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Posts Tagged ‘die’

Cruel Wife said to my daughter as they were getting ready for her bedtime “Don’t forget to turn off the game controller.”

Sighing loudly, “Oh, okayyyyy…”

“Yes,” I said, “You should always remember to turn off the controller or there’s the possibility that three kittens could die if you don’t.”

“Daaaaa-aaaad, kittens won’t die if I don’t turn off the controller.”

“They might!  Is that really a risk you’re willing to take?” I hollered after her.

Cruel Wife said reproachfully “A girl should always be able to look to her father as being a source of truth and trust…”

I glanced up “Yes, she should.  Sad that she doesn’t, isn’t it?”

Later, as we were reading Harry Potter for her bedtime story she saw a picture of a popping soap bubble on my computer.   “OH!  Print that!  Print that!”

“Girl, if we printed every picture you liked your mom would run out of ink and the printer would die.  Best you just print it on your brain and let your friends at school look in your ear to see ’em.”

“Daaaaa-aaad!  You can’t put pictures on your brain and people can’t look at them!”

In my best dissenting voice I stated, “Oh yes, you can.  Look in my ear.  Get right up close and see.”

She moved within inches of my ear.  “Dad, I can’t see anything.  I can’t see your brain.  No one can see it without an x-ray.”

“Maybe you just can’t see it because I loaned it out or something.”

“Dad, you can’t loan people your brain,” she said in an exasperated tone.

“Well, The Butcher of Lansing asked me just the other day, ‘Can I borrow your brain for a minute?’, so I think it perfectly possible.”

And from the background, with her trademark Betty Rubble laugh, was the sound of Cruel Wife enjoying the conversation…  I live for conversations like that with my daughter.

****

And now I shall draw your attention to something culinary.

Cool, right?

Known by many names, including hundred-year/thousand-year/millennium egg, a century egg is a preserved chicken, duck or quail egg. A paste made from tea water, clay, lime, ash and salt is packed around the eggs, then they are rolled in rice hulls to keep them from sticking together and left to sit for 3 years.

The result is a greening-brownish egg that smells like flatulence and urine, which is hopefully the only reason why it is called “horse urine eggs” in some Southeast Asian countries.

I found that on a blog entry “18 Stinky Foods from Around the World“.  Sounds scrumptious.

What was peculiar is how many of them I either like and use, or am interested in trying.  A few would make me gag if they were within ten feet of me.  Guess which ones.

This also reminds me… tonight my daughter tried and likes fish sauce by the spoonful (I use Squid brand fish sauce, but to each his own), even straight… she makes me so proud.  She put it on the sesame-ginger noodles I made tonight.  I told her it probably wasn’t the best combination but then again, it’s not a revolting combination either, and gave her the caveat that fish sauce doesn’t taste anything like what most Americans expect food to taste like.  Didn’t faze her a bit.

I will start her on vietnamese food soon then bounce over to korean for bi-bim-bap and chap-chae then back to thai and get her interested in son-in-law eggs (one of my favorites although it takes relatively more time and less people to eat it all).

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Of Nazis, Kittens, and Surfing

In a shameful display of blog-whoring, there is a new blog titled “Nazi Surf Kittens Must Die”  (just think NSKMD, sort of like XKCD only different)

It is a no-pictures blog dedicated to quotes, wordsmithing, and insane utterances found in comments to blog posts wherever they may be found.

Think of it as a verbal mementos box.

It’s also meant to be short utterances (when possible) and rated “PG”.

Note:  Link added after original posting after oh-so-Mr.-Sarcastic Mitchell corrected the error of my ways.

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All Whites are Racist.

Update:

A commenter today said in response to my posting (below) that I should stop acting stupidly.  He’s right – I must BE stupidly.  It will carry a horrible and steep price though…

SpareTheKittensFromStupidPeople

Well Don H., I hope you are happy.

**** Now, on with the post. ****

All whites are racist.

Or is it racist to say that?

Ex-President Carter, who is probably the most useful idiot of our times, now tells us that roadblocks to Obama’s healthcare proposal is motivated by racism, at least in part.  An overwhelming part.

carter-a useful idiot

Carter - a useful idiot.

I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he’s African-American,” Carter told “NBC Nightly News.” “I live in the South, and I’ve seen the South come a long way, and I’ve seen the rest of the country that shares the South’s attitude toward minority groups at that time, particularly African-Americans.”

“That racism inclination still exists, and I think it’s bubbled up to the surface because of belief among many white people — not just in the South but around the country — that African-Americans are not qualified to lead this great country. It’s an abominable circumstance, and it grieves me and concerns me very deeply,” Carter said.

What bothers me is that his accusation precludes me from having legitimate concerns.  I disagree so by default the cause of my dissension is racism, which you can deny until you’re blue in the face but those so inclined will never look past the declaration of your bigotry.

