chin.  Damn if my jaw, face, and head/neck don’t hurt!  Well, hell, my neck already hurt but now my jaw does, too.  Swollen and all throbby-like, too.  The fact that I’m still feeling this on the meds tell me just how awesome of a hit that was.  Luckily I’m not known for having a glass jaw.

She immediately said “Sorry!  Sorry!  Sorry!” and ran out of the room.  I’m standing there holding my jaw and muttering “god-DAMN!” and she comes running back into the room going “Sorry!  Sorry!  Sorry!” and hands me something.

She had run out to get the little “Finding Nemo” kid-sized ice-pack out of the fridge.  Holds it out to me and looks up and says “Sorry it’s kind of warm…. I have a head-ache” and rubs her head where we hit.

So… if you want to connect with your daughter, take my advice:  Go get some onion rings at a Coney Island or something.

Update:  2:17am and the damn thing still smarts.  This is ridiculous.  Let it be known that even as girls, women are dangerous.


By the pricking of my thumbs, something Wiccan this way comes… for your perusal, Elphaba.


Will a lava lamp work on Jupiter?

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Ok, I’ll get the whine out of the way first.

Pain-wise it was a terrible weekend.  Bad.

Enough said.

The first good part of the weekend was hanging with my daughter today.  I was working on a piece of vine for stationary.  GirlHead, who is seven and already shows all the signs of being a very good artist someday, came up and said “You need to change that color.”  So I started asking her what she’d do next.  Pretty soon what had been a simple ivy vine without leaves was tweaked and leaves added and color changed…  here’s the upper left corner of the stationary where she took the flow of the design, and where I’m keeping it.

She had it looking better than I did…

The second good part of the weekend was that my friend (the uber-smart PhD lady) came out and took me and Cruel Wife to sushi lunch yesterday.  Yes, I was bummed that her significant other could not come, as she is back home still recovering from a very serious condition but on the mend.  It would have been way cool but there will be other trips.  They are two of the best scientists to work for – period.  You say to them “Gee, I really don’t know that I’d do it that way.”  Normally a PhD would say “Eh.  Do it anyway.”  But no, they’ll ask why you feel that way and listen.  They might decide to do it their original way anyway, but as often as not will say “Let’s give that a try instead.”  I’m not used to PhD’s that value an engineer’s gut feelings.


So we had a huge sushi lunch.  I had a Godaiko roll – it had salmon and tuna (hamachi) which are two of my favorites.  Cruel Wife got a sushi lunch – a spread of multiple things including the ubiquitous California roll and another nigiri-style dish with eel (unagi).  Sushi-Q got both maki and nigiri sushi and I cannot for the life of me remember what they were.  They were all fantastic and we shared them around.  The kids were at home with the sitter and so we spent an hour and a half just tasting, savoring, and pausing to enjoy the food.  If one is going to ingest high levels of mercury, one should enjoy it.

While we ate, we talked about work (which is what geeks do), motorcycles, California, and whatever came to mind.

After, we stopped off at work and showed Cruel Wife the project that has been consuming my life and will for a while yet.

Then we went home and got ready for dinner.  Sushi-Q left work after several hours and drove out to our house and we hung out again.  I pulled the smoked pork off the smoker – it had gone for 15 hours, just sweating it out in applewood smoke and steam.  I made some couscous and some rice and there was corn on the cob, too.

We talked and drank tea and discussed archaeology, food, dogs, remodeling, and even the pitfalls of camping and in lieu wiping one’s hindquarters with poison ivy accidentally (and how that takes months to heal from).

It was just a pleasure talking about whatever came to mind and it felt strange to not have your guest’s eyes glaze over and roll back in his/her head when something gets real geeky and technical.  The kids loved having company, too.  And the dog, Zoe-pup, was eating the attention up big-time.

First weekend in a long time where I felt like I had a weekend.  I didn’t know you could hurt like hell and still have a good time, it’s been so long.


Hoyer and Pelosi get closer to see if it is Reid's farts that smell so rancid or just the man himself...