Shall we then assume that resistance to national health care the first time around, virulent as it was then, was also related to race?  Of course!  Slick Willy… errrrr… Ex-President William Jefferson Clinton was our first black president, and any resistance to his proposal for a boondoggle of epic fail proportions was purely because of his race.

Obama - just an idiot

Obama - just an idiot.

If resisting a proposal because it scares the living hell out of me is the definition of racist, regardless of skin color, then yes, I must be a racist.

****

We have reviewed ourselves and find ourselves to be juuuuust fine.

‘Pimp’ Video Scandal Pushes
ACORN to Launch ‘Review’

That’s what independent reviews are all about, right?

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Ask me how I felt about the notion 24 hours ago…   Blue Oyster Cult’s Don’t Fear the Reaper was running through my head with great muchness recently.   I’d have said “Bring it on, just two more steps and I’m there, baby.”

So, four days later and 10 lbs lighter, I’m feeling sorta human again.  Food in any form still looks and smells like boiled skunk – which I’m sure is a dish originating in Great Britain.  But keeping juice down is a success.  I think I’m going to live.

If the world doesn’t kill me first!!! Chemicals, the unseen menaceseses, are stalking me, you, your children, your spouse… even your hamster!

From The Independent where girls are girls and men are… girls… and where the truth can be bent and sometimes broken…

Men are the Weaker Sex.

Apparently we’re all going to look pretty damn feminine, us guys.  We’re slowly meandering towards something like this:

michael_jackson_as-herself

I’m posting a snippet of their tripe.  Note the careful wording designed to strike fear into your heart’s cockles… (emphasis mine)

The male gender is in danger, with incalculable consequences for both humans and wildlife, startling scientific research from around the world reveals.

The research – to be detailed tomorrow in the most comprehensive report yet published – shows that a host of common chemicals is feminising males of every class of vertebrate animals, from fish to mammals, including people.

Did you hear the ominous organ music?  I swear, my bowels turned to water.  Uh.  Ok, strike that last sentence since it is redundant.  My knees knocked.   Gooses (as there are no ganders anymore, per this article) flocked en masse in search of graves to run over.

Truly have the seven vials been opened.  Some of them twice.  If only no one had sniffed.

*****

Stephen King has this wonderful way of writing characters that are so believable and colorful that they are not believable.  I recall one who was a gas station owner or attendant who whips out a hanky, blows his nose or horks into it, peeks, and pockets it again.

I mean, what the hell would you say to that if you saw it?

I figured that such characters and reality-tilting behavior existed only in the pages of a book.  Not so!

Last night I wander around the corner to the store (sick or not, the monkey on your back will beat on you) and when I walked in bitching about Global Warming and all the snow it’s bringing Michigan, the clerk looks up with this amazingly friendly vacant look and chirps:

And you shouldn’t get me started on the huge hole that isn’t going away in the OH-zOHNE!  How come no one talks about… (wah wah – wah wah wah…)

Now, I don’t believe in the ozone being an issue but she may even have valid personal arguments for the hysteria, but goofily putting emPHASis on the wrong sylLABle makes you look like a real dork.  EINSTEIN would have been laughed out of scientific circles if he’d said “I’d like to propose my new speciAHL theorY of relAHtiviY“.

Mocking and cynical today, ain’t I?  Oh well.

**********

UPDATE #1:

Man, this is pretty blatantly criminal – by now someone has to stand up and call bullsh*t, right?  Franken “finds” more votes.

UPDATE #2:

More proof that dogs dominate cats.  In what promises to be one of the biggest glurges of the year that is also true, we have a lost 3 year old boy saved by puppies.

I think they’ll be getting steak for a while.

A cat would have said either “Oooh, he’s shivering, if I put my ears under his hand it’ll be as good as a scritch”  -or- “well, if you don’t have my food, who does?  Outta here.”

**********

UPDATE #3:

Drudge put a link out for MyWay news… Will Recession Mean Toned-Down Inauguration?

Well, no, actually.  Rationalization reigns supreme amongst those with tin-ears.  I’m sure there’s a lot of people who are losing their homes while watching banks and investors get bailouts who are saying “I sure wish I could have some of that money so I’m not left w/o a roof over my head that I worked hard for…”

“We’re mindful of the fact that people in this country are hurting, that they’re going through hard times,” said Linda Douglass, spokeswoman for the Presidential Inaugural Committee. “On the other hand, we see this not just as a celebration of an election, but as a time for people to come together and celebrate their common values and shared aspirations and goals.”

For those folks, I’m sure their aspirations and goals are more in line with not losing their home and finding a job.  But those values aren’t common to everybody apparently.

**********

Update #4:
If you want to piss of your neighbors, build a sonic boom cannon.  PDF file:

2419-gadget_freak_case_131_build_instructions

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