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HERE is a guy who I’d say deserves to be given a little something – not because he is entitled, or a victim, or clamoring… but for his amazing attitude and unwillingness to victimize the pilot.

Dong Yun Yoon, 37, lost his wife, two baby daughters and mother-in-law after a Marine Corps fighter plane clipped a tree and plummeted into houses about two miles from base. The pilot safely ejected and was rescued hanging by his parachute from a tree.

“I pray for him not to suffer for this action,” Yoon said at a news conference, according to The Los Angeles Times. “I know he’s one of our treasures for our country.”

Several houses caught fire. Two homes were incinerated in the crash and three others were damaged.  (Source:  FoxNews – MORE)

On the opposite (dark) side of the spectrum (moon) we have the persuasive (coercive) methods (tactics) used in questioning (interrogating) prisoners (animals).

Finding it hard to tell where I’m toeing the line there?  Good.

Music is not just an escape after all, and not all music is meant to soothe the savage beast.

It’s all about creating an intense feeling of dissociation from one’s self.  And they do it so well.

Funny, all the songs they selected… I’d be saying “All right, bro!  Crank it to 11!”  Until they got to Sesame Street or Barry Manilow and I’d cave within 50 minutes.


Fair warning… I am in a FOUL mood.  If you want fluffy warm puppies, you won’t find them below….

Over on FoxNews, they have this little thing called “You Decide” and today’s question was “Should the US Gov’t Bailout the Auto Companies?”

Good question.  The real surprise is the range of intelligence from high to positively microbial.

This is supposedly from a college student:

Comment by [rhymes with “KokomoKevin”] December 10th, 2008 at 1:49 pm

For all you older folks out there, im not nieve i see whats going on sticking the youth of America with your problems which for some reason you cant fix im a college junior and its not wise to piss off your children who will eventually be running the country, its sad that old incompetant people are ruining my future. For shame on all of you for voting for idiots who know nothing and shame on all of you for sweeping your problems under my rug.
For someone who had lived in a town called Kokomo in Indiana which has 3 Chrysler transmission plants and a Delphi plant I can tell you what first needs to go…The Unions of these companies are ridculous in Kokomo all you have to do is somewhat graduate high school and have a father, grandpa, or uncle who use to work at Chrysler to get a job there making an ungodly amount of money for basically pushing a button, meanwhile my parents who went to college, mothers a nurse and father owns his own buisness, they make far less than the average Chrysler employee. Furthermore I believe that apparently these behemoth trucks and cars with 9 cylnders are not what people want to spend 40 to 50 thousand dollars on maybe they need to make smaller gas efficent cars and if possible made in America and to do that Government needs to stay out of everyones buisness and cut the taxes these companies have to pay. These are just ideas from a college junior who sees the world crumbling before his eyes. Its sad that old incompetant men are ruining my future.

Well thank you, rhymes-with-uh… Kevin.  That was very… thoughtful and it must have taken a hell of a long time to write all of that  in crayon before having mommy type it out.  Please tell her that she could use a remedial typing class – she’ll know what I mean.

I will say this, and heed it well:  Your so-called image that you convey with bad spelling and crappy grammar is doing far more to sink your naive future than “us old people”.

You may even have the brightest idea in the world and it will be flat out ignored if you are a dolt when trying to convey it.

So sit up straight, stop texting and sleeping in class, wipe the drool off your chin, have a little respect for your elders, and one thing more… learn some humility by going out and working for a living before opening your mouth.  Obviously what you are doing so far isn’t working for you because you sound like a punk-ass kid – got it?


Lemur King


Perhaps the cardinal needs to work on his own impure thought life?  Notice how the news articles never mention that?

SANTIAGO, Chile (AP) – Madonna is causing “crazy enthusiasm” and “impure thoughts” on her first concert visit to Chile, a prominent retired cardinal complained on Wednesday, as he paused in a tribute to a late dictator to denounce the pop star. (link)

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